"The greatest gift our parents ever gave us was each other." – Unknown
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Chapter 31
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Maggie

"Heads or tails?" I questioned, sliding the cool coin in between my fingers.

"Tails." Jax leaned against the counter, his arms crossed. "Shoot it."

The idiot always chooses the losing side.

We both watched as the coin flipped into the air, but I didn't catch it on time. It landed across the counter with a clink, before we both nearly bumped heads trying to make a reach for it. I caught sight of it before Jax snatched it away.

Laughing, I thrust a finger at him. "Heads! We're having steak fingers."

He threw the coin at my chest with a scowl. "Bullshit. You cheated."

I grinned with joy, pinching at his ear. "Denial's an idiot's bliss."

"Yeah, well." He slapped my hand away, rolling his eyes as he walked to the refrigerator. "You should know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He turned his back to me, but I couldn't exactly place why. "You'll see."

"Okay, Madonna," I threw at him. "Quit with the subliminal messages, and just tell me what's up."

I saw his shoulders rise and fall in a shrug as he adjusted the oven temperature. "I'm just saying you and the mayor's bastard have—"

"Don't call him that," I corrected, immediately. "Ever again."

Jax cocked his head, jerking around to face me. A smirk hung across his lips before it went into a full pledged grin. "And, now you're defending him."

I shook my head. "I'm not—" I paused when I realized that I was. "Fine, I am. So what? He's my friend."

"Friend?" he repeated in a teasing tone. "You know, I couldn't help but note a lot of anger behind that statement about him being a bastard."

I shrugged his shit off with a scowl. This was nothing more than me defending my friend. That was what friends did for one another.

"Yeah, well," I started, stepping to the fridge for the steak fries. "I don't wanna hear you repeat that shit, ever again. If you hear anyone else saying it, correct it. I don't give a damn who it is, or what they think they know."

"Gotcha," he nodded, side-eying me. "But, you do realize that you're the one who started it, right?"

I wanted to slam his head against the fridge to knock some sense into him, but refrained. He didn't know what I knew, no one did. I wasn't going to be the one to tell them, either. I wouldn't ever betray Luke in that sense, but I wouldn't ever sit quiet while someone disrespected his name, either.

"And, I take full responsibility, but I was wrong. Everyone who says it is wrong, and they'll figure it out one way or another," I pushed out, glaring at the bag of fries. "Thats it. End of discussion." I was finished with it whether he wanted to see the end or not.

Ironic that I had made fun of Luke for saying that to me just the other day. Oh well. It slipped out.

Jax threw the steak fingers onto the platter, a grin teasing at his lips as he nodded. "I haven't seen your face get this red in a long time, you know. Especially over a friend."

I slammed the door to the refrigerator so hard, it shook the way my temper was about to if he kept this up. "Jax."

"Fine, fine." He raised his hands in surrender, taking a step back just to put enough space between us to stop me from smacking him. "I'll stop."

I huffed, dragging my feet to the stove. I said nothing to his statement, instead pretending to solely be focused on the food, and that alone.

"Tell me what's been going on, though," he started a new conversation from my side. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"You just saw me last night."

Jax rolled his eyes, stepping past me to reach the cabinet. "No shit, dingus. But, I mean really seen you. We've both been so busy lately, and the times that we do see each other, we're usually sleeping."

I nodded in agreement. We'd both been drug through the mud with work and school. Now that I had to be at Luke's building, too, I felt a fraction of the stress Jax did with all of his extracurricular activities, school, boyfriend, and work. It was hectic.

Nonetheless, I missed my brother all the same. Our late night talks, our drives with tunes and food, our stupid activities together, I missed it all. Him.

"I've missed you too, loser," I teased, bumping into his side. "I'm sorry I've been so busy lately, though. I haven't even had time to ask how you've been."

Saying it aloud made me feel pretty shitty. With everything that he'd helped me with, I hadn't been returning the favor, lately.

He shrugged, bumping me back. He did it a little too hard, nearly knocking me off of my feet. I threw a scowl over my shoulder, which he took with a small laugh.

