"As long as we share the same sky and breathe the same air, we're still together." — Donna Lynn Hope
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Chapter 56
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Maggie

There he was. To the left of Kade, in the very front row.

There was a bouquet in his lap, as well as a large, heavy bag near his feet. He was fiddling with his bracelet, biting at the inside of his cheek with a nervous edge that I could sense from here.

Even though his attention was supposed to be on Jax, he was staring directly at me.

Fuck.

He was staring at me.

I jumped back from the curtain so quickly, I stumbled into one of the other crew mates.

Luke was here.

Why was he here?

There was an obvious reason, one that wasn't too hard to realize, but it was nearly impossible to try and understand.

Fuck, fuck.

I was already nervous, but now? I regretted not taking those shots with Jax before we left the house.

I wasn't even sure how I made it back to Jax's room until the cool wall was bruising my backside. I had left everything inside of here to pick up later, but even from here, I could see the screen of my phone lighting up on the table.

My tottering feet carried me across the room. When I read the message, my breath was swept right from under me all over again.

Luke: You look so beautiful, Maggie.

My skin flushed red at it, and he wasn't even saying it to me directly. Just reading it, though, made my heart tremor.

Before I remembered why he wasn't saying it to my face.

I caught sight of messages from the girls wishing me good luck, but for my own sanity, I chose to avoid looking at the phone, again.

Except I did.

I didn't respond to Luke's message. Instead, I read it a thousand times over, until my eyes finally burned from the glare of the screen. It still didn't provide any help.

When I thought back to how easily he played and toyed with me, his actions didn't make sense, not at all. If he didn't care, then he wouldn't be here.

He could have been balls deep in some other chick by now, out with his other friends on god knows what, or just anything else, but he wasn't. He was here. In that crowd, with a dozen roses for me.

I jumped back at the knock on my door before my stomach fell. Shit. That was my cue to go. I hadn't even realized so much time had passed, already.

"Okay," I breathed out, staring back at myself in the mirror. "You got this."

As I walked to the side of the curtain, I feared my legs would give out any minute here. These next couple of seconds would be the longest of my life, but for Jax, I could force myself through it.

Someone pushed me from the back, signaling my cue. I threw a glare over my shoulder at them before returning back into place.

Sucking in a patch of air for encouragement, my feet led me out. It was now or never.

Fuckitfuckit—

I couldn't stop myself. My eyes snapped up to the crowd instinctively, but as soon as I did, I regretted it. I knew their concentration wasn't solely focused on me, but shit did it feel like it.

Lukes' was the one to lure me right into its trap, though. It went above all others.

As soon as I looked to him, I caught sight of his stretching, prideful smile at me. I blinked back at him, attempting to tear my gaze away, but before I could, I saw him nod his head at me in encouragement.

I hated that it worked.

Jax was ready for me in the center of the stage, his hand outstretched for me. The confidence in his eyes hugged at my own, aiding me forward.

Despite how helpful it was, Luke's smile was the one that had my focus above all else. I painted on the perfect expression, the one I watched Maria wear many times over.

As soon as I said her line, just three simple words, the stage went silent. The entire building went silent, and I went with them.

Then, it happened.

A clap so loud, it thundered through the room. And, I paired it with its holder, immediately.

My head turned toward the sound. Luke was standing, his grin big and wide as he clapped for me. Not even a second later, our friends were up with him, then the entire center was full of screams, and standing ovations.

I wasn't even worried about them, though. I couldn't fight the butterflies that awoke in my stomach at it, or at him.

His penetrating gaze drew me back in. His smile never fell, his expression softening over at me. I thought every following breath to be my last one before the curtain drew shut.

I stumbled back, my hand grasping at my roaring tummy. Shit.

"Mags!" Jax called, rushing over to me.

I didn't even have time to react before my feet were dangling off the floor. I had no other choice but to fall into the hug, but I embraced it just as much as he did.

Despite how nerve wracking it all was, I would do it all over again just to see the happiness on my brother's face.

Actually...no, I wouldn't. Fuck him.

Laughter erupted from his throat as he sat me back down. "You did amazing!"

"Me?" I shot back in disbelief. "You were perfect, Jax!"

He never missed a single line, or stumbled, not once. It was like a switch flipped inside of him the moment he stepped onto that stage. Just being on the same stage as him was mesmerizing.

In the beginning of his response, we were being surrounded by crew members and some of his friends from school that had rushed backstage. All I caught sight of was his ecstatic expression, as well as his big smiles, before he was gone from my vision.

Hands pulled and stirred me around. I was getting passed through the crowd so quickly, it was a wonder I made it out alive.

Shit. How does Jax do this?

I sucked in a breath to calm my nerves, turning in the direction of the crew rooms. It would take awhile with the crowd, but I wouldn't bother him while he took it all in. We should be leaving for the restaurant soon, anyway.

When I turned, that same breath was ripped away.

Luke was standing in front of me, merely a couple of feet away. The large bouquet and bag were in hands, and along his face was a small smile that made my heart do the biggest flips.

"Luke," I breathed out, running a hand over my trippy stomach.

"Maggie," he responded back, taking a step closer.

I didn't step back, nor did I advance. I remained still, but I might as well have been moving. My body was already struggling against the pull his brought on.

