Have you ever considered going to a different place where nobody knows your name just so you could breathe fresher air? To have a temporary freedom to do whatever you want without the constant worry of the people you know criticizing you. To be restraint-free and forget about your concerns. To be able to live in your own accord for once, even for just a little while.

And who would have thought that a simple joke would be the first step in fulfilling that?

Yeonjun still couldn't believe what happened. It occurred so fast he didn't realized it was actually happening. One moment he was joking around, the next his joke was turned into reality.

Maybe that's bound to happen when you have Soobin right by your side.

After hours which gone by in a flash, we have Yeonjun and Soobin currently in a lobby of a hotel, at Tokyo, in Japan. Yeah, Yeonjun couldn't stay mad at Soobin because of this anymore. He actually took him there, just because of a joke.

Unbelievable, yet here they are.

They don't even have anything else with them aside from their wallets and passports that Soobin somehow took care of while they were in the airport earlier. They arrived and Soobin talked to this one staff and then they were lead into a private lounge and then everything was magically taken care of?

It was unknown to you Yeonjun but it wasn't entirely unplanned.

The thing Soobin had to deal with and the reason he was late? He was planning a trip.

It was supposed to be a birthday gift since Yeonjun's birthday is on 3 days. Soobin thought it would be great if Yeonjun would have the time to have fun and all so he booked a trip for him in Vegas. But something came up and the plan changed, it wasn't a solo trip anymore since he just joined Yeonjun and they aren't in Vegas.

They're in Tokyo since Yeonjun said so.

Oh, and Soobin might want to think of something else to give as a birthday gift.

How he knew about the elder's birthday? Ask Taehyun.

Back to the present, Yeonjun followed Soobin to the front desk like an obedient puppy. A female receptionist greeted them and asked about the room they would like to take.

Wait. That completely slipped Yeonjun's mind. Are they going to share a room? How long are they gonna stay there? What are they even gonna do in Japan? Why did Soobin decide it's a good idea to just leave like that? They still don't even have a phone; maybe throwing it out the window was stupid. And why the fuck is this girl looking at Soobin like that—

"We'd like to take a suite please." Said Soobin as the worker nodded her head and smiled. She typed down on the computer and did her work and Yeonjun took his time to glance around the lobby.

The place is actually beautiful with its beige and cream colored walls, matching round sofa set in the middle of the room, large chandeliers, paintings, plants and a fancy looking staircase located at the other side. Yeonjun then brought his attention back at front, and there, the name of the hotel he kinda missed moments prior greeted him. Written in a detailed golden font were the words Nakamoto Hotel in its shining glory that demands attention.

Whoever that Nakamoto owner is, Yeonjun would like to give him a pat on the back for having such magnificent hotel. And they were only at the lobby, better not disappoint when they reach their suite.

The receptionist handed Soobin their card and while he's signing some papers, she glanced at Yeonjun, bit her lip and furrowed her brows like she's in deep thought. Once Soobin was done, she looked back at him again and asked something that piqued Yeonjun's interest.

"I'm sorry but, have I seen you somewhere before?" she asked in a sheepish tone. Yeonjun's basically rolling his eyes internally.

This again? I'm freaking tired, can they hurry up?

Soobin raised his brow in a questioning way, "sorry?"

"Oh," the worker blinked, "it's just that, you look familiar."

Is she hitting on him? In front of me? I just want to rest what the fuck?

The irritation Yeonjun felt back in Korea? Well he's feeling it again and he's about to snap if this shit continues, especially now that he's tired and jetlagged.

If Soobin didn't finish it off right now, he's walking the fuck out he's telling yall.

"You might be mistaken, miss. We just got here and we're actually in our honeymoon and my husband's tired. I would really appreciate it if you let us rest now. Thank you." Soobin grabbed Yeonjun's hand and showed her their rings, making the lady flustered and bow in apology. She congratulated them before Soobin drag Yeonjun into the elevator nearby.

Soobin could only hope Yeonjun couldn't understand Japanese.

But Yeonjun does, he understood everything.

The brunette is beyond surprised if you're wondering. He did not expect those words to come out of Soobin's mouth what the fuck. This night is full of surprises and Choi fucking Soobin is the root of them all.

How dare he say that and mess with his feels? He's still not over his dilemma okay? And Soobin's not helping his case at all. In fact, he is making it worse.

As a result of his racing thoughts, Yeonjun didn't realize they're already in front of their suite if it wasn't for Soobin dragging him inside. He took in the place and admired the fancy yet cozy looking living room. Soobin went ahead and looked for the bathroom, there were clothes provided for the night so they could worry about their garments for later. Yeonjun just nodded when Soobin told him he's going to take a bath and lied down on the couch.

