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"My life is my message."-- Mahatma Gandhi———————————————————

Chapter 32|part 5
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As Kade jumped down the stairs two at a time, I knew it was a matter of pure seconds before I would have to suffer the consequences. I pushed through my fear and turned to flee the scene.

My legs ached from how far I pushed them, but I was slowed by the mass. Just as I caught sight of the door between a gap of men, someone grasped me from behind.

I released a gasp as I was spun around.

Green eyes glared down at me, his hands tightening around my wrist. "What the fuck are you doing?!" Levi shouted, to my surprise.

I couldn't answer; my throat was lodged up. Fear overpowered my will to speak, so instead, I offered a shrug.

I was surprised at the fact that Levi was the one yelling. I would have thought it if Luke without question, but never Levi.

His eyes were widened with what I guessed was fear. He shook me, his fingers digging into my skin. "Answer me, Kimberly! What the fuck were you thinking?"

My gaze fell. "I-I just wanted to help..." my voice diminished into nothingness at his harsh glare.

Levi's expression was as hard as nails, I didn't even think it was possible for him. "What the fuck, Kimberly? Do you think that getting yourself hurt or worse by these assholes would have helped him?!"

Guilt hit me so hard, I stumbled. I didn't think about it that way. I was too enticed in helping Kade to realize the things that could have happened to me if I had landed in the wrong hands. No one could have saved me from there if it had.

"But he won," I tried to help myself, despite the tremble of my skin. "I'm sorry; I wasn't thinking."

Levi laughed, though the sound was distasteful to my ears. "Yeah, you're right you weren't." His eyes tore into my very soul so roughly, I had to look away.

His mouth shut as did his eyes for a moment as he massaged at his temples. With a heavy sigh, he pulled me by the wrist to the room from earlier. I didn't fight against his hard tug; I knew I'd messed up by going out there, regardless of the win.

I squeezed the corners of each finger as we came to a stop. Kade was already on the bench, unwrapping the bloodied material from his wrist and hands. Luke stood behind him, fumbling through a locker.

Kade glanced up a moment later, casting me a side glance before he went back to wrapping. I swallowed the lump in my throat, preparing for whichever of the consequences would come first. His figure remained the same, eyes narrowed and focused on the gauze. His mouth didn't open until he was finished rewrapping his hands.

Luke placed a shirt next to him, nodding in return as Kade mumbled a thanks. Levi joined Luke by the lockers, casting me a nervous glance. Luke wore a smirk, his arms crossed as he flickered his eyes between Kade and I. We all stood in silence, the intensity of the quiet conversation only adding to my nerves. I felt as if I were going to burst into flames any minute now.

Levi stepped away from the lockers first, motioning toward Luke, who scowled in return before falling into step. "We'll go tell Adrian that you're almost ready," he told Kade.

Kade nodded his head, then Luke and Levi left the room. For the first time, I felt awkward in Kades company. Now I kind of wished his friends stayed, even at my own cost. I stood in my spot, my insides burned and crisped to a corpse.

My voice was tiny, but it felt as if it could bounce off of the walls. "Kade—"

His head hung between his legs, hands clasped and shaky as his legs bounced. "Don't say shit to me right now, Kimberly," he said, voice croaky. "Don't. Say. Shit."

My head fell right along with my stomach. He was angry, and I just needed to let the air chill down first before I tried to explain myself.

I still didn't understand exactly why he was angry, though. I was only trying to help him because I cared. And, what was wrong with caring about someone and showing it? I couldn't pinpoint the issue like he had, and that slowly irked me.

I couldn't help but grow agitated by the minute. I had tried to help him, only to be yelled at by both him and his friends. I knew I shouldn't have endangered myself but it was the only way. It was frustrating. Day by day, I was beginning to grow tired of trying to help people, just to be let down all over again.

Kade remained in that same position, only sometimes breaking it to clench a jaw. His glare didn't move from the wall as Luke poked his head through the door. "Come on, fucker. They're all about to fucking piss themselves for you."

Kade raised himself from the bench, then jerked around to me. I nearly felt myself crumble under him as his hardened eyes narrowed at me. "Get back in the room," he demanded with a rough edge, as if I were some type of damned animal.

I gathered up my courage, placing it all in the root of my throat. Even if it meant being let down again, I wasn't going to suffer this willingly. Being selfless had gotten me nowhere all of my life, and I had never opposed the other person for their ungratefulness. But, that changed today.

My gaze remained on the pile of cigarette butts. "No," I murmured.

