"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." — Winnie the Pooh
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Chapter 77
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Maggie

My grandmother had been right about so many things. I had found friends who were like family. Knowledge. A man who completed my soul, and my heart alike. The normalcy I had once dreamt of.

But my grandmother had also been wrong about one thing...

I couldn't do this without her.

"Mags? Did you hear me?"

My gaze lifted from the untouched cup of tea. My brother's red-rimmed eyes held mine.

I hadn't even realized I'd chewed my nail to the nub until the skin tore, a metallic taste on my tongue. A warm hand grabbed mine and gently lowered it.

"Maggie," Luke said, his thumb sweeping over my hand, concern in his eyes. "Did you hear your brother?"

I shook my head or maybe I didn't. I didn't know, and I didn't care. I didn't have a reason to anymore.

I couldn't avoid the three pairs of eyes on me; they surrounded the table.

"What did you say?" I mumbled.

Jax sighed, his hand covering his face, before Tony picked it up, kissing it in understanding. Jax managed a trembly smile before it faded.

"The funeral," he repeated, looking at me. "It's in a couple of hours."

"So?"

They all kept staring at me, making my skin itch with agitation, as if there weren't any other fucking people in the room.

"So?" Jax repeated, disbelief filling his eyes. "You're not going?"

My expression remained still. "No."

Luke gently squeezed my hand. "Maggie, baby, I know it's going to be hard, but your grandmother would want—"

"It doesn't matter," I muttered. "She's gone."

Jax sat up, anger brewing in his green eyes. "Does that mean our respect for her is gone, too?"

I couldn't answer. My mind was resorting to its most familiar form: dark. Bad. Negative.

Two days had passed since my grandmother's last breath. Two days since my own seemed to leave with her.

When Jax called, Luke and I went to his house. Our grandmother had already sorted out her finances and things like that for Jax and I, but we weren't worried about those right now. We were supposed to make the funeral arrangements, but I couldn't.

I couldn't.

"Maggie," Tony began, his brown eyes meeting mine over the table. "I'm with Luke. We know it's gonna be hard on you and your brother, but you have to remember your grandmother and her impact. This is your time to honor that."

Jax nodded in agreement, unclenching his jaw to say, "There's no going back after a decision like that, Maggie. You know what she wanted: us. Together at her funeral to honor her before anyone else."

Jax looked to Luke for help.

It caused something to spark in me. If it weren't for the buildup of curses in my throat, I wouldn't have recognized it so quickly for anger.

"Don't fucking look at him," I snapped, my hand tightening into a fist. My second followed a moment later. "Don't look at him as if he'll change my decision or something."

Luke glanced at me. "Maggie, he wasn't trying to—"

"He was," I interrupted, narrowing my eyes back at my brother. "You heard me, Jax. I'm not going. You can handle everything without me." I stood, anger coursing through me. "I won't sit there for hours, realizing the same thing I know now: our grandmother is dead."

Silence fell in the room. My chest heaved. I could feel everyone watching me, but I paid it no mind. Their judgement was impenetrable from my own, right now.

Nothing was right. My normal that I had once prayed for wasn't right. My life wasn't right. My mind wasn't right.

Nothing was fucking right.

"Wow." Jax scoffed, shoving a hand through his hair as he stood up, causing the chair to scrape. "Just fucking wow." His darkening gaze swung at mine. "You know, out of all of the bullshit you've managed to do over the years, this might be number one, Maggie."

Tony reached for Jax's arm. "Jax, please, sit down. She's hurting—"

"She's hurting?" Jax's disbelief filled the room, as well as his choked laugh. "So am I! But you don't see me disrespecting the woman who was our mother, do you?"

My head ached as I rested my elbows on the table. "Just leave already, Jax." I scoffed around my next statement, "I'm sure the strangers there who have never even heard of Dixie Reeves are just as eager to celebrate her life as you are."

Jax's glare slammed into mine, but it had no impact. It would have knocked me into a corner of sense if I allowed it, but that was the kicker. I didn't have one to get knocked into, right now.

Just as his eyes began to twinkle with tears, he closed them with a shake of the head. "You're so full of shit, Maggie," he hissed and after shoving his chair to the ground, he stormed off, slamming the door after him.

I heard Tony sigh and say goodbye, but I paid it no mind. The last thing I caught from him were his footsteps following in the direction my brother left.

My gaze remained on the tea in front of me. It had spilled in the midst of it all.

On either side, tea cascaded over the table. It was something. One second, the cup had been tranquil, and the next, it was a spilling.

