Enjoy beautiful people! 🤍

"The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves." —John Connor 'Terminator Series'
———————————————————

Chapter 2
<——————————————->

My eyes opened in their own at the harsh sunlight. I squinted in frustration, before groggily raising myself to the headboard.

It felt as if I'd blinked, and all of the memories from yesterday came in like a wrecking ball. When I woke, I only had on average thirty seconds of peace before the chaos in my head rang free.

I pinched myself several times to clarify that I was actually awake. I sighed at the pain. It was true, and it was real. Kade had my diary, the one thing that best separated my emotions from reality.

I didn't know if he had even read through it yet, but if so, then I could only pray that he didn't share the things in that book. Either way, it all made my stomach turn.

My father's head popped through the opened crack of my door. "Breakfast is ready, honey."

I nodded my head, smiling at him. "I'll be out there in a second." I swung my legs over the bed, and hurried off to the bathroom.

After showering and dressing, I checked myself out in the mirror. I don't even know why I did this anymore, due to the fact that nothing ever changes.

Brown, bland eyes, fair skin, and a lightly crooked nose stared back at me in the reflection. My brown hair was still in the low ponytail from last night, and my weight and height obviously hadn't dropped.

Yep, same old, same old.

As I walked down the hallway to the kitchen, I hurried my steps at the scent of pancakes. My favorite type of breakfast, despite it being a forgiving tactic. Since my dad and brother felt guilty for the move, both of them had been extra nice lately.

I didn't blame them though; I had no reason to. Nothing in Illinois awaited me except an abusive mother, and even worse stepbrothers. The move was the best option for all of us, especially after all of the court dates. 

Ryland, my twenty-one year old brother, was speaking to my dad about god knows what. I rounded the corner just as he looked up. When his eyes met mine, he grinned.

"Finally, the princess awakens," he expressed in a dramatic manner.

I rolled my eyes at him, but struggled to fight the small smile tugging at my lips. "Good morning to you too, Ryland."

Ryland was my half-brother, but that never truly made a difference in our relationship. Until four years ago, we'd been around each other maybe three or four times. Though, once our dad moved me into his house, we'd been close ever since.

We barely looked alike, but dad always claimed we did think alike. His shoulder-length, dirty-blonde hair curled at the nape of his tanned neck, and around his ears. His green eyes often reminded me of the beautiful gift of Mother nature. Since he often worked out, his physical fitness was impressive. With the personality of an angel, and a handsome face, my brother really was a hit with the ladies.

He was annoying to me, though.

Ryland and I had the same father, just not the same mother. He was only four years older, but this didn't strain our care for one another too much. Since we moved, he was either at his college classes or at work, so we hadn't been together too much these past few months. But, even if we didn't hang out as much as we would like to, I knew that he was still the brother I always loved, and my genuine only resemblance of a friend.

Years were wasted between me, him, and my father because my mother was one hateful bitch. From what I knew, a lot of different issues blossomed before my birth.

My dad, and my mother had already been married, before he left her for Ryland's mother. Soon after, their marriage was broken up for a short minute when my father and mother shared a moment in their bed, again, which resulted in me. Though, Ryland's mother, and my dad weren't together, even though they shared a three-year old child, who was Ryland.

From what I heard, my dad didn't want to be with my mother due to his love for Ryland's mom, but he did want me. My mom—of course, being the narcissist she is— struggled with the rejection, and used her many connections to fight for full custody of me. I didn't know how my dad did it, but somehow he managed to win back his custody rights. The day he placed me in his car, and drove me away from that hell was one of the best days in my entire life. Fifteen years of hell—

A loud clatter of dishes interrupted my train of thought. My gaze fell toward the direction of the sound to see my father cursing at a broken dish.

I stood from my chair. "Sit. I got it."

His expression suggested an argument until his back pain ended the conversation. I grabbed a broom then knelt to pick up the large pieces. Ryland fell beside me, placing the larger glass shards in a separate pile.

"Don't cut yourself," he warned me.

I rolled my eyes at the protective attitude he carried. "Wow, really? I hadn't thought of that."

