"The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, pain. We risk being acted up on by forces outside our control." — Bell Hooks
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Chapter 89
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Luke

Maggie was shot.

The very realization hit me as hard as she did when she saw the bullet coming for me.

The one that she took.

Through the shock, the only thing that I could muster was, "Maggie..."

Something heavy settled in my stomach, like the heaviest anchor of all time was stuck inside. My skin would have gone cold had the warm blood not hit it.

Maggie's blood.

My gaze raised at the same time that she stumbled back. Her hands went to her stomach, where the blood was dressing through the white of her tank top.

Her eyes raised to mine. Just as they lowered to her stomach, again, her body wavered from under her.

Before she could hit the ground, I caught her and gently lowered the both of us to the floor so that I was kneeling to her side. "Maggie, hey," my voice trembled as I placed the gun down to get to her.

Her emerald eyes found mine, the shock making them brighter. "I'm shot." My head bobbed until I thought the limb tore from my body. "You are, but it doesn't matter, because you're going to be okay."

"I'm shot," she repeated in a murmur, but I barely heard it past the drum of my heartbeat in my ears. Her voice sounded shocked. Sad. Scared.

It terrified me.

I met her eyes and pretended otherwise."It'll be a story we laugh about later on, won't it be?"

I needed to stop the bleeding.

Through shaky hands, I grabbed the material of my shirt to tear it off, then did the same to her tank as gentle as I could.

When I saw the wound, my heart dropped.

She was losing too much blood. Way too much blood.

The only good I found was that the blood was dark, not bright. The bullet hadn't hit a major artery, but it didn't lessen the weight in my heart.

I didn't know if the bullet was still inside or if it went straight through. All I knew was that she was losing too much fucking blood.

"Luke," I heard Maggie whisper out. When I looked at her, I saw her taking notice of the blood and having the realization that I wouldn't dare let become reality. "I-I don't think I'll have a later—"

"Don't say that, Maggie." My voice was hard, despite the tremble of my throat.

Think. Fucking think, Luke.

I couldn't get her to the car like this. There was too much of a chance that moving her would only increase the blood loss, even with my speeding to the hospital. There were too many possibilities that could take her away from me, and I wouldn't risk—

Fuck. Okay. The ambulance is on the way.

I needed to put pressure on the wound.

With the piece from my shirt, I pressed that, as well as my hands to her stomach until the skin wallowed from under them.

At her sharp, painful gasp, guilt hit me in the stomach. I wanted to beat my own ass for causing it.

"I know, baby, I know," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I know it hurts; I'm sorry. I have to keep pressure on it."

Her small nod was barely visible. The only thing that my vision was allowing in was the sight of the blood on her pretty skin.

"You're going to be okay, you hear me?" I forced my gaze away from the blood, but the image was marked like a nightmare in my head, already. "You're going to be fine."

"Luke," my name came as a rasp from her, and I never hated it more. I never hated the universe, the present, and every fucking thing else more than I did, right now.

I knew what she was going to say. I wasn't going to hear it. I wouldn't.

I cursed myself before returning the same pressure to her stomach, her hiss like a knife to my heart. Just the thought of hurting her in any way gutted me, but I knew I'd have to keep it up until help came.

Maggie's small hand raised to my jaw, the softness a contrast to the clenched bone. "Luke."

"No." I just had to control the bleeding until paramedics came. Then, she'd be fine. She would be—

"Luke," her voice was fragile and carefully used. As if she knew she were about to run out of it. "I'm sorry."

I risked a glance at her that was meant to be short, but the moment we caught eyes, I couldn't break the connection. Hers were glistening with tears, and behind the sparkly sheet, there was a mirror of her heart.

"I need you to..." I didn't even realize how thick the words had gotten until I tried getting them out. "I just need you to stay awake, okay?" Please. God, please. Please.

Maggie tried to muster a chuckle that only ended up as nothing. "I thought I told you to stop telling me what to do, pretty boy—" My eyes flickered over to her face at the same time that her hand fell from my jaw. Her eyes fluttered for just a second before she managed to find me, again. I knew what that meant.

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

I averted my gaze elsewhere to avoid her face. I couldn't handle it.

"I'm so sorry for everything I said to you that day, Luke," she whispered, but her voice didn't feel like hers. Not under the circumstances. It wasn't my baby's. "I didn't mean one word of it—"

I moved my glare back to her stomach. "I know, I know you didn't, angel. We can talk about it when help comes, okay?"