My life had been still enough, not perfect but enough. Now, however, that very stillness was splashing and overflowing, and I was going right along with it.

"Norris," Luke called out. It was a miracle that he found a place in my fucked excuse of a mind.

I didn't look at him. "What?"

Though we were already seated side by side, he reached down, grasped my chair, and pulled me closer to him. I knew it was because he wanted to delve into every inch of me that he knew no one else had access to.

A finger under my chin lifted my head to meet his gaze. That same touch turned into a stroke to regain my attention.

"Maggie," he said softly. "I know how you feel about going to her funeral, but..." When I turned my head away, he followed my gaze, locking eyes with me no matter how hard I tried to evade it. "Angel, you'll never get to see her face to face, again, not after today. Hug her. Kiss her. Everything. Today is your day to do all of that. You don't have to get up, or speak or anything like that. You don't owe anyone else a thing, only her. No one else matters, except you and her."

As soon as I told Jax I wasn't going to Granny's funeral, he, Tony, and Luke were all determined to change my mind. Luke and I had argued about it for the past two days, but it always ended with my same response.

"I don't know those people, Luke. Jax doesn't know them either, and none of them knew Granny," I said. "I'm not going there to stand around with a bunch of posers. And they're going to be wearing dark colors. Granny wanted light colors. They didn't even get the right color for the lilies, they..." I shook my head, my jaw clenching. "It's all ruined, so I don't care anymore."

Luke grabbed both of my hands and placed them on his lap. "You do care, Maggie. I've seen it, and I see it now. I know you're hurt, but—"

I scoffed. "I'm not hurt."

"I don't want this to affect how you react to this decision later on, baby—"

I pressed my lips together and stood up. We were in the kitchen, and a half-empty bottle of scotch was sitting on the counter. It would be my companion for the night.

Luke immediately noticed my determined focus. I'd been drinking it ever since we got here.

Shaking his head, he moved to the other side of the kitchen and grabbed the bottle before I could reach it.

My nostrils flared as I moved closer to him. I stretched my arm past his figure to grab the bottle, but he blocked it from my reach.

I huffed, settling back into place. "Luke."

"Maggie," he countered, shaking his head at me. The concern in his expression remained stern. "No. You're not gonna get into this shit to deal with it."

My jaw clenched. "It's just a drink."

"A drink?"

"Yes. It's a drink. A drink to make me feel better because I'm fucking hurting, right now, Luke." I didn't mean for my voice to break, but it did, and in that break, my heart did the same, but it didn't seem to bounce back.

Luke's gaze softened when he caught it, but he made no move to give the bottle back. His lips, set in a thin line, only broke to say, "And what are you going to do when you keep hurting, Maggie?" Our glaring contest didn't end, even as he turned to place the bottle back down. "What? You're going to get another drink then another and another, and then what?"

My silence gave him an answer when I didn't respond. His words sliced right through my facade until I spilled everything. Just like the tea, I was left going in all different directions, but unlike it, I had someone to catch me.

I could try to hide it, but it was impossible. The parts that no one else had access to were just as much Luke's as they were mine. He could see through me without even trying.

Luke lowered my hands with another kiss to them. When he dropped them, that was the last sight I saw before he was pulling me into his chest.

"I've got you, Norris," he mumbled against my temple. I squeezed him tighter as the pain rolled through my body. "I'm right here, baby."

Swiftly, he led us back until we were in the guest bedroom, and near the bed. I didn't feel the mattress under me or even the movement, really. Luke placed me on top of his chest, grabbed a blanket, and wrapped us up.

Kisses were smothered against my head, and quickly accompanied by matching words, "I love you. I'll catch you, Maggie. I promise I will."

***

Luke swept his thumb over the back of my hand. "You cold? I can turn up the heat."

"No," I replied softly. "Thank you, though."

Luke nodded, kissing the back of my hand. The roar of the engine continued on, but I could barely hear it.

A couple of hours had passed since my grandmother's funeral. I had woken up long before Luke, but the tears had drowned me until I couldn't stay afloat any longer. Luke woke up, and through my sobs, held and talked to me until I was out of the beginning of a panic attack.

Running away had been my specialty for as long as I could remember, regardless of the situation. It was something I was common in, no matter what or who it was from.

This time, though, I tried to realize that I couldn't be selfish in worrying everyone, especially to Luke. I didn't wanna do that to him, nor Jax. With my cries, it was hard to articulate what I wanted, but luckily, Luke managed to see it through my distraught figure.

