"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." ——
Richard Puz
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Chapter 78
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Maggie

Luke passed a sweet smile my way as he handed my frozen yogurt over. "Your toppings made me sick as shit, but you looked cute saying them, so I won't shit talk you this time."

At my laugh, he chuckled and took a seat in front of me, scooting close enough to be in reaching distance. In his hands were his own cup of frozen yogurt, but it was nearly finished, already.

Smiling, I leaned over and kissed his cheek until it lifted. "Thank you." Before I got too far, he returned the kiss to my lips in a peck. "You know it wasn't a problem, Norris."

I stirred some of the toppings around with my spoon to allow me a minute. My hunger had been delayed as of late, but it was starting to come back.

Luke and I had been out of town for a week. We decided to extend our days at the hotel, something I appreciated, heavily. It was a big help. Half of the time was spent in the hotel room, grieving, and the other half was doing things to help that grieving a bit.

I couldn't say that I felt perfect, but my mind had definitely cleared enough to be sustainable. The grey clouds had given me just enough light to find passage back to a good, light headspace.

Since my dad had been in town, Luke had hired someone to check for his whereabouts. That was the main problem, though. My father wasn't going to stay in one place for too long.

They hadn't found him ever since his appearance at the funeral. It worsened my nerves, considering how physically close he had been to everyone I cared about. I tried not to freak too much, considering my state of mind already, but it was still troubling.

I hadn't spoken much to anyone else, but I made sure to check on Jax. I needed to have that moment to myself, but I knew that I wasn't grieving on my own. She was just as much his grandmother as she was mine.

Kade and Levi had left Luke several messages once the girls started to worry. He called, and reassured Kimberly and Raven that I was fine, and would be back soon. Luke had them take Fang to the kennel during our week away. We had gotten back into town yesterday, but wouldn't be picking him up until later.

The warmth of a familiar hand trailed up through mine. When I looked up, Luke's eyes were on mine.

"Hey, brat," he smiled, softly. I returned it, lowering my spoon back into the cup. "Hey, prick."

Softly laughing, he squeezed my hand. "How are you feeling, beautiful?"

My heart softened at his concern, as it had done everytime. "I'm okay, I promise." I had never expected the statement to be true, but for right now, it truly was. My eyes lowered to my cup with a silly smile. "The yogurt and your rude ass critique about my toppings definitely helped some, too."

Luke chuckled. "I'm glad, angel." His smile made my own grow as he leaned forward to kiss my forehead, his skin brushing the biggest blast of heat against mine. "Remember, if you get tired, just tell me, and we can try again tomorrow, okay?"

"I know." I smiled back at him. "Thank you."

When we got home, I didn't want to stay still for too long, so I requested we go and work on Luke's building, today. I had to practically beg him since he didn't believe in our deal, anymore, but he ended up giving in.

Our deal definitely didn't exist any longer, but my love and want for the business still did. With the events of our lives lately, from our breakup, to the car accident, and to where we were now, we hadn't been here in weeks. And, with everything else that had gone on between us, we hadn't been as consistent as we should have been.

We were more than behind schedule. The time had been extended by at least a couple of months, but Luke wasn't as concerned with that as he was me. As much as I appreciated it, it wasn't all about me, and I refused to be selfish as if it was. I wanted to see him reach his own goals, too, as well as helping in any way I could.

We continued to eat our frozen yogurt with side conversion. I was starting to get my appetite back now, thankfully.

I glanced over our progress for the day with a fond eye. We had begun painting on one of the other rooms. There were ten in total, so we would be stuck on that alone for a while, then we would have to get the floors. It would be a timely process.

My smile softened the longer I thought it over. I still remembered when Luke told me about the intent of the building. Now that I knew everything I did about him, I knew he would achieve it, and I was so proud of him for already starting to do so.

"Luke."

His face was full of concentration as he attempted to catch a gummy bear with his spoon. "Yeah, angel?"

