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""I realize there's something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they're experts at letting things go." ― Jeffrey McDaniel
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Chapter 81
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|Kade|

I rolled my window down, calling Levi over, who motioned for me to wait. With an eye roll, I waited. Finally, he detached from Raven long enough to come over.

My fingers twisted at the key to start the car. "Fuck, you gonna bend her over right here, too?" I scoffed.

Levi reached inside to pat my shoulder, causing me to push him with away with a scowl.

He balanced a grin my way. "Is this coming from the pussy-whipped man himself? I thought you were going to swallow the girl a minute ago."

For a second, I contemplated running over his foot.

I shrugged it off. "I'll gladly be anything for her." I motioned toward Kimberly, who was laughing along to some story of joke her friends were telling.

Speaking of my girl...

My movements were quick with determination. I slammed my car door after me, stepping back out.

Kimberly turned to face me, her brown hair tickling her cheeks as she looked to me. An alarmed expression followed. "What are you doing?"

My eyes zeroed in on the curve of her lips before I tugged her away from Raven. They could finish whatever the hell they were talking about later.

Her chest flattened against mine as my fingers grasped at her waist. I caught her gasp in my mouth, and my lips worked like magic against hers, only beckoning for more the longer I had it. Immediately, she relaxed in my arms, tightening her hands around my biceps.

This was one of many things I couldn't tire of. It wasn't possible. Her lips, her reactions to my touches, her scent, her. Everything about her drove me insane in ways I didn't mind.

I felt her draw back, hooded eyes gazing up at me. I didn't release her in the slightest. "What was that for?"

I shrugged, a grin tugging at the corner of my lips. "I just wanted to say bye."

My fingers instinctively found the scars along her wrist. I knew she didn't like them, but I liked to admire her strength. I liked to admire her. My beautiful girl.

There was nothing she could do to make me feel differently of it. The girl could demand the worst of me, and I'd relish in her angelic voice during the demand itself.

My finger traced along the red patches of skin of her cheeks. She was flushed. She was beautiful.

"Not that I don't love your goodbyes, but..." Her pretty eyes softened behind the frame of her glasses as she giggled. "You're going to be late for your meeting."

My smile fell at that. Fuck.

I didn't want to worry her, but I knew the meeting wasn't good. It couldn't be. Being called to a meeting was never good. If Adrian wanted a word with you, then it had to be something urgent. In my case, urgent meant something with Chivo.

I couldn't entirely ignore the nag in my stomach, but I could try to. Kimberly was recovering now, mentally and physically from the attack. I didn't want to stress her out over something that could potentially be nothing.

"Okay," I heard from behind me. I shut my eyes in annoyance at Levi's voice. "Break it up, lovebirds. Ryder, you have to get going." I turned to see him pointing a finger at me.

"Wait," Levi called out, involuntarily catching my attention.

He grinned at me before stretching his arms out. "Can I get a hug, too, Ryder? Just a small one." I wanted to knock the fucker out as he bounced in step behind me. "I've heard they're nice."

I glowered at him from my spot. "If you touch me, I'm going to dislocate your arm again, Levi."

I had done so already, a little less than a year ago. I didn't even remember why, but I let him break my finger in return so we called it even.

I could see him recalling the memory, as well. He shuddered.

With a grin, I turned to head back to my car.

Kimberly's laugh was small, but I heard it sound out. My insides melted at the harmony. My legs weren't doing any better holding me up at the pure sound. It was another one of my favorites.

Once I was in the car again, I let the window down for her. "Don't encourage him," I warned her. "The fucker likes attention." Levi—who was like a damn fairy-godmother—appeared right at her side.

Kimberly shrugged with a small smile. "He's harmless."

I grasped her hand in mine to lay a kiss to her palm. "Have—"

Levi crossed his arms, leaning back onto his heels with a shrug. "Don't worry about it, man. We're all going to go and get our nails done, get pampered up and shit, then go to dinner. My treat, too. Right, Kimberly?" He draped an arm around her shoulder, offering a pinky, which she took with a chuckle.

His mischief came back to toy at me, so I held my glare in place. If he didn't get his arm off of her in ten seconds...

His grin only grew. "See, we're best friends," he gloated. That's it.

My hand stretched out for him. He couldn't move quick enough to avoid my grasp on his free hand.

"Levi," I stated, offering a stale smile. "If you don't take your arm off of my girl right now, you're going to need that cast, again." My fingers tightened around his index. "Might even get to choose a different color this time."

He dropped his arm from her shoulder in a matter of seconds, allowing me to release him. I heard his string of curses against my very existence as he backed off.

Kimberly watched the event unfold with bundles of laughter before stepping closer to me.

My outstretched hand squeezed at her waist from the window. "Have a good time, okay?

She didn't think I noticed the trauma after being attacked, but I did. The first couple of nights she was here, she very barely slept more than a couple of hours. During the short time that she was asleep, her nightmares would grow progressively worse until I woke her up. I held her in my arms until I knew she was asleep. Even then, I stayed up just to watch over her for another nightmare.

