Warning: Violent acts including emotional, and physical abuse are discussed on throughout the chapter.

"I have crazy friends, so a lot of times when we're out, people recognize me on the street, but they will yell, 'This is Cameron Boyce!' and just run! They do that. Then I'm in the middle of the street with people looking at me."— Cameron Boyce (rest easy, sweet boy.❤️)

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Chapter 47
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"My dad, he came from a rough childhood. One filled with poverty, and violence on every block. His dad was in and out of jail, and his birth mother was a heroine addict who would beat my dad if he ever disturbed her 'calm'," Kade began, clasping his hands together. "I guess that was the start of it all."

I was eager to learn more about his family history, but at the same time, I dangerously anticipated the truth.

Kade propped himself against a tree stump, his eyes cast downward. "I remember the first time that it happened. It's the first memory I have of him, I think."

"He came home from a bar, wasted as always. He was angry because there was a football bet gone wrong. He was yelling at Susie, and I hated yelling, so I tried to leave the room. He didn't like that, so he..." his hands fell, clenching at his sides, eyes stuck on the tip of his shoe. "He beat me so bad that I couldn't go to school for a week and a half."

"Oh my god," slipped out of me.

I knew that this would be difficult to hear. But, I also knew that it needed to be heard, nonetheless. It wouldn't negatively alter my feelings for him, that was a fact. It would only help me understand him, and maybe even us better.

He drew his knees to his chest. "It carried on for years. It was like a cycle. I'd come home from school, get beaten for even looking at him, then repeat it until I managed to block some of it out of my mind. Didn't seem to work, I guess," he chuckled, his eyes glued to the grass.

"That son of a bitch was a heavy drinker...he wouldn't stop until he fell asleep. Those were the only good times, it seemed like. When he was asleep. He was vulnerable, weak, and I..." Kade's Adam apple bobbed in his throat. "I tried to kill him, with a pocketknife."

I bit on my tongue to hold back a gasp. A part of me stood terrified at what he just said, and the other part of me was too frightened to move.

His black hair grazed his eyes as he lowered his head. "I wish I could say that I regret it. I really do...but I don't."

"I was six or seven, I think. I saw it in a movie. This kid got rid of the bad guy, and everything was peachy after that. Everything was perfect. I wanted that, y'know? I wanted peace for Susie and I, even if it damned me for life. Killing him was the only way I could rid my family of him," he whispered, his gaze jumping between me and the grass.

My eyes welled up. "I understand." And, I did. As someone who suffered my years under abuse, I knew that I had felt so helpless. A rat stuck in a trap, in a way. No matter what you did, no matter how badly you fought...you felt that you couldn't get out. You could only bleed out, and wait to be freed from the trap, the abuse.

Only...there would be no life inside of you anymore. Even with air in your lungs, you'd never experience another freeing moment. You'd never see yourself the same, if you ever did in the first place. Just a hopeless pit of deep despair that you either climbed out of, or further sink into. There'd be no in between.

I could entirely understand why he considered the act as a child. There was nothing he could have done to stop the abuse, and when the first opportunity came to free yourself of the circumstances, you would take it before it slipped away.

I would be lying to myself if I admitted that the fear completely slipped away. It was a natural reaction. But, so was comprehension. And, so far, the understanding side of me was overpowering the doubtful side.

"It didn't work, obviously.. I was so close to slicing the bastard's neck open, but it was Kacen that fucked it up for me." Like a flicker of light, a small smile barely grazed Kades' lips before it fell, again. "Susie wasn't home, and she left Kacen with my dad and I. His crying woke my dad up right before I could finish what I hadn't even started."

He ran a hand down his face with a chuckle: "God, I've never seen the devil, but at that moment, I knew that I was in hell. This time, he didn't stop his hits until our neighbors called the cops because Kacen wouldn't stop crying."

Kade shut his eyes for a quick second, before the beautiful jewels presented themselves to me again. "He was only a couple of months old, but I was so fucking angry at him. I yelled at him, and yelled, and yelled. As sick as it sounds, I wanted to feel what my dad did. Power. Manipulation. Control. That clutch of authority."

