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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." —Robert Frost

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Chapter 39
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The feeling of confidence still hadn't subsided. Between the principles audible scolding, and Amber's obnoxious attempts at defending herself, the drumming of my adrenaline led heartbeat couldn't be denied.

"And, you!" The principle's disappointment was shown as he looked me in the eye. "You haven't even been here for a year, yet you decide to create a mark on your future!" He glared at me, eyes squinted.

My future? He was acting as if one fight doomed me to ultimate failure.

He straightened his tie with a huff, then took a seat, hands clasped as he set eyes on us both. "Now, tell me what happened."

"Sir, I—" I began before Amber cut in to defend herself.

"It was Kimberly's fault. I was trying to head to class, before she stopped me in the hallway, going on and on about how Kade was hers. And, I hate to mention the threats she threw my way," she sprouted off. Even a fool would have to be under strong manipulation to believe her.

I was sure my eyeballs were close to falling from their sockets. I gripped the edges of my seat, leaning forward. "She's lying...it was her that confronted me about Kade, who I have no relations with."

Amber's anger blinded eyes glared back into mine. "That's not true! I—"

Mr. Collision raised a hand, Amber's lips shutting in surprise. "I'm positive that you both are no longer kindergartens, so I am sure that you two should have the manners to let the other talk."

He nodded at me to confirm my story, in which I did my best to do.

"I was in the bathroom when she started to follow me. She was upset about Kade and I's past relationship, which no longer even exists. I guess she wanted some type of revenge, because once we came to the hallway, she began to yell and say things that I would rather keep to myself—"

Amber stood, feet hitting the ground as if she were a toddler. "I would never do that—"

Mr. Collisions' lips pursed at her outburst. "Miss Patterson, I'm very aware of your assault history with most of the female students here, and it's enough to involve the law, if needed. Now, sit down in your seat and let Kimberly speak." Pertinaciously, Amber sat down.

"That was when Kade stepped in..." I glanced out the corner of my eye at the pale Amber. "He tried to make her leave me alone, since it seemed he was the first to notice the commotion. I guessed he knew of her physical intentions, because after she was finished talking, she put her hands on me. Even though I knew I should've been the bigger person, I couldn't hold myself from hitting her back." Not true in the slightest, if I would have had longer, I would have enjoyed smacking her up again.

Mr. Collision sighed, running a hand over his face. "You're right, you should've been the bigger person. You do know of the marks this will have on your college choices, and history, right?"

I refrained from rolling my eyes but nodded instead. "Yes, sir." Now that I had time to reflect, I did fear the consequences my father would endure with Teresa in his ear.

Amber cleared her throat, head perched sideways on a clenched fist. "Is it my turn yet?"

"Yes, with no interruptions," Mr. Collision flickered his eyes my way, before returning to Amber.

"Now, as I was saying, I was trying to head to the bathroom to fix up my makeup before class, and then she popped up out of nowhere. She was telling me that her and Kade had broken up because of me, and things that only a crazy person would say. Then, when I tried to leave, she shoved me. So, I just left the bathroom, and continued to my next class but things only got worse." My eyes grew wide as her own filled with artificial tears. "Now, Mr. Collision, I am a changed girl. So, I continued to let her push me and shove me around. Then, Kade came, and as Kimberly lied about, it wasn't her he protected. It was me. Kimberly was angry about this, and punched me when I refused to give into her torments."

By the end of her lie, my mouth was hanging, and my body was shaking. Not with fear, but with rage. If the principal hadn't arrived to the scene, I was sure that she wouldn't be alive to tell the story of her lie.

Mr. Collision nodded his head to almost every lie her lips formed. I had trouble detecting any emotion from him, but I was sure that it would go against my side.

"Now, that I have heard both of your stories, I can give my honest opinion of this entire ordeal," he began, placing a pencil in his hand.

I grew rigged as his eyes landed on Amber's distraught form. Behind her disguise, you could see the truly, ugly bitch.

