Chapter 29

I was so quiet and bothered when we started eating our dinner. Wala si Daddy at hindi rin naman umuwi si Cliff dito dahil naroon siya sa condo unit niya. It was so uncomfortable eating dinner with Mommy when I know that there's something I've known about that I couldn't tell her yet. 

Hindi pa naman ako sigurado... Ayoko munang paniwalaan... pero hindi ko mapatahimik iyong isip ko. 

My mind is constantly flooding with questions, speculations and doubts. Sunud-sunod kaya pakiramdam ko, pagod na ako agad. Kailangan ko pang mag-review mamaya. I can't risk my grades by now because this is a crucial time for me. Bukod sa ayokong magalit si Mommy pag nalamang bumaba ang mga marka ko, ayoko rin na maapektuhan iyon nang dahil sa pagdududa sa kay Daddy. 

What if it's not true anyway? Tutal ay 'di pa naman ako nakasisiguro. I want proofs. It's Daddy we were talking about in this matter. The man who took care of Cliff and I since were still in our mother's belly. He took care of Mommy since they were became a thing. He loves her and he loves us dearly... the reason why our family's sturdy today is because of him. Kasi magaling siyang pundasyon sa tahanan namin.

I couldn't imagine him making my mother cry with infidelity... Malayong-malayo 'yun sa pagkakakilala ko sa kanya. He's been a great father.  He wouldn't risk his family being broken with just another woman. He's smarter than that.

"Mommy..." tawag ko sa kalagitnaan ng katahimikan sa hapag.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa 'kin. She arched her brow and waited for what I'm going to ask.

"Kumusta po kaya si Daddy sa... Batangas?" I asked, a bit hesitant. "It's been six days since he's out of town..." I bit my lip. Hindi ko madugtungan.

Uminom muna si Mommy ng tubig bago ako sinagot. "Why don't you send him a text? Or call him, instead... He'll appreciate it." She gave me a small smile before going back to her food.

"Ah! I will po, later," I smiled a little. "Okay lang kaya siya roon, Mommy? Ikaw po? Is it okay with you if he stays there this long? Do you text each other?"

Hinintay kong matapos niya ang nginunguya para sa magiging sagot niya.

"I have no say in it, Cadence. It's his job. Ganoon din naman siya sa 'kin. I am a lawyer who reads couple of cases every day. It requires so much time to get done with it. He's always giving me time to do my job and I really appreciate it. Now, he's out because of his job so I'd understand it as well," she replied. "And to answer your another question, yes. We text sometimes."

"Sometimes lang, Mommy?"

She squinted her eyes on me. Napatuwid ako ng upo at bahagyang napayuko. I get really intimidated every time she stares at me this way!

"Of course. What are you expecting? That we're texting each other every hour of the day? We're not teenagers anymore and we have jobs to fulfill. You'd eventually understand that when you have your own family."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. I saw her smile. My lips slowly protruded. It was a teasing smile. I think I know where this is heading.

"How's Note?" she asked suddenly. 

Nagpatuloy siya sa pag-kain habang hinihintay ang sagot ko. I finished chewing my food then drink some water before talking.

"Ayos lang naman po siya."

"Hmm. You know, even though I was focused in trials and cases, I am still updated. Your Auntie Neri updates me every time."

Napalunok ako. I can only imagine what things Auntie had told her! Iba pa naman mag-kwento si Auntie... Medyo exaggerated.

"Tell me about it," Mommy said.

"About what po?!"

She smirked. "About you and Note."

"Ah... we're... fine naman... po..." Now, I can't look at her longer anymore.

Sumulyap ako kay Mommy. I saw her smirk etched on her serious face. "In his birthday, you asked me to train you to cook for his food. I was also busy that day that's why I haven't attended his celebration and had myself stuck inside the study room for long but... you do know that I can take a water break and go out of the balcony when I want a rest, right?"

