Quinn POV

Harry asked me to meet him at the coffee shop near our parents house the following week. 

This past week has been okay. I haven't went back to my house since I left, and I don't know when I should or if I should. The thought of seeing Derek makes my stomach twist and my heart race in all the wrong ways. But, I know I have to go soon if I want my stuff, or if I want to see if my stuff is still there. 

I sit across Harry who's sipping his tea slowly and has his green eyes focused on me. "Is there a reason why you asked me here?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah," He answers while sitting up a bit. "I thought that now, I should kind of, you know, talk about what happened in the past." Harry says through a small ramble. 

"Okay." I say, not arguing the fact that he wants to talk about it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know. 

"So from the time when I got back to when I left for the three years, I wasn't in the best spot. I was actually in a pretty dark place, if I'm being honest." He starts.

I see his face change from smiley to serious. I also see how hard it is for him to speak about what happened. "I lost--Alyssa and Destiny back to back, and the year of being away was complete hell with the things I did when I was away and came back." 

I didn't know Destiny died. He never brought her up so I thought she was fine. 

"The biggest thing was losing Alyssa and I never grieved about it or handled it until I came back, which was the worst thing I did. I treated you like shit, my parents like shit, and my friends like shit. I was such a head case and basically a ticking bomb that when I tried to sign up for another four years they wouldn't let me. So when I started therapy when I came home since I was going through PTSD from being in the Marines to thinking about my little sister dying in front of me." 

As he speaks his eyes break away from mine and I see his body become tense. "Me ending us like you never mattered still hurts me because it was the worst thing that I did. I knew that when I left for three years I wouldn't be with you when I came back, just because I knew I turned into someone who I didn't even like. And I also believed that I wasn't the best thing for you. I really did wish I handled that differently, and if I could go back and change that I would." 

I let what he says sink into me before I speak. "So when you got better with therapy and all, you didn't want to try to be with me?" I manage to ask. 

His green eyes fall down to his cup and his fingers tap along the rounded sides. "Uh," Harry pauses which makes my heart begin to race. "I mean I did think about it, but I didn't want to pop back into your life. Plus when I went to therapy, around the one year mark, I met Wendy." His words cause my heart to drop.

I just nod, and sip my coffee. "How'd you meet?"

"She was seeing a different therapist in the office to talk about her Mom passing. And one day I was waiting and she was too, we started to talk, exchanged numbers, then three months later she was my girlfriend."

I feel like crying when I have no reason too. 

"I guess it all worked out then." I say with a weak smile. 

Harry's head tilts to the side by my words. "Not really, I never resolved anything with you." 

I shrug my shoulders and pick at my lower lip. "It's fine."

"No it's not Quinn. I could've at least reached out to you to talk about what happened with me." 

"Then why didn't you?" I ask, raising my eyebrow. 

"Because I still loved you then, and I didn't want to come back into your life when it was convenient for me. I wanted you to meet someone who made you happy, who treated you with respect. If I were to reach out to you years ago my heart would've wanted to fix us." 

My toes are curled in my shoes to help me push back any feelings I have. "Okay." I say.

"Okay?" He questions.

"What else should I say Harry?" I ask curiously.

"How you feel? I don't know, okay seems passive." He tells me. 

"When we became friends--or whatever I was broken from being with Richard and being raped at a party by David. Throughout us dating I've been at my best and worst. I'd be lying if I said I've gotten over everything that's happened with me. Now with Derek...the bad shit in my life keeps piling up so all I can say is okay." I say. 

"I've tried my best to help you with all of that." He says.

"Is you being there for me with what happened with Derek, a way for you to feel better with how you ended us?" I ask. 

Harry hesitates to answer which makes my eyes burn. "No, I want to be there for you because we're friends and I care about you." 

"I like the hesitation,"I mumble loudly, which causes him to hear me. "Thanks for explaining to me everything." I say while staring at my coffee cup and not the boy sitting across from me. 

"Can you look at me Quinn?" Harry asks. 

Just remembering what happened to me in high school and now makes me feel like shit. 

I look up and make eye contact with Harry. His eyes are soft and so are his facial features. "I'm sorry." 

"Okay." I say again.

He sighs and I go back to looking at my empty cup. "What are you thinking about?" He asks me.

"I don't know anymore." I say with a small huff.

My mind goes to Wendy and how he chose the girl who got her shit together rather than the girl who gets the negative outcomes. 

Harry opens his mouth to speak but I talk instead. "I gotta get to the office. Um, I'll talk to you later." I say while standing. 

I leave the coffee shop before he responds and before I break down. 

I was probably better off not knowing anything. 

A://N

hellooooooo

i go back to school tomorrow but i'm probably going to the gym before so i'll try to update at like 5 in the morning lmao 

comment goal: 50ish??

~lauren