"Amber, I would never call a student a liar, but I do have to point some things out. In your original story, you told me that you were heading to class first, not the bathroom," he began, head tilting as her demeanor cracked.

Eyes wide, Amber swallowed the next lie, before creating another one. "T-that is what I said."

Mr. Collision chewed on the end of the pencil as he nodded. "Hm, and didn't you tell me that she threatened you? Please inform me as to why I never heard of these threats in your second story? Also, you did tell me in your first story that Miss Wrighton said that Mr. Ryder was hers, am I correct? Again, why didn't I hear of this twice?" he interrogated her, to my liking.

I could have kissed his feet in gratitude. I had heard too many times of Amber getting off the hook. Perhaps this time, I was lucky.

"Didn't you just say that you never called your students liars?" Amber seethed, her act cracking second by second. "What do you call what you're doing right now?"

"I'm simply checking for the truth. I'm no investigator, but a blind man could see the slap print on Miss Wrighton's cheek," he leaned forward, body pressed against the wooden table. "Now, you have this chance to tell me the complete truth before the law is involved, because I am quite sure you placed a hand on her first."

"That is the truth, and you have no reason to call the authorities on me when she started it!" Amber yelled, fists clenched tightly at her sides.

Mr. Collision allowed another second to pass, before he nodded tightly. With a shake of his head, he turned around in his chair, typing into an electronic device.

Before another lie could be told, the truth was finally shown. On the small devices, it was shown that I was the one who had told the truth.

Even though I had known I was right all along, the reassurance still calmed my heart dearly. I didn't know who Mr. Collision would have sided with without the security cameras.

"Now, it's shown here that you, Miss Patterson, were the first to turn physical. Therefore, you will be escorted out of the school by an officer after I call your parents about this. You have disturbed my time, as well as the other students in the school," the principal told Amber while he said the same thing into his phone, before she exploded entirely.

The principal and I both jumped as Amber knocked over the chair, the sound producing a loud clacking sound. "Y-you can't! I refuse to be treated this way! I was only defending myself!"

"I will inform your father of your punishment," he told her as an officer entered the room.

Her red streaked eyes jumped between all of us before finally landing to me. "This is NOT fair! You're dead, Kimberly! You hear me? Dead! This isn't over for you, you stupid little—" the door was slammed before she could continue her threat.

"She only made it worse on herself with the threat against you," he murmured, shaking his head.

"Now, your punishment," Mr. Collision followed up as he took a seat, once again.

***

As I walked out of the principle's office, I was not the bit of surprised to see Kade still there. I guessed he expected something from me since he had been the one to try and protect me against Amber's wrath.

Well, he would feel highly disappointed.

The principal had suspended me for the rest of the remaining week, which didn't truly feel like it since Thanksgiving break would overlap. I wouldn't have minded it if I hadn't known he called my father after the punishment was given. I was surprised when he questioned if Amber had been treating me this way since my first day of school. I knew that Amber and I's conversation was far from finished, so out of fear, I lied to Mr. Collision. I was planning on doing the same to my dad, until the principal beat me to it.

I marched past Kade, words long gone. I couldn't ignore the aftershave scent of him, or the awakening of those quiet butterflies.

Kade obviously didn't like my lack of attention. I rolled my eyes as I heard his steps close behind mine.

"Hey," he called out to me.

I didn't respond. Instead, I gripped the strap of my bag tighter, held my head high, and continued on toward the exit door. To my luck, the halls of the school now lacked any of the onlookers from earlier.

"Don't walk away from me," Kade demanded, voice firm as if he were the one in control.

At the command, I jerked around, eyes wide with disbelief. "Or what, Kade? You're going to expose me to the world?"

Kade lowered his head, arms crossed at his chest. I grew frustrated as he shook his head, massaging at his temples before meeting my eye.

"Kimberly—"

I raised my hand, conflicted by my own emotions to take his into consideration. "Wait, no! I forgot that you've already done that, right?"