I... haven't thought of that. Sa balcony ng study ay kitang-kita 'yung garden namin! And we did kiss that night not even inside the tent but only on the picnic mat which means... 

Namilog iyong mga mata ko. I looked at my mother to confirm if my conclusion was right but when I saw her expression, gusto ko na lang lumubog sa kinauupuan ko. Mommy has now restraining her smile but her eyes failed her miserably. 

I sighed inwardly. Bakit nga ba ako matatakot? Nakalimot yata ako na gustung-gusto ni Auntie Neri at ni Mommy na kaming dalawa ni Note ang magkatuluyang dalawa! But still... nakakahiya! I was the one who kissed him first that night! And we did not kiss just once! Naulit pa 'yon! At medyo matagal iyong pangalawa! All of what happened on that picnic mat, nakita ni Mommy sa balcony!

"You know, anak, it's good to be straight-forward at times but you don't have to be so aggressive because you might scare your boyfriend."

I groaned. Paano naman nalaman ni Mommy na boyfriend ko na si Note? Was this her conclusion when she saw us kissing? Well, totoo naman, pero masyado na 'kong nagigisa rito sa kinauupuan ko sa mantika ng kahihiyan!

"How did you know that he's already my boyfriend, Mommy?" I asked frantically.

"Are you kidding me, Cadence? You kissed a man, it's just fair to commit to him. You don't kiss just a random person for nothing, anak. That's like... what a playgirl does."

I pouted. Pa'no ba napunta sa amin iyong usapan? Kanina lang siya ang tinatanong ko tungkol sa kanila ni Daddy!

"So... kayo na?" she probed more.

I sighed. Yumuko ako para paglaruan iyong mga daliri kong nasa ibabaw ng hita ko. "Opo, Mommy. After that night happened. I'm sorry po if we kept this a secret." I bit my lower lip. "I'm only seventeen... we plan on telling about this to everyone when I'm legal already. But since you knew this early... I'm sorry, Mommy."

She chuckled. Napa-angat 'yung tingin ko sa kanya nang marinig siyang tumawa. I stared at her with awe. Minsan ko lang siya marinig tumawa nang ganito... madalas hanggang tipid na ngiti lang iyong nakikita ko. Wow... she's more beautiful when she's laughing. Napangiti rin ako.

"Don't worry about me. I won't tell your Daddy about it," she said while wiping the tears escaped from her eyes from too much laughing. "Kakampi mo ako patungkol diyan. I'll respect your plan for the future. Relasyon niyo iyan kaya kayo ang mag-sabi sa iba. It's not my news to tell anyway."

I sighed again. Parang nabunutan ako ng tinik sa lalamunan.

"Thank you, Mommy."

Dumapo iyong tingin niya sa kamay at daliri kong nakahawak na sa kubyertos. Suot ko ngayon 'yung promise ring na bigay ni Note sa akin. She smiled. I can't get my eyes off her. Whenever she's smiling like this, I can say that I'm really her daughter. Magkamukhang-magkamukha kami ng ngiti. I'd love to see her smiling like this...

"Hmmm my youngest already has her own boyfriend..." she teased.

I pouted. "Mommy..."

She laughed. "Kahit papaano, tama pa rin pala 'yung ibinabalita ni Nerissa sa 'kin. I thought she's lost her credibility."

"Sa kanya niyo po nalamang boyfriend ko na si Note?!"

"Uh-huh. Her son told her about it. He's so open with everything to her nothing like you to me..."

I bit my lips. I kind of regret it that we're not close enough for me to tell her my things. Masyado kasi siyang seryoso at istrikto pagdating sa pag-aaral ko. I often get scared and intimidated by her so I couldn't comfortably blabber nonsense around her. Mas close si Cliff sa kanya kaysa sa akin. And I'm always a Daddy's child...

"I'll tell you anything from now on, Mom.. Is that okay?" nahihiya kong tanong.

She gave me a warm smile. "I'd love that."