"But...he laughed at me," he admitted in a soft voice. "I couldn't believe it. When I look back, I know that since he was a baby, every little thing was funny to the little fucker. But...when he laughed. I felt something. It was like a door was finally being opened inside of me at the sound of it," he smiled, and this time, it didn't fall. "I remember when I first held him. I'd never done it before, but I watched my mom do it, so I figured it out. And, when I did, he smiled at me as if we were the best of friends."

"It didn't make me feel power. Or, authority. I felt..." Kade had to swallow the thick lump in his throat, before he spoke again. "Love."

He shook his head, tightening his fingers together: "I thought it was gone. I thought every single ounce of happiness inside of me was gone. I never even realized it was there in the first place. But, when he put his hands on mine, I felt everything lighten around me. He was so pure, so full of innocence and happiness. I didn't want my dad to ruin that before it was even known to the world. He was the only good thing I'd ever known."

I watched as Kade's entire being lit up at the mention of his brother. If I weren't paying as closely as I was to him, it would be hard to notice his walls crumbling by each word.

He released a sigh. "I did everything to protect him from our dad. I wanted to be near him at all times, and he'd be with me. I'd stand-up for him when our dad tried to hurt him. I took the beatings for him from our dad. I tried to do everything to make sure that he didn't have the same fate as I did," his jaw clenched.

"My dad owned nearly every store in town, including a lot of his own successful businesses, but he refused to give me babysitting money for Kacen. I needed the money so that Kacen would be away from our dad when I wasn't there. I had a little job as a paperboy, but I couldn't earn enough from it," he continued. "Kacen was around six at the time, and Susie and dad had been fighting. I didn't want him to see, so I took him to the park. This guy started messing with him, and I told him to knock it off. We argued for a while, then it grew physical. He pushed me, and that's where shit went left."

"I was young, but I learned to pack a punch from my dad. The guy was pretty older, and big, too. I knew I couldn't waste the shot, so, I hit him. Hard. Knocked his ass out cold. And, Kacen and I left. I didn't tell anyone about it because it wasn't a big deal. To me, it was just another passing memory."

"A couple of days later, though, I was walking home in the rain from school. This man pulled up, claimed to not want me to get a cold, and offered a ride home. I knew of the saying 'stranger danger' but I had a pocketknife on me at all times, and it was raining. So, me, being the idiot I was at that age, took him up on the offer. He was strange as shit, and way too talkative. I barely even spoke, but that didn't stop him. It wasn't until he mentioned the park incident that I tried to jump from the car."

Kade chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. "I told him to kiss my ass, pulled the pocketknife on him, and every damn thing between until he threw an offer at me. He offered me a job at some type of gym, and I immediately rejected. But then, he mentioned the pay. It was more than enough to cover Kacen's babysitting, food, and shit like that. That was all that mattered in my eyes. So, I told him I'd think about it."

I wondered where this part of the story would lead to, but I knew that it always fell somewhere in the puddle. I wouldn't interrupt until I learned every ounce of truth he was willing to lend.

"I thought over it that same night. I'd heard my dad yelling at Susie, so I got up. I didn't want to help her. She never did it for me. But, she was my mom," his jaw clenched under my stare. "I tried to cut in. I was a bit bigger now, so I could handle myself a little better than before. We were pushing each other, and he stumbled from the alcohol. He fell on top of Kacen, who was trying to stop our dad from hitting me. He was as small as shit, so when our dad fell on him, he broke Kacen's arm, and made him hit his head on the counter."

My fingers curled around my mouth as I tried to hold back a gasp. I wanted to hug him. To tell him that everything would be alright, in a sense. But, I wasn't sure if I could, because they hadn't. He was talking in past tense for a reason. The things he endured in his early life had all ended into a troubling, traumatic bomb.

Kade's expression darkened as he spoke, "I was angry. Fucking furious. I hit him, as hard as I could. With the pan, with the fridge door, with my fists, anything. He was too drunk to get the upper hand. If Susie hadn't pulled me off of him, I wouldn't have stopped until I killed him. I couldn't let him take the only happy, the only good thing that I had."

"The fucker had stopped moving, but I just...kept going. I was relentless, drunk on rage. But, it all went away once Susie threatened to send me to an institution. I thought she was trying to scare me, to try and get me to calm down, but I wasn't too sure. Either way, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't leave my brother alone with either of them."