Amused, I took his spoon, and grabbed a couple of gummy bears for him, before handing the cup back to him. "I was just wondering: what do you want to use the other rooms for?" I looked to him in curiosity. "Are they all going to be for the training?"

His furrowed brows relaxed as he met my look. "Some are going to be used to hold the resources for the children, of course. The others for training and practice. Since there's so many rooms, though, I don't know about the rest, yet."

"I love that." My head bobbed as I took another bite of my yogurt. "It sounds amazing."

"Thanks, Norris." His lips lifted at me, the sight heavenly. "Do you have any ideas, though?"

I had my answer, immediately, but I wasn't sure if it were my place to voice, since it was his building, and not mine. Then again, though, he did ask.

"Maybe self defense classes for little girls and boys going through what I did. Maybe a support group, or something like that, too. It does a lot of help to be heard and understood, to just get your shit out, and it can honestly mean the world. Sometimes, that's what people need in order to heal, especially children."

Luke's expression softened with understanding. "That sounds perfect."

I smiled at him. "Really?"

"Fuck yeah." He nodded enthusiastically. "You're giving them the things that you didn't have. You could change a lot of lives by doing it, too."

My expression softened. "You think so?"

"I know so."

My smile grew. "I know a lot when it comes to self-defense already, but definitely not as much as I could." I shrugged, then balanced a silly grin at him. "You know, I could probably find a pretty willing trainer to teach me to whoop ass the way you do. Who knows?"

Luke scowled. "I sure as hell do."

I bit into my cheek to hold my laughter. "Is that right?"

Humor swept over his expression as he shrugged. "All I'm gonna say is that that fucker better be real damn good if I find out about you going to him before you do me, Norris."

I laughed, stirring my yogurt that was about to melt. "Maybe I should reweigh my options, then." I sunk back into the chair with a light shrug. "I know it couldn't happen, but it would just be how I did things, personally."

"Who said that it couldn't happen?"

At this, my eyes snapped up to his. Luke was already looking at me, a smile tipping his lips.

Shrugging, his eyes dipped to his frozen treat. "It's a lot of responsibility, but I know you could handle it, if you wanted it. You could wait until you're finished with school to save some stress, too. You can do anything, and it wouldn't be alone. It would be me and you."

"Wait..." My suspicions raised until I did, too. "What are you saying, exactly?"

Luke placed his yogurt down, scooting closer to me. "What I'm saying is..." He grabbed my hands in his, squeezing. "What would you say to me halving this place with you?"

My eyes widened at him. I was glad I had put my yogurt down, because I surely would have dropped it.

"What?" I breathed out. "You...you can't."

Luke cocked his brow at me. "Who the fuck says I can't?"

"It's your building. Your dream. The money you get will and should be yours, the ratings, the—"

"And, you'll be mine," he shrugged my list off with a neutral expression. "We share everything, Norris. I wouldn't have even gotten this place to where it is now without you."

I blinked back at him. He wouldn't have even had to get it to where it is had I not vandalized it.

At my growing shock, he smiled, squeezing my hands. "Maggie, baby, I saw the way your face lit up when you were talking about what you wanted to do. I only wanna see that and you grow. If helping other children and people who went, or are going through what you did does that, then I'll do anything to aid in it. I wanna share everything with you, and I want to do and see everything with you, Maggie. Especially something that makes you as happy as you seemed talking about that."

My chest trembled under a breath. Out of everything that had occurred between us that had shocked the fuck out of me, this was probably number one.

I knew my response, already. It grazed my throat the moment I heard his request. As he had said, my face lit up for a reason.

I wanted to give the things that I didn't have for so long, everything I wished for, and wanted as a little girl. It wouldn't be easy, but the end result would be worth it.

But, I didn't want to give a response, right now. As I said, this was his building and something that he had thought of himself. I would give him a while to remember that, just in case he wanted to change his mind.