Kade—who was too enticed in his locker—jerked around, his hard gaze narrowed in on me. "What did you just say?" His legs moved with fury as he marched himself around the bench and to me.

"I said no," I responded, voice shaky.

I can do this.

He kissed his teeth, a hand massaging at his temples as he chuckled, his head falling. "Kimberly, sweetheart, it's taking every fucking fiber inside of me not to lose my shit right now. After everything you pulled tonight..." he spoke, his words close to a growl. "Get. Back. In. The. Room."

Slowly, I drug my gaze up his figure until I reached his eyes. If I would have believed he'd hurt me physically, I probably would have run but that wasn't the case. "I said, no. I'm not some person you can control anymore, Kade. I can do whatever I want."

"Kimberly—" he stopped himself as his voice rose. He stepped closer, beckoning my back against the lockers. His brows drew in with the rage, eyes ablaze with anger. "I'll lock your ass in the room if I have to, but I'm not about to argue with you."

I forced my shaky gaze into a glare. "And, I'm not about to let you control me—"

His fist lurched into the lockers, not even close enough for me to feel the gravity of it, but enough to make the lockers shudder under his strength. "I'm not controlling you; I'm trying to fucking protect you!" he shouted, his glare traveling with unnerving anger.

"I'm not afraid!" I snapped back. "I can take care of myself, Kade."

His penetrating gaze probed mine, but I held my ground. My eyes were beginning to peel with tears from the staring contest.

Without another word, he grabbed my hand. Pushing open the door with full force, he drug me behind him.

I struggled to keep up with his long strides, but I held my legs up enough to carry on. The inside of the arena was practically empty now, replaced with vacant seats, which were either turnt over or sticky with beer.

"What are you doing?" I yelled at Kade's back, attempting to yank free.

Instead of responding, he only gripped me tighter in his hand, not enough to hurt but enough to pull me along. The more we carried on, the louder I thought the walls banged and buzzed. We were on the other side of the building if I could guess from the amount of walking.

I glanced at him, still puzzled. "What is—"

My words were cut off as Kade pushed the door open.

The people that were once inside, were now here. Their shouts and yells were even louder now, but it seemed as if nothing could outmatch the roar of car engines.

The cool November wind threatened to topple me over. "W-what are you doing?" I asked Kade, tripping over my words.

Kade led us through but we stopped at what seemed like a stand. Men were already waiting there, shoving different things into Kades direction. He nodded as a man gave him gloves, but once another offered him a helmet, Kade shook his head.

He grasped me by the hand again, pulling us along until we were in front of one of the cars. He looked at me with a shrug, nodding at the buzzing sports car.

"You said you can take care of yourself, right?" he said, a smug smirk on his face. "Well, show me, tough girl. Get in."

I didn't see or notice anything else other than the command, not even the growing crowd behind us.

My eyes widened at him. "No, let me go!" I shouted, though it made no difference.

Kade opened my side, and quite literally placed me inside of the car, despite my tantrum. His face was grim with annoyance at my fight, and by the time he had gotten in the drivers' side, it felt as if I had used twenty years of energy.

In the dark blue sports car next to us, a middle aged man—who I assumed to be Shag—looked at us. His oily black hair was long, reaching the end of his chin. His eyes were shielded by black sunglasses, though it was pitch dark outside. Shags' high cheekbones were noticeably skinny, matching his body frame. A chill ran right through me as he revealed his yellow teeth to me with a Cheshire grin.

The crowd surrounded the starting line, their excitement even audible past the interior of the car. A girl with nothing but a bikini on came to the center of the track, a bright, yellow flag in hand as she beamed to the crowd.

Shag rolled down his window as he revved his engine. "Good luck, Ryder!" His words were phony, only to be believed by the naive. "You know I'm always rooting for you, boy!" He rolled his window back up, whipping his eyes forward.

Kade's fingers curled around the wheel, his eyes narrowed forward. A crooked smirk wandered to his lips as he glared ahead. "Cocky little bitch," he mumbled.

I drug my widened eyes from his adrenaline pumped figure. Oh my god. I gulped, pressing my entire body against the seat. This was how I was going to die; I knew it and I needed to accept it.

I shut my eyes, daring my nerves to remain at minimum. I imagined myself in another place: at home, away from this bloody place, away from this loud car, and away from the loud roars of the engines.

But, when the car lurched forward, I knew that my wishes were far from true. Instinctively, my eyes opened quick enough to see that yellow flag fall.