This time, I saw something. I saw the confusion his expression seemed to showcase. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't act clueless, Kade, you told Amber about my mother, my brothers, my dad....you told her everything," I didn't mean to show emotion, but the crack in my voice was noticeable. "You know, I should have listened to you when you warned me. Probably would have hurt a bit less."

His head titled, eyebrow raising. "Kimberly, I know that I'm not your number one in the nice department, but I never told Amber anything about you." He chuckled after his words, as if this were actually funny. "I told you I'd never lie to you, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes at him. "There's no need to lie...I'm sure your conscience can handle the pain," I spat, before making my way out of the school.

Through the clamorous wind that rushed past my ears, I could still hear the opening and shutting of the door behind me. It was obvious that it was Kade who was following me.

"I'm not finished with you," he maintained.

I sped up my footsteps, to who knows where. I wasn't sure that I wanted to go home just yet. That would be another hell for another time of the day.

"The feeling's not mutual," I mumbled, almost positive that he wouldn't hear me.

"Kimberly."

I heard his voice grow desperate. "Kimberly, I didn't tell her anything. Even if I would have told her, don't you think I would be downright honest with you?" I wasn't sure if I should believe him or not. "I'm telling you the truth, okay?"

I was now blinded by the tears. By the hurt, and the frustration with my heart. As bad as it was, any time I was near him, the same emotions I tried so hard to forget surfaced to the top of my heart. This hurt. It really did. The pain of betrayal seemed to hurt more than any physical pain someone could cause.

He had told her my secrets.

She knew of my past, and that was never good. Especially in these circumstances.

I hated to assume. But, the only reasoning I could find was that she had either dug into my past, or Kade had told her everything.

"Kimberly, don't walk away. I'm trying to fucking speak to you."

I didn't stop walking. Even past the school's sign that read Welcome To Winster High School. Besides it all, I continued to grow farther away from Kade.

"Just get in the car, Kimberly," he said. "We need to talk."

I didn't stop walking.

"Don't think I won't pick you up, and put you in the car myself," he said, the warning in his tone evident.

"Whatever," I grumbled loud enough for the both of us to hear.

I heard him draw out a sigh. With his long legs, it didn't take him too long to catch up to me. Finally, his voice sounded out with a plea, "Just get in. Please." His voice fell with desperation, the very thing I never thought I'd hear from someone like him. "Please get in."

Stopping in front of me, he held out two arms to stop me. They didn't touch me, but I found myself glaring down at them, anyway.

His chest heaved with nerves. "I don't want you to get sick from the cold," he said. "Quit making things harder than they have to be. Just let me drive you home. Please." I could see the anger and frustration tucked under wraps behind his desperate expression, just barely holding on.

It seemed that Mother Nature was against me today. I glared up at the sky as the first droplet of rain fell down, slipping down my nose.

Fuck. "You're one to talk," I muttered, changing courses as I followed him back to his car.

"It's taking everything in me to stay calm with you," I heard him say, before he attempted to open my side of the car.

I beat him to it, throwing a glare over my shoulder. "I have hands for a reason."

I rolled my eyes as he did the same, our annoyance towards the other loud and clear. I got inside of the car, and he did the same.

"How long are you suspended for?" he asked after starting up the car.

"Rest of the week," I responded curtly.

I felt him glance at me from the corner of his eye. I did the same, before our eyes connected completely. I shot a glare to cover up my tracks, breaking our contact.

"So, what do you want?" I cut to it.

His fingers drummed at the steering wheel. "What are you talking about?"

I perched my head up on my clenched fist. "You have me in your car, trying to make conversation. Now, why is that?"

"Because I wanted to speak to you," he responded, clear as day.

"Well...talk," I muttered, anger deep in my bones.

Kade was a man who liked to do things on his own time. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he configured his words together.