"You came." My eyes fell as I swallowed past the paste of emotion in my throat, "I didn't think you would remember..." I shook my head to finish it off for me.

"Of course I did. I knew how much it meant to you," he assured. Another step closer. "I never forgot, angel."

My heart swelled at my nickname. It was getting harder by the minute to remain upright with him just looking at me. Him speaking to me was making my mind just as spaced out.

I edged past it, instead focusing on the roses in his arms. "How did you get those so soon?" I had only texted Raven and Kimberly the change of plans a couple of minutes before the play started.

"I got them before I came." He glanced down to the bag. "And, a couple of other things." From the bag's size, it looked like way more than a 'couple of things', but I didn't comment.

His gaze was weighing on my face now, his throat bobbing the longer he did so. To see the scar on his throat jump made my heart clench tight at the familiarity.

At my stare, he blinked out of his trance, his eyes falling to the roses. "Shit. My bad." When he handed both of them over to me, our fingers grazed so effortlessly, but effectively. The tips pricked with the strongest of energy, but I played it off. "I hope you like them."

Even from my quick glance, I could see the assortments inside of the bag. Expensive pieces of jewelry. My favorite candies, and desserts. Even in the flowers, I could see the pieces of candy scattered inside, too.

My chest rolled under the pressure at how sweet it was, but it wasn't too hard to lose it when the pain set in, again.

Moving my gaze elsewhere, I held the roses to my chest, and pulled the bag to my side.

"I know you said that you don't really like flowers, but they were pretty." His dark eyes studied over my face, carefully. "They reminded me of you, so I got them."

My skin matched the roses at his complement. For years, I claimed to not even like flowers, but I had found out that when Luke gave them to me, I did.

"Thank you," I said, softly. "They're beautiful."

"So were you out there," he said, his dimple deepening into a smile. "You were amazing, Maggie."

I tilted my head to the side at him. "I only had one line."

"And, you had me mesmerized with every word," he admitted. He was so close now, all I had to do was lift my head just a bit to have a clear look at him. "Absolutely mesmerized."

I kept my burning eyes on the flowers. I couldn't listen. When he cleared his throat, I nearly jumped.

"Fang..." Even without seeing it, I could hear the struggle in the softest of his voice, clearly. "Fang misses you."

I mustered up a light chuckle. "Really?"

Luke nodded. "Yeah." He stepped closer until our feet were touching. "He won't sleep anywhere else other than your room, now."

I tried to gather another laugh, but it was too hard. Instead, I settled on a false smile that was shaky.

It all went to shit the second he lifted a hand, grazing the skin along my cheek, though. My body reacted despite the circumstances, instantly melting at our contact.

"And...I miss you," he whispered out, his fingers gently pushing the strands of hair behind my ear. "I miss you so much, Maggie."

I shut my eyes, letting the words circle through my head for a passing moment. They mixed in with all of the other components of the night that involved him, but just like those, the fears brought me back to reality before all else.

Reality was that he knew of how broken I was.

His head tilted as he observed me over for a response. His expression was full of caution, and buckets of fear of what said response would be.

My arms tightened around the flowers. I stepped back, letting his hand fall to his side, again.

"I have to go, and get changed for dinner," I said, quietly. "Thanks for all of this."

The hope in his expression grew. "You're coming?"

My eyes raised to him in confusion before I got it. He was coming to dinner. Of course he was. He was bestfriends with Kade and Levi, who were here for Kimberly and Raven, who were here for Jax. It was all a web.

Then again, he never came to anything group-wise before now. So, it had to be for me.

Instead of providing an answer to his question, I chose, "I have to go."

Before he could stop me, I was turning, then practically sprinting back to Jax's room. Each step nearly felt like the last until I finally made it back, slamming the door behind me.

The cool wall barely did anything to aid my warm skin. It was impossible with Luke, the very source of my warmth, being only a couple of feet away.

Shit.

I wasn't sure if it were him being here, or if it would have been him not being here that frightened me worse.

It was getting far too hard to breathe, so I didn't hesitate in taking the dress off. There was barely a difference in the relief, but I still felt a bit better in my own clothing.

My mind returned back to the original issue of the night.

The dinner. Luke would be there. Fuck.

My instinct was to run, to avoid my problems, and pretend that they didn't exist until they did go away. But, this wouldn't. This was bigger than anything I could have ever thought myself capable of.

Our best friends were the very thing that had always connected us, even when we didn't want it to. It had been that way the moment Kade and Kimberly got together. Then, there was Levi and Raven. We were all tangled in each others grasps, whether we wanted to be or not.

There was no possible way for Luke and I to avoid one another.

So, I couldn't run. I told Jax I would come too, and as I said, this night was only about him. I couldn't bring his success down with my own failures.

Breathe, Maggie.

It would only be for a couple of hours. The others would be there to distract me from Luke, so hopefully, it would be enough.

Bullshit.

***

"Are you sure?" Jax asked for the thousandth time.

As soon as he realized that Luke would be at the dinner, he told me that I didn't have any obligation to attend if it made me uncomfortable. He even offered to drop me off at home, or to call the dinner off, altogether.

Of course, I rejected the idea, but we'd been arguing about it for the past twenty minutes.

I pushed out a sigh. "It's fine, Jax." If he kept asking though, I might just take him up on the deal.