She nodded, glancing back toward the house, then to me. "I will. You do too...well, if that's possible." We both chuckled at that.

I squeezed her. "When I get to come home to my girl? It's very possible, sweetheart."

Her smile made my heart jump, as it always did for her. When she dropped her head, I reacted, immediately.

Lifting my upper body out of my seat, my fingers crossed over her chin to return her kiss. As tempting at it was to stay in it, we knew we couldn't.

"I love you," I said, dropping my hand to hers. "I'll miss you."

Her warm smile widened at me. "I love you." She squeezed my hand. "And, I'll miss you more."

I scoffed playfully. "No way."

"Way," she teased, biting back a grin. "Since you're going to be late if we continue this, then I win by default."

I craned my neck at her, attempting to hold my humor back. "Is that right, sweetheart?"

She hummed, stroking my thumb. "I don't make the rules."

"Okay then." I nodded, sending a grin her way. With another squeeze, I added, "We'll see about that smart-ass mouth of yours when I have it full later on, okay?"

Color crept through her neck and up, pretty lips parting. I leaned up again, pecking them before she could go elsewhere. "I'll see you then, baby." I released her.

In a daze, she turned, attempting to fight back a grin. I took the chance to smack her pretty ass, earning a humored glare in return. That was another favorite part of her.

I remained in my spot until I knew for sure that she was inside. Levi peeked outside, rushing her in.

I raised my brows before I heard him yell, "Let's party, fuckers! Jax, my man, bring out the shrooms!" He wanted me to hear it.

I rolled my eyes as I pulled off; Levi wasn't that stupid.

As I drove, I listened to the audiobook for A Walk To Remember. After enjoying the movie, Kimberly demanded I read the book. So, I sucked it up, and downloaded it for her.

So far, I was enticed.

By the time I was on chapter twelve, I was entirely indulged. I would take it to my grave, but I wanted to start the rest of Nicholas Sparks books as soon as this one ended. Kimberly won this one.

But, I couldn't continue right now. I was here.

Around me were only five other vehicles all of different models and designs. I recognized one as Luke's. I thought of leaving my own running, but decided against it. I didn't know the contents of this meeting yet, nor how long it would last.

Soon, I'd forgotten the peace in the car. Me stomach was to my feet. It was strange. I was never nervous here, not even with my matches.

That was all before Kimberly, though. I had someone else to fight for other than myself, now.

I stepped outside the car, clicking at the key until the horn sounded behind me. My hoodie did little to shield me from the cold, so I made sure to hurry my footsteps to the entrance.

Even with my training, it was never this off-putting. It was eerily quiet. I hated it.

The inside was no better. If I didn't hurry, I was going to freeze my fucking balls off. I barely even managed to push myself through.

I already knew where this was happening. Adrian—the boss of everything related to the cages—always held his meetings in the same place.

The door echoed behind me as I made my way past the lockers. In the corner of my eye, I caught sight of my own, as well as the old writing atop it.

I paused right in front of the door. I tried to tell myself to grow a pair and chill the fuck out, but nothing seemed to work. Regardless, I wanted to rip the band-aid off.

With a single shove, I pushed the door open. Awaiting me was Luke, Adrian, and Angelo. They were all at the long, brown table, staring right back at me.

Immediately, a scowl crossed my lips at the sight of one fucker in particular. Angelo matched my own, glaring back at me. Just the sight made me want to bash the little bitch's teeth in right here, right now.

"Ryder," Adrian spoke first, then motioned toward the empty seat beside Luke. "Join us."

I stepped toward it, never once letting my attention fall from the fucker in front of me until I sat down.

I cast a side-glance toward Luke, whose jaw was clenched tightly. Narrowing my eyes at him, I turned back toward Adrian.

"The fuck is happening?" I asked.

I didn't want any fake reintroductions, no sugar-coating, no bullshit. Just rip the band-aid off so that I can get the fuck out of here, and back to my girl.

Adrian ran a hand over his bald head. There was nothing even there to touch. He only did it when he was nervous. Why in the fuck was he nervous?

In the corner of my eye, I noted Luke's leg bouncing as he leaned against his tightened fist. Only increasing my nerves.

"Ryder," Adrian began, leaning forward in his seat. The chair creaked under him as his voice dipped, "You know, you've always been one of the best here. You've made me a fortune. One of my favorites—"

Angelo snorted. I decided to let him have this little moment. I'd get his ass later.

"Spit it out," I stated coldly. I knew I shouldn't speak to Adrian like this, but I couldn't handle this beat around the bush shit.

Adrian scratched at his scalp again before releasing a heavy sigh. "The deal's off."

What?

My blood ran cold at his words. I wanted the band-aid off, but fuck did it sting.

My fingers fell, tightening around the wooden table until it hurt. "What?"

Adrian moved his eyes from mine with a sigh. "You had one more time to move the date. Chivo demanded that you pay the price for it."