After leaving a note for Jax, we had left and driven to a hotel a couple of hours away from town. I knew it might look weak to others, but I couldn't stay in the town suffocating me most, right now. I wasn't sure how long we would be gone.

I turned to my side, watching the passing trees and cars. There were so many people, yet none could replace the one I missed the most.

I couldn't fathom how one person, one voice, one heartbeat could leave such a void in their absence. But she had.

I wondered if my grandmother had felt pain in her final moments. If she was mad or sad at not having either of her grandchildren, her children there to see her go.

"Maggie."

I looked up at Luke. His eyes locked onto mine, then to my trembling body. "I'm gonna grab my jacket from the back to get you inside, okay?"

Confusion filled me, but I understood when golf ball-sized hailstones struck the car's hood. By looking in their direction, I saw the large building in front of us. I hadn't even realized we'd been driving for so long until I glanced to the clock, and saw that a couple of hours had passed.

I hoped my gratitude showed in my expression because I couldn't muster much else. It had been a wise decision.

Luke rushed to get his jacket from the back and back to my side. The cool rain only grazed my skin for only a second before I was being shielded by his jacket.

I glanced at Luke's short sleeved shirt; I didn't want him to get sick. "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me, baby." He zipped up his jacket and rushed us to the hotel entrance.

We checked in swiftly since there was no line. I felt out of place amid the opulent surroundings. In the elevator, Luke offered room service, but I declined with a barely perceptible shake of my head. My gaze remained fixed on the plush carpeted floors, and I was certain I looked out of place, but I couldn't summon the energy to care.

Quietly, Luke led us to our room, swiping the key card. I remained near the door as he placed his bag on a chair, then turned to pull me closer.

His eyes examined me, their intensity softening as time passed. He unzipped the jacket I still wore, raising me up from my near-catatonic state. I was a lifeless puppet, moved only at his guidance.

Sitting on the bed, he moved to the headboard, and positioned me on his lap, his penetrating gaze locked onto mine. "Norris."

My eyes dropped to the white sheets, their weight feeling almost unbearable. White was the theme my grandmother wanted for her funeral.

"Maggie," Luke implored. "Baby, look at me. Please look at me."

Slowly, my tear-filled eyes rose to meet his, and I could feel the lump forming in my throat. A sob threatened to escape at any moment.

Luke's hand shifted from my face to stroke my back, soothingly. "I need you to talk to me."

"I can't," I croaked.

"You can't?" he repeated softly, his hand tracing my back.

I shook my head, and the emotional walls I had built began to crumble. "I can't."

"Then, that's just as fine. I'll take anything," he reassured. "But please, listen."

Tears clung to my eyelashes. It all hurt so much.

"I'm here, and I always will be. With you, by you." Luke kissed my forehead, his eyes never leaving mine. "You don't have to hide from me. I want it all. All of you and even more of that. I'm here, Maggie."

His words were battling for the territory in my head, but I wasn't sure which one was winning. Considering I was still listening, I would say that it was him.

He had found me. Physically and emotionally. Many times over when I thought I had managed to make myself unreachable, he had proved that belief silly.

Luke stared back into my eyes for a response. I wasn't sure if he expected an audible or a silent one, but with our connection, I knew he'd figure out my message, anyway.

The tears I had held back broke through my false strength. That was all it took.

Luke nodded immediately, his hand moving from my back, up to the nape of my neck, pulling me closer. He didn't stop until my face was in his neck. Either arm locked me into him until we were together.

My sobs wracked my body so hard, I never saw an ending. Luke held on as if he didn't either, but still wouldn't let go even if there wasn't one.

"Let it out, baby," he whispered against me. "Let it out."

***

I'd been watching the rain for the past half-hour; it hadn't stopped since we arrived.

I rose from the chair I'd been in ever since Luke got in the shower. It had been at least an hour since we'd both gotten up, so it was two in the morning, now.

My attention turned to the door, leading to a spacious balcony. My feet shuffled over the floors under a ghostly blanket of a body until I reached the sliding glass door.

I took Luke's hoodie off and laid it back on the bed. I was wearing a shirt underneath, and it was luckily short sleeved.

Good. I needed to feel it.

I opened the glass door, feeling the fresh scent of the rain wash over me. It was a fragile scent, clean and crisp like mountain air, tinged with a hint of chlorine. I inhaled deeply, trying to distinguish it from the others.

Without a plan, I moved toward the two large, beige balcony chairs. Either one was behind a gray railing, which was positioned in front of a round, clear glass table that resembled a stool more than anything else.