It is fluffy and so comfortable Yeonjun could fall right asleep this very instant but he still has to bath and change so fuck it. Anyway, he looked around and was pretty satisfied at the suite's appearance. It's in dark brown with impressive wallpapers; even the carpet used looks expensive. The thing he likes the most would be the fireplace located at the far left corner, it made the place feel even more comforting despite the extravagant set up.

There's also a mini kitchen, a balcony, two doors with one being the bathroom and one he assumes to be for the bedroom which means there's only one and they're sharing.

WAIT. HE AND SOOBIN WOULD HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM!?

THAT AIN'T IT—

Yeonjun got up suddenly, he tried to calm his heart which feels like it's about to bounce off his chest. He went to the kitchen, believing that a glass of water would help in calming him down.

He was pouring himself a glass when Soobin went out of the shower. The taller frowned when he didn't see Yeonjun where he was earlier so he looked for him around and found him in the kitchen drinking. He crept up behind Yeonjun without the brunette noticing so when he finally turned around he almost spits out his water.

Because everyone, Soobin had the fucking audacity to show up in front of him with only a white robe on and his hair dripping wet as he dried it with a towel in hand. The water that was supposed to calm him down? Useless.

He could feel the heat rushing up to his face and he swears Soobin can tell how much his face must be burning right now so he averted his gaze and found the wall so damn interesting.

His mind betrayed him by flashing an image of Soobin with water running down his forehead and fuck this Yeonjun why are you thinking that way—

"Are you alright? You don't look well—"

"No! I'm fine!" snapped Yeonjun when he noticed Soobin trying to get closer. He backed away, moving himself near the kitchen counter.

Soobin stared at him, his expression bewildered as he put the towel down. "You sure?"

"Y-yeah, I'll ju-just go take a shower too." He stuttered, still looking everywhere except Soobin's eyes. However, he remembers something that made him faced Soobin with a stern gaze as he steps forward to get near him.

"Hey you! The thing you told the girl at the lobby, what was that?" Soobin was frowning, he tossed the towel over his shoulder. "We're on our honeymoon? Really? Couldn't you think of a better excuse? You even called me your—your," Yeonjun shifted his gaze away again. "husband." It came out more of a whisper but Soobin managed to catch it, making his frown vanish slowly.

Fuck, why do his cheeks feel so hot? Is he sick?

"You understand japanese?"

"I took lessons starting mid school, of course I understand!"

"But did I lie? Isn't it true you're my husband?" The taller tilted his head, acting like an innocent little kid.

But the elder isn't having it, though he's blushing like heck right now. "You don't have to say that! It doesn't matter, we're not at home so no one cares who we are. And we're not on our honeymoon!"

Yeonjun was glaring hard, looking up at Soobin in a challenging way.

And Soobin's always in for any kind of challenges.

He took a step closer, leaned down to be the same height as Yeonjun who was startled but tried to cover it up by throwing even harsher daggers through his eyes. Now that he's face to face with the elder, he moved his face close to his ear and whispered in a hush tone. "But we could be." After that, he straightened his posture once again as if nothing happened.

Yeonjun's breath was caught in his throat. His heart hammering even faster and he feels like he's about to vomit because of these damn butterflies flying around in his stomach.

Is he flirting with me right now? Is he for real? Did he hit his head in the shower? Why am I feeling this way though? What the fuck Yeonjun get a grip of yourself.

"A-are you insane?"

Soobin shrugged, "I mean, you said it yourself— nobody cares who we are in here. So why not act like the way we are?"

"And we are what?" Yeonjun managed to say. His grip on the counter so tight, he feels his fist getting numb.

"Not Choi Soobin and Choi Yeonjun, just a married couple on their honeymoon in Tokyo." Soobin responded casually, as if what he said was the most nonchalant thing in the world.

As if what he said didn't cause Yeonjun to have a nearby heart attack experience.

As if what he said didn't made Yeonjun feel flustered and made him blush so hard.

As if what he said didn't cause a hope to spark inside Yeonjun. A hope that he's well aware that could die any second.

After all, a spark never lit up a fire.

"I'm gonna shower." He finally croaked out, bumping into Soobin as he made his way towards the bathroom.

Soobin smirked as he watched the older stumbled on his way.

Oh trust him, he's well aware of what he's doing right now.

And who cares about a spark lighting up a fire anyway?

He has a wholeass grenade and it's about to explode.

An explosion is about to come.

Can you handle it? Yeonjun?

___

When things got settled and sleep calls for these two, only then did they realize that the room only has a single bed. It was king sized anyway and wouldn't be such a hassle if they decide they'll share it but they really just had to make every small thing a big deal.

"I refuse. I'm not sleeping on the couch, you are."

"You're smaller than me, you could fit in there."

