B R E N

It was the worst possible timing. It wasn't how I'd meant to tell her. I'd wanted to admit that it was half of what made me so scared about getting close to her. I hated the idea of drawing her into his path. But deciding to come here and be with Madie had been a choice between two dangers: Quinton and my father. And I'd needed to protect her from the more eminent one. 

Tonight, I had barely been able to do that. I couldn't make that mistake again.

Madie was dazed, and I didn't blame her. The house was cold, echoing our fears as we walked in. So I led her up the stairs to the bedroom, looking to find warmth. Pulling her into our little sanctuary, I immediately drew Madie into me, needing to simply hold the shit out of my girl. I knew she was softly crying on my shoulder—the good one—but that was fine. I might have been crying, too.

But then she mumbled, "You should leave me, Bren."

I jerked back, searching for her eyes even though the house was dark, and there were more shadows than colors. "Leave you?"

"You shouldn't be with me." She gazed at me beneath eyelids that were puffy and heavy.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I almost just got you killed!" she yelled, flinging her hands up in a sudden storm of emotion. "Oh my god, Bren." She covered her face in her hands, and her next words were a muffled truth that I knew all too well. "You almost died."

I clenched my jaw and reached out to push her hands away, cradling her sweet face between my two palms. Every movement stung, irritating the open wound in my shoulder. But it reminded me that I was alive. For some reason, I was alive.

"I don't fucking care, Madie. Don't you get it?" I gave her a little shake because she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes flicked upward, and it was just the two of us. And we were drowning, but we were breathing. And we were burning, but we were living. A tear trickled down her cheek, and I wiped it away with my thumb. My throat was like gravel, and I tried to clear it. But it was no use. I needed her to hear me, though, so I said what I needed to anyway. "I would die for you. I love you."

"Don't," she cried, striking at my chest, trying to push me away. But I held on.

"Don't love you?" I asked, incredulity leaking into my words. "That's impossible."

"No, you idiot." More tears ran down her face, and I couldn't catch them all. "Don't die for me!" She pushed at my chest again, but it was weaker this time. "I need you to fucking live for me, Bren." Her hand flew up once more, and I caught it, holding her close. "Live for me because I need you," she gasped. "Because I love you."

I didn't know what to say to that—my breath stolen by her confession—so I wrenched her into me and kissed her.

And hell, she'd been ready for me.

There was fire in the way she kissed me back, her tongue diving in to dance with mine. Her hands didn't wind around my neck and tangle into my hair like usual. No, she tugged free of that grasp I had on her wrist so she could slip her touch beneath my shirt and claw at my bare chest. I broke away from her to whip my shirt over my head, ignoring the pain in my shoulder. Nothing would hurt more than not being with her right now, skin-to-skin.

Madie flung off her ripped sundress, but I got to her bra before she did. Unclasping it, I let it slide to the floor so I could slam her into me again. I needed to feel her. And then we were kissing again, tongues battling as we undressed each other with shaky fingers that wouldn't work as quickly as we'd like them to.

Something cold hit my chest, and I realized it was the gun that Madie had pulled from pants. I flung it on the couch, not wanting the reminder right now.

And then I went back to her body, sliding my hands down her soft skin until I was tugging on her underwear. And I decided I just couldn't do it anymore. I ripped that fucking lace off, throwing it to the ground. Then I kicked out of my pants and briefs—which had been pulled to my ankles—and carried a naked Madie to the bed, her legs circling my hips as she continued her raw assault on my mouth.

She wasn't the only one who needed something uncontrolled, though. I bit her bottom lip as I walked, pulling it away and sucking on it because lord, she tasted good. I devoured her, and I didn't hold back.

Letting her lip slide out from between my own, I breathed in her sharp gasp. "Live for me, Bren," she demanded as she tugged on my hair. We collapsed onto the bed, both of our heads hitting the pillows. Madie looked into my eyes. I looked back. Sneaking my hand between her cheek and her pillow, I held her face. There wasn't anything in the world as beautiful as her.

"I love you," she said again, and I still didn't know how to reply. So I used my other hand to pull her body into mine, marveling at the way her breasts molded to my chest. I was in awe at how her leg fit perfectly atop my hip as she wrapped around me. I was slowly dying from her hands as they slowly traced and clawed at my back muscles.

But I wasn't dying. I was living.

"Shit," I groaned, "I love you so much, Madie."

I kissed the shit out of her again. I found those red marks on her neck and her shoulder and her arm, lavishing them beneath my mouth, trying to make everything disappear. Meanwhile, my hard dick teased between her legs, causing Madie to make whimpering noises as she circled her leg tighter around me.

"Condom," I mumbled between kisses, somehow remembering despite the wetness coating my erection. I was dying to be drenched. I was dying to drown. But only in her. Only ever her. "I need to be inside you."

