It Started With: An Inspiration 

"People get hurt, not because they wanted to be, but because they didn't have a choice"

I sighed after reading the last sentence of the chapter that I was reading in one of my books for the past few days. Is it really that bad? I mean love...is it really that bad? I've read about it a couple of times, but is it much worse in real life? You might be wondering why I described it as 'worse', well...the books that I've been reading doesn't really end in a happy ending. Yes, at first it's all sunshine and rainbows, but what happens if all of that turn into rainy dark clouds and thunder? Love sounds great...but are people really that stupid to risk so much?

"Hey Danny?"

Guess I'll never know. 

I heard mom called before opening the door slightly, when she saw that I was on the bed, she opened it wider then smiles at me. I smiled back as I sat up properly and placed my book on top of my bedside drawer. 

"What's up?"

"My best friend, Jenna, is coming over," her smile widened, it's like she got excited just by thinking about it. 

Jenna. Yeah I heard of her. From what I can remember, she lives in Canada. Apparently, she and my mom had been besties for the past twenty years now. Gotta admit, that's the kind of  friendship I wanted to have.Knowing that a few years from now, there would always be somebody that you can hold on to. Somebody that you can share you deepest secretes with.

But the odds were never in my favor.   

"Yeah what about it mom?" I asked, pulling the sheets further up my chest, feeling the cold air get through the sheets. 

"She's bringing her nephew," She smirked. I saw her eyes glimmer, like she has a plan that I didn't know about. 

"So?" 

"So?...You'll have a friend to accompany you, duh? Plus you really need to get out of the house, you're too pale" she answered, her voice being happy and giddy.

I chuckled, "Mom, you really need to stop this kind of teasing. You know that it wouldn't work out anyway. So why bother?" 

The atmosphere grew quiet, and gloomy after I said that. I wanted to reassure her that I was only joking, but it was too late when I saw her eyes turned sad and teary. I didn't want her to feel this kind of emotion. I didn't want to put much pressure on her. It kills me, but... we all know what's going to happen. 

"Honey..." she showed me her sad smile as she took my hands and enveloped it with hers. 

I shook my head, " No, Mom. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, hon. I just want you to live your life to the fullest. I want you to have that." she said before kissing my forehead and walked for the door. She took a last look at me before opening the door and left. 

I inhaled deeply and rested my back on the head board. I love her, and I can't stand watching her being sad and tired because of me. 

A lot can happen in a year. In five years. In ten. But the thing is, we won't know what would come and what would go during those times. For once, I want to go out of the house without any problems, without the fear of being choked by myself. I want a lot of things, and sooner or later I'll have them in my own accord. I'll try to do better, and maybe one day I'll be happier. 

It would take a lot of time and strength, but I know that I can do it. My Mom's here for me, and that's the only thing that keeps me motivated and inspired to try and keep going. 

For others, life might seem tough and torturous, but for me...It's not that bad. 

I'll keep going. I'll try harder. I'll be better.