Pain crushed me from the inside out at the tremble of her body from under my hands. Maybe it was my own.

"I didn't...I couldn't look you in the eye for a reason, Luke." Her eyes were calling for mine, but I remained still. My heart didn't, though. "I loved you too much to ever say, even as a lie, that I didn't." Her fingers rested on my jaw. "I love you." She turned me so that I was being forced to look at her paling face, the lost sight I caught before my eyes fell. "I'll always love you, Luke. Always."

Fuck.

I wasn't doing this. I can't fucking do this. I can't.

"Look at me, Luke." Her voice broke, making me think my ears were bleeding from how hard it was to hear it. "I only wanna see you when I—"

"No." The splinters in my heart turned to full on jabs at what she was implying. "When nothing, Maggie...nothing, okay?"

I wanted to lift my hand to stroke her face like I always did to comfort my love, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't, and it was fucking killing me.

The front door creaked open from behind us. I didn't react.

"Vaudest!"

I couldn't respond.

"Silent treatment, huh? That's how you do your brothers now?" Levi chuckled, stepping inside. "We even bought you your favorite beer. The fancy shit." Another set of footsteps followed up behind him, with Kade's voice, "And since you can never answer my calls, remind me to buy you a new phone, too."

Their feet and words alike halted right behind Maggie and I. Their energies shifted with their curses, heard through the pounding blood in my ears.

All I could get out was, "Help me," I hissed in no particular direction before it turned into a yell, "Fucking help me!"

The both of them caught up then, and Kade was the first one to reach us, kneeling on the other side of Maggie. "Have you called an ambulance, yet?"

Did I? I did. Or, maybe I didn't.

I couldn't think.

"Yes..." I nodded before I stopped myself. "No..." I shook my head, feeling the nerves catch up to me. "I-I don't know."

Levi moved to my side, quickly. I heard the dial of his phone. "I'm calling them, right now."

"I can get her to my car," Kade said, already reaching for Maggie with gentle hands. "We can  drift right through traffic, get her to the—"

Levi shook his head, quickly dialing. "It's too much to risk. We can't move her, right now. She's losing too much blood and if something happens on the road, we might not be able to stop it." A hand fell to Maggie's, a reassuring smile on as he squeezed. "You're gonna be fine, Maggie, okay?" Her nod was slow, only furthering Levi's smile. "When you're feeling better, I promise we'll all take you out for ice cream so that you and I can trade bullet scar stories, okay?"

I glanced to Maggie, but the what I caught made my heart stutter.

Her breaths. They were getting shorter. Choppier.

A panic of no other settled in my bones until it found a home. It didn't take long to spread to my lungs, then my heart. All of the very things that only carried on for the woman in front of me.

"Shit." Kade removed his jacket, his expression full of concern. "She's starting to shake. She could go into shock if we don't try to keep her warm."

Maggie let out a ghost of a chuckle, making my heart clench at her attempt of reassurance. "You know I'm going to get it all bloody right—"

Kade scowled, "I don't give a damn about a jacket, Maggie. Don't move; I don't wanna hurt you." Careful with her stomach, he tucked the jacket over her body until both that and my hands were covered. "Keep this on her and make sure you're keeping pressure."

I nodded, maintaining the tightness of my hands while Levi murmured, "They already had an ambulance dispatched here, but they're speeding it up, now. They'll be here in ten minutes."

Ten minutes. Six-hundred seconds.

Any of those could be Maggie's last.

Kade pursed his lips as he rearranged the jacket on Maggie to make sure that she was warm. "I'll run and tell security to open the gates so that the ambulance can head straight to you, okay?"

I didn't give a response. The longer I stared at Maggie, who was barely managing to keep her eyes open, I couldn't...

"Hey." Kade's hand went to my tensed shoulder. "Look at me, Luke." He nodded back at me, squeezing my shoulder. "She's gonna be okay. You'll both be okay. Got it?"

I managed a nod, but it was barely even that.

His gaze fell to Maggie with a nod, something she returned with a small smile. Kade disappeared through the door, leaving Levi and I alone with Maggie.

He went to her side. "Did the bullet go straight through?"

"I-I don't know," I forced out. "I don't know. Should I check?"