He glanced to me, then the building, the hesitation growing along his face. "I just don't want to put you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, Maggie."

"I know, but you're not. I'm an adult. I can sit, and be cordial without there being a problem."

Jax studied me over for a moment, before sighing. "If you get uncomfortable, you better tell me, Mags. We'll go home right away, okay?"

I nodded, squeezing his hand. "I know." I wouldn't, though. This was his celebration, and I wouldn't let anything ruin it.

Tony had privately booked a room for us, and was already inside. Once Jax and I walked into the restaurant, we caught sight of our friends. The girls all waved, and stood to meet us halfway, but my attention was elsewhere.

Luke's own didn't skip a beat, eyes immediately jumping to mine. The ardency in his gaze alone made me want to turn around, and take off for the first exit I saw.

But, I couldn't, and I wouldn't.

I tore my gaze away despite how hard it was. Instead, I looked elsewhere, even though I could feel him still carrying on without shame.

I blinked at the added pressure until I realized that I was being hugged. Raven pulled back, a prideful smile on. "You did amazing, Maggie."

"You did." Kimberly nodded in agreement, squeezing my hand. "You looked so beautiful in that dress."

I smiled back at them both, leaning in for another hug. I needed it now more than ever. "Thank you."

They went to Jax, next. I could hear their laughter and cheers from my side, but it came out to mean nothing.

While they conversed, I risked another glance back to the table.

It was the same as before. Luke was still watching me. Kade and Levi were talking to him about something, but he didn't appear to be the least interested in whatever it was.

I ripped my gaze away when an arm went over my shoulder. At the woodsy hinted cologne, I recognized it for Jax.

His eyes searched mine for any discomfort. "You ready?"

"Of course." I forced a smile. "Let's go." I nearly had to pry my feet from their spot in order to make it to the table.

Kimberly sat alongside Kade, Raven by Levi, Tony next to Jax, and if it wouldn't have been for Jax, I would have had to sit next to Luke.

Instead, Jax scooted down enough to allow me a seat next to him. He passed me a look of understanding, as well as a smile, which I returned with gratitude. Thank fuck.

I was still sitting in front of Luke though, which wasn't much better.

Just as I situated myself into my seat, his knee grazed mine under the table, casually. Currents of sparks shot through me without an ending just at the small contact.

Luke's eyes drilled into the side of my face as he shifted until our feet were touching, too. It was the thing we always did when we ate together.

My head spun just at the simplest things, but I remained in place, and pretended to be in tune to the celebration.

I tried to remember my speech to Jax in the car, but shit was it hard. Luke hadn't moved his legs, and was still staring at me, despite everyone else in the room. I wondered if they felt as insufficient to him as they did to me. Like it was only us.

I tried my hardest to debunk that, laughing and smiling on cue with them. Raven was impersonating one of the scenes with a breadstick and wine, and causing the others to laugh.

In another circumstance, I would have done the same, but for right now...fuck.

I needed to breathe. I couldn't do it in here. I needed to make it look as casual as possible though, just so I'd have a minute to myself.

When a moment of silence was given, I jumped at the opportunity to say, "I'll be right back."

Kimberly gazed up at me past her glasses, concern blooming inside. "Oh:" Her eyes quickly jumped to Luke before returning to me, again. I knew she got it. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, forcing a smile. "Of course, I just need some air. That dress fucked with me a bit." Please don't dig.

Her smile raised at me, as did Ravens. I knew that she wanted to investigate, but I could see the understanding part tumbling over the curiosity more than ever. I was so grateful for it.

"Raven and I will order for you, hun," she reassured, softly. "Take your time, okay?"

I nodded as a thanks, avoiding Jax's eyes. Even Kade and Levi were staring at me now, but they went ignored.

I kept my composure through the restaurant until I finally made it to the outside. On the trim of the roof,  the strung up lights provided the perfect source of illumination for me, so I tried not to stray too far from them.

I shut my eyes, sucking in the fresh air. The cool night gently brushed at my warm skin, nearly to a whisper. It didn't do much to help my torching mind, but it was better than nothing at all.

What did he want from me?

I had nothing left to give. Nothing to tell him, nothing to show him. He had seen it all, already.

Maybe he was only doing this to talk about his building. Despite everything, that deal existed a reason, and I still had a debt to pay. Perhaps he remembered that fact, and came to collect.

I didn't know. Truly, I didn't.

"Maggie."

I jerked around so fast, it made my vision blur for a second. "Luke."

His feet seemed to move slow, but he didn't stop until he was only a hairs width away from me. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and that was why I didn't miss a thing.

And there it was, that fucking look, again. The one that looked so mean to the others, but so sweet to me. The one that I had stupidly fallen for.

I shoved out a defeated sigh. "I'm not about to argue with you, Luke."

He shook his head, immediately. "I didn't come here to fight with you. I just..." he paused, his breath shaky. His eyes met mine, again. "I want to talk to you, Maggie. I want to try to make this, us, right."

"What's there to talk about?" Leaning away from the building, I attempted to sidestep him before he beat me to it. My gaze dipped as I shook my head. "You already know everything there is."

