Chapter 24

Note was absent the whole first week of the class. Something unexpected about his cousin's baby happened so they need to stay there for some matters. While I, on the other side, was welcomed with students' stares and questions. Masyado silang curious sa status namin ni Note! Palibhasa halos lahat sila, nasa following list si Note sa Instagram. Nakita raw nila 'yung post nung new year.

"No, hindi kami," I replied when some of my friends asked me.

"Showbiz naman masyado si Cady!" Lyla teased. "Anyway, we asked lang. You know naman na even if I am his fan, I still want you two to be together!"

I laughed at them. "Thank you for that."

Kahit sa classroom namin, 'di pa rin ako nakawala. They automatically chant their 'ayiiiee' and 'uuuyyy' when I went inside. I just laugh at them. They were so loud. Buti na lang, pumasok na 'yung teacher namin kaya nabaling sa lectures 'yung atensyon nila.

When lunch time came, nagkwentuhan lang kami ni Maya ng mga pinagkaabalahan namin noong Pasko at new year. We had no chance to see each other in between because they went out of the country for those occasions. We were so indulged with eating and talking when suddenly, a sharp flash of light made us shut our eyes. 

"Luck, bobo mo, may flash." Guilbert laughed out loud. Natawa rin si Jessi na kasama rin nila. 

I glared at the boys who are currently sitting down with us. May kanya-kanya na silang dalang tray ng pagkain. Jessi sat down beside Maya while Guilbert sat at my right and Lucky on the other side. Naka-ngisi silang tatlo sa 'kin kaya umirap na ako.

"Problema niyo?" I asked them. "At para saan 'yung picture, Luck? Sakit sa mata!" 

Humagalpak si Guilbert. "Isi-send niya 'yan kay Note kapalit ng pasalubong."

I glared at Lucky. "Baka naman pangit ako diyan! I'll send you a selfie, instead!"

"Sus! Gusto rin!" Lucky teased. He leaned closer to say something. "Anong meron? Kayo na ba? Sinagot mo na? Kelan pa?"

I burst out in laughter. "Ang chismoso mo!" Tinulak ko siya habang natatawa pa. Seriously? Ilan na ba ang nagtanong sa 'kin ngayon? I shook my head. "Hindi pa kami, okay?"

"Pa." Guilbert nodded as if he understood something.

Maya giggled. 

"Everyone thinks that you're in a relationship already. Marami na ring nagtanong sa 'kin kanina. I just shrug at them because I don't know about it either," she said.

"They're really curious, aren't they?" I grinned. "Hayaan mo sila."

Jessi smiled. "Good thing Note became honest about his feelings."

Everyone nodded.

"Oo. Akala namin, 'di na 'yun magtatapat, e," Lucky laughed. "Halata namang may gusto sa 'yo."

I frowned. I don't get how they knew about this beforehand. Ako nga, hindi ko nahalata, e. "Nah. Ganoon naman kami noon pa as friends. He's naturally sweet." 

"Good for him," Jessi said, nodding his head slightly.

I arched my brow toward Jessi. "How about you, Jess?"

He swung his head up to look at me, looking surprised at my question. "H-ha?"

"I mean, do you have a girl in mind? 'Yung nagugustuhan mo?" I smirked while asking. I saw how his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed. Nakatingin kaming lahat sa kanya, including Maya. Ang tagal niya kumilos, e. I-wingman ko kaya? 

Jessi cleared his throat. "Meron na."

I smiled successfully.

"Weh?!" Lucky reacted like he's betrayed. "Talaga?! Bakit hindi ko alam?"

Guilbert chuckled. "Kadiri ka, pare. Ano, chicks ka? Kailangan alam mo?"

I giggled. Pasimple akong sumulyap kay Maya na tahimik nang bumalik sa pag-kain. Suddenly, I felt a soft thud on my shoes under the table. My eyes locked with Jess' and I saw how pleading his face was. Natawa ako lalo.

"You better not let her slip if you really like her, Jess," I gave him piece of advice. Kung nahalata ng boys ang feelings ni Note gaya ng sabi nila, mukhang ako lang ang nag-iisang may alam ng feelings ni Jess para sa best friend ko. "Then after that, make sure she will formally meet our group."

Jessi nodded then smiled at me. "Of course."

Tumango rin si Lucky. "'Wag kang gagaya kay Guilbert na puro date lang, 'di naman natin kilala kung sino."

"'Wag kang mag-alala. Pag seryoso ako, ihaharap ko sa inyo," Guilbert grunted.