"No, she'll lose more blood if we move her, now. I don't wanna risk it." Moving closer, he grabbed her free hand, his brows furrowing down at her. "We need you to stay awake, Maggie, okay? I know it'll be hard but just keep listening to Luke's annoying voice, okay?"

At her nod, he gave an encouraging smile, then dropped it when he looked to me with assurance. "Keep talking to her, okay? I'll get the bodies moved out of the way so that the paramedics can get to her right away."

My head bobbed. Maggie gave a weak thanks to him, then moved her gaze to me. I'd never been so startled by it, before.

Her shaky hand was weak against my face, but it managed to turn me to her, anyway. My lungs weakened at the sight of her. Both of us were covered in blood, and fuck knows what else, yet not a dime of beauty had left her.

I couldn't take it. Just the thought of never seeing it, again...

"Hey, Palce," she called out. "Guess what?"

I couldn't respond.

"I kept my bracelet on. Just for you." Her eyes fell to her wrist, one that was marked with blood, and what looked like cuts from glass. The black and white beads were untouched, somehow. "Do you remember what I told you to do?"

All I could give was a quiet, "Don't do this, Maggie."

My emotions were in a whirlpool, and I could barely settle on one was worst than the rest. Anger. So much anger filled my lungs that I could barely breathe without smoke following.

"Why did you jump in front of me, damn it," I hissed, frustrated at her stubbornness, at my stupidness, at every goddamned thing that led up to this moment. "Why couldn't you stay still? Why didn't you let me take the bullet? Why..." I couldn't finish before my throat swelled.

It wasn't right. None of this was. I should have taken the bullet, not her. God, not her.

Even in this condition, she rolled her eyes, and it brought me hope. It brought me something. Her attitude was still intact, and that meant that everything else could be, too. Maybe. "I'd do it all over, again."

My expression fell, despite how hard I tried to keep it up. There was nothing but honesty in those six words.

"Luke." A trembling smile grasped her paling lips. "I love you."

"If you love me..." I let out a breath that didn't fix a thing of tightness in my chest. "Then, don't do this," I pleaded, the irritation behind my eyes growing. "Don't do this, Maggie."

Her hand went to mine, which were still on her stomach.

"You..." she swallowed hard, coming back up with the smile of an angel. "Fuck, I can't even tell you what you did, Luke. How you changed my life. How you made me want me want it. How you were every single good I never believed in." Her expression deepened with love until it reflected in her eyes. They ran me over as a whole, and when they returned to mine, that love intensified. "You gave me life, Luke."

"Then, live it." Tears rushed to my eyes as I begged in a way that never, in my twenty years of life, had I begged before, "Live it with me. Please live it with me, Maggie."

"I think I already have," she whispered back. "You made it impossible not to love you in life, so I know, without a doubt, that I'll only be loving you even more in death. Getting the chance to do either one was the biggest privilege and the biggest blessing of my life."

Four hundred and twenty one seconds.

"You won't have to." My everything was falling right along with the seconds. "I won't..." I tried to keep my voice steady. "I won't let you, Maggie. Not like this."

I pressed down harder on her stomach, but it didn't take away the growing spread of blood around her body.

"Look at me." The sternness in her voice was laced with desperation. She knew it was the only one I would listen to. "Look me in the eye right now, Luke."

The first tear slipped down my jaw that was stuck in a clench. "I can't," I whispered, my insides burning. "I can't, Maggie."

"I love you." Her voice was so faint, it pricked my ears with the reasoning behind it. "You don't...you can't forget that. I'll make sure to remind you of that every single second of every single day, even through that stubborn skull of yours. I promise."

I knew what she was doing. She was trying to calm me, to reassure me. She had no idea. I couldn't do it without her.

This was a nightmare. It had to be a fucking nightmare.

"Luke." No.

I squeezed my eyes shut as the pain jabbed at me from the inside out. Each word, each breath, and each look that she gave me felt like a goodbye.

It was something that I couldn't accept from her. My mind wouldn't let me. It was hilarious to even consider my heart doing so.

Her attempt at a laugh made my eyes squeeze even tighter. "Come on, smartass. You know what to do."

I wouldn't know a thing if she was gone.

"No." Another tear burned my cheek. "Don't..." I sniffled, my head shaking. "Please don't make me."

