This chap is kind of just a refresh for me, as I haven't wrote this in a whiiiile, so, it may be a bit off, but here's some silly filler for you here

I know it's unprofessional as hell but I need a refresh since yeah, also could people PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE BOOK IS UP TO RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER MAN, I seriously need it, pleade

Mui pov

I was sitting on the couch with genya, snuggling into him, asking myself how I got so lucky to have him in my life.. 

Asking how lucky I must be, to be able to call him my boyfriend… it's like I won the lottery, really.. Someone like me, who literally has a body of scars, short, ugly hair, and a tear stained face, managed to get someone so caring like genya? How..? I don't understand, I must be lucky

Either that or, well.. Genyas unlucky

He's been getting me back into an eating pattern.. I haven't felt good, but.. I'm getting better.. A lot better, I'm really proud of myself to be honest… but, that's thanks to him, without genya, I'd probably still be in shits, I wouldn't have anywhere to go..

I got a notification.. I sighed, was it the hospital? Messaging about bills..? How do I break it to genya if so? He's paying for my brothers hospital bills, I should be the one paying for that, no? I don't get why he cuddles up to me so much, I really don't deserve the love he gives me.. 

Ah, let's check this messag-

Gyokko

Muichiro? Don't tell me youve forgotten that you work for me, have you? You know you have to come back, otherwise, who's going to pay for that brother of yours? 

I paused and I started to tremble a bit, covering my mouth, I put my phone down and looked away from genya, so he couldn't see me

My heart started to beat again.. Please no, I don't want to go back to being his little servant.. I don't like it, I hate how he treated me… Theres no way, right? I can't go back to this again… 

… .. … . . . 

It wasn't long before genya caught on, and gave me a look, putting down his phone, “Mui? What's wrong?” “I.. Ah, gyokko messaged and I'm just- God I don't know..” I told him, getting kind of shakey, he frowned and picked up phone, putting in my password, and looked at the message

“Ah.. Gen, don't message him, he'll kill me..” “I'll kill him if he lays hands on you again, I'm blocking him” he said, and I watched as he blocked gyokkos number… 

I knew it was the best choice… but.. I was scared.. What if he finds out… What if he finds out that he's blocked? 

I sat in silence as genya passed me my phone back, “Do you have him on anything else?” “I.. No..” “Good, should we stay off of our phones for a bit?” He asked me and I just shrugged, “I just need to calm down.. It scared me really bad, sorry..” “No, take your time, it's okay, I want you to calm down” 

“..what if he comes back and tries to hurt me genya? What if I hurt myself?” “Youre not hurting yourself, I'm making sure of that” he told me,  holding my hands firmly, his hands really warming and comforting, “And I'd never let him lay hands on you ever again after what he's done to you prior to this, alright? I won't let that slide” he told me as I shook slightly, “I don't know..” 

He sighed and brushed my hair out of my face, “Come on, come here.. I won't let him hurt you ever again, okay? Never in my life” “W-What if he hurts yui… ? He knows what hospital he's at…” “Oh I'd get serious legal action taken on that cunt if he even tried taking away your support” “I don't know.. I'm still scared, he easily could..” “He better not, yuichiros getting a lot better, isn't he?” 

I nodded in reply as he smiled slightly, “See? Come on, don't focus on gyokko, even if he's scary.. You have a brother who's getting so much better” “Hes.. He's going to die.. It's no use” “Mui what? You've never said that, you're thinking negatively, where on earth did that come from?” “Gyokko… he said yui would die…” “Well, he won't, yuichiro won't die, I'll make sure, I can't have him die, he's like the life support to you” he told me, I started to cry a bit

I didn't want yui to die… is he going to? Why do I feel so… horrible…? 

I know gyokko scared me but I've never felt so scared.. He's messaged me before to come back.. But.. Hearing that he could come get me, or even worse.. Yui… ? That's terrifying to me… I.. I don't want that… I was the one thinking those thoughts, myself.. 

Oh god.. But he'd definitely do that… . He'd definitely come to do something… 

I can't take that… if yuichiros gone… I don't know if I can live my life… I'd.. Probably take my own life on the spot… . 

I mean, with how I am.. I am kind of surprised I haven't already done that… my only support was yui, and if he ever woke up… and.. I have genya now, yes… but if yuis gone, I can't do that… He's my only hope… he's the only family I have left… they're all gone otherwise.. 

He probably wouldn't recognize me.. What would he think of me? Short hair.. I.. I have so many scars it'd be impossible to hide.. Unless I wore pants, and a hoodie all the time.. 

Genya always tells me he loves me.. That he wouldn't change my scars, that he loves them… but.. I can't help but feel like he's lying… . Who would love someone like me? 

Him… . Somehow.. 

I still.. I still don't understand why or how he loves me, I'm ugly… I have scars and cuts… I can't control myself around a sharp object, my only pretty part about me got cut, then I ruined it even more and now it's all fluffy and weird.. I'm slim, I can't eat, I'm heavily mell nourished, no matter how much genya feeds me, I can't gain weight, it's almost impossible and worries him like crazy

… . Maybe yui just wouldn't want me if he woke up? I wouldn't want me either.. 

I don't even.. Look like myself.. I'm tired and drained, timid and scared, ugly and skinny.. My damn arms have more lines than my school textbooks.. He'd wish he stayed asleep if he saw how much I changed.... 

I would too.. 

“Mui?... You're thinking out loud.. Come on, talk to me” I heard, along with someone's warm hand brushing against my face to wipe a tear

“Ah.. I… I’m tired again..” “Tired?” “I don't know.. I thought it would be better once we were together but I still have issues” “It's okay, I'll be the one to stop them”.. 

… that felt.. So nice.. 

He'll help me fix my issues, I.. I don't even know what to say… . 

I just moved forward, placing my face in his chest, and cried, “t-thank you…” “I love you mui, don't ever thank me for loving you… .” 

Yet, it felt like something I should thank him for… thank him for not finding me ugly… thank him for wanting to love my horrible, frail, scar covered body… and loving my timid, and loving self… 

He gave me a chance… I love him..