"Everything's been fantastic, honestly. The tips at work have been crazy good, Tony and I have been going steady, and I get to come home to Maggie Norris, notorious, sarcastic womb intruder who just so happens to threaten my life every time she's around. Can't get any better than that."

I laughed at that, my smile lingering. I was more than happy for him. Past the shit that I've had going on, at least one of us was flourishing and content.

The thought that it could get ripped away by a single statement made me go still.

"What about you?" he returned. "Tell me all of the shit that's been going on in Maggie-Land."

Despite the roll of my stomach, I managed to pull a smile. "You know, same old, same old. Kicking ass, and taking names since 2004."

"Of course." The oven beeped, catching Jax's attention. He threw a head nod at me. "I need details, though."

I expected the push. That was what I loved about my brother. There were many things, despite how badly I showed it.

He was everything I wasn't. He wasn't tainted; he was good, he was so pure that even the brightest of jewels wouldn't be enough to match his worth. I wanted him to continue to shine, to blossom and grow without me, an old weed, holding him back.

At least that's what I told myself every time I tried to conjure the conversation up about our dad. It'd been two months since I found out, and two months since I'd told the biggest lie to my brother. I hadn't technically told him, but as Luke mentioned, I was still lying.

I tried, fuck I did. So many times that failed to my own doing. I would choke, or I couldn't even find the right words in the first place.

I knew that I needed to tell him. Every time we talked, or laughed, or hung out, I knew that the conversation would change all of that. That I'd lose it all.

I was a selfish woman, I knew it. Without my brother, all of the darkness that I'd suppressed would come to light, and it would never go into hiding, again. He didn't know how much he helped shield it all. I could hide behind his successes, his jokes and accomplishments, long enough to rewrite another mask of bullshit.

I knew a technically, though. Technically, he had a right to know. They were his parents just as much as they were mine, but since Jax wasn't as involved in our fathers case as me, he wasn't alerted. Despite it, though, I knew I had no right to hold the truth from him when it came to this.

As he babbled about some type of new recipe he was wanting us to try together, my lips drifted into a natural smile. To see him so calm, so strong and happy made me so genuinely happy.

And, I would have to be the one to ruin it.

It was all so conflicting. I didn't want the burden, but it'd been bestowed on me from the moment I took my first breath. I was made to suffer, to be the lesson, and the demonstration.

I didn't want that to be Jax, so I took it all for myself. But, right now, as I watched him snort with laughter at his own corny joke, I knew that I couldn't put myself in danger, and he be the one to suffer, because of it. If something happened to me because of it, he'd never forgive himself.

If I told him, I'd give him a chance to at least prepare himself for the things to come, because I knew, technically, there was no way I was making it out of this shit alive.

I dared all of my confidence to come forth in this moment when I called out, "Jax."

He stopped mid-laugh, his eyes finding mine. "If you're going to make fun of my snort, again, I don't want to hear it. Tony says that it's adorable."

A small chuckle fell from me, my back digging into the counter until it hurt. It allowed some type of relief to what was going to come. "Not this time."

His smile slowly disappeared the longer he observed me over. Like he was trying to crack all of my secrets with that single look. "Is everything okay?"

My gaze fell to my mismatching socks as I shuffled them in place. I tried so fucking hard to say it, but the words felt like dumbbells in my throat.

My response came out heavy, "Everything's fine." Another lie to add to the avalanche.

"Bullshit it is. You know I can read you like a book," he called me out, studying me over closely. "Talk to me, Mags."

I wanted to scream. Cry. I wanted to crumble at his reassuring tone. Right here in this kitchen, I wanted to break in half and spill every single thought and emotion that had tortured me for the past fifteen years.

"Jax, I—"

A ringing cut me off. "It's just Tony." Jax kept his eyes on me, nodding.  "Keep going. I'm listening."

I stared at him, his scrunched brows, his concerned face, his caring, sweet gentle eyes.

And, I knew that couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't break.

Because, in order to do that, I'd have to shed myself of the façade I'd gotten so attached to. I'd have to show myself, bare and all, to this cruel world.

I couldn't do that.

In that bed, bloody and violently ripped away from any sense of comfort, I remembered the promises I made to myself every single time. I remembered all of them, but one was most dominant over the others.