"I love you," she repeated softly. "All parts of you. The ones you call bad. The ones you call good. There's no difference, because if they come from you, then they're all mine and they're perfect to me. You're perfect to me." My heart was being squeezed with every single word she giving me. I wasn't sure of how much more it could take. How dare she claim that of me when she was right here, as perfect as can be without even trying? Her sniffles were soft, and it matched her next words, "I love you even more, because of them, Luke."

When I looked at her, I knew the next demand she was going to make because it was one I was already planning to make myself.

The truth spilled from my lips like a prayer, "I love you." Out of all of the times those words and the feelings behind them, this was the one where I fretted voicing it.

My lips touched hers, and they made the most perfect puzzle. The salty taste of our tears mixed in, but I couldn't taste them past her sweetness. All I could concentrate on was her.

Maggie's whimper was light, and it crawled down my throat until mine gave a sigh in return. My skin, already hot and red, blazed hot the moment we pulled back, our lips still grazing.

"You're going to be okay," I whispered against them past burning lungs. "I promise you're going to be okay, angel. I promise." Her smile said otherwise, but I wouldn't listen to it. "We're going to wake up together, sleep together, be together. Get our apartment. We're going to go on dates. We're going to raise Fang together. We're going to watch and read Harry Potter together, a million times over, and eat weird food every single night. W-we're—" My voice quivered before I could stop it.

All I wanted was us. Those things. Her.

"You're going to be okay," she returned. I didn't even know a voice could be light with a heavy, firm tone until hers. "I know you are."

Her hand curled up my arm until she got to the back of my neck, stroking through my nape of curls since she knew it was my favorite. It always calmed me down or put me to sleep.

My chest cracked right in half at it, rather than provide reassurance. She was the one who made that spot my favorite, because it was being given by her. My love.

"You're worth everything in this world, you know that?" At my weakened nod, she shook her head. "Say it, Luke."

A thousand blades might as well have pierced my tongue. "I-I'm...I was worth—"

"No. Present tense." At the feel of her fingers against my neck, the tears only built in my eyes. "You're worth everything, Luke."

"I'm worth everything," I managed to get out before the most honest thing tore from my heart, "You are my everything, Maggie. You can't...I can't—"

Her eyes watered up. We were both breaking, and the universe, the same fucking universe that always bullshitted us wasn't giving us the opportunity to put each other back together the way we needed it.

Maggie tried anyway. She held her tears back in order to try and console mine, but it was a lost cause.

"You, the strongest, most stubborn and beautiful man in the world, are all mine, Luke. That's how I know you'll be okay," she said as steadily as she could through the weakness of her body, "You're going to finish your building. You're going to—"

"I can't," I whispered out, my chest dragging under a breath that didn't even matter. I couldn't breathe anymore. I didn't want to without her. "I won't—"

He eyes fluttered for a moment too long before she got it under control. "You will."

"I can't. Not without you." I couldn't even fucking breathe without her. Anything else was nothing without my everything at my side. That promise hadn't changed this entire time; it never would.

"Do it for me." She leaned up just enough to peck my lips, setting them on a path of fire and only cooling it when she whispered, "Do it all for me, okay?"

I would do anything in this fucking world for her, and she knew that. She knew it.

But, this? This was asking me to carry on without my very reason to carry on.

A body without a heart. A mind without a brain. A soul without its half.

Me without Maggie. A life without a reason to love it.

Three hundred seconds.

My lungs nearly regained their air at the sound of footsteps closing in on us, but it quickly disappeared when I didn't hear sirens behind it.

In the corner of my eye, I caught Kade coming closer.

"The gates are open," he said, kneeling to tighten the jacket around Maggie again since I couldn't move my hands. "They'll be able to get her in quickly."

Maggie's dazed eyes fluttered over to him as she smiled. "Make sure to...to treat Kimberly like a princess, okay?"

A softer gaze went to her. "It's good as shit you'll be around to see me do exactly that, then." He smiled down at her, small but still one nonetheless. "When you're feeling better, I'll even let you use that right hook on me again, if I don't meet your expectations. Promise."

Her expression said otherwise, and it fucking killed me. Just when she replied, two more sets of footsteps took over.

The girls were calling out to Maggie in cheers. They didn't realize what they were about to see. I didn't have the strength to warn them.

"Maggie, we brought your favorite!" Raven announced, and Kimberly's following with, "Jax is even bringing you and Luke some of the—"

I knew they rounded the corner to the living room at their gasps of shock, and probably terror at the sight of not only the house and the other men, but at Maggie. "Oh my god..."