Madie shook her head. "No condom. I have an IUD. I want to feel all of you, Bren. Please."

Fuck, Madie without barriers. God, if I had known...I shook the thought away. She probably wasn't ready to leave that extra protection behind before, not after what had happened to her with that raging asshole.

I didn't need to be asked twice. Grabbing her ass, I pulled her closer so I could slide in. And I'd never in my life felt anything like it. She was wet and hot and completely surrounding me, reminding me of what it could be like to feel something good, something so fucking good. 

"Bren!" She clutched my upper arm, tipping her head back as I stroked deeper. I was still cupping her face, and I was about to urge her to look at me again when Madie lowered her gaze. And that pained expression startled me. "You told me," she accused lowly, her eyes drilling holes into me. "You told me you wouldn't leave me."

"I—"

"No," she cried, gripping me as I pushed further, as far as I could go. "You were going to. You were saying goodbye." She bowed her head toward mine, letting loose a groaning plea as she rocked her hips into me. And the way she slammed into me was nearly my undoing. "Fucking live for me, Bren."

"I'm here, Madie." I dug my fingers into her ass, trapping her in my hold. If there was a way for us to get closer, I would find it. I would drag her in and keep her there until we were one.

"I promise I'm here. I'm alive. I'm with you, baby. Do you feel me?" I was so lost in her now, I didn't know how she couldn't. I'd never been this deep, never known such devastating pleasure. I thrust inside again, just in case she needed the reminder that I was fucking here.

My name flew from her lips. Her eyes rolled back.

"Oh god, Madie." I found her lips, kissing them in desperation. "Do you feel me everywhere?" I moaned into her mouth, needing her reply.

"Yes," she gasped. She slid her fingers down to my wrist, circling it so she could bring my hand to her chest, squeezing it between our flush bodies. "Everywhere, Bren. But mostly..." She pressed my palm right above her breast, right where her heart was beating. "Here. Because I love you," she whispered, her breathing harsh and uneven. "Do you feel me?"

I'd been so busy being consumed by how I loved her, that I hadn't stopped to feel her love. I never thought I could be loved like this. But I felt her heart beating, and I felt her pulse as I stroked her. And I felt her, all of her. I felt her body and her heart and her soul.

And her love, I felt her love.

"Everywhere," I growled as I captured her lips again.

We let go of everything as we bucked our hips, our lips colliding as we fell. Ragged breaths exchanged, eyes melting in the heat, fingers digging into skin—and all because we kept trying to get even fucking closer, deeper. I wasn't ready to finish. I wanted this forever.

But then Madie cried, "Come inside me, Bren."

Oh, fuck.

"Now," she demanded.

Her name was the only thing on my lips as I clutched her to me and shook with my release.

We had started a fire. But it wasn't just a fire anymore. It was a wildfire. Because Madie's face as she came was raw and uncontrolled and gasping for air.

I tried to pull away as we both came down from our high. She wouldn't let me. She wasn't ready this time. So we stayed there, tangled and sweaty.

Madie trailed her finger down the side of my face as I tried to rein in my panting. The moon was hitting her just perfectly, and for a minute, it was hard to believe she was real. She glowed in the light of darkness. I wondered if maybe this was actually heaven.

"Live for me, Bren Hadaway," she whispered, her voice a caress on my face that told me everything was real.

I caught her hand as it began to trail down my neck. I brought it to my mouth, planting a kiss on her palm. "I would do anything for you."

Tomorrow we would leave. We would have to. I didn't care if Quinton had been arrested. I'd turned Madie's phone off before we got in the car so he couldn't track her. But he already knew where the beach house was.

Tomorrow we would leave. We would leave this place where we'd found ourselves. But for tonight, we would stay here in this bed—this bed where we'd found each other.

When my pulse had finally slowed, I moved in closer to her. I nudged her nose, kissing it softly. "I love you."

I was trying to make up for my roughness earlier, brushing my lips along the places I'd nipped, the places I'd pressed bruising kisses.

But Madie sighed into my caresses and then lifted my chin so she could attach her mouth to mine again. It wasn't done softly, either.

She clenched around me, drawing my dick in again. Holy hell, this girl.

"More?" I murmured.

Madie broke our kiss. She touched my shoulder, tracing the outline of the bandage. Gazing over at me, she caught my eyes as I hardened inside her again, ready. I had quickly learned that I was always ready for Madie. I was ready in ways I'd never experienced before. She must have felt it. Her eyes flared.

"More."

Her fingers left the bandage. Blood had seeped to the edges, but I hadn't felt any pain.

That bullet tonight might have just graced my shoulder, but that shot killed me. It killed the part of me that was ready to die.

Because god, I was going to live for this girl. I was going to live for Madie Lenertz.

Which meant I had some business to deal with.

And he went by the name of Luke Hadaway.

🖤
I'm not crying, you are.

xoxo amelie