"Kelan pa 'yon?"

I laughed at Lucky's mockery towards Guilbert. Kumain na lang ako dahil nagsimula na naman sila sa asaran. Meanwhile, Maya became silent and just eat in peace. Ganoon din si Jessi.

* * *

Medyo nanibago ako nung uwian dahil iyong driver namin iyong sumundo sa 'kin kinahapunan. Nag-phone lang ako habang nasa byahe. Nag-like ng mga kung anu-ano. When I arrived home, si Manang lang 'yung sumalubong sa 'kin.

"Nandito po ba si Daddy, Manang?" I asked. The house is big but it feels empty. Hindi na rito umuuwi palagi si Cliff, he has his own condo unit now. "At si Mommy po?"

"'Yung Daddy mo, 'nak, kaaalis lang. Nagkasalisi kayo. May dalang maleta, 'di ko na natanong kung saan pupunta. Ang Mommy mo naman ay tumawag, may overtime daw sa opisina nila kaya mauna ka na raw kumain."

My shoulder slumped as I nodded on what I heard. "Paakyat na lang po sa kwarto 'yung dinner ko, Manang."

"Sigurado ka ba, Cadence?"

"Opo."

I rested a little before going to my bathroom to take a quick shower. After that, I finished some assignments we had for today. Sandali ko lang din naman 'yun ginawa dahil madali lang. Naka-dolphin shorts na ako at over-sized shirt nang umupo sa kama kasama iyong gitara ko. I want to compose another song. May naisip akong magandang line para sa lyrics kanina, e.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagsi-strum nang tumunog 'yung phone ko. Nag-pop up 'yung pangalan ni Note sa screen para sa Facetime. Sinuklay ko agad 'yung buhok ko gamit ang mga daliri dahil naka-lugay lang naman. Nang tingin ko na okay na, sinagot ko na 'yung tawag.

Nakita ko agad 'yung mukha niya sa screen. He was wearing a black cap and a white shirt. His eyes look tired and sleepy. He was walking shortly then entered a room and closed the door. Kumunot agad 'yung noo ko nang makita 'yung hitsura niya.

"Hi," he smiled at the camera.

"Hey. Did you not sleep?" I asked him softly. "You look tired."

"Ngayon pa lang." He yawned. He sat down on the bed. Namumungay 'yung mga mata niya tsaka namumula 'yung matangos niyang ilong. "Nawalan ng malay si Ate Fate, e. We rushed her to the hospital earlier. She did not eat nor sleep. Umiyak lang magdamag. Ako muna 'yung nag-bantay sa kanya sa ospital kasi iyong iba, bantay naman sa burol ng baby niya. Pinalitan ako ni Tita kaya kauuwi ko lang."

I bit my lip. Kung wala lang pasok, sumunod na rin ako doon, e.

I sighed. I am closed with Note's family, too. Nalulungkot ako sa nangyari. "How is she before you left? I hope she can overcome this..."

"She will eventually. Malakas 'yun," he replied with a sigh.

"And you should sleep and rest, too. Don't overuse your body. Baka magkasakit ka naman niyan," I told him. "Teka, kumain ka na ba? Baka nagpapagutom ka rin?"

Marahan siyang ngumiti. "I ate earlier in the hospital," he replied. "Nakauwi ka na?"

"Oo. Nag-practice kami sandali nung boys. May gig kasi sa Thursday night sa Silver Rocks."

"Oh, that..." His eyebrows furrowed a bit. Parang bigla siyang na-bother. "I can't attend with you.. It's a club, right?"

I nodded. "And a resto-bar. Maaga 'yung start para sa chillnuman. Around 11 pm siguro, tapos na kami. Papalitan naman agad ng DJ pagtapos ng tugtog." Nginitian ko siya. Naka-simangot pa rin kasi siya hanggang ngayon. "Na-practice na namin ng boys kanina 'yung mga kanta sa set na 'yun. Don't worry about us, okay? We got this."

He nodded. Bumuntong-hininga rin. "What are you going to wear, then?" 

I shrugged. "Just some tube top, black leather jacket and high-waist shorts." I'll wear my ankle boots, too, to complete my outfit. I'm thinking of just letting my hair down dahil air conditioned naman doon sa Silver Rocks kaya malamig.

He exhaled a huge air. Napansin ko 'yung pag-seseryoso niya. I pouted.

"Am I not allowed to wear those?" I asked him carefully. I don't want to upset him by this matter. Pagod na nga siya doon, e, ta's dadagdag pa ako.