Kades' eyes were focused on the track in front of him, his full concentration laid upon it. I clenched the sides of my legs so hard, I felt the pads of my thumbs nearly mend through. My heart pounded so hard in my ears, I thought it'd give out any chance now.

"Slow down!" I screamed, my anxiety beginning to hit it's peak.

I gaped at him as he only sped up. His foot remained on the gas, despite the differences between his and Shag's vehicle right now. Kade was far ahead, but he never once spared a glance back.

His eyebrows were drawn close together, his expression curt and focused. I turned my head past the seat I sat in, attempting to find Shag's car.

Shag's vehicle remained behind ours, but by the rour of his engine, I had a feeling that wouldn't last long. Kade was driving like it wouldn't. I rushed out a sigh, slamming my back against the seat as I willed for this to end.

Kade glanced to me, blinking multiple times before turning away. I noticed his slight tremor as he continued to cast short glances at me.

For a second, I thought that I imagined it. But I hadn't. Slowly, the speed of the car slowed, not majorly but enough to be noticeable. He slowed down for me. I cast a glance to Kade, whose attention shifted.

All I saw was something blue fly right by us before I actually noticed. "Shit!" Kade cursed as Shag's car passed ours.

He had been willing to lose the race just to stop me from having a panic attack.

I looked at him, slightly frightened as I noticed the lines in his face deepen. My heart jumped into my throat, my words slightly choked because of it.

I leaned up slightly, craning my neck to get a clear look of what was ahead. I nodded slowly to myself as I processed the next move. It could work.

"Take a sharp right turn, and hit the gas," I mumbled, eyes ramming against the glass.

Kade's frustrated eyes were now on me. I dared myself to look his way, engulfed in my doubt as his mouth opened.

He shook his head immediately. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he said, words glued down by his anger.

I ground my fingers into the armrest. "Just trust me."

Kade chuckled, but his expression remained dark. "Trust you?"

Shag appeared on his side, laying all of his focus onto the track. A smug expression followed up along my face as I glared at Kade.

He didn't spare another glance, but I knew he caught the slight smirk on my face. My attitude fell as soon as he followed on what I said, causing my body to lurch forward.

I caught myself, my back slamming against the seat once I returned from the impact. My eyes were widened in shock, but Kade only found amusement at this, his own smirk following.

My hands insecurely searched my body before the confusion drew in.

Kade chuckled at my puzzled expression, his fingers digging into the shaft as he shifted gears. "No seatbelts in here, sweetheart."

When I thought it couldn't get worse, it only did. These people were truly hoping for a death sentence. "What the fuck," I breathed out, glaring ahead.

"Wouldn't want to ruin the fun," he mumbled, never glancing at me.

Our space was full with the roars of the engines, but I still heard him. I didn't quite know what he meant, but what I did know was that there was no fun in this.

How could anyone find fun in this life? It was dangerous, daring, and piss yourself scary. All of the things I was not.

"Just have fun, Kimberly. Enjoy yourself and..." Kade paused to catch the turn. "Just say fuck it. To every damn thing and every damn body. Fuck them and fuck it, you get me?"

How he said that so easily, I had no idea. There was no way in hell I could enjoy myself in such a dangerous situation. All I could think about was making it out alive, if that was even possible. The longer the night carried on though, the more slim that chance got.

I practiced my breathing exercises, but with an edge since I was literally in a car with a man who never even heard of a brake. But, I continued on. Slowly, I allowed my mind to sink.

You're at the beach, I told myself.

I imagined the track to be the sand. I envisioned the the cold water that engulfed my body to be the car, and continued on with this until I felt my heart slow. Squeezing my eyes tightly, I repeated the demand to myself to calm down.

Once I opened them, I couldn't understand what had happened. All I knew, was that my once horror-filled dread had been edged out by a slightly calmer feeling.

"You should drift right through the curves now; they'll be empty," I whispered, focusing my eyes ahead.

Kade rolled his eyes, his foot nearly breaking through the floor as he slammed onto the gas. "Why is that?"

I shook my head at his snicker. "Because he's probably driving slower now. He thinks you're not as close, so surprise him."

My words made sense in my head, though I hoped they proved to be true right now.

Without any words of agreement, he lurched right through the curves without the worry of crashing into Shag's car. This time, I was slightly prepared, back glued against the seat, and arms braced against the door and whatever surface I could grab.

I was pretty sure that no seatbelts in any vehicle was illegal. But, the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it didn't quite matter since this car was possibly stolen. They probably weren't making a checklist of these things any time soon.