"Did you just call me short you giant!?"

"You said that yourself, dummy."

"Okay that's it. You're sleeping outside." Yeonjun finalized, getting on the bed and shimmying himself inside the covers. He fixed the pillows and lied down, saw Soobin giving him a judging look while just standing there and threw him a pillow which Soobin caught before it could hit his face.

He just wants to sleep why is Yeonjun being such a brat?

"Just so you know, I do not condone violence."

"That pillow's soft what you mean violence."

Being too tired to deal with anymore further arguments, the raven haired male decided to just say fuck it and take risk. While Yeonjun was starting to succumb into a deep slumber, he felt the mattress dipped down so his eyes fluttered open once again, only to witness Soobin making himself comfortable on the other side.

"What do you think you're doing?" Yeonjun glared, threatening to hit him with a pillow.

"Preparing to sleep, what else?"

"In here? No- I told you, you'll sleep outside." He tried pushing Soobin off. Using all the remaining strength he got left but it did him no justice. Can't blame him though, he's tired as fuck so he's arm were practically jellies right now.

Soobin had enough. He stopped Yeonjun by grabbing his arms and pinning him down on the bed—both his arms on either side of his head as Soobin restrained him down. Their faces so close to each other they could feel the other's breath on their cheeks. Yeonjun stayed there, ignoring his rapid panicking heart rate and glared up at Soobin, challenging him as if his soul isn't basically ascending to the afterlife.

"Stop that or I'll—"

"You will what?" Yeonjun dared, staring straight into the other's warning eyes.

That made Soobin smirked to Yeonjun's confusion. He lowered his face even more and placed his mouth near the pinned male's ear. "I'll kiss you." He murmured in a low voice, sending chills to run down Yeonjun's spine.

What's with Soobin always whispering and making him flustered and shit? Is that what Japan's air does to him?

Before he could lose his last bit of sanity, Yeonjun with all his power left, forced Soobin off of him and turned around. He's not dealing with him anymore. Soobin is sleep deprived that's why he's acting that way and so is he.

Do not fret on it, Yeonjun. He's just tired, he'll be okay again once he rest. For now, just sleep it off, okay?

"Whatever, just sleep." And with that, Yeonjun raised the duvet just below his chin and closed his eyes shut, ignoring Soobin and letting himself fall asleep.

The other male didn't utter another word after that and let Yeonjun have his slumber. He just lied there, watching as the elder's back rises and falls slowly, signaling that he's finally out. Soobin was about to close his eyes too when Yeonjun suddenly shifted his position and is now facing him.

His brows were furrowed a little as he stirred in his sleep, but overall he looks at peace. The little action caused a small smile to curl up Soobin's lips.

His attention was now full set on the sleeping male. Soobin adjusted his body and lied on his side with his head resting on his hand. It gives him the free access to stare at Yeonjun more easily and observe how the male frown and relax his face in a span of three seconds. It was actually oddly entertaining for him, oblivious that he's staring longingly at the unconscious male. Like a kid who discovers his Christmas gift is the one he's been wanting to have that whole year.

In short, he looks so fucking whipped.

But to be honest, Soobin has been lost for these past few weeks. He has this something he couldn't quite point out and it's starting to be weird.

And that something may or may not involve feelings.

Call it magic or insanity but Yeonjun has been consuming his thoughts lately. He even had to stay at the company until late just so he could avoid facing Yeonjun and have his thoughts tangled and his chest aching it was a fucking problem.

What the fuck is that? He can't just let himself be an idiot and catch feelings but how can he not when Yeonjun's right there? Existing and shit?

They even live at the same house which doesn't help his case at all.

It's not supposed to end up like that, okay? No one's supposed to fall because it's all part of a plan caused by their reckless drunk decisions. They're only supposed to last for a year and it's been almost 4 months so what would happen after 8 months?

This marriage isn't even serious and they would take a divorce the moment they can.

But why can't he help himself?

Why does he want to be with Yeonjun all the time? Why does he want to shower him with affection and spoil him so much? Why does he want to pepper him with kisses and embrace him so tight and not let go? Why does he want to do all those domestic shit and be all gross with him? He would even embarrass himself just to make him smile.

And fuck it, why does he want Yeonjun to feel the same even if it's all pretend?

Would it be too greedy of him if he asks Yeonjun to act as if they're for real? Would it be selfish of him?

He just wants to forget about the arrangement and act the way he's been holding himself back from doing. Even if it's just for a couple of days.

Soobin reached out his other hand forward and carefully caressed Yeonjun's cheek in a soft manner. It seems like he was doing it unknowingly so when he realized what he just did, he retracted his hand back and sighed.

"What the hell have you done to me, Yeonjun?" 

~
i don't know what i'm doing anymore