Luke was watching me with patience. At my hesitation, I saw his lips part, but I stopped him.

"I'll think about it. I promise I will." I squeezed his hand tight, the connection making my chest full. "Thank you so much for offering, Luke, honestly."

He nodded, a reassuring smile on. "Take your time. I just want you content, even if that means rejecting my offer. It's all about your comfort, Norris." He bumped my knee with a reassuring smile. "But, if you do accept, just know that I'll teach you everything you need to know, too." Shrugging, he picked his cup back up. "We can make it this whole partner, husband and wife type of thing."

The ending left my skin flush, but I had to tease him. "Husband and wife?" I laughed, softly, despite the near stop of my heart at it. Just saying it aloud had me dizzy in the best way possible. "Is that your version of proposing, pretty boy?"

Luke caught on to what he had said, then, the realization making his eyes widen a bit. "Whatever, Norris." The color in his cheeks darkened before he waved me off. "Let's finish our yogurt, though."

My laughter doubled at him. His blush slowly faded as we finished our frozen yogurt, and at my teasing, he managed to hauled me into his lap.

In the middle of our next conversation, I heard his phone vibrate. Luke kissed my cheek as he lifted his head from my shoulder, lifting the both of us to grab it from its pocket.

On habit, my eyes fell to it. Before they could graze the screen, Luke was slyly positioning it from my view, so that only he could see it.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Someone important?"

Quickly reading it over, he kept the phone from my line of sight. After reading it, he shook his head, placing it back into his pocket.

His eyes raised to mine, a smile on them and on his lips. I could see it's falsehood without even trying. "Nope."

"Luke," I teased, chuckling. I kissed his cheek before leaning back to look at him. "If you're cheating on me, I promise you, we'll both be on the local news by the morning. Dateline by the end of the month. Unsolved Mysteries by the end of the decade. All of it."

Luke tilted his head, his mouth twitching. "You honestly scare the shit out of me sometimes, baby, you know that, right? But I love that about you more than you know, too." At my chortle, he joined it, draping a kiss to the side of my neck. "Let's get going, though. I have to stop somewhere before they close."

We exchanged a quick kiss, and I stood up from his lap. Of course, I was only joking about the cheating part, since I absolutely trusted him, but he was still being weird.

As soon as we finished cleaning the mess left behind from today, Luke locked up the store, and set the security system back into place. We headed straight for his car, then.

The ride was slow, or maybe it was just me making it slow with my curiosity. We were both playing with the other's hand when I turned my attention to our surroundings.

It was a pretty day. The sun was out, kissing and beaming down on everything it touched while never being too harsh, either. It would be getting darker in about half an hour. The winds were blowing to the point of me being excited at feeling the breeze's cool hands through my hair.

Granny would have hated it. She loved winter. She despised being hot, since she claimed it made her lazy, but it always gave her a perfect excuse to go to the beach, so she didn't hate it too much.

A wholehearted smile raised my lips to the sky. It was small, but still one, nonetheless. The more I lounged in the memory, the more a calming seat appeared from under me.

"Maggie."

My eyes lifted from the window at my name. "Mhm?"

Luke was already looking at me. A smile that made his dimples pop, and my soul whole was waiting for me.

Grabbing my hand, he brought it to his lips, sending the spot into tingle. "You know that I love you, right?" The softness of his voice only added to the harmony his words sung to my heart. "That I will forever, and every day after that, too."

Everything that could light up inside of me did just that. The smile I already had on softened at him. "As long as you know that I love you even more."

An avalanche of emotions poured through his expression, while colliding with my own at the same time. Rolling it back, he smirked at me, the sight being enough to make me woozy.

"Oh, fuck yeah, Norris." Chuckling, he returned his eyes to the road, his smirk settling into a silly grin. "You know, I've been meaning to look through the house for the shrine you probably made of me, too."

"Shut up." I tried to hold back my laughter, but it slipped before I could catch it. "You're one to talk." Luke joined my laughter, causing my smile to grow, "You know you love it."