"No." He shook his head, the strain in his voice growing. "No, I don't, okay? What those files said—"

"They were true," I cut him off, shifting my gaze into a glare. "You found out everything, and you used it to get back at me." My head bobbed loosely as I moved toward the exit. "Good job, now let me—"

Luke side-stepped me, again, his expression full of plea. "No, Maggie, it wasn't like that, okay?" He sighed heavily, his hands falling to his sides. "Please. Please just hear me out this time, Maggie. Let me explain all of it, first."

My eyes burned with tears as I shook my head. I didn't want to hear his lies, not anymore. It was what put me here in the first place.

At my tears, his expression melted to an ache of some sorts.

"Please. Just give me five minutes," he attempted, his eyes trailing my face for help. "After that, if you want me to leave, then I will. I promise I will, but just...please, Maggie."

Five minutes. Three-hundred seconds. It would all determine so much.

I sniffled, slowly raising my gaze up to his. Just as my lips curved around a response, someone called out behind me, "Mags."

I turned to the entrance, where Jax stood. His eyes were studying Luke over for a sign of a threat to me.

They went to me a second later, full of concern. "You okay?"

I nodded, my lips shaky around my response, "Everything's fine." I glanced to Luke, but my words were directed to my brother, "I'll be in there in a minute, okay?"

Jax hesitated, letting his gaze of warning linger on Luke for a moment, who was only looking back at into my eyes, right now.

Finally, Jax looked back to me, his expression gone serious. "Text me if you need me, okay? You know it'll only take one."

I nodded in understanding. "I will." I didn't think it would be needed, but if it got him away, then I'd say it.

His gaze lingered on us for an extra minute, as if he were giving me a chance to change my mind. When he realized that I wasn't, he turned around, then went back inside of the restaurant.

Slowly, I turned to face Luke again, who was fidgeting with his bracelet. His throat jumped as soon as I looked to him, the nerves in his actions undeniable.

"You get five minutes," I agreed, quietly. "Only five."

His chest fell with relief, nodding his head, quickly. I waited and waited, but I didn't even realize he was waiting on permission to speak until I nodded back.

His gaze focused on mine as he spoke, "Do you remember that day in the shop? It was one of the very firsts after we started our deal. You went in the bathroom, but when you came out, we got into that huge argument. You told me all of that shit about my parents, and made fun of my scars..." he paused before quickly adding with a shake of the head, "Not that I'm saying you're to blame. Because you're not. Not at all. I did it on my own, because in that moment, I had no idea what I'd find. I thought I'd get maybe a couple DUIs or some embarrassing drunk out pictures of you or something."

He took a step closer to me. "I was just so mad and hurt. I was pissed at what you said to me, and I wanted to have some ammunition to get back at you when the time came. It was days before you saw my dad for the first time. By the time we started getting closer, I'd completely forgotten about the order I made to Preston about you. And, by the time that I remembered I even made the request, it was too late."

"How long?" I whispered.

It didn't take much for him to understand what I was asking.

"A couple of days after you started staying with me," he admitted in a quiet voice. "It was the same day I asked you to move in with me for good. Right before we went out to eat at the shack. And, I promise you. I swear that that's true. I can show you proof of the dates, and if that—"

My arms curled around my stomach as I whispered back, "I believe you."

I did.

This was the part that had confused me so much before. How, or why he wanted to go after the information. Now, I knew.

I believed in what he said. Despite his tone, I would have still believed him about it, but the rest is what stopped me from running back into his arms.

The wind swept through my hair. After the play, I had put it back up, but the loose strands still smacked at my face. Instinctively, my arms tightened around myself to help the cold, both in and outside.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Luke move to the speed of lightning. Not even a second later, I felt his jacket around my shoulders.

I didn't make a move to accept it, nor did I try to push it off. Despite the warmth it provided, I couldn't enjoy it too long when I remembered who it belonged to.

"You wanna go sit in my car for the heat?" he asked, tightening it around me. "I don't want you to catch a cold out here—"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I cut over him.

His startled expression caught my question, but he quickly recovered. Dropping his hands from me, he crossed his arms, maintaining our eye contact.

"I didn't want you to think that I still had bad intent behind it. That I used it as a revenge scheme," he explained, slowly. "I knew that it was too late to take it back. I knew how bad it would look, and I didn't want to hurt you by having you think that I purposefully did it to hurt you."

"You could have told me," I said, drilling my eyes into him. "You do realize how much worst it looked when I found out the way I did, don't you?" I didn't even realize my voice was rising until he flinched. "You lied to me, Luke."

Luke nodded, a round of pain flashing over his face the moment he saw mine. He sighed, rolling his lips under the other as he thought over his next set of words.

"If I could go back and change it, I would," he expressed, apologetically. "I would, Maggie. I shouldn't have dug into your past, I should have just been honest with you, because I know how bad it looks...I know how bad I look for not telling you," he paused, shifting closer to me. His expression sunk with regret. "I know that, and I'm so fucking sorry. When I found out—"

"You were disgusted by me," I finished in a whisper, glaring into the concrete.

It made it easier to say the words myself rather than hear it from the person who had made me see the opposite for the first time in my life.

Luke jerked back as if I'd slapped him.

"What?" he shook out, reaching for me. His face twisted with confusion. "Maggie, no—"

I shrunk back from his touch, shaking my head. "You were." My voice cracked under the tears as I willed myself to beat him to the punch. "You know everything. How tainted I am. How used—"

"No," he argued back in a louder voice this time, grabbing me by the hands. I didn't let them fall. He tugged me to him until we were in each other's spaces. "No. Fuck no. That's not true, Maggie."