I smiled widely at her answer. 

Nagsimula akong mag-kwento ng tungkol sa mga nangyayari sa amin ni Note. For some reason, I just want to tell her everything about me. Everything I feel, everything I think about. 

Ayoko pa munang banggitin sa kanya iyong tungkol kay Daddy. She's smiling now. She's happy now. I don't want to break her heart by just merely assumptions. And if in case, I proved it right, that's when I'll cross the bridge.

The next day, I was pretty prep up for the exams. Nagising ako kaninang madaling araw para mag-review. Note called me on facetime so we could review together virtually. We were just there... reviewing in the middle of the silence... while we're on a video call. Occasionally, we're talking. Minsan naman, nagtatanungan para sa mga terminologies.

"What time did you sleep?" he asked when he saw me yawning while reviewing. 

"I slept right after I texted you. Inaantok lang ako dito sa binabasa ko."

He chuckled. "Unsurprising. It's history. I like it better if it includes name of people and places. I suck at dates."

"But you're good in numbers!" Umirap ako dahil nagpapa-humble pa ang isang ito.

"But not dates. Nakakalito. I hate it," he laughed. "Pwede pa kung sa date natin," he winked so I rolled my eyes. Mas lalo siyang natawa.

"Mag-review na tayo ulit! Nagkakalokohan na..."

"I'm serious, though!" he complained, still with a ghost of smile on his lips. "Date later? After exam? May utang ka pang kwento sa 'kin."

"Fine..."

The exam went smoothly better than yesterday. Mukhang hiyang nga sa akin 'yung pagre-review sa madaling araw, ah. 

"Note, I prepared you lunch!" Giselle handed a lunch box to Note when we gathered in the cafeteria. 

Buo ang banda ngayon at kasama ko si Maya. Bigla na lang na namang sumulpot si Giselle galing sa kung saan. Naki-upo siya agad sa table namin at inilapit pa lalo kay Note iyong ibinibigay na lunch box.

Note sighed. "Thank you, Giselle... pero may pagkain na ako."

"Oh! Eat it for later na lang. The exam will surely draining for this afternoon. You can eat that later," aniyang naka-ngiti pa.

Ngumiwi si Maya sa harap ko. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pag-kain habang nasa tabi ni Note. Pag-upo ni Giselle kanina, binati niya ang lahat. Inihuli niya akong batiin gamit 'yung obvious na pekeng ngiti. I returned her her fake smile. 

Buong lunch break, kung anu-anong bagay iyong tinatanong niya kay Note. Ayos lang naman sa 'kin 'yan. Hindi naman ako maiirita sana kung kakausapin lang kaya nang nakita kong dumapo na 'yung kamay niya sa braso ng boyfriend ko, tumayo na ako sa inuupuan ko.

The eyes of the crowd went to me. Medyo marami 'yung estudyante ngayon dito kaya kinalma ko iyong sarili ko.

"Hands off, Giselle," I told her calmly.

Note frantically peeled Giselle's fingers from her grip off his arm. Kaso ang intrimitida ay ibinalik agad ang kamay sa braso niya!

"Giselle, ano ba," mariing banggit ni Note. 

But Giselle just clung more to Note's arm! Tumuwid ako ng tayo habang nakaharap na sa kanila. Humalukipkip ako habang mariin na tinitignan 'yung koala na nakawala yata sa zoo. 

"Giselle, you might want to get your hands off him, now," Guilbert warned. 

"Yeah... I don't wanna see her explode here any moment..." Lucky muttered.

Note forcefully removed Giselle's hand off him and stood up too. Iritado na 'yung mukha niya pero nang tumingin siya sa 'kin, nawala iyon at napalitan ng pag-aalala.

"Calm down, princess... let's go back to eating..." marahan niyang sinabi habang hinahanap ng kamay ang mga siko ko.

Tinaasan ko ng kilay si Giselle habang pinapanood siyang nanlilisik ang mga matang nakatingin sa paglalambing ni Note sa akin. 