"Not more than I love you."

My soul warmed at him, and his. I had to pry my eyes from his beautiful face to stop from getting stuck in the masterpiece forever. When I looked back in front of me, though, I had to blink at how quickly the scenery had changed.

We were at the beach.

I looked to Luke, confused. Without a word, he turned to grab something from the backseat, and when he came back, one of my tankinis were in his hands.

He placed it in my lap. "You might want to wear this. My windows are tinted, if you want to change right here."

I raised my eyebrow at him. "You're not planning to kill me, are you?" I changed into the clothing, despite my suspicions. "I gotta give it to you, though, it was real smart of you to butter me up the way you did."

A humored glance passed me. "Is that what it's called, Norris?"

I nodded, pulling the straps up my shoulders. It was a moss green tankini, with bottoms that reached the beginning of my thighs. At beaches, I didn't usually wear regular bikinis because of the scars on my stomach, so I usually wore these.

Still amused, Luke didn't say anything else. Instead, he got out of the car, then went to my side to help me out.

My suspicions were worsening, but when he had me in his embrace, my mind was running through a field of love. I couldn't help it.

"Maggie." A finger tipped my chin to him, until we had each other's eyes. The admiration in his expression deepened. "You know I love you, right?"

Yep. I'm definitely dead.

If the assumption were true, I was a goner, because with the way he was looking at me, my legs were going to jelly.

Fuck it. If his face was the last sight I had, I was willing to go out like this.

I leaned in to kiss him, my lips not stopping until I thought them numb. "Mhm, and I love you." I pecked his lips, again. Leaning back, his expression was spilling with waves, and crashing right back into mine.  "So, so much."

His grin nearly blinded me with its beauty. "Let's go, baby." Grabbing my hand, he didn't wait for a response before he was pulling us along. "We're a bit late, because of the yogurt."

With the way he was walking, he definitely had a destination in mind. "Late for what?"

Nothing came, but a smile. Squeezing my hand, he only dropped it to loop our middle fingers together.

The wind made the both of our strands of hair fly in no particular direction. Our feet continued to sink into soft sand that nearly made me think I was floating.

I stared into the side of Luke's face as if it held all of the answers. God knows I weren't getting any from him.

I thought the beach empty, from what I could see, but I could hear the mix of voices from somewhere, so I knew it not to be true.

I removed my eyes from his, and looked in front of me, instead but what I saw made my heart stop. It was far, but my vision wouldn't miss it.

Paces away from the sea was a large, secluded section of the beach being used. On top of the sand were fluffy, white duvet covers, all together and stacked on at least two more layers to create a comfortable grounding. Over it were several white picnic mats, with comfortable beach chairs on top of those.

In front of it all was a large inflatable screen, with a projector already presenting a movie on it. When I heard Julie Andrew's voice in the background, I recognized it for what it was. The Sound Of Music.

My heart squeezed so tightly in my chest, I thought it close to bursting. "Luke..."

Kissing my hand, he dropped his to my waist and squeezed. "Come on, Norris." Over shaky legs, I managed to keep up with his movements, but he was mainly supporting my weight from here.

When we grew closer, I placed the disembodied voices I had heard earlier. My friends. Jax and Tony. They were all here, surrounding the other, as well as the layout.

What I saw in front of them didn't help my weakening walls one bit.

On either side of the large screen, a number of folding wood beach tables were positioned, with food to top them off. There was orange juice. Strawberry pie. Curly fries. Even the grapes, and Khinkali dumplings were here. On one of the tables sat Memorial lanterns, enough for all of us, just waiting to be lit and sent off.

My hand fell to my stomach that was twisting in knots, now. A gasp had spilled out long ago, but that was all I managed before the roll of tears followed up in my eyes.

"What you told me in the mountains: the parts that you knew about a person, the days and memories you shared together..." Luke said from my side softly. "We're going to celebrate your grandmother's today." 