"No. Of course you can," he replied quickly in a soft matter. "It's your body. It's your choice. I'm just worried. Wala ako d'yan nun. I'm afraid there will be some assholes while I'm not around. I can't protect you while I'm away."

Ngumiti ako. He's really so protective of me. I appreciate his concern but I urged myself to be braver after what happened then. Hindi porke nangyari sa 'kin 'yun, lilimitahan ko na iyong sarili ko sa pagsusuot ng mga bagay na gusto ko. Instead of being scared, I watched videos online how to do self-defense. Madali lang naman matutunan kaya 'di muna ako nagpa-enrol sa special class. Next time siguro.

"Don't worry, it's safe," I assured him. "Kaibigan ng pinsan ko 'yung may-ari. They'll get me a VVIP security for that night," I joked. "Tsaka hindi ako lalayo kay Lucky. He'll stay for sure in one corner to just eat. And I won't drink. I promise."

He sighed. "Just be safe, okay? Mag-enjoy ka pero mag-iingat pa rin."

"Yes, Daddy." I grinned.

Inirapan niya ako. "Seryoso kasi."

Tumawa ako. Pikon talaga! "Opo. Sige na. Matulog ka na muna. I'll text you later and tomorrow after waking up. Magpahinga ka muna. 'Yung fangirls mo, mga nagsisi-iyakan na rito."

He chuckled. "Why?"

Umirap ako tsaka siya tinaasan ng kilay. "Bakit nga ba?!"

Humalakhak siya. "I'll sleep now, then."

I scoffed. Halatang iniiba usapan! Pero hinayaan ko na kasi naniningkit na 'yung mata niya sa antok.

"Ibaba mo na nga. Sleep well." I bit my lip when I realized how soft my voice was. Ang lambing ng kinalabasan! Mabuti na lang, 'di na niya ako tinukso kahit nakita kong nagpigil siya ng ngiti. 

"Text me later, okay?" he said. I nodded, still biting my lower lip. "Take care, princess. See you soon. I'll dream of you..."

Nanlaki 'yung mga mata ko. Pilit kong kinunot iyong noo ko.

"Alam mo, habang papatagal, ang landi mo na."

He laughed. "Sa 'yo lang naman."

I bite the side of my cheeks to contain my smile. "Ibaba mo na nga. Matulog ka na. Sayang oras."

"Tss. Kailan ka pa naging sayang sa oras?"

"Note!" Pinandilatan ko na siya. "Matulog ka na sabi."

Lumapad ang ngiti niya. "Fine, fine. Goodnight, Skylah. I love you."

Agad nag-init ang mukha ko. Nataranta ako kaya na-end ko agad 'yung tawag niya. Ayan kasi! Bakit ba palagi siyang nambibigla?! Baka sa sobrang gulat ko, masagot ko 'yung 'I love you' niya nang wala sa oras!

Huminga ako ng malalim. I composed a message. Sana natulog na lang 'yun.

'I'm sorry. Na-end ko 'yung call. Tulog ka na.'

Nanlaki 'yung mga mata ko nang nakitang tumatawag siya uli. I cancelled the call quickly.

From: Note Asriel

Why are you cancelling all my calls hahaha

I replied right-away. 'Matulog ka na nga! Hindi na 'ko sasagot ng mga tawag.'

Wala pang isang minuto ay nag-reply na siya agad.

From: Note Asriel

Pati mga tawag ko? :(

"Ang pabebe nito, kainis," bulong ko habang naka-ngisi. 

'Sleep now or I'll get sad.' Mas pabebe 'yung reply ko. Nag-selfie pa ako habang naka-pout para magmukhang mas malungkot tsaka isinend sa kanya. 

From: Note Asriel

Aww cute. So how can I sleep when you gave me something to stare upon?

Umirap ako sa pangungunsumi sa kanya. Nangingiti ako sa kalandian niya pero gusto ko na talaga siyang maka-tulog para makapag-pahinga naman siya. For sure, mamaya, puyat na naman 'yun. 'Pag burol pa naman sa mga probinsya, talagang walang tulugan sa pag-aasikaso ng mga bisita.

'Please? Sleep na.'

From: Note Asriel

Hahaha okay, princess. Cheer up now. Will text you later when I wake up. I love you.

Pumikit ako nang mariin tsaka huminga nang malalim. Ilang beses. I choose not to reply and turned off my phone to stop myself from saying the same words. Gusto ko, sasabihin ko lang 'yun pag kaharap ko na siya. And yes, I'm now sure kung ano itong nararamdaman ko. I thought it's just a simple attachment or narrow crush. But as I think further, lumalabas na 'di lang 'yun iyong feelings na meron ako para sa kanya.