"Isn't it clear yet, Giselle?" I asked, again, calmly. I'm trying to be calm, actually. Malapit na talaga akong mapuno sa mga pambatang pang-aasar niya.

I can feel everyone's attention is on us now. Mayroong mga sumisinghap at nagbubulungan. Meron ding mga abala na sa mga gadgets nila.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Note na pumipigil sa 'kin at ibinaba iyon. He's almost hugging my waist now. Gusto kong umirap. Did he think I'd slap this annoying girl on her annoying face just because she's annoying the hell out of me? Hindi naman ako ganoon kababaw para manakit agad kahit na gigil na talaga ako sa kanya.

I intertwined Note's hand with mine and showed it to her with a smile. A couple of gasps around were heard. Pati si Maya na nasa tabi ni Jessi, naka-takip na rin ang bibig habang nanlalaki ang mga matang nakatingin sa amin. Can't blame her... hindi pa ako nagku-kwento sa kanya.

"We're exclusively dating, Giselle. I demand for a respect for I am his girlfriend," I announced.

I glanced at Note and saw him staring at me like he couldn't believe that I did what I just do.

Ibinalik ko ang kalmado pero mariin na titig kay Giselle na nangingilid na ang luha sa mga mata.

"I am not restricting you from being his fan or his friend. But if you want further than that, then I think I have to go against you," dagdag ko. I tilted my head and arched a brow for her. "He's not available for anyone anymore. He is mine alone."

Pinanood ko ang pagtaas-baba ng balikat niya dahil sa galit. She's glaring at me evidently before storming out of the cafeteria being furious. 

Well, I am furious, too. Pero kaya ko pang pigilan. 

"Alam kong territorial ka, princess, pero hindi ako nag-expect ng ganito! Tumindig balahibo ko!" Lucky complained. 

Jessi chuckled at Maya's reaction. Manghang naka-tingin pa rin kasi si Maya sa akin hanggang ngayon. Guilbert smirked, too.

"Hoy, de Cordova, humihinga ka pa ba diyan?" he asked Note.

Speaking of... Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at naabutan siyang nakatulala pa rin sa kamay kong mahigpit na nakahawak sa kamay niya sa harap ng lahat.

"Are you okay?" I asked him gently. 

Dahan-dahan siyang tumingin sa 'kin. I can feel his thumb caressing the promise ring he gave me. 

Unti-unti siyang ngumiti. "Parang gusto na kitang pakasalan ngayon."

I grinned. Just like that, nawala na agad 'yung pagngingitngit ng kalooban ko.

"Kalmahin mo, bro," Lucky interrupted. "Ipa-graduate mo muna!"

I chuckled. Bumalik kami sa pagkakaupo para tapusin iyong pagkain namin. They teased me about what happened the entire remaining time we have for the break. Natapos na lang iyon at lahat pero 'di pa rin sila matigil sa katutukso. 

"Oh, malapit na kami sa classroom namin. Maghiwalay na muna kayo!"

"Ihahatid ko muna sila sa room nila, Luck. Sunod ako," Note said.

"Sus! Oh, ikaw, Jess? Sa'n ka?" 

"Samahan ko lang si Note, dude," napapakamot na sagot niya.

"Ha? E 'di sasama na rin kami," Guilbert insisted.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Maya. Naningkit ang mga mata ko sa kanya pero umiwas agad siya ng tingin. I didn't probe further.

The exam went on. It was fine until it lasted. Mabuti at tatlong subject na lang iyon bago natapos. Nang umalis na 'yung proctor namin, halos napasigaw na lahat dahil syempre, bakasyon na!

Nagmamadali akong mag-ayos ng gamit dahil may usapan kami ni Note na magdi-date ngayon! Excited na ako kahit hindi ko naman alam kung saan talaga kami pupunta. Nagpaalam na rin agad si Maya dahil may pupuntahan pa raw siya. Hindi na lang ako nagtanong kahit na medyo alam ko na kung saan ang punta niya.