My blurring gaze swept over him, but I could barely manage to keep it. "You did this?" I managed to get out.

His thumb swept over my cheek, where I was sure a tear had fell. The softness in his gaze dug into a deeper hole at it. "I did. Not all on my own, though. It was hard getting everyone together with the short notice—"

Before he could finish, I had thrown myself at him.

"It's perfect," I whispered into his chest, my tears already dampening his shirt. "It's perfect, Luke. Thank you...I can't even—"

"Don't thank me for any of this, angel. I promise I don't want it." He hugged me back even tighter, stroking a hand through my hair. At my tears, his expression gentled as he wiped them with his thumbs. "Let's go and see the others."

Trembling over a sigh, I nodded. My tears weren't stopping, but I continued to wipe at my cheeks, anyway as we walked along.

The ocean waves were crashing in a soothing hum in the background. I would probably get in the water later, but with the weight of my heart right now, I would probably go under.

As my the sand tickled my feet from below, that familiar comfort from earlier cracked through my hardened surface. It was like a warm hand was chipping and pressing at the icy mold my mind had started to build, again. It had only came down in the guest place, because of Luke of I.

Jax and I caught eyes, first. Grief echoed through his eyes, but it was silenced with relief at the sight of me. I tried to make my own shadow it, but I didn't think it possible with the amount.

Quickly, he released Tony, and crossed over the blankets to reach me. We caught each other in a hug.

"Hey, loser," I teased into his neck, sniffling.

I winced as he yanked at a strand of my hair. "You little—" His shaky sigh against me morphed into a curse. "I'm going to kick your ass, you know that, right?" At my laugh, he chuckled in my ear, before tightening our hug. "Please don't ever run like that, again, Maggie. Please."

I took the words and locked them up for keeps. "Don't tempt me."

I was the first to break the hug, but I kept my hands in his. His red-rimmed eyes collided with mine, and in it, we mirrored an understanding.

"Granny would have loved all of this so much." He glanced around the peaceful scenery with a ghostly smile. "She would have loved Luke even more if she knew he was behind it."

I nodded in agreement, my sniffles soft. It was more than true.

"We missed you so much, Maggie." Tony passed me a warm smile as he stepped forward for a hug. In each others embrace, he said, "Washington's been boring as shit without you."

Soft laughter tricked past my tongue. "I'm sorry for abandoning you with the boring twin for so long." I heard his chuckle in my ear, before we stepped back from our hug. "We'll have to make sure to set up a couples night or two."

He grinned back at me. "We bring the food; you and Luke bring the expensive wine."

Laughing, I nodded in agreement, but paused at the movement in the corner of my eye. Kimberly and Raven were the next to come closer, sweet expressions already on.

I smiled through the suppression of a sob as they both embraced me. I needed it now more than ever.

Kimberly squeezed my back. "Hey, beautiful." Raven added to it, softly, "We missed you."

I buried my face into their hair until the floral and fruity scent mixed in. "I missed you both." Either girl tightened their grip before I heard Raven say, "We have some things for you and Jax."

I gave a weak nod. "Okay."

Everyone was here. There were a number of gifts waiting next to the tables of food, but the girls held the main in their hands, I guessed.

Kimberly released me to return to Kade, who was holding their gift. She handed the large bag to me with a smile. "We hope you like it."

As soon as I reached in, my finger grazed a soft, plushy material. When I pulled it out, a large, brown teddy bear was in my hand, already dressed in a light blue and white tie-dye jumpsuit.

"Tap it's chest a bit," Kimberly smiled, nodding at it.

I did, making sure to apply extra pressure. Just as I got it, my grandmother's soothing voice sounded out from behind the stuffing. I love you.

It was as sweet, and as delicate as I remembered, so easily flowing through my ears. I had a lot of pictures and videos with my grandmother, but none of her saying I love you, so they had to have gotten it from Jax.