My head fell, my eyes stinging as I whispered out, "You don't have to lie anymore, Luke."

Gently, he lifted my head up, again. His own shook, brows knitted in a frown. "I have never once lied about the way I feel about you," he swore to me. "You, Maggie. The one that only you have shown me."

I raised my gaze to his. The tears only fought even harder for release. I tried to drop my head, again, but he caught it. His hands released mine, instead falling to either of my cheeks.

"I'll say it every single day," he said, studying me over with an oath of honesty to his tone. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner, but I didn't, and for that..." His eyes squeezed as he sighed. "I swear to you, Norris. I regret every single bit of it. I do."

His handsome face pained me to watch morph into such a depth of emotion. My eyes squeezed shut, the tears slipping from the corners, one by one. I felt him draw me in closer, warm lips against the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry for even having you think that I never really wanted you," he whispered to me, one hand gently stroking the side of my head. "Because it's not true, Maggie. Not at all."

My body was shaking. His own wasn't any better. His trembling lips pressed against the center of my forehead, again, before he peered back to look at me.

"I fell for you, Norris," he whispered to me, his eyes steady on mine. "I fell for you so hard that I can't think back to a time without you. Without your presence. Without your so unfunny that they're funny jokes. Without your perseverance. Without that pretty smile." He paused, his thumb trailing over my lip. "And, these beautiful eyes." He leaned forward, softly draping a kiss over either eye. They lingered shut for a moment before I felt his penetrating gaze become too much to ignore. "I can't think back to anything without you because I don't want to. I don't want anything in the world if you're not with me first, Maggie."

My heart peeled right back into its own frantic rhythm at him. His words hugged me so comfortably, like they were enough to sustain me. Because they would have been if my fear wasn't still present.

Lukes' expression sweetened over with adoration as he gazed back at me. "I knew I was fucked when I had you in my arms that night in the hotel." His chest shook as he sighed around a chuckle. "I didn't want to let you go. As soon as I got home, and went to sleep, I woke up and..." his gaze dipped only for a second as he smiled so softly, it seemed angelic. "When I saw you weren't there, I felt empty. I felt sad, and everything was just... so fucking wrong." His gentle words were a harmony in my ears. "Because in that moment, I knew that I wanted to be wherever you were, Maggie. I wanted to do whatever you did. I wanted to be whoever you wanted me to be. I wanted you."

His hands gentled around my skin as he cradled my face. "I want you."

It broke down what little restraint I thought I had. The tears slid down either cheek as I wished. I wished so badly that that confession was true. That he wanted me, and only the real me.

"You don't," I sighed out through a straining throat. "You can't, not when you already have the other. You can't have both versions—"

Luke shook his head, blonde strands falling. "There is no version of anything," he argued, stroking my jaw. "There's you. Only you. Only the things that you've trusted me enough to tell me. That's what I listen to. That's how I know your favorite things. Your boundaries, your insecurities, your feelings. That's how I know, and think when it comes to you. Nothing changes that, nothing did change that. I see you, Maggie. I only see you."

I stared back at him past the blur in my vision. In between the cracks, I caught nothing but honesty in him, in his words, in his tone and expression. I caught nothing but promise, and authenticity.

And, I believed it.

I did, because I felt the same way. I couldn't recall not feeling the same way about him, honestly. It was a newfound, breath of fresh air.

But, my father always got the last laugh. Even half way across the country, he still did.

Right now, he was here. He was here in my insecurities. In my ear, in my first chance of actually being able to find one of the many things he took. And, I couldn't shake him off.

My hands fell from Luke so quickly, we both flinched. The pain in his eyes only flourished alongside my own. Except, mine wasn't aimed at him.

When I first found out, I hadn't given him a chance to explain, but now that I knew...I could find understanding in his original plan.

He hadn't known what he would find, and at that point, he was hellbent on hurting me the way I did him. I had said the worst of the worst to him. At that time, I would have done the same thing to him had I not an ounce of idea of what was actually going on behind the scenes.

I was mature enough to accept that part. But, the hiding and not telling me still hurt. I wasn't sure how I would have reacted had he told me earlier on, but I could take a guess that I'd still feel betrayed. Embarrassed. Humiliated. Shamed.

I was so ashamed.

Despite the anger, that fact remained over all others. I didn't want him to see me, anymore.

If he looked any closer, he would see how many pieces of the puzzle were truly missing. Ones that would never be found, again.

My shaky gaze returned to Luke's. "I-I need time to think."

I didn't, not really. In reality, I just wanted the time to try to come up with a good enough plan to make him give up.

He could. He should.

Yet, I really hoped that he wouldn't.

Luke's head bobbed along with his throat, the pain in his expression only intensifying. "Yeah." He attempted, but failed at a smile. I could see how badly he wanted to argue, but instead chose, "I'll give you time. I'll give you anything you want."

I didn't respond to that, because I didn't know if I could. I knew what my answer should be, but it was the last one that I wanted to give.

Luke continued to watch me over me. He attempted to hide his saddened expression as he said, "My house is just as much yours, too. Always. Walk in, come and see Fang, or any of that shit, all you want. You don't have to ask for a thing." I didn't move as he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead before pulling back, again. "Don't forget that, okay?"