I was about to go to the parking lot because that's where Note's waiting for me but a toned built of a chest stopped my track.

"Hello, hello!" 

"Cliff!" I exclaimed. "Anong ginagawa mo rito?" 

He's always been busy with his studies. Graduating na siya. Busy rin siya sa pagrereview sa entrance exam nila kaya hindi ko kinukulit. Malayo ang building ng senior high mula rito sa amin. 

I looked around and saw some girls around who are giggling by the sight of him. Naka-puting plain tshirt lang kasi siya tsaka maong na pantalon. May nakasabit pang dark brown aviators sa collar ng tshirt niya.

Ngumisi siya tsaka inakbayan ako. "Makapagtanong, ah... Hindi mo ba ako na-miss, Kapatid?"

Umirap ako. Alam ko kung anong klaseng ngisi 'yang pinapakita niya ngayon.

"Anong kailangan mo?"

"Date tayo!" Lalong lumapad 'yung ngiti niya. "Libre ko!"

"'Wag ngayon!" tanggi ko agad. "May lakad ako..."

"Anong lalakarin mo?" Humigpit 'yung akbay niya sa 'kin. Napangiwi ako. "May date ka 'no?!"

I wagged my shoulders so he would free me. Lumayo agad ako pagkabitiw niya sa 'kin.

"Ano naman kung meron?"

"Aha!" pag-e-eskandalo niya. "Sabi na nga ba't tama 'yung mga naririnig kong bali-balita! Kayo na, ha? Kayo na? Bakit hindi ko alam 'yan?"

"Oo..." 

"Ano?!" he shouted. "Anong oo?! Linawan mo 'yang sagot mo!"

"Oo, kami na..." marahan kong sabi habang nakangiti nang maamo sa kanya. If I am possessive of him, mas possessive siya sa akin. Mas mahigpit pa siya kumpara kay Daddy. 

I flinched a bit when I thought of him... I tried to call him yesterday but he wasn't answering my calls.

"Huh?! Bakit? Kailan? Saan? Paano?"

"Bakit? Kasi mahal ko na. Kailan? Noong birthday niya. Saan? Sa garden natin. Paano?" I trailed off. I walked closer to whisper it to him. "I kissed him."

"What?!" mas malakas na tanong niya. His eyes were bawling out in shock and frustration while looking at me. "You... what?!"

Umiwas ako ng tingin. "Narinig mo naman!" 

Naglakad na ako papunta sa parking lot. Sumunod agad siya. Hindi pa rin nakakalma si Cliff dahil sa huling sinabi ko. Mukhang kailangan ko siyang pagbigyan ngayon para hindi siya tuluyang magalit sa 'kin. Kahit naman ganito 'tong kapatid ko, gusto ko pa ring makuha 'yung approval niya.

"Wala bang tao sa bahay no'n? Paano mo nalaman 'yan? Sino nagturo sa 'yo?!" sunud-sunod ang tanong niya habang nakasunod sa akin.

"Kapatid, I watch romcom films! May mga halikan at landian doon. Tsaka baka nakalilimutan mo na isinasama mo ako dati bilang third wheel niyo ng mga babaeng dini-date mo! Syempre may mata ako at isip kaya lahat ng nakikita ko, na-stored 'yun sa utak ko."

He groaned. "You mean... that kind of kiss?!"

Uminit 'yung pisngi ko. "Hindi 'yung tulad ng inyo!"

Naningkit 'yung mga mata niya. "'Yung sa movie 'yung tinutukoy kong halik. The heck... You saw me kissed my dates?"

Umirap ako. "Duh?! Syempre, matagal kayong nawawala kaya naku-curious ako at sinusundan ko kayo!"

"The fuck?!"