Sweeping my eyes to to Kimberly, I didn't give a warning before hugging her. "Thank you so much, Kimberly."

"We made sure to get Jax one, too." I felt her squeeze down. "It was Kade's idea."

I peered over her shoulder to Kade, who was already looking at me.

"Shit like that helped me a lot when Kacen died, so..." He shrugged, but I noted the weight of his words. His brown eyes flickered over to mine. "Don't lose it, though. I won't get you another one if you do."

I chuckled at that. "I'll try not to. Thank you so much." He nodded in understanding, moving his gaze to the ocean. Kimberly had mentioned a couple of years back how uncomfortable funerals and things like that made him, and I more than understood why, so I appreciated him showing up, as well as the gift.

Raven was next. Levi was to her side, but at the same time, not. There was a notable space between them, physically and emotionally. They were playing it off for the peace, though.

Raven's smile raised at me. "I hope you like it." Levi passed his bag to me, his sweet gaze mirroring his words, "And, if you need anything, don't ever hesitate to ask, Maggie."

I smiled appreciatively at them. "Thank you both."

Raven passed me a small jewelry box, then, a gift bag that nearly broke my arm to carry. I went for the jewelry first. My trembling fingers barely managed to crack it open, but I ended up getting it.

Inside was a stainless, silver bracelet with a hanging charm in the shape of a heart. It wasn't until I brought it closer that I saw the picture of my grandmother and I in it.

"Raven," I managed to squeeze out past my burning throat. My glistening eyes raised to her. "Thank you."

She stepped forward to embrace me in a hug. "Of course." I nearly tore up all over again as she kissed my head. "We'll always be here to honor Dixie's memory with you and Jax, Maggie. Always."

I squeezed her even tighter, my mind full. If I were hurting her, she didn't say anything, but instead secured me even deeper into her.

I broke apart from our hug at the sound of the movie in the background, where "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" was beginning to play. It made my soul lift. It was like my grandmother was here, right now. That song was her favorite from the movie.

Another hand rubbed at my backside, and at my body's physical and emotional reaction, I knew who it belonged to.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped or if it's all too much, baby," I heard Luke say, hesitantly. "I just wanted to—"

I turned around to pull him in. My trembling arms barely formed a grip around his body.

"Thank you," I whispered into him. "Thank you so much, Luke."

Luke returned my hug with the same weight of emotion, marking my head with a series of kisses. Warmth clouded through my system until it was all I knew.

"I love you," I whispered, my hand digging into his backside to keep him to me. "I love you so fucking much."

Luke kissed my forehead, and through it, I could feel how ferocious his heart had gotten. My own mirrored it to the last detail, as hard and as alive as ever for him.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear, holding me to him until I could hear his words before he even said them, "Soulmates, Norris."

My heart nearly leaped from my chest, but I was okay with it since I knew exactly whose hands it would land into.

I hugged him, and I knew I wouldn't let go until my arms ached. "Soulmates."

***

My grandmother left a letter for me.

Jax had given it to me just hours ago. He said that he had gotten his the day she died, but kept mine to allow me a bit more time. I was a bit angry at first, but it was a smart idea.

Whatever was in this letter were her parting words to me. The last letter, and the last words I would ever receive from her.

The very thought made me...I don't even know.

I heard a chair scrape from my side. Luke walked over, a hand going to the back of my neck. It started to stroke the shaky skin until I settled back into it.

"I'm going to give you a minute alone, yeah?" He leaned down to kiss my head. "Fang and I are gonna go for a walk around the block." His finger tipped my chin so that I would look at him. His eyes lowered to the letter in my hands, then returned to me. The reassurance in his expression grew. "Take your time, Maggie, okay?"

My lips lifted, despite the weight of everything on my shoulders. "Okay." Before he turned, I grabbed his hand. Once his eyes met mine, I tried my hardest to mirror the truth with that and my words, "Thank you, Luke." I didn't just mean for this specific moment.