God, he's my very first love.

* * *

When Thursday night came, sinundo na lang ako nila Jessi gamit iyong sasakyan niya para sabay-sabay kaming makarating sa Silver Rocks. Bitbit ko 'yung gitara ko dahil 'di ko gamay iyong gitara roon. Mas ayos pa sa 'kin 'yung gitarang lagi kong gamit sa music room ng school. 

As what I told Note, nag-tube top ako na pinaibabawan ng leather jacket at high-waist shorts sa pang-ibaba. Pagdating namin doon, sinalubong agad kami ni Ate Roana—iyong kaibigan ng pinsan ko—para igiya paakyat ng stage. I was surprised to see the instruments complete. Sila talaga 'yung nag-provide ng drums at electric guitars. Ang ganda rin ng pagkaka-ayos ng sound system.

"Thank you for giving us time, Cady," Ate Roana said while the boys are busy busking around.

"And thank you for giving Skynote the opportunity to play here. Ang ganda rito, Ate!"

Sa tapat ng stage ay 'yung malawak na dancefloor. Tapos marami nang nakakalat na mga round tables at high stools. Meron din mga couch at square tables sa bawat isa. Sa magkabilang gilid ng stage naroon iyong bar counter. There are so many liquors displayed.

"Salamat. I'll treat you later but juice muna ang sa 'yo since bawal ka pa. 'Yung mga kasama mo, they're on legal ages na, right?" I nodded at her question. "'Yun. Then tell them to just order what they want. It's on the house." She winked.

I nodded and grinned at her. Paniguradong si Guilbert lang naman 'yung matutuwa sa offer na iyon ni Ate Roana. Si Lucky, pagkain lang ang io-order. Si Jessi naman, for sure, he won't drink. He's our driver for tonight. He's a pretty responsible person. At ako, bukod sa bawal, nangako na 'ko kay Note na hindi iinom. The least thing I would do is to make him worry.

Paunti-unti na 'yung pagdami ng tao. Mula 4 pm pala hanggang 11 pm ay resto-bar ito. Wherein they can eat and drink while chilling. May iba nang tumugtog kanina bago kami. Kami iyong last set. I texted Note just to inform him that we'll be starting real soon.

He replied right-away.

From: Note Asriel

Enjoy pls :)

I smiled upon reading. Iniwan ko na muna sa pouch ko iyong phone bago kami umakyat sa stage dala iyong gitara ko.

"Mic check," I pronounced over the mic. Ganoon din 'yung ginawa nila Jessi. Nang masiguro na ayos na lahat, nagpakilala na ako. "Hello! Good evening. This is Skynote—we're a five-member band. Hindi lang naka-attend iyong another vocalist and bassist namin dahil may emergency. So, ayun. Sana po mag-enjoy kayo!" 

The customers gave us an applause before Jessi and I strummed our guitars. Sinabayan 'yun ni Lucky ng marahang keys sa keyboards niya. Humilig ako sa mic na nasa mic stand tsaka sinimulan ang pagkanta.

"Sandali na lang... Maaari bang pagbigyan." I continued strumming. "At aalis na nga... Maaari bang hawakan ang..." Guilbert started hitting the drums lightly. "...iyong mga kamay."

I continued singing as I watched the customers gently sway their heads while drinking. 

"Sana ay maabot ng langit ang iyong mga ngiti. Sana ay maisip..." I shut my eyes closed as I strum more. "Wag kang mag-alala. 'Di ko ipipilit sa 'yo. Kahit na lilipad ang isip ko'y torete sa'yo..."

We performed about 15 songs and extra 10 songs requested by customers. Nang matapos kaming mag-perform, bumuntot lang ako kay Lucky at Jessi papunta sa isang couch. Si Guilbert na pinaka social butterfly sa aming apat ay nag-gala na muna dahil may nakita siyang mga kakilala. 

Pumalit sa amin sa stage iyong DJ na regular daw dito. Ang lakas na ng music tapos nag-switch off na 'yung mga ilaw. Pumalit ang dim lights at iyong malilikot na neon lights. Medyo nahilo ako sa malilikot na ilaw kaya nagpaalam muna ako sa dalawa kong kasama na lalabas muna.

Maraming naninigarilyo paglabas ko kaya naglakad-lakad muna ako para hindi ko maamoy iyong usok. I don't really like cigarette's smoke. Ang baho.

