READ THIS!!! > Warning—this may trigger some people. It is meant to be open. You're supposed to decide what is happening yourself, and some may take this on a serious level( such as self-harm ).
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10
I know how it'll end. The constant ringing in my head is frustrating, distracting. I can't stop it. Even if I could, I don't know how. I don't think there's any way to do it. I briefly think about locking my room. So they can't get in. So I can't hurt them. I don't think they know yet. But then again, Astrid was always very observant. She might be getting the gang or my father at this very moment. Oh gods, what about Toothless? What about Gobber? They know, don't they? What do I do? I suddenly feel very sick. It feels like the walls are moving towards me.
Block the door and window. I have to block the door and window. I have to keep them safe. Before it's too late.
9
I can feel it coming. It's getting closer and closer by the minute. I honestly doubt I have much time left, yet I can't make myself do something. I feel sleepy. I want to sleep. I don't think it's a good idea, but it's hard to keep my eyes open. Maybe if I just close them for a while. I don't need to fall asleep to relax. I can relax just fine. Right? Yeah?... Yeah.
Having my eyes closed is nice.
8
I fell asleep. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I know I didn't sleep for long. Only about 30 seconds. Is that enough? Will it be shorter now? I hope not. I want to try and take control, even if I know it won't work. I'm not strong enough. My body and mind is getting weaker. I should just give up. Let it happen. It can't be stopped anyway, why fight when you know you're gonna lose? What will I get out of it? That's right, nothing. As long as they don't get hurt. As long as I don't do anything to them. As long as they're safe. Away from me.
I've never felt like the name Hiccup the useless is more fitting than now.
7
My room has changed entirely. I'm no longer sitting against the bed because I'm gonna throw up if I stand. Instead I'm sitting on the floor in a black room. There's nothing. I see nothing. Just darkness. The bad feeling in my stomach increases fast. I'm having a hard time breathing. Maybe it's because I'm scared. Maybe it's because there's less oxygen in the room. Disappearing slowly until I choke to death. Maybe, just maybe, this is all a dream, a nightmare. Deep down I know I'm lying to myself.
6
Something is ticking in the background. I have no idea what it is, and I probably won't ever know. My eyes are closed again, but I can't rest. It's impossible, I have too much to think about. What is gonna happen when all this is done? When this is over? What will they say? Will they be afraid of me? All the worst case scenarios are building up inside my head. The deep breaths I'm trying to take are getting shorter and shorter. It's an awful feeling, but a relief knowing it'll be over soon.
Tick... Tick... Tick... Tick... Tock.
5
I can hear someone yelling from somewhere. I don't know where it's coming from, obviously, but they sound worried about me. The sound is distant, like I'm many meters away from whoever it is. I can't understand what's being called, but it's most likely my name. I keep my eyes closed, trying to make the yelling go away.
I want peace. I just want peace. Something I can't seem to get.
4
The dumb ticking noise is getting to my head. It's getting louder. Tick, tick, tick, tick. If I knew where it's coming from I would gladly throw something over there to make it stop once and for all. I cringe every time the annoying sound reaches my ears.
It's deafening. It's the sound of defeat.
3
Even though I'm getting more and more anxious and irritated, my breathing has returned to normal. Which is good, I guess. The knots in my chest are no more, my heart is beating. My throat feels a little weird. It is strange, but I do not question it. I didn't know. I had no way of knowing. So I just sit still. Even more still than before. However, at this point I'm fully awake. My energy level is rising steadily. I'm glued to the floor. My eyes are open, starring into the now white nothingness. The black room is now very bright, so much that it's almost painful. It's kinda interesting. Interesting. Hm. How did this all turn around?
The ticking has stopped completely. Finally I have a bit of silence.
2
I blink once and I'm back in my room. The door is still blocked by my table, the window still has my shelf in front of it. There's banging on my door. I recognize the voices screaming at me, either asking nicely or commanding me to 'open the stupid door if I don't want to get my butt kicked'. I don't mind them. I think it's sweet of them. That they tried.
1
Thinking back I don't remember when this begun. Last year? The year before that? Before I befriended Toothless? Yeah, long before I befriended him. I think. Ugh, trying to remember things is making me lightheaded. I sigh. Might as well get it over with. I know it's time, so I count to ten for one last time.
At one I take a deep breath.
At two I just continue onwards. No turning back.
At three I close my eyes.
At four I think about Toothless and I.
At five I think about the gang.
At six I think about my father and Gobber.
At seven I cry soundlessly.
At eight I ignore the breaking door.
At nine I smile a sad smile.
At TEN I tell them it's too late.
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Again, you're the one deciding what's happening here. Hiccup could be harming himself—I generally think that's what most people are gonna think. He could also just be sad about his leg. This could even be a modern AU if you think that fits! It could be anything. This story has no real meaning.
I'd love to see what you think is happening. You don't have to, but if you do want to I'd love to see a review with your thoughts :)
Also, please do tell me if you think this need a higher rating!
Thanks for reading my story!