The time at the beach had definitely left an impact. We all sat and watched The Sound of Music while eating the dumplings and the desserts. We talked, laughed, and cried, then sent off the memorial lanterns. We honored my grandmother together in the best way possible. She would have loved it.

On the way home, Luke had driven by my grandmother's grave with me to visit. He had already bought her her favorite flowers: belladonna lilies that were as beautiful as can be.

It had all left an impact on me. I felt...better, I believe? If not better, then definitely not as terrible as I did before. There was a major difference.

My lungs weren't as strained. My heart felt less heavy, as if there weren't a ten ton pound elephant on it, any longer. I had gotten another chance to say goodbye to my grandmother, as well as honor her with the people she knew were best for me.

Luke and I had gotten home an hour ago. It was nearing midnight, now. Before we left the beach, though, Jax had stopped me to give me my letter.

I hadn't opened it, yet.

I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I was right on the thin line of uncertainty, and curiosity. The second was much more dominant, though.

I craned my neck, and Luke did the same, dropping a kiss to my lips. Our lips followed their own journey, outlined by hot sparks of energy. The feeling only built until my body was as warm as Luke's felt.

Slowly, we pulled back, but I kept my fingers crossed in his hair. "I love you."

His lips curved into a smile as beautiful as him, his eyes heavy. "I love you."

Luke pecked my lips, again, before calling to Fang, who passed by me for ear massages, and attention. Luke rolled his eyes once he saw me give it.

I chuckled as I watched the both of them leave. My boys.

My eyes lowered to the envelope in my hands. My name was written in perfect handwriting, my grandmother's handwriting. Beautiful, elegant.

I can do this.

My heart was beginning to beat so hard, it hurt. My grip on the envelope wasn't doing any better.

I breathed in once. Held it. Let it go. Then, opened the letter.

Dear Maggie,

I'm not gonna start this off with some sentimental, cry baby, bullshit. I'll start with honesty.
If you're reading this, my lovely girl, then I'm gone, by now. Gone. Dead. Whatever.
And, if you're reading this, then I know that your brother has finally given you your letter.
And, I also know that you're probably pissed at me for three things amongst many.
The first being that you didn't get this on the day of my passing. The second being that you and Jax weren't with me during my last hours. The third being that I didn't tell you and your brother about how bad the cancer had gotten.
I'll address the first one before anything.
You overdramatic son of a...beaut.
Ha. Didn't expect that, did you? You and your brother aren't getting a single dime from me in the swear jar, anymore.
Back to the point.
In your brother's letter, I told him to wait until he thought it best to give your letter to you. I know you don't understand why I did that, so I'll say my most honest answer.
It's because I know you, baby. I know your fears, your dreams, both spoken and unspoken. Your humor. Your mechanisms. Your heart.
Your beautiful heart.
Just like that big head of yours, your heart matches it.
I know how much of a beating it's already taken. I know how many times it's been broken. I know how much you blame yourself for so many things. I know that, and, it pains me to every day to do so.
But, I'll say this. Leaving this world, Maggie...my most precious experience other than knowing you and your brother is the fact that that same heart is still beating. It's pumping. It's fighting.
Just like you. Just like you're going to continue to do, whether you like it or not. (This is a threat; I take full responsibility for any paranormal harm done after it being given.)
Second point, because you keep getting me all distracted.
Easy. I didn't tell you how bad the cancer had gotten because I didn't want you to spend months on end stressing over something that you couldn't control. That's it.
Third.
I know you were hurt about not being with me in my final moments, but I'm gonna be honest.
I don't give a single floating fuck. Not one.
You would have broken down in a way that would have killed me to watch. I couldn't let that happen with either of us. I don't want our last memories with the other to be seeing each other cry. I want us to laugh, to smile, to reminisce, maybe cry a bit for dramatics.
I promise you, Maggie. I was so happy to hear that you and your brother wouldn't have to witness it. I told the doctors not to call either of you for a reason.
I made the decision, Maggie. Not you.
You both were living and enjoying your lives with the people you love most. The people that I remember you used to think you'd never find. Here they are, though.
There's nothing, but pride in that, and in me for watching you get that.
I know how broken you must feel, right now, and as much as that hurts me, I know for a fact that you have the best people around you to help you through that. That makes me more relieved and happy than you know.
Just like you. You made me so, so happy, Maggie. You taught me so much: strength, courage, perseverance. Love. You and your brother taught me a kind of love that won't ever be disfigured.
Never. Not in life and never in death.
And, even in death, I'm telling you, I'm promising you, that love has only grown beyond its limits.
Don't blame yourself for any of this, sunshine. You don't have a single reason to.
I wanted you to enjoy your time with your friends, with Luke, with Jax and Tony. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to love. I wanted you to live your life.
I want you to live.
Love. Learn.
Live, Maggie.
Do it with yourself. Do it with Luke. With Jax. With Kimberly and Raven. Just live, baby.
That's all I want for you.
That day in the park. I remember how scared you were that you would forget the words so I'm gonna say them right here, for the last time. You'll forever have them, just like you'll forever have me.
You won't dim, Maggie. Not a bit.
You're going to shine on. Every single day.
Appreciate the bad days so that you'll love the good ones even more.
Keep going down that beautiful trail; I've taught you the way, and you're ready to walk your own, now.
I gave you enough memories. Keep them like I'll always keep you, baby.
You're going to be okay, and you're going to remember this above all else: I love you more than you'll ever know, magnificent girl of mine.
Always.
Enough sappy shit, though.
Make sure you tell Luke that I love him, too, as he is apart of our dysfunctional family, now. I want my picture to be first row at you two's wedding, baby.
Also.
Not to brag, but to absolutely brag, too: I've probably gotten my own cloud up here and everything.
I'll make sure to pour down on you extra hard when you need it most.
I love you, Maggie. Forever.