I would never, ever be weak, again. I'd never let anyone see me break, because there would be nothing to break in the first place. Never again.

I sucked in a trembling breath, clashing eyes with him. "It's okay, you can take the call. I was just being dramatic." Another lie.

Jax shook his head, his brows drawing in. "Mags, I'm not leaving you while—"

I stepped forward, placing a reassuring hand on his forearms. "You're not leaving anything." He would have to, and I'd let him. "You're just going to call Tony back. I promise I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Don't break. Don't be weak, Maggie. You're not weak. You're not.

I knew he wanted to press the matter, but with me, that meant nothing. When you had to lie most of your life to survive, you learn a thing or two about appearances.

Kissing the side of my head, he let his hand remain on the back while he sighed out, "I'll be right back, okay? Love you."

"Hate you back." The words were routine between us, but right now, they sounded like I was signing my death wish.

I stared at his backside as he walked to his bedroom. As soon as I heard his door shut, I fell against the counter with a sigh that didn't fix a thing in my aching chest.

Fuck.

I'd been so close to the edge, I nearly tipped over it. Thinking it over now, I knew that I'd dug a deeper hole, while keeping Jax above ground at the same time. I didn't know which one to feel more shittier over.

I knew he'd have questions the moment he came back, ones with answers that I couldn't give. Not right now. Probably not ever.

I fixed my food so quickly, I knew my fingers would have a few burn scars over the next couple of days. I needed to leave the upcoming conversation with Jax before it even started.

Whatever he was talking to Tony about must have been important, because when I went to throw my plate away, he was still in the bedroom. I tried to listen in, but all I got were murmurs and deep, jumbled off conversation.

Whatever, though. If it saved me from having to dwell on another fuckup of mine, I'd take it.

I settled into bed, glaring up at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling. I air-traced one with a finger, then let my hands fall to my stomach with a huff.

I wasn't getting any sleep. My mind was a mess.

It always has been, but there was a difference between then and now. Then, I had control, even manipulation over it. Now though, I didn't. I was scrambling to tape the pieces back in, and the longer I took, the less grip I had on it all.

I'd gotten to my eighth star when my phone buzzed from the side. My head turned to my nightstand. It was probably Raven or Kimberly.

I picked it up, eyes quickly jumping over the screen. The sight made them widen with all sorts of shock behind it.

The Best Fucker I've Ever Known was on the screen. Luke was calling me.

I paused to check the time. 10:08.

"What the fuck," I breathed out, my thumb nearly missing the accept button before I got it. The ringing stopped, and the call connected.

I didn't bother moving from my spot; I wasn't getting dolled up and shit for anyone. Best he was getting was my Lilo & Stitch pajamas. My eyes ran him over, first.

The muscles in his arm were making for a dangerous sight, since he had it tucked behind his head so that he could prop his head up. He didn't have a shirt on, and the camera was positioned so that I had view of the carving of his inked shoulders, the scars on his throat, and his face.

Luke was studying me over, as well, his gaze building with amusement at my pajamas. He pressed his lips together to stop from commenting, and instead chose to finish on my face.

"Don't correct me if I'm mistaken," I said. "But, you're calling me at 10:00 at night."

"Oh, really?" he returned with sarcasm, cocking his head. "I thought I was calling my dentist or some shit."

"It should have been your therapist, bitch," I grumbled before nodding at him. "Did you call to insult me or did you actually want something?"

"You about to go to sleep?" he questioned, completely disregarding my own.

"Hopefully. Why?"

"Good," he said, nodding once. "Tell me about your day."

"Do you not understand the English language or something?" My back was beginning to hurt, so I took the moment to turn to my side, laying my head against the pillow. "If you don't answer my question, though, I'm going to have to make the assumption that you actually miss me."

His expression scrunched with disgust. "Fuck no."

A teasing smile followed up from me. "You sure? Today's the first day we haven't had a movie night, and I think you might be having Maggie withdrawals."

"Maggie withdrawals?"

"Mhm," I hummed. "It's what happens when someone's blessed with my amazing presence, spirit, and all of that shit. Once you're on, you can never get back off. Especially after the week we had."