He raked a hand through his hair. "The next morning, I skipped school and went to the job offer. When I walked in, a part of me knew that it couldn't have been a regular gym. There was a large mat right in the center, naked bodies everywhere, drugs that I couldn't even pronounce, and these two men were fighting. By their faces, I knew that this wasn't some little kid wrestling game."

I sat up, straining my ears so that I wouldn't miss a thing.

"I found the man who had driven me home, except he was different. He seemed far more serious and way less talkative."

"I was scared as shit when they forced me onto the mat. Imagine my fucking shock when I saw the same boy from the park, except he was pissed. I didn't know what to do. So, I just stood there."

Kade shook his head, his brown eyes shifting over to me for a second. "Which was one of the worst fucking mistakes of my life." A chuckle fell from him.

"He started beating me until I grew the balls to get my ass up and fight back. It was hard at first. I wasn't as motivated as I was before, but I found something else that helped. My anger." he rubbed at his temples as the memories continued to float in. "I imagined my dad's face, and something flipped inside of me. I could only guess it was the little humanity I had left. I started beating on the fucker, until the man from before lifted me off of him. Even then, I didn't want to stop."

"I hated admitting it at the time, but I felt...alive. It was like a rush of adrenaline before I even realized it was there," he explained, nibbling on his bottom lip. "Every time I swung, it was like a trance. And, it was the best feeling ever."

"The pay was fantastic," he told me. "I could pay for Kacens' needs, and I could add extra hours in for our neighbor to babysit him. She never asked where the money was coming from, and neither did my parents, so everything was going fine to me."

"I started going to an actual gym, too. The owner was fond of Susie, so he let me in despite my age. I trained, and trained until I couldn't anymore. It wasn't completely for the cages, either. It was to learn how to protect myself, and Kacen better."

"A couple of days later, I ran into the man...uh, your father, again," he paused to catch my reaction. I wasn't sure if I managed to wipe the shock off quick enough before he continued.

"I was being careless, walking around the place without a shirt. He noticed the cuts and bruises, and started asking me all sorts of questions. Obviously, I lied about it all. He could see right past my bullshit, though. He used to be one of the top fighters at the cages, but he stopped and started training newbies. He was the one to teach me everything there is about that place, about fighting."

My mouth was hanging open after his sentence ended. My father. A cage fighter...it was hard to comprehend.

"What?" was all I could mange. "H-how?"

"The cages are all over, just under different people and different places," he told me. "Your dad. He'd been one of the best."

My shock only intensified. I tried to form words but none came out.

Kade noticed it, too. "I know this is hard to believe, but I hope it doesn't fuck with your image of him. Back then, he was genuinely the only father figure I'd ever known. He's a good man, and a good father.. No matter his past."

I agreed with that. I just wondered why my father had never brought it up, or if he'd even consider talking about it if I asked.

Kade allowed me a minute to get myself together before he added something else to make me choke, "Ryland was the guy I first fought in the cages," he admitted. "And, in the park."

I couldn't hold it back any longer. I gasped before I knew it. It was hard to believe that my dad used to live that life, but my brother?

I pinched myself to ensure that I wasn't hallucinating. When the pain rang through the skin, I pulled my eyes up.

"That's crazy," I said with disbelief.

I wanted to run home, and ask my dad and brother an abundance of questions. But, I had a mission here. I wouldn't run, nor would I make it look like I was when given the opportunity. The questions could wait.

I placed a hand on top of Kade's. "I want to hear your story, please." I refrained from saying 'rest' since his life story was not over, and I could only hope to be included in it.

He nodded his head, avoiding eye contact with me. "Things got worse before they got better, if they even did get better, honestly. It was a repeating cycle. I would get Kacen ready for daycare, which was half way across town. I'd drop him off, head back to my school, get out, pick him up, take him to the babysitters, go to work, come home, make him dinner and get him ready for bed, get the shit beaten out of me for simply breathing, go to bed, then repeat. And, during all of it, Susie never stood up for me. Not once. She was a fuckin' coward, she was—"

"Afraid," I cut in before I could evaluate over my trade.

His gaze pulled into a glare. "Being afraid and being too pussy to protect your own children aren't the same thing."

