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"It's not the broken dreams that break us. It's the ones we don't dare to dream." — Will Schuester 'Glee"
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Chapter 4
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"How have I been messing with him?" I muttered for at least the sixteenth time today.

Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Was there truly any reason for his malice? I couldn't find an answer.

My head was beginning to hurt, again. I needed to get my mind off it, even if it'd only be for a little while.

I pushed open my front door to be met with silence. It wasn't until I got the kitchen that I saw the yellow sticky note attached to the fridge.

Working overtime again. I left some money on the counter so you can go out and buy you some dinner. If you're asleep by the time I get back, then I hope you sleep well. Love you.

Dad.

I should have known. Crumbling the note, I smiled, and grabbed the bill from the counter. I made sure the door was locked, before heading outside.

I hopped into the old, but doable car. Too many  of the wrong memories rushed back once I inhaled the old, dusty scent of the car that left behind the past with it.

A ghost of a smile wandered to my lips as the radio drifted through the car. It was old, but I still could recall the memories attached to it.

When Ryland's mother left him, I remembered when I held him while he cried in his bedroom. This song was the only thing to get him to sleep.

Instead of heading to a restaurant, I went to a grocery store. Groceries would supply for all of us, not only me for this one night.

I groaned over the thought of going into the public eye. Big crowds were a hit or miss when it came to my anxiety. I hated it.

This was where that barely being properly socialized came into form. When my dad got custody, it took me an entire year to be able to go into a big crowd without a panic attack. I was fine to do so now, but it didn't rid me of the chest pains.

My fingers tapped at my sides. "I could just starve, and let dad do the grocery shopping," I muttered before opening the door.

This was things that normal people did without struggle. I needed that. Hiding and cowering away would only increase my worries.

I entered the fairly large grocery store, eyes on the dusty floor tile below me. While I roamed the aisles for what I was been looking for, I kept track of what the total would probably conclude to.

I continued my search through the aisle.  "Where are you noodles?"

My search ceased once I heard a curse from behind me. Yelling followed not even a second later.

I shook my head, muttering, "Just keep walking, Kimberly. It's none of your business."

Another curse hit my ears from the back of the store again, the voice sounding oddly familiar.

My fingers tightened around the basket before I murmured a curse, jerking around. My curiosity was too high to just walk away.

I followed the voices, counting my steps one by one. Instead of fully revealing myself, I stood close to a wall, and pretended to be looking at the meats.

Two individual silhouettes mimicked one anothers' actions as the anger built off of their argument.

"Who is she, Justin?" a voice that belonged of a girl yelled.

I heard their steps shuffling around. "I already told you that it was no one! You have your friends and I have mine, Raven," Justin hissed back.

Raven didn't like the answer she received, apparently. "Well fine, if you want to have so many friends then why in the hell are you still with me?"

"I wish I knew!" he responded, with what sounded like anger, annoyance, and shallowness. "Because I can't think of one good reason right now."

A sniffle escaped from Raven, and I couldn't help but feel a tang of sympathy. Even if I didn't know the girl, she still seemed sad at his confession. He was quite harsh in giving it, that was for sure.

"Fuck you, Justin," she snapped past her tears.

My heartbeat picked up as I heard footsteps closing in on my spot. I jerked around quickly, pretending to be fascinated by the prime-rib. Raven came rushing right past me, her sniffles following.

After she was out of sight, I stared at the spot she was once in. Should I have comforted her?

Would she have helped me if I was in that situation?

I shrugged it off. Oh well. I'd never know.

I continued on through the grocery store. After I had everything I needed, I went to the front of the store for checkout.

All of the cash register aisles were full with impatient people, with matching expressions. I glanced over which one was shorter.

A little blonde girl hung onto her mother's leg, with a look of boredom upon her chubby face. She caught my stare, and revealed two missing teeth in the front of her small mouth. I smiled back at her, awed by her cuteness.

"I can get you over here," someone called from either side of me.

I turned to match that voice to a person. Raven was staring back at me.

It clicked, then. In my head, I cursed at the sight of her. Now that I had a clear look at her, I realized that she was one of the girls who was standing with Natasha and Amber, laughing at their crude jokes.