My clammy palms ran past the material of my pants as I nodded. My body nearly jolted at his words, fully ready to accept the request before I fought it back. "Thank you."

I saw him nod in the corner of my eye. He tugged his lip in between his teeth, adding, "Can I...is it okay if I call you before you go to sleep?" The fear in his voice made me look at him, again. "I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

Here I was, hurting and trying to push him away, and he was still concerned, and trying to check over my nightmares and my wellbeing. Fuck.

The generosity in his eyes nearly sucked me right back in. My own fell right back to the ground to avoid it. The weight of his jacket seemed to hold me like a cinder block, until I finally pulled it from my shoulders.

"I'll call you if I need it," I forced out, offering his jacket back to him. "Thank you."

He nodded, nibbling on the inside of his cheek in thought. He looked to me, again, stretching his hand out to stroke my jaw. I forced myself to remain still, instead of leaning into him.

His lips lifted into a ghost of a smile. "I don't care what time it is, what's going on, or what either of us are doing or not doing..." he started out in a small voice. "If you need me, all it takes is one word, and I'll be there, no matter what, okay? That shit won't ever change for you, Maggie."

I nodded, opening my lips to respond. Nothing came out but a sigh under the weight of his promise. I didn't plan on using it, or taking advantage of him, but him giving it to me despite everything nearly melted down the ice barrier I was attempting to build.

As soon as I forced my eyes down, I turned. I didn't want a setback.

My arms draped across my chest as I stared out toward the door. I was only going back to get Jax's' keys, so that I could sit in his car until the dinner was over. I was wrong; I couldn't handle it, anymore. 

"Maggie," Luke said from behind me.

My heart nearly ceased right along with my feet. My gaze lingered on the glass door, but I didn't supply a response other than my presence.

"I know that I shouldn't say it right now, but..." his words trembled under themself. "I don't want to ever lose you, Maggie." The agony in his voice made my heart slip with it. My eyes squeezed shut at his next words, "Nothing in my world, if there even is one at all, seems to make sense without you there."

My chest sucked in under all of the weight. I thought my knees would give out before I even touched the restaurant door handle.

I filled in what little courage I did have left, though. It took me close enough to the door until my body could do the rest.

Before I grasped it, I whispered out, "Bye, Luke."

***

I'd been watching the security footage from Luke's house for the past hour and a half.

It was supposed to be a quick glance. A simple answer to my question full train of thought. But, once I reran through the footage from last week, I couldn't stop.

I drawled out a sigh, sinking back into the bed. My finger hovered over his contact before I stopped myself. It wasn't a good idea.

Honestly, I just wanted to see Luke, again. Perhaps it would help my nightmares a bit. I knew that he'd answer in a matter of seconds if I called, but I didn't feel right using him in that way. I didn't think it was right to just ignore him, then only call for his presence for my personal gain.

I pulled the thick comforter over my body, but paused at the knock at my door. I expected it to be Kimberly, but with the strength behind the knock, I doubted it. "Come in."

Once it opened, in came Kade. My brows shot up with surprise at him, but his nonchalant expression remained the same.

"Hey..." I said slowly, but once I got past my shock, I shook my head at myself. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting you."

"Good then, because Kimberly forced me to come in here."

My shoulders fell with a chuckle. Of course she did. "Any particular reason?"

"Mhm," he hummed, tossing something at me."She wanted to make sure that you ate something since you didn't have anything at dinner."

I should have expected it; Kimberly was the most considerate girl I'd ever met. There were always small, meaningful things that she caught that everyone else seemed to miss.

As soon as I went back into the restaurant for Jax's keys, Kimberly had followed me back to the car. I had managed to hold the tears back, but when she caught sight of my face, she suggested that her, Raven, Jax, and I begin our spring break activities early. I took her up on it, since maybe, hopefully, it would provide a well-enough distraction from the many things I wished to avoid.

Now, I was at Kimberly and Kade's lake-house. Raven and Levi were both here, too, but they were on the second floor of the large space. Jax was going to be visiting soon, too. We all decided to wait until tomorrow to get started. It couldn't push away all of the shit I'd racked up these past few months, but any time with my girls could be a help.

I flipped the Rice Krispie bar over. "I appreciate it."

Kade shrugged it off. "There's more food in the fridge, if you get hungry. Luke told me all of your favorites, and shit like that. I think I got it all, but if not, Kimberly did."

I tried to keep my reaction to Luke's name at a minimum, but there was no denying it. My skin blanched ghost white as I forced a nod.

"Yeah, thanks." My smile was artificial. "I promise not to be too in the way, or anything like that." It was awkward saying all of this to Kade, or saying anything at all to Kade, really, but it would pass.

"Nah," he waved me off. "Don't worry about it. Stay as long as you want. Eat and do what you want. I don't care. Kimberly's missed you a fuck-ton, so you all can do whatever." He paused before adding, "I mean, I still don't like you, but..." he shrugged, his lips twitching with humor. "I don't hate you, either."

I chuckled. "Agreed."

A smirk curved his lips. "Glad we're on the same page, then."

I nodded in agreement, feeling my shoulders relax. It wasn't as awkward since Kade was quite blunt, which I preferred rather than fake-smiley bullshit.