Proven right by my theory, Shag had grown so cocky, he had slowed down tremendously. Like lighting, Kade swept right past him. I saw him gape in shock before attempting to regain the spot back, but for now, he was simply lingering. We were in for the win now, and I could only hope that it continued to stay this way.

We passed the finish line first, but when Kade continued to raise his speed, I knew that this wasn't over. The announcer did demand two crosses over the finish line. With a heavy stomach, I mumbled a prayer as we passed the crowd, again.

"Having fun?" Kade asked at my stiff pose.

"Far from it," I shot in return. 

This only caused a smirk to overcome his lips. I shook at my head at his attitude, slightly envious that he enjoyed this so easily.

Kade sighed as he continued to cast glances my way. "Just calm down and enjoy the wind through your hair, or whatever the fuck that shit saying is."

I wished the rolling contents of my stomach could hear that. "Easier said than done."

Kade's vehicle slowed for a turn, but he made it smoothly. The wheel turned in his hands, and he caught it incredibly swiftly before gearing down so hard, the road seemed to crack under the pressure.

I continued to remind myself to stay calm. To ignore the fearful thoughts my mind continued to have, despite their constant nagging and urging. I continued to look at Kade's calm demeanor, attempting to match it.

I had to tell myself I would be alright. Kade had probably done this a great number of times, and from what I had learned, he had won a large number of them as well. While staying alive. So, why would he stop now?

Because I'm in the car.

I nearly chuckled at that before the reality washed over me. I swallowed tightly, shoveling down my fear as the crack of the window sent air my way. I began to turn to thank Kade but the wind caught me first. It drifted through my hair, running it's cool fingers throughout the strands, causing loose hair to fly from the ponytail. I couldn't shield my smile, even as Kades' gaze darted toward mine.

"Having fun?" he repeated.

I didn't answer, instead focusing on the calm, lulling wind. My opiate had arrived, and by every passing second, I felt it take affect.

Kades' eyes jumped between the rear-view mirror and the track. "Fuck."

Shag's car had caught up to ours. Through the window, I could smell the intoxicating smell of rubber and gasoline as Shag passed Kade's car, kicking the dust.

"Motherfucker!" Kade seethed through clenched teeth.

He shifted gears, slamming his foot onto the pedal. I heard a couple bones in his neck pop as he leaned in closer to the wheel. I was engulfed at the dangerous look that passed across his expression before settling there.

His stern features were now clouded with anger, eyes blazing with a bright fire of emotion. The adrenaline of the speed sinked in, and his hard demeanor only added to the rush.

My hand still clutched the interior of the car for support. I'd hate to see Kades' reaction if he lost tonight. From his closed off expression, I could tell that in his mind, it was only himself, Shag, and the track.

"You're not going to win, motherfucker," he muttered, his speed accelerating as we fell close to a turn.

Instead of slowing down, Kade was too caught up in his emotions to lower his speed. Because of this, the car tire skidded roughly against the pavement before Kade gained control of the car.

"Slow down," I bit my tongue as the words ran past my lips.

I could feel the impact of my words as his angry glare slid over me. He continued with his pace as he shifted gears, again.

The wind fought back, only pushing Kade's inner turmoil harder. When the wind swept back, Kade only pushed back harder. He was on the very brim of danger, and I knew he was close to falling.

"I'm not slowing down for your sake," he imformed me, scowling as Shag's vehicle kicked the dust. "I should have never..." he shook his head before he finished, scowling.

My own gaze shifted into one of annoyance. "Kade." By the malcontent expression, I knew he was far away, but I continued on anyway, "Listen to me. Slow the hell down for a second."

I didn't expect him to listen so soon, but he did. The car slowed, and by his white tipped fingers, I knew that if my plan didn't work, I would be in the deep trenches.

I waited for us to reach the very peak of the race, eyeing Shags' moves as he continued to taunt us with his profound speed. But, I had a trick up my sleeve.

I leaned away from the seat, craning my head ahead. "When I get to three, hit the gas and leave him in the dust," I demanded to Kade, who shook his head.

"There's no fucking way I'm listening to you," he snorted, chuckling to himself. "No fucking way." Anger and frustration mixed into a disaster as I glared at the side of his face.

"Well, you're going to lose if you don't, then," I spat back.

I didn't know what had gotten into me, but maybe his sarcastic responses and attitude had begun to rub off on me.

One huff later, he squeezed his eyes shut before mumbling something to himself. Doing as I said, he sat up in his seat, eyes squinted ahead.

My fingers curled around the dash as I calculated for any misstep. "One."

"What the fuck am I doing?" I heard him mutter.