Kade's head shot up, concern sinking his expression, "Baby, you and Raven need to go and get back in my car, alright?"

Maggie squeezed my hand. "Luke." Her eyes were barely even open, anymore, so her head lolled in either direction to catch our attention. "Kade."

Before we turned to her, Kade called to Kimberly again, "Sweetheart, go, okay? Please." By his frustrated sigh, I knew she hadn't listened.

"Make sure to tell them that I love them, okay?" Maggie whispered out, and through the cracks, there was desperation on her side to keep this image out of their heads. "But don't let them see this. Please don't let them."

"What...what happened?" Raven whispered, stumbling as she started to edge even closer to us. Kimberly followed up, her skin blanched and trembling until Kade's demand shook through the house, "Kimberly, get back in the car!"

I couldn't move. A part of me didn't want to. If she doesn't stay for me, then maybe she can stay for them.

I just want her to stay.

Kade left his spot to get the girls back out, his arms wrapping around Kimberly to move her and Raven. Their cries were already starting to blossom, but before they got too close, I forced myself to cover Maggie from their view like she wanted.

Levi, who had just finished clearing the bodies from the doorway, moved past my shoulder to go back out to Raven. Just as he walked out, another body was replacing him.

Jax, who was holding a dish of food, stumbled at the sight of his sister. His grin slipped at the same time that the glass dish did.

The girls must have told him about the party and invited him. I knew though, like me, he had never expected this instead. Never.

"Oh my god..." he whispered. "Maggie." Widened eyes scanned the room over, and when he got to their father's body,, the biggest mix of emotions flushed over his expression.

"What..." Then, he looked to Maggie. I'd never seen true conflict until the realization click in his head. At a paranormal speed, he rushed over until he was in front of his sister. "Maggie, what...what happened?"

"I don't mean to get that little brain of yours working so hard, but..." A small laugh from Maggie never really become a laugh because of how badly her body was weakening. "I've been shot, dingus."

I drowned out everything while they talked. I didn't have a choice. My mind was shutting and locking down any other possible thing that didn't involve Maggie making it out of this alive.

The ambulance was taking too long. Moving her was too risky. The life was slipping from her, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Even through the negative thoughts, my heart only truly stopped when I heard Maggie's next words to her brother.

"Now. You're gonna get up," she whispered to him. "You're gonna turn around. And you're gonna walk out."

"What, no..." Jax shook his head, his eyes widening at her demand. Instead of listening, he leaned over her. "No—"

"Yes," she argued back, her tears tearing through, "Yes, you are. Right now, Jax."

"No." His tears grew as he leaned up, his hand going to her cheeks. "Maggie, I-I can't." He shook his head, again. "I won't. You're my sister. My sister, and you expect me to just leave you—"

"You've never left me, and you aren't leaving me right now, either." Maggie bit into her trembling lip, shutting her eyes as another shudder hit her. "And you're my brother. The best, most selfless, loving, and caring brother in the whole fucking world, and I know that if I let you see this, if I let you see me..." The tears built on either side as they pressed their foreheads together. "Jax, I won't and you won't. Please."

I knew what she was doing. She didn't want him to see her...

Fuck.

My hands on her stomach wavered, my vision not taking long to follow.

Jax shut his eyes, battling with himself as he murmured his disagreement. Their tears merged in a way that not all siblings, but only a set who came into the world together could muster. But like me, he couldn't argue with her right now.

Maggie's hand trembled as she squeezed his. Jax was a ghost, barely capable of moving. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, then the side of her head, staying there for so long, his eyes shut.

Just as he leaned up, I heard Maggie say the words that left me rigid. "I love you, Jax." Her kiss was weak against his head. "I love you. Always."

Jax and I met eyes. Our shock matched the others.

She had always said the opposite in response to his I love you's. If she was saying that she loved him, now, it was because she realized, she had accepted that...

No.

"I love you," Jax croaked, stroking her hair away from her face. Despair darkened his features as he choked on a sob. "I love you so much, Mags. Nothing ever changed that, okay?" He kissed her head again, but his cries broke him down all over, again. "You'll be okay. You'll get better. I-I know it. I do. You always have. And I'll be loving you while you do." His words started to tangle together as he crumbled into her neck again. "I'm so, so sorry, Maggie."