Now, she was standing in front of me.

I felt my stomach twist in tight, undoable knots once I realized that she might be using this as an opportunity. She was popular, so she had the power to go back and tell Natasha and Amber anything.

Raven eyed me carefully at my hesitation. "How was your visit?" she asked me, her words coming out as if she had a bad case of streptococcus.

My words were barely a squeak as I responded, "Fine."

I wanted to hop behind the register and scan my own shit. She was moving way too slow for my liking.

I felt her gaze burning into the side of my head, almost as if she would get me to look up if she continued to stare.

After a lifetime of scanning, the beeping finally stopped. I heard her ask, "Will that be all?"

I nodded.

"Okay," she said, mustering a small smile. "Your total will be $23.27."

I handed her my money, not even bothering to count it. The quicker I got out of here the better.

I yanked the buggy with a quickness. My insides continued to sweat as I sped-walked out of the grocery store.

"Hey!" Raven called behind me.

I continued to walk towards my dad's car, even past her yells. Why couldn't she leave me alone?

A hand landed against my shoulder. I turned around once I felt the contact, my scowl on display.

She blinked, taken aback for a second before opening her hand. "You forgot your change."

I snatched it away while counting down the seconds. All I needed to do was get away from her, and calm myself before this got worse.

As soon as my hand made contact with the car door, I heard her say, "Wait!"

"You...you heard it, didn't you?" she asked me, a force of defeat in her voice.

I didn't care to answer that. Instead, I responded with, "Just a bit of advice...you could do a whole lot better. If he actually cared about you, then you'd never be this stressed over another woman." I knew that my input had no place in her life, but it was too late to take it back now.

Without checking for a reaction from her, I rushed to hop in my car. I locked the door, starting up the engine with a quickness.

Just breathe, Kimberly.

I wouldn't have to see her, or anyone else in a year.

Although the close-call panic attack was just along the horizon, I managed to smother it until I parked the car.

Closing my eyes, I laid my head flat against the cold, rubber steering wheel. I paid no mind to the rough material, only the cool that followed.

"Milkshake, here I come," I murmured.

At the thought of the nostalgic refreshment, a small hint of a smile feathered my lips. I managed to save just enough to buy a milkshake. After the day I had, it didn't sound too bad.

As I shut the door of the car, I read the bright letters overhead. Dylan's Dine-In Diner.

I smile at the thought of the familiar people inside. My uncle Dylan had owned this place for over twenty years and somehow, he managed to keep everything intact. Since the town was small, everyone considered this place a common hangout spot.

I breathed a sigh of relief once I saw no one, but the employees inside the diner.

As I stepped inside, the smell of freshly cooked meat, and even fresher French fries hit me. It didn't stop there, though. Even without eating, the diner could make a person drool.

"Shay, get your ass over here and help me clean this grill!" a gruff voice demanded from the kitchen.

"You have hands, don't you?" I heard her yell in response.

"You have an off mode, don't you?"

A grin stretched across my face at them. It'd been years, but I could recall their voices without aid.

Shay responded with a, "Oh, shut the hell up, Griff!"

"Suck my—"

"Oh my god!" a voice I pinpointed to my aunt Celeste shouted. "She's here!"

Celeste came from my side, and only a second passed between Shay and Griff peeking out the kitchen door before they came running.

In a matter of seconds, I was being hugged and passed between three people. I welcomed it all wholeheartedly.

I felt my airway begin to labor once Griff got a hold of me, though. "Uh, Griff...I can't breathe."

His eyes went wide. "Oh yeah, sorry kid," he apologized, dropping me down on my two feet.

Shay, his wife, shot daggers at him as she swatted his arm. "You almost crushed the darn girl."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, hush woman. She would have had time to hug me for as long as she wanted if you wouldn't have hogged her for so long," he accused, pointing the spatula at her face, which Shay yanked from his grasp.

Their bickering continued while I scanned them over. It'd been so long since I saw them.