When I was finally away from those smokers, I fished out my phone to see if Note replies to my latest message. Napanguso ako nang makita na wala pa rin. Is he sleeping already? Hindi man lang nag-goodnight...

I typed in a message but quickly stopped when I felt like someone's walking closer to me. I stiffened. Inalala ko agad 'yung mga natutunan kong self defenses sa youtube. My heart's not getting calmer. Dahan-dahan kong inilagay 'yung phone ko sa pouch. 

I gathered all my strength. Mabilis akong pumihit paharap. 

I gasped when I saw Note standing before me. He's grinning when our eyes met but it quickly faded when he saw the visible fear in my eyes. I exhaled a large amount of air, I was almost panting.

"Hey... did I scare you?" he asked softly. He stepped closer and held me both my shoulders. "I'm sorry. I wanted to surprise you but..." He bit his lips. "I'm sorry."

Nang makabawi ay hinampas ko na siya sa dibdib niya. "Nakakainis ka talaga!" Hinampas ko siya ulit. Hinayaan niya lang ako. "Bakit ka nandito? Ba't 'di ka nagsabi na pupunta ka? Hindi ka nag-reply sa text ko!"

"Sorry na," suyo niya. "Napa-aga iyong libing, e. Tingin ko naman maaabutan ko kayo rito kaya lumuwas kami agad."

Huminga ako ng malalim. 

"Sorry na," he raised both of his brows and gave me a soft smile.

Umirap ako. Kahinaan ko 'yung ganyang ngiti, e. Daya talaga nito.

"Oo na..." I sighed. "Kumain ka na ba?"

"Hindi pa... pero hingi muna 'ko isa, please," he said before spreading his arms open-wide. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. He pouted. "Dali na. Napagod ako sa byahe. Kailangan ko ng recharging."

I chuckled. "Makapagsalita ka, kala mo ikaw 'yung nag-drive." Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya tsaka iniyakap iyong braso ko sa baywang niya. I locked my hands on his back and leaned my cheek on his chest. "Ayan. Okay na ba?" 

He returned the hug. Marahan niyang hinahaplos 'yung buhok ko. I bit my lip. Sobrang nagwawala nang malakas iyong tibok ng puso ko. We stayed still quietly for awhile as we embrace each other. Hindi nakatulong iyong lamig ng hangin. Sobrang init na ng mukha ko. 

I sighed subtly.

"Nahihilo ako..." I said faintly. "Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko..."

"Akin yata 'yun." He laughed softly. "Naririnig mo ba 'yung tibok ng puso ko?"

I nodded slowly. Nakahilig lang ako sa kanya. Ramdam ko rin kung ga'no kabilis. Mas mabilis pa sa 'kin. 

"Ganyan kalala nararamdaman ko sa 'yo," he chuckled. 

My lips parted. Hindi na ako makahinga nang normal. "Ang lakas nga."

"Yeah. I love you, Skylah," he breathed. I felt his lips landing on my head. I smiled. Mas lalong lumakas 'yung tibok ng puso ko, pero mas malakas iyong kanya. He sighed. "Mahal kita. Mahal na talaga kita. Gagawin ko lahat para sa 'yo."

Hindi ako makapag-salita.

"Alam ko, maaga pa. Bata pa tayo. Kailangan nasa pag-aaral mo muna 'yung focus mo. Gusto ko lang malaman mo 'to. Ang lala ko na talaga pagdating sa 'yo," he laughed softly. Humigpit 'yung yakap ko sa kanya. He continues caressing my hair. "God. Dalawang linggo lang kitang 'di nakita, ganito na ako. You're making me so attached to you."

"A-ako rin naman..." I breathed.

"Hmm? Anong ikaw rin?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"N-na-miss din naman kita."

Tumingala ako para tignan siya. Bahagya rin siyang yumuko kaya nag-tama iyong tingin naming dalawa. He smiled genuinely. Pinatakan niya ng halik 'yung noo ko bago ako tinitigan nang mabuti. "Masyado mo na 'kong sinasanay. Hindi ko na kayang lumayo sa 'yo nang matagal, baka mabaliw ako. Baka hindi na kita pakawalan. I'll bug you in this lifetime. Humanda ka na."

I smiled and nodded. "Hindi ko na kailangan mag-handa, Note. I'll accept your offer."

He bit his lower lip to contain his smile. Napatingin ako roon.

"Naku po," he chuckled. "Patay talaga ako nito."

I grinned at him. Nanatili kami sa ganoong pwesto habang nag-uusap. It feels good to be locked up in his arms. It feels home.