With endless elegance,

Dixie Reeves (The Best Grandmother In The World, for better accuracy.)

P.S. You and your brother need to settle into an annual reunion of my soap operas, you know the one. I kicked you out of my room plenty of times over it. I ended on season seven, episode fifteen. Pick it up from there. You're welcome, sunshine.

I reread the letter four times before it registered in my mind.

Thoughts on top of thoughts were stacking over the other, but I managed to scramble them around enough to get to where I needed to be.

Live. Love. Live.

For my grandmother, I would. For me, I would.

I wouldn't be perfect, far from it, really, but as long as the journey was being travelled, it didn't matter whether I was walking or running it. I think. I'm sure.

My cheeks were waterfalls, now. I hadn't moved from my spot, nor had I moved the letter. All I could do was graze over the inked words, both physically and mentally.

I sniffled, swiping at my cheek with the back of my hand. "I love you, too, grandma," I whispered into the universe, folding the letter back into place. I hoped she got my message like I did hers. "Forever."

Just as I placed the envelope down, I heard the ring through the house that alerted us of the front door being opened. Dog paws slapped against the tiles before I saw Fang, who zoomed right past me, and down the hallway.

"Someone had a good walk." I chuckled through my tears, then raised my gaze to Luke.

When I did, my body stiffened.

His eyes were already on mine, but full of...I wasn't sure.

"Luke?" Slowly, I stood up from my seat. "What's wrong?"

"Kade..." he blinked, shaking his head. The shock on his face made it pale. "He just called me."

My heart fell. "Is he okay?" I grabbed his hand, but just as I squeezed it, the panic hit me even harder. "Is Kimberly okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but..." His heavy gaze snatched mine up until I forced myself to ask, "What is it?"

Luke tucked his phone away. He stepped closer to me, never losing my eyes. It startled me a bit; I hated seeing him speechless, since it was usually for a reason.

"Your dad..." he said. "He's dead."