Griff, a grass-green-colored-eyed man stood tall with a prickly, buzz haircut on the top of his head. His beard trailed down the lower half of his circular face while his round, thick stomach poked out of the greased stained apron.

His wife, Shay was a brown-skinned, brown-eyed, African American woman. I remembered how Griff usually made fun of her height, since compared to his 6'4", she was quite smaller with her 5'4".

I always thought of her and Celeste as princesses as a child. Between the both of them, they both wore their confidence proudly and like the beautiful, majestic woman they were.

Shay tossed her waist-length box braids over her shoulder as she grinned at me, face just as pretty and relaxed as I remembered. Her curvy body was covered in a homemade apron that resembled Griffs. Her cocoa skin had a fine glow that bounced right off of her reflection, beautifully.

Even though her and Griff argued like cats and dogs, they were the perfect match for one another. The both of them ran away to be together at a young age, and nothing seemed to break them apart since then. From what I knew, their interracial relationship wasn't supported by either party, and leaving was the only way their lives could carry on how they wanted. I don't know much about either of their families after that. They'd been married for as long as Dylan's Dine-In Diner had been standing though.

Then, there was Celeste, the wife of my uncle. The eccentric Latina who was luckily my aunt.

As she scolded Griff and Shay, her beautiful, high cheekbones fought back a humored grin. Her short, black pixie cut was in a small bun behind her heart-shaped face. She was around the same height, and build as Shay.

At the age of fourteen, she ran away to be with Uncle Dylan because of their families' different political standings. They never returned to their hometown again, and maybe for the best. They created this business together that had held up for twenty years so far. Perhaps that was how Shay and Griff bonded with them so easily: they all shared outstanding stories.

Even though I would be eighteen in a matter of months, I still struggled to understand. I had trouble seeing why my mother would even think about concealing me away from these amazing people.

As a child, my mother barely let me leave the house unless she needed something done. The rare weekends she granted to my father were the only thing I looked forward to back then.

They'd been the ones to help my dad with getting custody of me. My uncle Dylan got him a lawyer, and used a good portion of the diner's funds to fight for me.

My dad would always bring me here for all of the food, and milkshakes I could consume. Shay would cook it up. Dylan, Dad, and Griff watched a game, all while Celeste made my favorite milkshake. After the store closed, they'd all play some type of game with me just to see me laugh.

It was pure heaven to me up until my mother brought me back into her hell.

My mind resorted to at least one positive thing. "Hey, guys?" I spoke through their bickering before raising my voice, "Guys!"

All of their heads whipped towards me in shock. I'd never been a yeller, especially to them.

"Yes, baby?" Celeste's accent coexisted along her words, causing a smile to grow on my face at the familiarity.

I managed a small smile. "Could I have a milkshake?"

Shay passed a look of disbelief at me. "Are you kidding me?" She swept right past me, kissing my cheek as she did. "Of course, you can, baby."

I smiled at all of them. I hadn't seen these people in years, and now that I had, I couldn't imagine being away from them, again.

I started to add, "A chocolate milkshake with—"

My words were cut off by Griff, "With Oreos." His smile softened at me. "We never forgot, honey."

The sound of my milkshake being made caused my insides to stir. I still recalled that peace of hope, and excitement that little girl had at it. The memories here were in a case folder of the very few happy ones.

Celeste jumped into action at my watery eyes, her hands stroking my arms. "What's wrong?"

A choked laugh fell from me. "I missed you. All of you." My eyes swept over them, and the kitchen, where Shay was.

Her expression softened, her own eyes beginning to glisten. "Oh, sweet girl." She pulled me in for a tight hug. "We've missed you more than you'll ever know."

I inhaled her fruity-scented perfume, nodding. I smiled as I embraced her in return.

Griff squeezed my shoulder, a scowl building. "If only Diane would have stopped her narcissistic shit, we could have gotten you home sooner."

"Griff!" Shay exclaimed from the back.

I didn't take any offense, not at all. It was true. My mom was a narcissistic bitch, one that came for every ounce of blood she could. Maybe, just maybe, if she would have thought about someone else other than herself, so many things could have been prevented.

"It's okay, Shay," I reassured her. "He's right."

