B R E N

The rain had begun to pour, splashing against my Camry's windshield that night as I'd waited for word from Nessa. At least I was able to open my windows and stick my fists out, letting the rain wash the blood away from my knuckles.

It was hard to say if I'd broken any bones since everything in me seemed to hurt. But I didn't think so.

After Nessa texted that Madie was awake, I had pulled out of the hospital parking lot and headed back to campus. It only took me a few minutes to pack a few bags of my stuff, but then I sat there, staring at the door for hours. Beau wasn't around. I'd wondered if Nessa had talked to him.

I hadn't been able to bring myself to leave that night. As much as I wanted to get away, I couldn't drive out of the city with Madie in the condition that she was.

So I waited until the next afternoon when Nessa texted that Madie was up and asking to see me.

And then I hit the highway.

I was terrified of how much I cared for that girl. But there was traumatization, too. Madie came so close to the parts of my past that I'd tried to bury so deep. Coming to college was supposed to be my chance at starting over, and here I was, reliving things that were supposed to stay as memories.

I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be what Madie needed me to be. Because what scared me the most was that I would fail her.

Just like I'd failed my mom.

Honestly, Madie was better off without me now. She had Nessa and Beau, and her parents were on their way to Oakland to be with her. They would report Quinton, and he would go to jail. And hopefully, I wouldn't end up there beside him with assault charges.

I'd texted Caroline that I was on my way, and she was waiting by the front door when I arrived. The look on her face said it all, but she didn't utter a single word. She took my bags from my hands, her eyes lingering on my swollen knuckles. Then she set the luggage aside and made me sit down at the kitchen table to eat lasagna.

That was just the kind of woman that Caroline was. A select few people in this world would volunteer to foster a teenage boy with dead parents, but Caroline seemed to be someone made for the job. I wasn't even her foster kid anymore. I'd aged out of the system. Technically, I was alone. But Caroline had made sure I never felt that way.

She didn't bother me for days. Even when I did reckless things like selling my Camry to buy a '75 Mustang convertible. I sat in her garage tinkering with it for hours, letting my vinyls play on repeat. The same songs, over and over. There were equal parts comfort and pain in those melodies. And I couldn't decide between the two.

After a week, she found me.

I'd just finished patching up a screen on one of her front windows. I knew this house would need work when I came back. One of her pesky kittens had somehow made a massive hole with its tiny claws. Now that kitten—Hugo—was sitting in my lap as I perched on the front steps, smoking a cigarette.

Caroline lived in a historic neighborhood right outside of Fresno. Her house was outdated and a little messy, but it was also big and beautiful in that antique charm sort of way. Sometimes it felt more like home than where I'd grown up. I'd lived here longer than any of the temporary housing we moved between as a kid.

"Bren," Caroline said, coming to sit next to me, and I knew the silent period was over. She plucked the cigarette from between my fingers and tossed into onto the ground before stomping on it.

"Caroline," I said back, looking over at her. I was tempted to pull another cigarette out of my pocket, but I didn't want to push my luck.

"Tell me why you dropped out." She looked over at me, pushing her wispy bangs back from her face and squinting from the autumn sun. But I couldn't hold her gaze for too long.

"I didn't."

"You didn't?" She sounded surprised.

"I'm still enrolled," I mumbled. "I've been turning shit in."

She made a noncommittal sound. It wasn't quite judgment, but it wasn't exactly an acceptance either. "What about going to class?"

"I've learned that college isn't really about going to class, Caroline. It's about teaching yourself."

Even though I was staring at the concrete steps, I knew she was rolling her eyes. "And how is that going for your statistics class?"

"Oh that?" I glanced at her. "Yeah, that I dropped out of. I was failing it."

Caroline sighed. "Oh, Bren. The easiest person to give up on is often yourself. Don't do it."

I laughed harshly, without humor.

"Too late."

She ignored me.

"You didn't leave because of statistics, though. Did you?" She gave a pointed look at the bandage wrapped around my hand. My pinky was most likely broken, but I didn't care to go have it checked out. It wasn't like I had insurance to cover anything.

"No," I said.

When I didn't elaborate, Caroline waited quietly. But talking about what had happened made it seem too real. I was trying to forget Madie's ocean blue eyes and Quinton's stupid face. I didn't want to tell Caroline that I'd run away, and I definitely didn't want to explain what I'd run away from.

"Things just weren't going the way I'd planned," I finally said.

Caroline nodded once. "Are you going to make a new plan?"

I didn't respond right away because that idea scared me, too.

"Make a new plan, Bren." She stood. "And the plan can be going back, you know." Her last words to me were quiet. "Just go back different."

I frowned as she walked away.

After that conversation, another week passed. Caroline didn't ask me about my plan again, and to be honest, I didn't think about it much either. I poured almost all of my energy into the Mustang, finding broken parts and fixing them.

Fixing cars was easy.

Nessa texted me occasionally, letting me know that Madie was recovering. But despite Nessa's positive texts, worry festered. It had been two weeks, and Madie was still in the hospital.

I was afraid to reply to Nessa, though. And I didn't pick up when Beau called. Everything behind me was haunting, and I had nothing ahead, either. But Beau and Madie and Nessa would eventually forget about Bren Hadaway. I'd left a lot of places in my life, a lot of schools, teams, and people, and everyone always did. Everyone always forgot.

No one had certainly ever chased me down after I'd vanished.

But soon, I realized that no one was quite like Beau Martin.

"Get that cancer stick out of your mouth, man."

I'd been replacing the tires on the Mustang when his voice cut through the faint music I had on in the background. I whipped my head up. Beau strolled right into Caroline's garage, carrying a little drink carrier full of iced coffee or some shit. I couldn't see his eyes because they were covered with chrome aviators, but I saw the slight smirk on his mouth.

"What the hell are you doing here? How the fuck did you even find me?"

Beau didn't answer. He bent down and pinched the cigarette dangling between my lips. He tossed it to the ground, stomping on it just like Caroline had.

"They don't actually kill you," I said. "I've tried."

"Oh, shut it with all your emo crap," Beau snapped, surprising me. "Here, drink some bubble tea." He shoved a cup into my hands. Too dumbfounded to do anything else, I took it from him just as Caroline walked into the garage.

"The lovely Caroline!" Beau exclaimed. He walked toward her like he'd known her for years, a giant smile on his face. "I brought one for you, too."

Caroline grinned back, accepting the cup from Beau and taking the sip.

I slammed my bubble tea down onto the floor of the garage. "Does anyone want to tell me what is going on?"

"I had to talk to you," Beau shrugged. "You wouldn't pick up the goddamn phone. Until the other day when I saw you were calling me."

"It was me. You left your phone laying in the kitchen," Caroline added. "You really shouldn't use your birthday for your passcode, by the way."

I scowled at her, and she raised one of her hands in defense as the other held the bubble tea. "You were telling me nothing, Bren. I was worried."

Goddamn it. These two teaming up against me was honestly my worst nightmare. I looked at Beau.

"So you drove all the way here?"

"It's only like three hours." Beau shrugged. He pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. Then his eyes shifted around the garage before he moved them over me as I sat on the ground with grease stains covering my clothing. Finally, his gaze landed on my face.

"I had to talk to you about Madie, Bren."

🖤
I've honestly never had bubble tea. Is it any good?
Also this was another one of those things where I wrote a chapter and split it in two because it got long. So the next chapter is up now!
Xoxo