One hundred and twenty seconds.

One hundred and nineteen. Eighteen. Seventeen.

Maggie whispered something else to her brother that ripped his expression in half until there was nothing but pain left behind. I could feel it, breathe it, and fucking hate it.

Shutting his eyes, he stumbled before finally raising himself up. His tearful eyes lingered on her before she nodded at him.

Through her own tears, she tried to send her courage through a smile. "Go, okay?"

Even then, he remained still, breaking into pieces.

When he turned, my heart fell so hard. He was leaving. Why was he leaving?

Why was everyone giving up so fucking easily?

"Luke." Her breath weakened with, "Come here, love. Please."

My body moved to her command. I leaned over her, and when she tilted her head, I knew what she was asking for and what I wanted to give.

"I love you. Thank you for..." her voice weakened under her before she managed, "Thank you for giving me the biggest gift of my life for letting me," she said, squeezing my hand from under the jacket with the faintest grip. "Thank you for letting me always be yours."

My heart ran from my chest the longer I stared down at her. The words she had given me were only adding to the frantic beat.

My own were given over the most honest platform I'd ever stood from, "You'll always be mine, and I'll forever be yours. Each others. Always."

It was an oath that the universe had tied between us the moment we were introduced into it. It was the one that saved me when I didn't even want to or see why I should, be saved. It taught me the true meaning of 'better', in every single way and situation, by giving me my perfect. Maggie.

She said that I gave her life, when in truth, her life, her heart, her was the very source and reason of everything that I am. She was the one who made me believe in life by simply coming into mine. Love had simply been a four letter word that I had sworn rejection to until Maggie came in. And dear god, the girl had made those beliefs burn to ash the moment she set her spark off inside of me.

Now, my heart had her name scribbled in every nook and cranny until it was covered. The ink used still hadn't dried, even after all this time, because it's intention was clear.

The name. The girl. My miracle who gave me life, and who gave my heart a reason to beat. It only did it for her. There was no erasing or forgetting that.

I squeezed her hand back to give her my own energy. My words were just between the two of us, since the meaning behind them was, too, "I love you, Maggie."

Her eyes glimmered back at me, like a mirror to mine. Then, the room faded to nothingness as we both caught the others next intention without having to voice it.

Our lips pressed against the others until there was no space left between us. The moment our lips grazed, I thought my knees were giving out, despite already being on them for her, both physically and emotionally.

Her own were slow, so I took the pace for her, which only built the passion in hers. I gave it my all until I couldn't.

The heat that only her kiss could bring to my body made my skin want to melt off, and I'd go willingly. My blood had the most strongest current of electricity in it, and it only gave me more energy.

I raised my head when I heard the yell, "The sirens are getting closer!"

Ninety seconds.

For the first time since I realized the bullet hit Maggie, some type of relief came from this.

A small smile grazed my lips to give off to her.

"You hear that, Norris?" I moved my eyes to her, my mind lighting up at the thought of her face again. "You're going to be fine, just like I told you. I'll make sure to rub it in your face all year long—"

My body grew rigid at the sight in front of me.

Her eyes were shut, but the trail of tears hadn't dried over her cheeks yet. The breaths she was barely managing to make had stopped altogether, right along with the ragged pumping of her chest.

"Norris..." My smile slowly fell. "Maggie." I had to drop one of my hands from her stomach to touch her face, the blood smearing over her cheek as I stroked it. "Hey..."

She wasn't moving. I brought my hand to the other side of her cold face. "Angel."

Nothing. Nothing, but a silence I had never hated as bad as I did right now.

"You're funny, you know that?" I choked out past a chuckle; my girl loved to play games. "Joke over, okay? You won." Through my tears, I barely saw the stillness of her beautiful face remained still."You won, okay?" I stroked the hair away from her face, a smile lifting my lips as I waited for her laugh. "Now, wake up."

Nothing. Nothing, but a deeper hole in my heart.

"Maggie." Gently, I cradled her head and lifted it, my thumb tracing hearts into her jaw. "Angel, wake up. Please."

She...my vision blurred, and by the pounding of my heart, I hoped it meant that I would go with her if that was the case.

My head shook until I became dizzy. "I need you to open your eyes, okay? Will you do that for me?" When the same result was met, my throat locked up under the buildup of panic. I would do anything to swallow it back down. "I promise you won't be in trouble anymore if you do. Not a bit." I pressed a kiss to either eyelid and waited. "Let me see you, Norris."