"I didn't tell Amber anything, Kimberly. I didn't tell anyone anything like that about you. The most I've said about you to Luke and Levi was before we started...this, but I never told them anything that was inside your journal, or anything that you've told me yourself," he said. "I don't know how else to show you that I didn't do it. Maybe she found it, and read it. The only time I've had her at my house ever since I met you was when you walked in, and maybe she found it while I was in the shower or some shit, I don't fucking know. But, I didn't tell her. And, I'm sorry, I know I should have hid it better, but I'll handle her if she tries to spread anything around school," he paused to glance me over for reaction. "I didn't tell her shit, Kimberly. I swear, I didn't. I would never say shit like that about you, or anything concerning your personal life in general, to anyone. Everything you said to me stayed with me."

I looked at him, and I mean, really looked. Even though he had a handsomely resting bitch face, I was probably one of the few people who could notice the shifts in it. The tilt of his lips when he thinks something or someone's funny but is too afraid to react, the way his eyebrows rise when he's shocked at a sweet gesture, the way his voice dips when he's excited but doesn't want to show it, the way he always blushes when I complicate him. I notice it all. I notice him and his reactions clearly.

And, when I watched him speak, I believed him. Kade didn't lie to spare ones feelings, he was one to go head first for it. I didn't think he'd lie about this either.

I nodded silently, and I thought his chest fell at it. Moments of silence passed before he blew out a breath. "Listen, I don't like this."

At my questionable look, Kade motioned to me. "I don't like what you're doing, Kimberly. What you've been doing."

My fogged brain attempted to understand what he was saying, with no luck.

"You breaking the rules, getting into fights, exploding on people, doing what you did to the cheerleaders, you were drinking so much, you could barely even walk just a couple nights ago. It's not you," he said, eyes trained on the road.

He had the nerve.

My eyes zeroed in on him. "And, what exactly is me? Tell me, Kade, since you're such an expert on Kimberly."

"The Kimberly I know would have never done that shit. Yeah, you would have thought about it, but you wouldn't have acted on it because you knew of the consequences. I don't know if it's your friends, or if it's you just wanting to be rebellious, but it's not good," he explained. "The only thing I can get behind is you nearly knocking Amber's ass out, but other than that, fuck no."

I glared at him. "Then, why do you do it?"

He didn't flinch. It seemed he never did. "I'm an asshole, it's expected of me, but not you. You're lucky I covered your ass with your dad at the dinner."

I felt my eyes nearly bulge out of my head as I glared at him. "No one asked you to do it. Besides, this is me." I motioned over myself.  "What, now that I actually fight back, I'm a bad person? Maybe I'm acting this way because I no longer have people like you trying to discourage my actions. I'm just shedding my old skin, and trying on a new one," I said, averting my gaze ahead. "Why am I even telling you this?" I laughed at how absurd I sounded after the things we had already established.

We were supposed to stay away from each other. So, what were we doing now, then?

He remained silent for so long, I thought the conversation to be over until I heard, "You're good. You're pure despite everything, and you still have so much shit left to accomplish. I'm not letting you get lost in the darkness, too." His voice was quiet, so quiet and light that it seemed to tickle and tease at my ears.

"I was always lost," I murmured, shaking my head against the window. "But, no one ever noticed."

"I did, the moment I got to know you."

Neither of us said anything, despite the tension that lingered in the air. Instead, he nodded his head as if he were processing my words in his own special manner. I shook my head, turning my eyes away from him as he took a turn.

He was right, he had noticed. He had only seen me a handful of times, but he caught on sooner than anyone else—who had known me my entire life—did. It was strange: knowing that someone saw past the smiles and laughs. It was even stranger being a witness to his own. Sometimes, I wondered if I edged out his dark scars as he did mine. Instead of diminishing them, he had taught me that they'd always stay, but that I could say fuck you and continue on around them. I wondered if, somehow...I did the same for him.

"How's your dad?" he asked in the midst of our silence.

"He's doing better," I responded, eyes trained on the window.

I bit my lip as another droplet of rain traveled past the others. "Why were you at the hospital?"

"Hmm," he hummed as if he hadn't heard a thing.

My glare clarified my frustration. "Kade."

"Yes?"

"Answer my question," I demanded, as he did me so many times today.

His lips drew into a half-smirk. "I don't have an answer," he said, shrugging.