I wanted to smack my hand right over my mouth. It definitely wasn't my place to say that. Kade's blank stare only worried me that his wall would be rebuilt in a matter of seconds. I blew out a sigh of relief as he continued.

"Things were going a bit better once they got steady, if you could say that," he said. "But, then Susie found the money in my bag. I'd been saving it for Kacen if something happened to me, and he was forced to run. I wanted him to have a better shot than I did."

"But, then she found it. She threatened to send me off if I didn't tell her where I got it from. So, I told her. I didn't expect her reaction. I expected anger, cursing, yelling...but, it was something else. She started crying. And, crying, and crying. Then, she just left my bedroom, and I just...assumed that everything would be alright."

He ran a shaky hand down his face. "I was so fucking wrong."

Kade shut his eyes, his jaw locked tight. "The next morning, I woke up, and went to the kitchen to make Kacen some breakfast. There were men there, all big and quiet. I didn't know what was going on until they reached for me. I tried to run, but it was too late. My mo—" He shook his head. "Susie. She wasn't even in the same room as us. She was too afraid to watch her son get drug away to a mental institution." His chuckle bounced through the trees. "Isn't that fucking crazy?"

His throat bobbed before he bit at the inside of his cheek. "I still remember Kacen's cries. His screams, and pleads with Susie for me. It fucking tore me into two that I couldn't stop it, that I couldn't do a thing."

"My dad was there, just watching and trying to hold Kacen back. For the first time in my life, I saw some type of emotion through him other than rage. It was too late for me to care, though."

His eyes ran over the grass, his fingers reaching for some of them, too. "When Susie visited, she refused to bring Kacen. I'd beg for her to just let me see him, but I could only see pictures. She claimed that she didn't want me to backtrack, or some bullshit, again. As if I were some type of addict."

His fingers tightened around the grass, his gaze growing deadly. "As if I were fucking crazy for wanting to see my baby brother. The only person that I cared about was separated from me. That is what made me crazy."

"She claimed that my dad was off of the alcohol, that he had changed when he saw me being taken away. I didn't believe it for one fucking second," he rolled his eyes. "I was still young, but I wasn't stupid. He'd been gone for far too long. I was given so many excuses, so many cover-ups and stories, but I never understood. All I saw was selfishness. From both parties."

"I was in the institution for three months, before I was cleared. Susie was convinced that I was her boy again since the hospital had given her pills to keep me under control, along with the therapy," he said. "I went home, and I finally saw Kacen. Out of everything in this shitty world, my boy's hug was the one remedy for me."

My lips pulled into a soft smile at that. I just wished that Kade had been able to get another.

"My dad, he was...attempting to get better, I guess," he told me. "I guess this was his way of making up for his fuckups, but there were only so many times you could claim beating your family as a 'little messy situation'."

"A couple of weeks later, I picked Kacen up from school, and he was crying. He told me that some kid was bullying him. I wasn't supposed to go back to school until Susie cleared it, but once I found out about the bullying, I begged her to let me go back. It took some time, but since my dad was on a business trip and couldn't convince her to say no, it worked."

"I went back, and things were...pretty normal, I guess. It wasn't long until I fucked up, again though," Kade sighed, massaging at his temples as he released a sigh. "I don't even remember how, or why I forgot the marks. They weren't fresh, but they were still there. We were doing an assignment in class, and I raised my sleeves. There were too many bruises to ignore."

I squeezed his hand for support as I watched him. I willed the contents of my stomach to stay in tact as I listened.

Kade sighed, his eyes falling to our hands. "Long story short, the teachers alerted the child protective services, and once my dad touched back down into Washington, he was arrested." He traced the lining of my finger with his own, his brows drawing in on one another.

"When I came home, I expected everything to be alright. But, when I went to Susie's room, she was crying. I didn't care enough to comfort her, or even ask why. I figured that she was sad about him getting taken away, but I don't know," he expressed, disgust obvious. "I thought the worst when Grandma Jacky flew down to us. She was his mother, so I knew it was hard for her to believe me, but she did. Without a second thought, she did."

His expression fell into a tangible state. "Susie sent me and Kacen to live with Grandma Jacky during the court case. Everyone knew our father, so we were in the limelight. Grandma Jacky did her best to shield us from it, though."