Nodding at my treat, I added, "Thank Kimberly for me, too."

"Yeah." Without another word, he swept around to the door, again. One foot was hanging out, but then he paused, and slowly turned to face me, again. "You okay, though?"

I tried to block my shock off, but I was sure I failed. I wasn't expecting the question, nor the sincerity behind it.

"Yeah, of course." Shrugging, I faked a smile. "Why wouldn't I be?" That was an understatement.

Kade snickered as he stepped back into the room. "Because, my best friend's an idiot."

My eyes whipped up to him. "What?"

"He's an idiot," he repeated casually. "The fucker's my brother so I can call him out on his ignorant shit. And, there's a lot of it, too."

A small chuckle slipped away from me. Luke talked to them about me. I didn't think, at least I hoped, that he didn't elaborate too much on what our fight was about.

Kade must have caught some of the panic in my expression because he quickly added, "Don't worry. He didn't tell Levi or I shit about whatever happened between you. Just cried and bitched long enough for us to piece enough of it together."

My lungs lifted at the relief. I hadn't told a single soul what our fight had been about, because in doing so, I'd create my own whirl of chaos.

Kade was waiting for a response, or maybe he wasn't, I had no idea. The man was hard as shit to read, let alone understand if you weren't Kimberly. I just took a guess, anyway, though.

"You don't know what happened, yet you're taking my side?" I tried to joke, tucking my legs under me. "Brave of you."

He chuckled at me. "Nah, that's not any of my business. I just know that if there's a fight or shit like that, it's normally Luke's doing. The fucker's pride and ego can make anyone snap."

My lips moved into a smirk. "It is pretty big."

"Mhm," he hummed his agreement. "I've been friends with him for nearly a decade, and I've never, not one time, seen him put it behind him. I've sure as hell never seen him put someone else other than Levi and I in front of it, before. I don't even think he knew how, to be honest."

My gaze averted to the sheets. I couldn't form a response, but luckily, I didn't have to.

"But..." he continued, shrugging. His eyes flickered over me, again. "That was until a certain girl came in and trashed his building for revenge."

My eyes shot up to his.

His big shoulders raised and fell in a shrug. "Then, all of a sudden, I'm seeing him say all the shit, do all the shit that I never would have expected from him." His eyes tipped over me. "And, for the first time in my life, that son of a bitch has actually shocked the fuck out of me." He chuckled, adding, "Because, that same girl in the shop, was the only one I've ever seen make Luke care about anyone else other than himself, or us. Maybe even more so, honestly."

My heart slipped right from its place, and melted to my feet. I tried to maintain a neutral expression, but it was hard with what I just heard.

"Honestly, though." Kade studied me over with a casual expression, but his words meant much more. "I like you two assholes together. I like that you make him want to learn and try new shit, that you challenge him, that you talk back, and argue with the hardheaded fucker. That you're probably the only person who can do that shit without getting their shit knocked out." This earned a chuckle from me. "He needs that. He's been doing way better with that." He paused, considering over his next set of words for a moment. His eyes tipped up to the ceiling in thought before he scoffed, "You know...come to think about it, I've never even heard the stubborn son of a bitch apologize before. Not until you."

"Really?"

"Hmm," he nodded, dragging a hand down his jaw.His confession had made his face go tight with apprehension, but he played it off. "And sorry if this shit was all jumbled up—"

"No, don't worry," I waved it off with an appreciative smile. "It wasn't."

He mustered another nod before he added, "This wasn't me trying to get my friend another shot with you or any of that sweet shit either, just in case he ever asks," he clarified. "In fact...if you think you wanna take a swing at the fucker or something, tell me or Levi and we'll make it happen."

My laughter was sincere. "I'll definitely keep that in mind."

His laugh was small before his face fell somber, again. "It was just me being honest, though. I've always been protective of him and Levi both, but especially Luke, because he had no one else to be that for him before us..." He paused to clear his throat. "And I know that he probably says and thinks Levi and I did a lot of shit for him, but in all honesty, he's one of only reasons I'm still here today. I wouldn't have been shit without him. Levi, too. He gets on my nerves, he's a snarky ass fucker, and I wanna smack the shit out of him just for looking at me too long sometimes, but it's still true. I owe him more than anything I'll ever be able to repay. As fucked and pissed as we may get, he's always been my brother and my family before my friend. I just want what's best for him, and that seems to be you."

I could hear the sincerity in his speech before he added, "And I know this shit wasn't any of my business, and I never told you any of this if anyone asks, but..." His chest shook under an exhale. "Luke, he cares about you." His tone dipped as he spoke the words to me, "He really, really cares about you."

My heart exploded somewhere in the conversation, I was sure. I didn't even realize I was clenching the treat he gave me for dear life until I heard the bag crinkle from under my grip.

I thought Kade's visit would be a quick hey and goodbye, but instead, I knew I'd be up all night. Tossing and turning, both mentally and physically over everything he just admitted about his friend.

It was more of a shock that it came from Kade, too. He was the quiet one, usually reserved, and an observer to everything. The only person I saw him speak the most, and so freely to was Kimberly, and only her. That was it. Everyone else only got what he wanted them to see, and it was never much.

So, I knew he was just as shocked as he let on about his friend. Luke was the same as Kade in that sense: reserved. He could adjust to any social environment from being the mayor's son, but he only let people see what he allowed them to. The rest was simply observation, or myth.