Above the balcony was a roof that protected us from the rain, but it only stretched so far. I pulled a seat closer to the railing, letting the rain's chill prick at my skin. It was like a cold, comforting blanket.

I embraced it all—the smell, the feel, the reason behind it. Raindrops pierced my skin like tiny icicles, but I accepted it as if it were a warm embrace.

My gaze rose to the night sky, beyond the tears falling to the earth. The pitch-black canvas was adorned with brightly lit stars, like freckles on a face. It made me ponder.

Were the stars a sign or a symbol of balance? Despite the darkness, the stars shone bright, refusing to be overshadowed. Darkness didn't win. Not all of the way, at least.

Perhaps the stars represented different lives, still bright and beautiful despite having passed on. The night sky was a comforting blanket over them, a reminder of radiant lives now gone.

I wondered if granny's star was among them, shining in the center of the darkness, just as she had been for me in her time here.

I focused on one star in particular. It was in the middle of the sky. I pieced it as hers.

Through the grief, something else cracked through. The memories of who she was was so beautiful.

A small, sad excuse of a laugh left me at it. It was weak, but still there.

A door opened behind me, and the jolt of my insides told me who it was, immediately. I didn't move. Instead, I sat there, torn between laughter and tears, staring at the stars.

"Maggie," Luke's soft voice called, concern evident. "It's raining, baby. What are you doing out here?"

My gaze remained on the stars, silent.

Luke crouched in front of me, his hand gently stroking my knee through his sweatpants. "Norris," he whispered. "I don't want you to get sick out here—"

"I'm not going back inside."

Luke tilted his head at me, catching up my set attention. He glanced up at the sky, and when he looked back at me, understanding had replaced all else.

"Then..." Nodding, he raised himself from his position. "Neither am I."

"You don't have to." I really wanted him to, though. I didn't want to be alone.

Luke pulled the second chair close, letting the rain soak him, too. We sat in silence, our knees touching. In different circumstances, I would have smiled at the gesture, but right now, I found more comfort in it than anything else.

We both gazed at the sky, passing glances back and forth. Luke didn't comment on how absurd I must look, and I appreciated that.

Even without a speech to support us, his presence was just as enough. It was saving the soul that I had thought damned for eternity.

Breaking the silence, I whispered, "Granny loved the rain." I wasn't sure if my words could be heard over the downpour, but I continued, "She used to take Jax and me on drives in it. Sometimes, she'd turn up the music, roll down the window, and let the rain touch her skin. At home, I'd find her outside, lying on a blanket, no jacket or umbrella. I started joining her when my thoughts became too much." A chuckle escaped despite the circumstances. "We ended up getting sick half the time, but it didn't matter." I didn't need to look at Luke to know he was already focused on me. "I know it sounds stupid, but—"

"It doesn't." He bumped my knee. "Tell me another one."

My heart felt like it was mending, piece by piece. "She loved that movie, uh..." My eyes fell as I attempted to recall the name. "It's the musical with Julie Andrews, and she's a babysitter—"

"The Sound Of Music," Luke solved with a chuckle. "A masterpiece."

I laughed along. "She would have loved you even more if she heard you say that. It was her favorite."

"She would always put it on when I woke up from my nightmares or during a panic attack. While we watched it, we'd eat together to calm me down—orange juice, strawberry pie, frozen jello grapes, curly fries, khinkali dumplings. Basically, an entire dinner." My head lolled back on the chair as I laughed softly. "I remember we found a spot fifteen minutes from town that sells those dumplings, and that was the first place she went when we got to town. They were amazing."

Luke chuckled. "I bet they were." His hand wrapped around my knee, squeezing gently. "Keep going, baby."

"When she wasn't sick, she loved swimming, so the beach was her go-to." The rain continued to touch my skin until I was flushed. "She loved it—the sand, the water. She always took Jax and me, despite claiming we got on her nerves and ruined the experience." I laughed again. "It was more than true but still funny."

I pointed at a star above. "That star. I've been looking at it, wondering and hoping that it's her."

Luke lifted his head to follow my finger, squinting as he searched. When his gaze paused, he smiled. "Dixie Reeves."

My smile mirrored his. "Dixie Reeves." My hand began to fall, but Luke caught it and brought it to his lips, planting a gentle kiss on the back.

Even through the chill of the storm, the warmth of his kiss broke through. Our eyes remained locked.

Without a word, Luke rose and moved to my chair. In no time, I was settled on his lap.