I bypassed the strain of his muscles as he turned the wheel in another direction. "Didn't you say that you'd never lie?" Kade was an expert at concealing his emotions from the outside world, but like my feelings for him, my ability to catch the smallest crack of truth from him was still there.

"I'm not lying, sweetheart," he scoffed, jaw tweaking under my stare. "You render me speechless every single time I talk to you."

I flushed at his words before averting my gaze. In order to get an answer, I reached for the door handle. I knew that he saw the threat I was holding against him. My hand fell to the latch of the door tugging at it, before the warmth of his hand settled over my body. My back was thrust against the seat, his arm across my stomach.

My eyes were now wide. The energy was back, the connection we had was back. Not that it ever left. We were back, for a minute there.

"Don't you ever try to hurt your self like that, again," he said, his voice thick with undeniable emotion. "Please."

Kade's jaw clenched, his arm moving from me. I didn't expect his hand to stay in place though. Those caramel orbs strengthened our connection as he slowly lowered my hand onto my lap.

His adam's apple bobbed in his throat as we neared my street. "You're going to stay pissed at me anyway, so I might as well tell you," he sighed before continuing. "I'm paying for your dad's hospital bills, and for his medication. That was what I was talking to your doctor about."

What?

His words were clear, but as it set in, I still couldn't configure what he was saying. Kade. The guy who had made my life hell since I first moved here, the guy whose life I had destroyed...he had been the one to help. Him.

"Kade..." I was at utter lost for the right words in the moment.

As normal, he didn't react. Instead, he pulled into my driveway, face forward.

I was sure I looked like an idiot. With my jaw hanging, my eyes wide, and my body shaking in disbelief, I knew that I painted the perfect picture of surprise.

"But, why?" I managed to ask, though my voice was in close comparison with a mouse.

At this, he turned his head. Kade sighed, his eyes shining with annoyance. "Can I not be nice without you questioning it?"

'No, not really.' I wanted to say.

"I-I don't know what to say, Kade," I managed to get out. "Thank you."

I was thankful for what he did. I knew that it didn't mean he completed the action as a form of apology, but it was the fact that he did it. I didn't approve of him paying, but I would be lying if I said we didn't need it. Even with all of us working in the house, we would still have trouble covering the costs of his medication. Along with the hospital bills for his stay, the food, and the ambulance.

I wanted to slap myself out of the trance I was in. My guard still stood strong, even if Kade had completed such a good and caring action.

"Don't thank me," Kade mumbled, his jaw hardened under my stare as he stared out his window. "Your father deserved that and more."

"A thank you isn't enough for what you did...but thank you," I repeated, attempting a smile. "I-I'll pay you back. It won't be soon, but I will—"

His head shook immediately. "I don't want your money, Kimberly," he started. "I didn't do this for a trade or anything, I just wanted to be..." His voice fell as I glanced to him.

My head titled to confirm my confusion. "I can't just..." I blew out a breath. "I'll give you whatever you want, if it's doable, as a thank you."

"Your time," he rushed out, only furthering my confusion. "I would like your time," he repeated slowly.

In a way, I knew exactly what he was saying. I wasn't sure if I was correct, but the only theory I could think of was that he wanted to try us again.

I wasn't sure if I could give him what he wanted.

"Why, Kade? The last time we tried to do this," I paused to motion to the both of us. "It didn't work out...for either of us."

"Don't you think I know that?" he mumbled, before shaking his head as if he were shaking away the negativity. "Let's get something straight here."

"I...can't be with you. But, I want to be near you...fuck, this sounded better in my head," he mumbled the last bit. "I know that we can't be together, and that's why I don't want to be with you. Well, I really fucking do, but..." a curse spewed from his lips before he shook his head.

That hit hard. I couldn't figure out what he was attempting to say, and the longer I listened, the more confused I grew. I could only hear the words, 'I don't want to be with you' and that hit harder than a wrecking ball.