I felt all of their eyes weigh me down, awaiting my words. But, there was nothing else to be wasted about my mom. What else could I say?

I shrugged. "She is a bitch, and I know this."

Celeste nodded in agreement before scolding me, "No cursing."

I chuckled at her motherly order, glancing around the diner. "Where's uncle Dylan?"

She sighed, pulling her arms over her chest. "He's going to be gone for a month because of some stupid business trip."

I looked at her with sympathy. Those two were usually connected like a puzzle, and I knew it hurt her to be apart from him.

Her sour expression fell into a grin. "Now get up. Let me get a look at you, baby," she demanded.

I stood up, cheeks shaded as her hands spun me in all directions.

My face went flush once her words reached me. A look of pride sounded in her expression. "Who would have guessed my niece would get those curves?"

"Isn't our girl gorgeous? I noticed it when she walked in, Cele! Our baby's all grown up!" Shay shouted from the back, giggling.

Griff pulled his hands to his hips. "Got a boyfriend on you yet, darling?" he asked me, the protectiveness in his tone obvious.

I nearly laughed. "No," I responded simply. There were no boys.

Then, my mind involuntarily traveled to Kade.

Kade, the guy with those pretty amazing biceps. The cutest brown eyes a girl had ever laid eyes on. A face that the universe had spent far too much time on. With pink, full lips that looked so kissable.

What the hell was I thinking?

Kade and I would never happen. I'd never want it to, either. He was a narcissistic asshole, and I was nothing but a puppet to him. The moment I got that diary back though, he'd be left to deal with his crazy shit on his own.

"Kimberly?"

I finally escaped out of my trance and answered to whoever called, "What?"

"So, there is a boy," Celeste teased with a smirk, laughing when Shay agreed.

As hard as I tried to hide it, my cheeks immediately flooded with crimson color. "There's no guy, trust me."

"Oh," Shay pondered. "A girl, then?"

I chuckled. "No."

Before they could dig, I turned the subject around on them. "Anyway...how have you guys been?"

Griff groaned. "Terrible, this pretty woman of mine has been experiencing mood swings everywhere and anywhere," Griff complained, a feigned expression of exhaustion following. "You know, she shoved me into the grill the other day just because her braiding appointment was canceled? Lucky me the darn thing was off."

My chest began to bubble with laughter until I heard a loud slap.

"Ow!" Griff yelped, rubbing at the spot.

I stood to see Shay with a spatula in one hand, and my milkshake in the other.

Her glare fell into a soft expression as she approached me. "Here you go, honey." She placed the glass down in front of me.

Celeste chuckled, her hand going to strands of my hair. "Besides from these two lovesick idiots, things have been just fine around here. It's been busy as hell, though. But, business is flourishing, and so is the money."

I smiled as I pulled the straw to me. I was more than happy for them. Even if things were going bad for me, I was glad that they were at least going good for them.

Silence settled in the small building. I kept my head down until I got to the bottom of the glass.

Once I raised my eyes again, I noticed everyone else's on me.

I glanced between the three of them. "What?"

Griff crossed his arms, stepping up to me. "How are you? We haven't heard you bring yourself up once."

"I'm fine," I answered, with my most picture-perfect smile.

"That can mean a lot of things, sweetie," Celeste told me with an encouraging smile. "Your dad's been telling us about everything following the court case."

I figured that. As soon as my dad was granted custody, he sent me to a therapist. He'd known of my past self-harm, the panic attacks, and the trauma that followed from my mother. The therapy had been a little helpful, but with the amount of bills he had at the time, I did everything that I could to take one less bill off of him. Once I began journaling, I'd found that a bit easier than going down the list of trauma with a stranger.

I felt a hand rub my back in comfort. I gulped at how trapped I felt in it. My heart, nor my mind was ready to reveal its ugly truth at the moment.

"You know we're here for you, right, baby?" Shay reassured, squeezing me in for a hug. "Because we are. Always."

Nodding, I forced a smile. "I know." hopped up from my seat as if I'd just seen Satan. "I need to go get my wallet, though. I'll be right back."