I stared at him in disbelief before fragments of it hit me. Angelo was here to deliver his message.

With a glare, I jerked toward Angelo. "Pay the price? I'm already fighting six of his pussy little lapdogs, is that not payment enough?"

I had pushed the date back three weeks in order to take care of Kimberly. I didn't want to risk leaving her alone, not when Daniel was still out there somewhere.

Angelo shifted his eyes toward me, rage spewing beneath them. "Who the fuck are you talking to, Ryder?"

The bits and pieces of anger were beginning to blind me, already. "Who in the fuck else? What? You didn't hear me?" I growled. "Want me to say it, again?"

Luke slammed his palm against my chest to restrain me as I stared to rise from the chair. Adrian waved his hands, his warning gaze bouncing between the two of us.

I whipped my head toward him, the blood in my ears pounding. "What are the terms?"

Either way, I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear any of this bullshit.

Adrian hesitated, glancing toward Luke. I knew then why he was here: to keep me from ripping their goddamn heads off. It did sound quite a little too tempting right now.

"Adrian," I spat, my fingernails digging into my palms. "Tell me the fucking terms."

His eyes fell to the desk. "You have to spend another year here," he responded. "Then you're out. That was the best I could do for you, kid." Adrian's voice was remorseful, sad.

In another universe, I might have appreciated his effort to lessen the blow, but not in this one. Not in the one where Kimberly was threatened by it.

My head was spinning all over the place. I squeezed my eyes shut to ease the tension, but to no avail.

The truth was raw, it was there. And, it wasn't going anywhere.

I was stuck here for another year. Kimberly was stuck here for another year. All of our plans were gone out the window in a couple of minutes. She was under risk, because of me. Again.

"Fuck," I heard Angelo through the shit that was my mind. "Now, I'm glad I was the messenger." His laughter secured his fate in stone.

My reaction time was implausible. I jumped out of my seat, the chair clattering behind me.

In a matter of seconds, he was in my hold. The material of his shirt probably ripped under my grasp, but I paid it no mind. With an echo of my rage, I swung my fist into his cheek until I felt the skin back from under it.

He tried his hardest against me, but there was no point. I didn't stop my punches until arms attempted to gather at me from behind.

"Stop it," Luke hissed, his arms tightening around my own. "Ryder, I need you to chill man." His words meant nothing. Everything meant nothing.

Angelo scrambled to his feet, his lip busted, and blood dripping. He attempted to lunge at me, and I welcomed it, entirely. I needed to fuck something up, and if it had to be this bitch, then I would gladly complete the assignment.

Adrian held him off from his side of the room, face tight with agitation as he attempted to calm the situation.

"You're dead, you hear me," I heard Angelo yell as Adrian drug him out the room. "Fucking dead, motherfucker!"

Luke spun me around, his grip slowly loosening. "You need to chill the fuck out, you hear me?" His dark eyes weighed me down with determination.

I couldn't help it. My fist swung through the empty spot on the wall beside his head. I knew I'd feel all of this shit later, but that didn't matter right now. Nothing else did.

I glowered at Luke, who was watching me cautiously. "Don't tell me to chill the fuck out! I'm stuck in this shit for another year!"

Saying it aloud made my insides clench so tightly, I feared my oxygen was stolen right from underneath me. I paced in my spot until my legs wrinkled.

"I can't put her through this," I mumbled to myself. My throat ached with panic as I recalled the image of her body the night of the attack. I couldn't dare imagine if they'd been successful in their attempt to kill her. I still remembered my brothers corpse, and the thought of adding Kimberly to the list nearly drowned me. "I can't ask her to worry for her goddamned life for another year!"

"Listen, I'll handle it," Luke hissed, glancing to the door Adrian left out of then back to me. "Don't do anything stupid, fucker. Don't." He slammed the door on his way out, leaving me with nothing but the turmoil.

Fuck.

I couldn't let Kimberly constantly look over her shoulder. I couldn't let her not be able to enjoy her life for another year because of fear. Her first year of college was supposed to be enjoyed, but now, it'd be full of caution and possible danger.

She was nearly killed because of me. Even if the attack wasn't directly from Chivo, they were angry at her because of me. What would stop the others from trying?

I would make even more enemies; I knew I'd bring even more risks to her. Who was to say this shit would be over after a year? No one, but the goddamned universe, and that motherfucker seemed to hate me.

Fuck me.

The very thought made my blood run cold. My heart drop in downheartedness. In regret. In realization. In such pain that it made me want to crumble under it. I didn't want it. But, there was no other choice.

As I said, I would do anything for her. I will do anything for her. Even if it fucking kills me.

I couldn't be selfish this time. I couldn't give her a fraction of what she'd given to me. She was too perfect, too intelligent, and too amazing to have to hold it back out of fear. I couldn't let her live like this. It wasn't fair. As much pain, and as much heartache and anger it would bring on both sides, I knew I'd have to do it.

I had to do it.

I had to let her go.