"When I first met her, I didn't want Kacen or I separated, so I asked her if him and I could share a room together. I was honestly scared of her, and how she would react when I requested it. A part of me expected her to hit me for it, or just send me away altogether, but she didn't. Instead, she gave us our own floor to make us more comfortable," his lips lifted into the smallest of smiles. "I'd never even met her before all of this, actually. Our dad had cut off all contact with her. But, even though he was her son, she still loved us."

Sighing, his smile fell dropped a frown. "Back with my dad, he wouldn't let me eat much, because he claimed that I was costing him extra money for groceries. So instead, I would make Kacen his dinner, then come back in the morning hours to sneak myself something to eat if I could. My dad caught me a couple of times, and you can guess how that shit ended."

That same frown began to lift. "I still remember the first couple of nights at Grandma Jacky's," he said. "I was honestly too scared to eat or ask for anything for myself if it didn't concern Kace. Even when she took us out to dinner, I thought that she was playing mind tricks like my dad used to do. He would always tell me that it was okay to do something, like eating, talking, shit like that, then knock my head off my shoulders when I did it. It was all a manipulation game with him."

"Kacen would talk and make friends with just about anyone, so him and grandma were best friends at first sight," he chuckled. "But, I didn't trust anyone honestly, especially her. I didn't trust nice, or anything good. So I didn't talk to her unless I absolutely had to. Honestly, I just tried to stay out of her way and to not be a bother."

"I still remember one night, it was two or three in the morning. Kace was sleeping, and I was pretty sure Grandma Jacky was too, so I snuck downstairs to the kitchen because I hadn't eaten all day. In the fridge, there was a wrapped up plate of food and cake," he said, brows pinching in thought. "Every single night, at that same time, she would have a new plate of food and a dessert, in the same spot of the fridge. I thought I was overthinking it at the time, but now I know, she was purposefully leaving food for me to heat up and eat, since she figured out I was too afraid to eat around her. I didn't know if she was playing with me, and if I should just leave it alone, but I was too hungry to find out so I ate it."

"She started to do the same thing with breakfast, too. I would sit with Kace to make sure that he ate, but that was it," he added. "Right after she started leaving the dinners for me in the fridge, she would claim that she was going to the store or something, then would wrap up the breakfast I didn't eat and put it in the fridge. It took me a while before I started to eat that too, but I did. It wasn't until Kacen left to play outside, then came back and told me that Grandma Jacky was actually in her garden, that I realized what she was doing."

My smile softened over. "That was so kind of her." It was. Instead of pushing him, she had waited and respected his boundaries while still making sure that he was finally taken care of.

"We got into this habit," Kade said, lips tipping. "It lasted for about a month. Then, one night, she came down. I remember I was sitting at the table, eating when I heard her coming downstairs." He chuckled. "It honestly scared the shit out of me."

"When she came into the kitchen and saw me, I apologized, even offered to put the food back or throw it away if she wanted me to. I just didn't want her to be mad, then put it out on me or my brother, which was what I expected," he explained before sighing. "But...she wasn't. Instead, she pulled out her own plate of food, sat down, and ate with me. I was honestly still nervous as shit, but when she asked me to sit back down and join her, I did, and we talked. It was honestly the longest conversation I ever carried with her."

"I was skeptical at first, but the longer I talked with her, the less nervous I felt," he told me. "She started asking me questions about myself. Favorite foods, drinks, movies, toys, or games, and just things like that. I thought that she was just making fun of me or just teasing or some shit, so I tried to leave, but then she offered me ice cream if I stayed." Chuckling, he blinked down at the grass in thought. "So, I came back. We sat and talked some more over ice cream. I answered her questions, then went back to bed. The next morning, when I came downstairs, she had every single food that I had told her I liked, stocked in the kitchen for me."

"I honestly didn't know what the fuck was going on. I was more scared than anything, so I tried to hide in my room for the rest of the day," he admitted. "She bribed Kacen to come and convince me to go out with them. I didn't want to leave Kace alone with anyone else, so I went. She took us to a mall, then told us to get whatever we wanted. I didn't trust it, so I just followed Kace around the store until he was finished. When we came back to grandma, I didn't expect it, but she had gotten all of the toys and games I had told her I liked, too. I guess she realized that I was too scared to do it myself."