Finally, he shifted to me. "Look...I don't like seeing any other guy near you," he told me. "Besides, Jax, of course he's your friend, but..." his eyes raised to mine.

This time, we looked at each other. Nothing he had said made sense to my ears. From what I learned, he didn't want me as a girlfriend, wanted to be together as friends, but didn't want any other guy to have me either.

My look transpired into a glare. "You know that nothing you just said made any sense, right?"

His eyes fell, his nostrils flaring. "Nevermind, Kimberly." He ran a hand across his face, thumping his head against the headrest as he blew out a breath. "I swear, you always make me start stuttering and shit. Do you know how long it's been since a girl has made me nervous? Fucking never until you."

My skin grew flush as I squeezed either finger in caution of my next step. I thought over his words a moment longer before saying, "I'm gonna go on a limb here, and say that you're asking to be friends?"

At my words, he met my eyes, again. "Yeah?"

I honestly didn't know if I was making the right decision. On one hand, I didn't know what to expect from Kade. On the other hand, I knew that I needed to give something in return for what he had done for my dad.

I couldn't find a good reason for his change. If he were just using me as a joke, then I would be fooled. I had thought we said all we had to say at his house that night.

I had to question myself. This was slightly insane. We would now be friends, but it seemed that problems would surface if another guy would come into the picture. Immediately, Daniel popped into my head as I thought of this.

"What about Daniel?" I questioned.

Kades' lips curled downward into a scowl, his head shaking. "Fuck Daniel."

"He's nice," I attempted, shrugging.

"He's not nice, Kimberly...just listen to me when I tell you to stay away from him," he said to me.

I thought that he was just being possessive, but when our eyes met, I saw the actual concern in them. Though, I didn't understand. I remembered that night at the party when Kade had told Daniel that they had some type of deal.

"But—"

"Kimberly," his words were pleading. "I won't tolerate someone hurting you any longer, and he might just be the person to do it. And, I will gladly die in a jail cell as long as he's in a grave before I am."

I shivered at his words, but took them to mind. I didn't know of the danger Kade actually meant when I mentioned Daniel, but I had trouble believing it. Daniel had been nothing but nice to me, and Kade couldn't control who I was friends with. I dropped that subject for now, but I still didn't forget my next question.

"Kade, what deal did you make with Daniel?" I asked him. "You mentioned it."

His eyebrow raised, along with my suspicion. "What deal?"

I glowered at him. "Don't play dumb...at the party, when you and Daniel were arguing, you told him that you had a deal," I cleared up, though I knew he remembered.

"You were drunk, sweetheart."

Bastard. "But, my ears work just fine," I said.

"Well, not that night," he argued.

"No—" I began before he interrupted.

Kade turned the conversation away, and I knew there would be no way of recovering it. "Someone's pulling up."

It was my dad's vehicle behind us, but it wasn't him inside of it. Instead, it was Teresa who was beginning to step out of the car.

"Shit," I swore under my breath.

Kade noticed my reaction, his eyes flickering to her, then back to me. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

I sighed, palming my warm forehead. "No, the principal already called my dad, so there's no hiding anything." I watched as Teresa glanced at Kade's car, shrugged, then walked inside. It was at this moment, that I was thankful for his tinted windows.

"You could just run away," he shrugged.

"If only it were that easy," I mumbled, before opening his door.

I looked back at him as his hand wrapped around my wrist. "What?"

His eyes ran over my face, before releasing my wrist. "You never gave me an answer about the whole friend, ordeal shit," he clarified.

I shrugged my shoulders, too focused on what would happen in my home. "Maybe I'll call you and tell you." Little did he know.

I shut his door behind me, head hanging as I made my way to the house. I could feel his eyes on my back, but this didn't stop me, despite my jellylike legs.

I turned back toward him, attempting a small smile. "Thank you...for what you did."

He shrugged, leaning on his elbow. It seemed that any pose made him slightly more attractive than the previous time you looked at him. "I need an answer, sweetheart."

With those words, he drove away. Leaving me with the scolding to come, and the answer of a question I didn't have.