I saw him, though. The real him. He allowed me to have it in every sense, and as conflicted as I had been on it in these past couple of days...

I shook my head. I couldn't think on it too hard, right now. It was getting difficult enough to get to sleep with the nightmares. A racing mind added to it surely wouldn't help.

I looked at Kade. "I appreciate you," Clearing my throat, I added, "For telling me all of this. I really, really do."

Under the mask, I saw the humor strike first. "What the fuck are you talking about?" His head tilted along with his lips. "I didn't tell you shit."

Amusement tickled my chest. "Agreed."

His laugh followed in the smallest amount before a soft knock sounded out at the door. Both of our gazes raised as it was pushed open all of the way.

Kimberly was standing there, a bottle of water and a plate of chicken nuggets in hand. Reluctant eyes moved to Kade, then to me reluctantly. "Am I dreaming, or are you two actually having a nice conversation?"

Kade's cool exterior washed away at her. It was replaced with a half-grin her way as he approached her. "I must be dreaming because you're supposed to be in our bed, already sleeping, sweetheart."

He attempted to pull her into him, but she sidestepped him in order to get to me. He gave a scowl that resembled a pout before she chuckled at him.

I nearly joined her before pausing. He had said that Kimberly forced him to come in here, but that wasn't possible if she was asleep, which by her groggy expression, she definitely was. Kade had come in here on his own, then.

"I didn't want Maggie to go to sleep with an empty stomach," she told him over her shoulder, moving her warm eyes to me, next. "I didn't know if you wanted a real meal, or another snack. There's some leftover pizza in the fridge, but if you don't want that, we can order you a fresh one—"

I smiled at her, taking the plate with a shake of the head. "This is already perfect." She handed me the water bottle, next. "Thank you."

She took a seat beside me on the bed. "You know it wasn't a problem." Her fingers reached out to grasp mine, entangling them. "How are you doing, babe?"

"Babe?" Kade snorted in the corner, sending her a silly look.

Kimberly threw an eye roll his way, fighting back a laugh of her own. "Shut up, it's a girl's thing." Her eyes returned to mine, a soft smile returning. "Is there anything else we can get you?"

I shook my head with a heartfelt sigh. I appreciated her so much. "No, but thank you for asking."

"Of course, beautiful." She squeezed down. "If you ever want to talk or anything, Raven and I are here, okay? You know you can talk to us about anything, and everything."

I nodded quickly, fighting back the itch behind my eyes. I hoped it was true. Perhaps one day, I could genuinely give them the truth of every single mess I had gathered in my life.

"You too, babe. Anytime." As quick as it was, I couldn't keep this conversation up too long. "I'm gonna try, to get some sleep in this big bed, though." I turned to Kade. "You know, you and your rich little friends make life real comfortable."

Kade chuckled. "I'll make sure to pass the message along."

Kimberly laughed, standing from my bed. "Still a retired gold-digger, huh?"

"You know I never stopped."

She shook her head at me, leaning down to place a kiss to my cheek. "I guess I should have known better," she joked. "I'll see you in the morning. Kade and I are cooking breakfast for everyone—"

"We are?" Kade questioned from the corner, a brow raised at her.

"We are," she confirmed, offering a smile to him when he scowled. At it, he huffed a curse under his breath, then mumbled out a, "We're cooking breakfast for everyone in the morning."

Kimberly and I fought back our laughter at him, before she looked to me, again. "I love you."

"Love you, back. Sweet dreams of me in that pretty head of yours, yeah?" Kimberly chuckled at my flirtations, squeezing my hand once more before getting up from my bed.

Kade jerked a glare at me, his arm falling to her stomach so that he could press her back into him. "She will. Of me, and only me." Kimberly laughed, her hand falling over his as she looked between the two of us. "I feel the love, guys. Seriously."

"God knows there's a lot of it from me. I'm never giving your beautiful self up, babe." I chuckled at Kade's eye roll, unscrewing the cap of my water. I tilted the bottle at him. "Mad that I can take your girl, Ryder?"

Kade parted his lips for a response, but before he could give it, Kimberly was placing a hand over his mouth, and pulling him out of the room. I saw her clasp an arm around his waist, lifting herself until she was heard in his ear. Whatever she whispered out nearly had him tripping over his feet as he rushed toward their room, all signs of anger gone.

She threw a wink at me over his shoulder, mouthing a 'love you.' I chuckled, nodding in return before she shut my door.

As soon as I was finished eating, I leaned back into the comfy bed that would make no difference to me tonight.

Nightmares, here the fuck I come.

***

The moment I awoke, I was forced to reflect on the night terror first.

It was like the others, startling me out of my sleep without any type of merit, or pity on me. Nothing, but pure hatred directed at me for even attempting to try and seek a moment of peace.

The only thing that always settled my nerves back into place was when I woke up. I would be allowed a fleeting second to grasp the realization that it wasn't dark, anymore. That the monster couldn't take me, again.

Except, this time.

The television wasn't on, and the curtains were drawn shut, so there was nothing. Nothing at all.

When my eyes parted, I had to blink it over several times to make sure that I was seeing correctly.

Except that was the thing...I wasn't seeing anything.

Because the lights were off.