"Two," I continued, nodding to myself.

He ran a hand over his face, shaking his head as he stared at Shag's car. "I swear if I fucking lose—"

"Three!"

Even though I had planned to pull myself back into my seat, Kade's arm lurched out immediately, pushing me back so that I wouldn't hit my head before making his move.

The car lurched forward, my lungs going right with it as I felt the invisible impact hit me. Roughly, I felt the cold wind against my face, the hard adrenaline through my bones, the high my excitement brought on. I felt it all.

I didn't know a thing about racing; hell, I didn't even like to go past 65 MPH. But, like many things, this was only physics, observation, and common sense. It was easy to contrast the three for a victory.

Just as I imagined, the car went far past Shags'. I felt the anger shed off of the man next to me as Kade skidded right past his.

I swung my gaze to Kade. "Go!" I shouted, my words fed by the adrenaline.

I laughed in joy as a grin slithered pass his lips. "Calm down, sweetheart." His words were meant to be offensive, but it made my chest bubble with laughter.

I leapt up from my seat, grasping the headrest for dear life as I looked. My happiness only grew as I watched Shag mess up the turn behind us; he was still recovering from his faults.

"Cocky son of a bitch," I repeated Kades' saying with a chuckle. His lips pulled into a smirk as he shook his head before I looked to him. "You're going to win."

My words were only proven true as we grew closer and closer to the last turn. I saw him glance at me through the corner of his eye, despite his appeared bond on the track ahead of us.

Shag was far from done though. He caught another sharp turn quickly, growing dangerously close again.

I grew fearful once again, my stomach filling with dread. Kades' eyes moved to the side, brows drawing in as he focused on something. By the stern expression, I knew that he was planning something risky.

I was still watching, but Kade pulled me down by the pocket of his hoodie. His hand pressed into my tummy again, pushing me back into the seat. I looked at him with confusion, even despite the awakened butterflies.

He jerked the wheel, causing the car to nearly stop, which allowed Shag to get ahead of us. I frowned in confusion, eyeing him down.

My chest shook with disbelief. "Kade, what are you doing?" I urged. "You were so close!"

Kade said nothing, his expression glossed over as he sped up once more. Just enough to put us in place with Shag.

Without warning, Kade slid the car tires in between the barrier and the inner side of the track. Mere inches were left between ours and Shag's vehicle. I held my breath as I awaited a crash or something.

I turned my head to catch Shag roughly slam onto his brake as he saw how dangerously close we were. Kade smirked at this move, and it clicked as to what he had done. Shag only fed into his trick.

Kade's arm reached up to pull the sunroof back, delivering a middle finger to his opponent. "Dumb fucker," he chuckled under his breath.

Shag had slowed down to the point of nearly stopping. Thankfully, he managed to miss the ending turn. There was no way he could catch up before the finish line; we had left him in the dust.

Kade's trick caused a grin to pass my lips and stay there. Without anymore effort, Kade swept right by the finish line. Past the door, I could hear and see blobs of people cheering and screaming over the victory.

My heart slammed against my rib cage as I vibrated in excitement. But, I didn't think it was possible to even pull my ass from this seat. During the race, I might have actually molded into the car.

As the car skidded to a final stop, Kade's unreadable emotion irked me. But, this did nothing to contain my excitement for his win.

My lips stretched into a grin as I beamed. "You did it! You won!"

Kade said nothing, but with the engine still running, he came to my side. The crowds' cheers were uprising, but as Kade pulled me out of the car, it was no longer a problem nor was it a distraction.

Gone were the loud shouts and yells of the crowd. Instead, it was replaced with the words of our silent conversation.

I gulped down my heart, nearly stumbling as his hand stretched out. One pulled me in by the waist, and the other pulled me by the pocket of his hoodie. When I met his eyes, his own were blinded by a great layer of emotions.

His head tilted with admiration as he gazed down at me. "We won, thanks to you," he said, breath fanning against my lips.

I grew hot, body flushing red as we only grew closer and closer. Long gone were our surroundings, and instead it was just him and I.

My chest shook as I smiled. "You know...that was actually pretty fun," I said, words coming out restrained.

"Mhm." Kade nodded, his eyes falling downward before ascending to mine. "Not more fun than this though, right?"

I frowned in confusion as I gazed up at him. "What—"

Before my words were fully out, he pulled me smack against him. He tilted my head up, our lips landing against each others.

I nearly melted into his very figure, but his arms supported me. I didn't even try to fight. Because, I knew there would be no point.

I couldn't keep fighting it.