My head found its place against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. We were both soaked, but it didn't matter.

The sob that followed threatened to tear my throat apart, but before it could, the realization of my actions hit me hard. I hadn't been quick enough to catch it before it shredded my soul.

"It's okay, baby," Luke whispered against my hair. "It's all going to be okay."

"I didn't go to my grandmother's funeral," I sobbed. Between the thumping of blood in my ears and the rain, my voice was broken. "I didn't go because I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I didn't want to see her like that, to believe she was really... I didn't respect her wishes. I didn't honor her, Luke. I-I didn't—"

"Maggie, don't say that—"

"It's true." I shook my head at myself, at everything. "She wanted me there with Jax. That was my last chance to say goodbye, to kiss her, to hug her, and I was too selfish—"

Luke pulled me back, so we were face to face. Despite my astray appearance, he never let his admiration dip.

"Maggie," he said firmly. "You made a mistake, but there isn't shit that we can do to go back to erase it. As much as I wish we could, to take that look from your face right now..." His voice broke, but he shook it off. "Angel, we can't. It already happened. All we can do is move forward and try to make the best of it."

I nodded slowly. Something in his words reached me, easing the turmoil in my head.

"Those memories you were just telling me about, Maggie..." My eyes drifted shut as he kissed me. "They're beautiful, and they're yours. They haven't gone anywhere, even if she has. Her love for you, your love for her, her pride, her impact on you and your brother, they're all still there."

My heart tightened. "You really think that?"

Without hesitation, he replied, "I know that." His hand moved from my hair to cradle my cheek. "And I know you. You're going to get through this, just like everything else. It won't be an easy, quick journey, but it's still going to be one, either way. I'll be right there with you, holding your hand through it all. It's all going to be okay."

Each word spoken was another that melted my cool soul into the one that recognized his love. The one that had been revived because of his love. My heart still wasn't entirely mended, but it had stopped screaming.

I didn't know if it was due to mental exhaustion or Luke's calming presence, but my mind was finally at peace. The storm still raged outside, but within me, it was a tolerable hum.

Sniffling, I met Luke's gaze, which hadn't wavered. He was still stroking my cheeks, his eyes heavy with love.

"It's me and you," I murmured, leaning closer. He nodded, replying, "Always."

Between the air that had been returned to my lungs, I managed to give a small smile. "Two impulsive assholes in love, right?"

Luke's chuckle was low. "Two impulsive assholes in love." At my smile, he grinned before it softened, our eyes meeting as he said, "Soulmates, Norris."

"Soulmates," that single word echoed through me, but it was already familiar since I had long ago given that title to him. Even when I refused to accept it, it was already there, just waiting for it's exposure. I couldn't do without it, now.

We stayed in that embrace until the emotional storm inside me subsided, even though the rain outside showed no sign of relenting.

"Let's get inside, okay?" Luke whispered against my temple. I nodded, and he gently lifted both of us from the chair.

Once inside, he took care of closing the curtains and then set me down.

"Here's what we're gonna do, okay?" He nodded toward the bathroom. "I don't want you to catch a cold, so we need to get you out of these clothes, and under hot water. I'm gonna get room service to bring something hot to drink to try to help the cold, and then you're gonna stay in my arms for the rest of the night, okay?"

I nodded again and found my voice. "Okay."

Luke craned his neck to kiss me, and I returned it with as much passion as I could muster. All I knew was peace the longer he held me to him. Nothing could express my gratitude and love adequately. It was beyond words.

When we pulled back, my heart was racing, and I had to hold onto his arms to keep steady. The turn of my heart couldn't be mistaken around the man it beat for.

I looked into his eyes with all the honesty in my heart. "I love you."

Luke's expression softened. "I love you." He kissed the top of my head and murmured against it, "I'd have to be a dead man to ever stop, Maggie."

My eyes closed briefly, and when they opened, a genuine smile graced my lips. After another kiss, Luke squeezed my hand and turned to get stared.

At least an hour passed by the time we finished. Luke had ordered tea to help soothe the cold from me a bit more, as well as food. I only ended up eating half, so he finished it off before laying down with me.

Luke held me close, my head resting on his chest, both of us under a thick blanket. His hand was under the hoodie on my body, stroking it up and down my backside in a way that nearly lured me to sleep. The room was filled with the soft hum of the television.

I was the first to break the silence by saying quietly, "I'm sorry for making you leave town with me."

Tenderness filled Luke's expression as he shook his head. Lifting a hand, he stroked the side of my face with his knuckles, as gentle as ever.