Umiling ako. Nakarating na kami sa parking lot at nakita ko nang naghihintay si Note doon. Nang makita ako at 'yung kapatid kong mura nang mura sa likuran ko, lumapit na siya sa amin.

"Hoy, Nota! Balita ko, girlfriend mo na 'tong kapatid ko, ah?" maangas na tanong ni Cliff tsaka ako inakbayan. Ngumiwi ako. "Niligawan mo ba 'tong mabuti, ha?"

Sumabat agad ako. "He did-"

"Hindi ikaw kinakausap ko, Cadence!" putol niya agad sa sinasabi ko.

"Liligawan ko pa rin siya kahit na kami na," kalmadong sagot ni Note.

"Siguraduhin mo lang!" My brother's glaring at him but I find it funny. Para siyang batang nagmamaktol dahil hindi naisali sa laro. "At huwag na huwag mo 'tong sasaktan. Kahit kayo na, babantayan pa rin kita. Lagot ka sa 'kin kapag 'eto ang pinaiyak mo. Malulumpo ka."

"Cliff!" Kinurot ko siya. Nainis agad ako sa pagbabanta niya.

Note chuckled. "Aalagaan ko siya. 'Wag kang mag-alala."

"At ikaw!" Bahagya niya akong piningot. "Kapag pinaiyak ka nito, sa 'kin ka lumapit para alam ko agad kung kailan ko 'yan gugulpihin."

I groaned. Sinipat ko agad 'yung kamay niyang naka-pingot sa 'kin. 

"Akin siya ngayon," Cliff announced. "Kung may date kayo ngayon, malas niyo."

"Cliff naman..." I complained.

Kumunot agad 'yung noo niya. "Aba? Akala ko ba na-miss mo ako? Ngayon na nga lang ako nagka-time para sa 'yo, aayawan mo pa 'ko?"

Note smiled. "Let's move our date tomorrow, princess."

I pouted as I look at him. Siya lang naman itong inaalala ko, e. Excited pa naman kami kanina sa uwian para rito. Though I can't deny that I really missed my brother...

"You sure?"

He nodded. "Be safe and enjoy, okay? And text me when you get home."

"Okay! Ingat ka..." I smiled back at him.

Ngumiti rin siya habang pinapanood 'yung pag-ngiti ko. I watched him smile.

"Nakakairita pala maging third wheel..." bulong-bulong ng lalaking naka-akbay sa akin. "Kuya Rick! Siguro palagi kang third wheel dito sa dalawa, ano?"

Kuya Rick only laughs.

Umirap ako sa kanila. Kumawala ako sa pagkaka-akbay ng kapatid ko para lumapit kay Note. Just when I'm in front of him, I tip-toed and kissed him on his cheek. 

"Text mo rin ako pag nakauwi ka na, ha," bilin ko.

He stifled a smile. Yumuko siya para bigyan din ako ng halik sa pisngi. "I will, Skylah. Enjoy your time with your brother."

I nodded and smiled wider.

Naputol nga lang dahil may humihila na sa braso ko papunta sa kabilang sasakyan. "Hoy, umaabuso kayo! Tama na 'yan! Nasa school grounds pa, oh?!"

I laughed and I waved my hand to his side. Pinanood niya lang 'yung pagpasok namin ni Cliff sa kotse habang nakangiti pa rin. 

"I've never been that cheesy before, damn," Cliff muttered while he's starting the car's engine.

"Because you only had flings! Wala kang sineryoso."

Umiling siya sa akin. "Ikaw pa talaga ang nauna sa ating dalawa."

Tinawanan ko siya dahil sa disappointment niya. Ibinalik niya 'yung topic ng paghalik ko kay Note noon sa bahay. Patuloy ang pangse-sermon niya sa 'kin tungkol dito pero imbes na mainis, tinatawanan ko na lang siya. Besides, I miss him... and I need to talk about Dad. Tingin ko, mas mabuting sa kanya ko muna sabihin dahil alam kong maiintindihan niya ako.