"I didn't want her to think that I was unappreciative of all of it though, so when dinner time came, I went downstairs to try to eat with her and Kacen..." Smiling, he let it linger even longer. "They were cooking together. When she saw me, she suggested I join and I did. At first, I was more focused on not messing anything up, since I didn't want to upset her. Kacen ended up accidentally dropping some of the pasta sauce, though, and I tried my fucking hardest to get that shit up before she could see it."

"Before I could though, she saw it," he said. "I nearly fell the hell out with nerves, honestly, because I knew what was coming. I waited and waited for a hit, or a curse, or anything, but..." A small laugh came from him, the sound making me smile. "It didn't come. Instead, she threw the rest of the sauce on me."

I laughed, softly. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," he confirmed, chuckling. "I didn't realize what was going on until Kace threw his cheese at her then she did the same to him, then to me again. Then, we all started a food fight." A light glow claimed his face at the memory. "It was honestly the first time I'd ever really been a kid, I think. I knew it was Grandma Jacky's first time seeing me laugh and shit like that, so she didn't stop. None of us did until all of the food was gone. As soon as we all finished washing up, she took us out to dinner, and bought us all of the food and sweets we could think of. That was my first time having an actual dinner with her. I started to trust her soon after. Slowly, but she never asked for more than what I was willing to give."

"After my therapy sessions, she would take Kacen and I to an ice cream parlor or to the movies," he smiled. "She was supposed to be home-schooling us, but was actually teaching the both of us how to gamble. I still remember when Susie called to check on us once, Grandma Jacky lied and told her that Kace and I were doing a math test, when we were actually in the kitchen, watching movies and learning how to make ice cream from scratch."

For the first time, a little bit of relief came from this. I was glad that he had finally found a mother figure in someone, especially someone as amazing as her. She had shown him that it was alright to be a kid, too.

I chuckled, feeling my heart warm. "That's so sweet."

Kade nodded in agreement. "She did everything in her power to get our minds off of the situation." He smiled. "Not once, did she try to shame us or me for damaging her son's career. She would claim that he'd done it on his own, that I wasn't responsible. I believed her after a while."

I smiled at that. I already thought Grandma Jacky was amazing, but now, it was without a doubt.

"The shit back home wasn't getting any better, though. The evidence wasn't good enough," he said, his lips falling into a frown. "No one had seen the abuse first hand, and even if they had, they were too afraid on speaking out. The court didn't take me seriously because of my diagnosis, and they barely accounted Kacen's statement since there wasn't any physical evidence, and he was too young to be considered dependable."

His sigh drew out before he shrugged it off. "The case ended. My father was let go, but since his credibility among his peers fell, so did he. Kace and I were sent back to live with Susie and him. We had to move to Illinois, and..." he strung in a breath.

He looked at me, those brown eyes piercing tight through mine. "This is where you come in..." he flicked his head at me. "You want me to stop?"

I shook my head, though I wasn't really sure of it. "I can handle it." The past was already written; Sparing my feelings wouldn't change that fact.

His finger tightened around mine in a reassuring hold. His eyes searched me over before he nodded.

"Your mom and dad were tight as shit with Susie in high school. They grew up together, even went to the same college. But, when my parents got together, your mom cheated on your dad and fucked my dad."

"What?" I exclaimed, my eyes widening.

Kade nodded in agreement at my shock. I had to force my lips shut to let him continue.

"So, of course, our moms broke all contact, and started hating each other. Yours was my dad's attorney," he glared down at the ground. "Once we moved, his little self-healing bullshit ended. The hits started slow, then gradually picked up all over again."

His eyes met mine. "He had planned to talk to your mom about steadying his businesses again. That's why we were in the park that day, he didn't want the image of him talking to his past fling getting out into the world, again."

"I saw you. That day in the park, I saw you for the first time," he said, his finger tracing the lining of my jaw. "I still remember that voice in my head. Telling me you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I'd never liked anyone else before, I'd never even had time for it really, but I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I was so fucking nervous when I tried to plan what to say to you. I couldn't think of anything so I just planned on knocking your glasses off, or bumping into you and playing it off as an accident or something just to get your attention." The chuckle that followed brought forth my own.