"What are you talking about? You're not paying," Griff argued, passing a look of disbelief at me.

I shook my head. "I'm paying."

Before they could fight me on it, I hurried out of the diner, and to the car. I yanked open the door, and the contents of my bag spilled right out.

What the hell?

I didn't have the best memory, but I thought my bag was in the back, not the front.

I could have moved it, though. I pushed past the memory, putting all of my things back inside in no particular order.

Once I had the money, I returned to the inside. All three bodies watched with raised eyebrows, and curious looks.

My confusion worsened as I placed the money down. "What?" I asked unsteadily.

She shook her head, scooting it back to me. "No need for this."

I sighed. "Celeste, I already told you—"

Her head shook. "No, I mean that someone else already paid for it," she told me with one perfectly perfect eyebrow raised. Her eyes hung with a knowing look. "A boy."

"What?" My confusion grew even further. "What did he look like?"

She leaned against the counter, crossing her arms at me. "He was tatted, with the most pretty brown eyes, and black hair." Her knowing look grew humored as she winked at me.

It wasn't too hard to piece together.

Kade.

***

My hands loosely gripped the grocery bags to the door. Once I crossed the threshold, I was met with a quiet room, and a pacing Ryland.

His eyes jumped over to me. "Kimberly! Where the hell have you been?"

I shrugged past him. "I went to the diner."

Ryland scoffed after me, his steps falling on top of mine. "You didn't think it was important to give me a call back?"

I placed the bags on top of the counter. "I got distracted," I responded, a ting of guilt following.

Ryland had always carried guilt since the moment dad told him of my life in Illinois. He'd felt bad that he couldn't protect me, that he had lived a good life here while I was stuck there. I held no type of malice for him, though. We couldn't help how life had turned out.

Even though I had a line of brothers back home, the only real one I'd ever considered was Ryland. I'd reassured him, time and time again, that there was no need for forgiveness. Even then though, he vowed to protect me in every way in order to make up for it.

"What the hell gets you so distracted that you can't pick up your phone?" Ryland continued to interrogate me. "I've been waiting for you for hours. I thought something happened."

What the hell was wrong with him? "I told you where I was. Celeste and I, we were talking about me getting a job there. You know, just to help out a bit around here."

Ryland scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "What? No. You're not working during senior year," he decided for me.

I shook my head. "Yes, I am." I placed the jug of milk inside of the fridge. "I already told them I was doing it."

His eyes swept over me. "There's no need for a job," he told me. "You're going to be too busy for your senior year."

I shrugged his assumptions off. I wouldn't be busy at all other than the schoolwork, and college applications. It wasn't like I had any friends to keep me out.

"It's too late, I already told them I was going to—"

His hand slammed against the table. "I don't care, Kimberly! You're not missing out on senior year, and that's the end of the damn discussion."

As he grew closer in a staggering step, I caught the stench of alcohol. I wasn't even sure how I missed it at first.

My face fell with disappointment. "You're drunk," I stated the obvious.

His expression drew back in. "I'm not."

"You are."

He shrugged my accusation off. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I rolled my eyes; he could argue with the wall for all I care. "Whatever, Ryland. I'm going to bed." I passed him to get to the my room.

Once I finished my shower, I gladly jumped into bed. I thought sleep would come naturally, but the longer I thought on the conversation at the diner, the more my mind wandered.

"His name was Kade," I sighed.

"Who?" all three of them asked in sync.

"The guy was Kade," I repeated. "The one who paid for my milkshake."

Celeste was the first one to speak, "Strange. He just walked right in, told us he wanted to pay for it, then left a huge tip to go right along with it."

I nodded, shaking off the sinking in my stomach. "I have to go guys, tell uncle Dylan I said hello."

As sleep began to overtake me, the thought stayed in my head. Kade did something nice. To me.

For what, though?

He stole my diary. He hated me, so why pay for my milkshake without even telling me he was there? Perhaps it was just him trying to be a smart-ass.

I rolled my eyes at myself, deciding to no longer ponder on it. Sleep could help with that. Finally, the impact of the day caused my eyes to close.