She wasn't gone. She wasn't. She was just playing games. She was my smart ass for a reason.

"You're such a brat, you know that?" With gentle hands, I lifted her up until she was in my lap. Her body was limp, so unlike the one I had had in my arms so many nights ago. "I know how to get you, though."

I cradled her close to my chest, then pressed a kiss to her lips. Those were her favorites, even when she was mad at me. She would never miss it. Never.

There was no return or warmth in it.

I kissed her forehead, next. Her cheeks. Her nose. All of her favorite places that earned me the most beautiful smile in the world. My love's smile. I would see it the moment I finished. I knew it.

I lifted my head, my eyes slow. My expression and all else fell and slipped right under grief's hole at the sight in front of me. It was the one that broke me down for the first time in my life.

An unexplainable agony carved me deep as I stared down at her motionless form. The last of my hope was knocked out of me until I was left to crawl toward a bruised and bloodied self.

I brought my trembling fingers to her neck, and there was nothing. I didn't feel anything.

"No," I muttered, my head shaking. God, no. "No. No. No."

A relentless pain tore through my chest, first. Then, my body as a whole, from every possible angle. It was like the universe had stolen the sun from my sky, leaving me engulfed in an endless, suffocating darkness.

And, in this moment, I knew that nothing had touched it or even came close to it before.

My arms tightened around her, despite the shakiness in them. A sob tore from my throat, its echo bouncing through the house, joined quickly by another, each cry a piercing reminder of an unbearable, hollow ache.

"Please don't..." I begged, a sob forcing my voice down. "Please don't, Maggie." I stroked her hair under a palm that couldn't feel, from a body that was heartless without hers. "You can't..." I couldn't be without her. "I can't."

The agony made me physically numb, but emotionally, I was breaking. I was broken. Maggie was the piece that had held me, all parts of me, together, and without her...

"Don't leave, Maggie," I pleaded in a way I never thought possible, each word clawing its way out, triggering another shuddering sob that seemed to rip my very core. "Please don't go." The next sob that came made my body physically crumble. My forehead went against hers, but it didn't feel as it once did. Not when I knew what the sight would be once I came back up. "Please."

Tears streamed down my cheeks, joining the cascade that fell onto her face. I couldn't halt the flood, not now and possibly not ever.

I tucked my face into her neck until her cool skin was against mine. I continued on with the kisses in hope of anything. A curse, a scowl, a laugh or smile from her.

I didn't get it.

All I could do was break. The cracks only built when I realized that the person who helped put me back together so many times couldn't do exactly that, right now.

"I'm sorry," I cried against her. "I'm so sorry, baby." I squeezed my eyes shut and wished to be struck down this very moment. I didn't care how or what did it. Anything that brought me closer to her again was all I begged for, right now. "I'm so fucking sorry, Maggie."

My lungs fought for air under the heaves of my sobs until they turned into something that scraped and burned and stripped my throat and my body of strength. I wouldn't doubt it if I accidentally bursted something. I didn't care if it did, either.

I managed to find something else through the sadness that only showed because of its wrath. Anger. So much fucking anger.

Not only at the fact that she wouldn't be here with me, but at the fact that we, she wouldn't get to do so many things. Things that she had planned and dreamed of doing after being freed from her father. The life that she was more than owed.

It was gone.

I hadn't even realized I'd started to rock her until I was forced to tighten my grip around her body. The one that always made her laugh since she was so ticklish.

My cries only worsened when I didn't receive that reaction. It meant that she couldn't give one, because....

One second.

I wouldn't let her go.

As my mind trampled on the brink of shutting down  from the agony, several footsteps took through the house, along with voices that had to belong to paramedics. They were heading toward us, I realized once I heard the squeaks of gurney tires over the floors.

It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered. Nothing fucking mattered.

Nothing ever would again.

Because, Maggie Norris. My Norris. My biggest miracle. My love. My life.

She was gone.

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Check out some of my favorite foreshadows I dropped in these chapters:

Chapter titled 'Neither' - page 8 (I think) or the moment after Luke interrupts Maggie & Xander kissing (what Maggie says to Luke in their argument)

Chapter tilted 'Universe' - where Maggie hugs & says bye to Jax

Chapter titled 'Move' - 2nd to last or very last page.