It'd been a week ever since I'd found out about Xander and Quinn, and a week since Luke and I started our Harry Potter binge. We had done one or two movies every night, and we had just finished up last night.

Despite the glum of the situation, Luke had helped turn it into everything but that. When we'd leave his shop, we'd go to Xander and Quinns' jobs. We filled their tanks with sugar, threw egg whites onto their cars, and put antifreeze in their gas tanks, as wells. Then, I gave Luke their addresses and he helped me fuck with their houses until they were nearly unrecognizable.

Luke had shown me the video of Xander, as well. Like I'd done to Vance, he beat Xander's ass until he apologized to the camera. I didn't want it since it was most likely bullshit, but seeing him cry after a well-earned ass beating did me in well.

That wasn't it, though. I remembered how their calls and texts had stopped all of a sudden, and now I knew why. Luke had black-listed the both of them so badly that they were fired, and couldn't work anywhere in town, or in a thirty-mile radius of here. We were busy as shit.

After all of the destruction we caused, Luke took us to get burgers and milkshakes at Kimberly's uncle's diner, before we headed home to watch Harry Potter. It was a satisfying week.

The revenge was definitely sweet, if not the perfect remedy. I hadn't completely forgotten everything, and I never would, but over that time, I found myself smiling and laughing and everything in between with Luke, more than I had all of my life, really. He had helped, more than helped with things that he wasn't even aware of.

"You picked up, didn't you?" Luke cast a scowl at me, going to his side as well. "I think you might be the one missing me, Norris."

I bit back a yawn. "Get off my dick, pretty boy."

"You first," he retorted, his hand going above his head. A second later, his room went dark. The only source I had to see him was his television, but I couldn't miss his beautiful face, anyway. "Tell me about your day. I want all of the boring little details."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

Why not toy with him a bit? "Because you're rude. I don't accept rude people on a phone that I pay for."

Luke scoffed, running a hand through his scattered strands. It looked as if he had just gotten out of the shower. "Oh, suck a fucking fish, Norris. I—"

"Careful," I cut him off with a chuckle. "You're even starting to sound like me, I think you might have fallen too deep already."

"In hell? Absolutely."

Luke matched me, locking his arm under his head. He propped his phone against something on his nightstand, and I did the same.

"You know what? Keep singing with that tune, pretty boy," I teased, drawing the blanket up until it covered my shoulders. "I'm about to hang up. See you Wednesday."

Even through the dark, I saw his panic filled expression. "No, you're—" he huffed, sitting back up. "You know what? Fine. Go ahead and hang up. I'll be there in ten minutes."

At this, my nearly shut eyes sprang open. "What?"

"You heard me."

I narrowed my eyes at him through the screen. "You wouldn't."

Even saying it aloud sounded wrong, since I knew now, that he definitely would.

"Really, Norris? We're gonna go through this shit, again? Because, we both know I will." He was up now, his feet slapping against the hard floors as he walked to only god knows where.

I shook my head so hard, it hurt. "Fine, fine. Get your completely sane, absolutely rational self back in the bed." I didn't even know what he wanted, but for some reason, it involved him being on the call with me.

My mind was too tired to try to unscrew the mystery that was Luke. I'd have to save it for tomorrow.

Satisfied by his victory, he did, tugging his blanket over him. He settled onto his side again, but this time, he did it with a small smile.

Refraining from cursing him, I settled the phone on my nightstand, so that it wouldn't fall. "Are you gonna quit staring, and start telling me what you want, now?"

He nodded once, handsome face still with seriousness. "Tell me about your day, angel."

I rolled my eyes, preparing to offer a retort of some sort, but decided against it. The exhaustion was flooding in batches, now, and I wasn't going to let Luke alter it.

I told him about my day, obviously leaving out the latest events. It was pretty boring, but he listened, nonetheless. His responses, despite most of them being sarcastic, weren't bland, either. That were genuinely interested, and in tune to what I was saying. He never hung up, despite my many interrogations, and accusations...he just didn't.

At some point, my words begin to draw into mush. Even then, he listened. All I remembered were those dark blues of his staring back into mine before my eyes shut.