"You didn't make me do shit, baby. Wherever you are is wherever I am, you know that. We'll stay for however long you need," he reassured me softly. "You don't have a thing to apologize for."

My gaze softened as I reached up to grab his hand, squeezing and bringing it to my chest.

"Jeez," I teased lightly, kissing our joined hands. "Do I really stress you out that much, pretty boy?"

Luke chuckled before replying with a grin, "Nah, but I'll admit it: my heart definitely hasn't been the same ever since you pulled over to help me with my car that day." We both shared a grin before he added with a shrug, "At this rate, I'm gonna need to set an appointment with my cardiologist soon, Norris."

For the first time in days, a genuine, wholehearted laugh escaped me. Luke's smile grew as he watched.

Once I had settled, I asked, "Is there a chance you grabbed my phone from Jax's house?"

I knew Jax was probably spitting fireballs by now, and as guilty as I felt about stressing him out, I couldn't go back to change it. Only forward.

Luke released me and fetched my phone. As soon as he was back in bed, I moved to sit between his legs. He pulled the blanket over us, and dropped his chin to my shoulder.

My phone was filled with messages and missed calls, all from my brother, Tony, Kimberly, and Raven. I knew I would have to address them, but right now, I was too tired and emotionally drained.

Past my brother's curse filled texts, I went to the pictures he sent.

My lungs shrunk as I stared at the images from my grandmother's funeral. I saw people I didn't recognize, but in the front row, there was Jax, Tony, and our friends, embracing each other as they paid their respects to my grandmother.

I scrolled to the next picture, seeing the casket, white and shiny with her name engraved. It was a solemn moment.

Luke's arms tightened around me, reminding me that he was there. I would have thanked him for it if my throat wasn't so swollen.

I hadn't realized that my finger was pressed against the screen until I saw the picture move. It was a Live Photo.

I probably shouldn't watch it for my own sake, but I couldn't help myself.

I pressed down, again. I heard the eulogy being read by the priest, but I didn't pay attention to that alone. Behind the line of gravestones, I saw something. A shadow.

I peered closely, my face almost touching the screen. In the background, I saw a shadow, a tall figure in black clothing with a dark hat. Brown, almost black hair spilled out from under the cap.

I knew Luke was confused but didn't say anything. I tapped the screen again, hoping for a wider frame to identify the person. From their stature, I knew that it was a man, but he obviously didn't want to be seen since he was so far back.

I swiped again, this time to a video. It was short, but maybe it could kill my curiosity. I watched intently as the person remained still, unnaturally so.

Just as the video began to end, his head raised from its position, giving me his eyes. And, in that moment, I didn't know a thing other than the devil.

My father's eyes stared right back into my own. With the distance, it was hard to decipher, so I knew no one else had caught it, but I wouldn't miss it. Not in a million years.

My chest seized under the panic. "Oh my god."

Luke turned me so that we had a view of each other. The furrow of his brows was all I caught before the panic made my vision go red.

"M-my dad," I managed to tremble out. "My dad, he's—"

I felt the phone get taken from my hand. It only took him a couple of seconds before he caught what I did. "Fuck," he hissed.

My body trembled uncontrollably, and Luke quickly took the phone and placed it out of my reach. It didn't matter; the image was already seared into my mind.

My father had disrespected my grandmother's funeral just by showing. He wanted to make it personal. He had no idea that I'd be the one to see the video, so he had showed just for his own pleasure and ego.

"He was at her funeral," I managed to breathe out. "He was there, and I wasn't, and he...he—"

"Shit," Luke hissed, turning my body around so that he could take hold of me. "Come here, Maggie."

Tugging my limp body closer, he didn't stop until he had me tucked under his figure. I wished I could stay in the position forever.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered against me. "I'm so fucking sorry, Maggie."

I broke all over again. Just seeing my father for a couple of seconds, through another screen, and in another town, was enough to fuck with me, but seeing him disrespect my grandmother did it for me.

The hatred was making my blood hot, but the mix of guilt and sadness rose over it all. If I had been there, I would have seen him before anyone else. Even though my mourning, I would have caught his presence.

I could have ended everything in a matter of seconds. I could have stopped him from doing that to my grandmother's memory, and her resting place.

Luke kissed my cheek, my head, face, lips. All of it. "It's going to be okay." His voice was soft, full of so many promises and reassurances. His arms tightened. "I promise you it's all going to be okay, Maggie."

I didn't respond, because I couldn't. I wished it was true.