My cheeks flushed as I smiled. I hadn't caught too much of a good luck at him in the park, but the memory was still blurry so I couldn't count on it too much.

His eyes followed mine, his finger stroking the skin across my cheek. "I'd been so damn mesmerized by you, I stopped paying attention to where I was going, and accidentally stepped on my dad's shoes. The last thing I remember before the hit was seeing you look back at me. It wasn't funny in the moment, but I find myself chuckling at it now and again."

I couldn't bring myself to laugh at it. I knew what was coming, but I didn't think anything could prepare me for it's hit.

"Then," he sighed. "My dad beat the shit out me. I wasn't sure if he'd forgotten the people in the park, or if he'd already been on edge from everything that had happened. Either way, I still remember it all. The look on his face. The way my jaw popped under that hit. He even managed to knock a couple teeth out."

I felt the guilt weigh in. I remembered faintly some of the things Kade had told me about our shared past, but it grew harder to hear every single time.

"Susie, this time...something just snapped in her. She jumped on his back, swinging and kicking until someone called the cops. They arrested him, and he was sent to trial. This time though, the evidence was actually there. He was so close to being locked up for good. All they needed was a witness to confirm it, and you..." Kades' eyes jerked up to mine, the hesitation in them blaring. "You told them that you didn't see anything. That Susie and I were liars. Since you were an attorney's kid to them, they believed you without a second thought. The judge barely heard anything else after that."

My lips parted to say something. Anything. But, I couldn't form the right thing. There wasn't anything that I could say to try and console that.

Kade's skin had gone red, but not at me. At the reminder of what he'd lost, at what had been taken. His raging gaze remained on the tree across from us.

Finally, he gritted out, "He was home, not even a week later. This time, he swore up and down that he would never touch alcohol or any of us, again," he rolled his eyes. "Of course, Susie's dumbass believed him, again. She even started to leave Kacen alone with him, despite my every argument not to."

Kade palmed his forehead, his hand remaining there for a moment as he sucked in a breath so big, it shook his chest. He murmured a curse before nodding at himself.

"I had a therapy session one day," he told me. "It was supposed to just be a quick one, nothing too serious. So...Susie trusted him with keeping Kacen for an hour," his voice began to strain before he cleared it. "Sixty fucking minutes was all she asked of him."

This was draining him, I could see it so easily. My hand reached out for him. "Kade, if you don't want to—"

He shook his head, his expression growing pained. "I have to. If I want to keep you, I have to."

I stared after him for a moment before jerking my head at him in a nod. "Alright." My voice was so low, I wondered if he even caught it.

His hands were growing pale now, the muscle in his jaw ticking. "We left, and went to my session. Susie kept her phone on just in case he called, and everything was going fine." He drew in a shaky breath. "But, when we came back, the house was in flames."

I blinked away tears. "Oh, God..." I didn't know the full story, but I knew that this didn't end well. I knew who it didn't end good for.

Kade swallowed, his expression growing deadly. "The son of a bitch started to drink again. He got a beer, then two, then three, and so on. When he finally fucking grew the sense to go and check on Kacen, he knocked a lamp over," my heart broke in two as Kade's voice cracked. "Kacen was asleep, so when he finally realized that the house was burning, it was too late. My dad...he ran and he got out, but he couldn't..." Unshed tears welled up, the white pearl of his eyes reddening. "He didn't..."

Kade jerked his eyes from the ground. "He didn't save him. He could have got them both out, but he didn't. Instead, he ran and left my baby brother to die. To burn in his bed, in my bed. That was where they found his body," he spat from clenched teeth. "The motherfucker saved his own life over his sons."

Oh my god.

Hearing it and thinking it were about the same. Still just as stomach-turning. I had to hold it as it churned from under me.

I couldn't have seen the tear fall from Kade's eye until I really looked at him. I'd never seen him cry before, nor had I ever seen this side of him. He was vulnerable to me right now.

I didn't know that I was crying until the small droplet fell to my arm. I wiped my cheeks, though it didn't help. More tears only followed up as I thought over his confession.

I placed my hand on his, shocked to see that Kade's was shaking as if he were freezing. His eyes jerked up to mine. "That motherfucker took everything away from me," he growled. "He killed Kacen."