Even though I feigned annoyance, I appreciated it. Him. The last two years he did his best to protect me, to make up for it, to show me a true brother. I would never forget it.

"Smart-ass." His laugh brought a smile to my face as we picked up the last shards.

I flicked my head toward dad. "Is he ok?"

His tall body was stiff and his green eyes were so incredibly tired, it pained me to look into them. His thickened black hair was beginning to gray, probably from all of the work and extra shifts he'd picked up to support us.

Ryland's mother, Teresa, left my father once I came into their lives. She told him it was too much to deal with and considered me the 'bastard' of the family, even though she'd been the one to play a part in my parents separation.

Instead of taking her son, she'd let him with us as well. That was the match to the flame that seemed to spark up our lives' forever.

As a single parent, dad tried his best to take care of our needs. When he found out about the abuse in Illinois, he packed up him and Ryland and worked every single day to bring me back to him. I could never ask for a better father or a better brother. Even if our family was a bit messed up, it was our family.

Ryland placed the shards in a bin, and swept up the remaining glass. After we washed our hands, we took a seat on either side of the table.

In between bites, my dad decided to lead toward the topic I dreaded. "So, how was school, honey?"

I focused on not biting my tongue off as I chewed on my pancake. "Fine." The universe would have cackled at that answer if she wasn't so busy screwing me right now.

Ryland sipped his coffee, sweeping a hand through his hair as he kicked the seat up. "Make any new friends?"

I only nodded in response while taking a sip of apple juice. "Yep. Tons."

Dad smiled warmly, gripping my hand in his. "That's great, baby. We're happy to see that you're still succeeding."

Ha! If only he knew. 

I continued to chew on my food until I thought of a different subject. "How was work?"

I knew that this would get him talking. We moved into town a month and a half ago, so he had to change jobs.

My dad shrugged. "Eh, stressful as usual. You know the boss's assistant was almost fired over the coffee being cold?" Ryland chuckled, but the sound drifted along with everything else.

My mind began to wander off on its own. My worries bit at my ass as I thought back to that bastard.

Kade had turned my life upside down in a matter of twenty-four hours. My hands itched to have my diary back, to hold it again without the thought of anyone else knowing the contents of the inside. And, what did he mean by deals?

What had I done to make him despise me so quickly? Nothing, from what I knew. At least nothing significant.

I configured over the different possibilities until the panic rose. If he'd even gotten to the middle of the diary, he's be able to use years and years of secrets against me.

My heart plummeted into my stomach. I felt my bones starting to tremor at the thought of my trauma being in the wrong hands.

Rubbing my temples, I cursed the incoming headache. I continued to remind myself that my family was around. I had to stay strong, for them and for myself.

Dad began to close up on his—what I was assuming was quite humorous from Ryland's laughter—story until my phone's alarm rung out.

I stood up, pressing a kiss into dads cheek. "I'm heading to school guys," I called out before looking to my brother, who was attempting to down his glass in record time. "And, I'm walking today, Ryland."

He placed his glass of OJ down, a confused expression following up. "You sure? It's cold outside, and you really don't need to get sick—"

I feigned annoyance before I pulled the thought. "Ryland, I'm seventeen and am having cramps. Do you really want to—"

Ryland's face scrunched up as I chuckled. "Okay, yeah, no. Nevermind, get out."

Dad shook his head with batches of chuckles, as well. With a kiss to the cheek, he said, "Bye baby, I love you."

I smiled down at him. "I love you, too."

I hugged him, and then Ryland, who protested, but returned the hug, nonetheless. Finally, I was heading out the door.

My small headache began to worsen at the feel of cool wind. I wouldn't go back to get a ride, though. I honestly didn't want Ryland to waste his money on gas for a trip to the school, just to go back home until his classes started. Plus, I needed time alone to think.

I'd been using that excuse for so long, but in all truth, all the time in the world wouldn't be enough to piece my cursed piece of a mind up.

My walk started off as peaceful, until a car braking sounded out. A seconds later, a voice threw a round of harsh words towards me.

Her voice didn't help my headache. "Come on, you stupid pig, get the hell out of the way!" the same girl who'd been aside the first to insult me yesterday morning yelled.

"Good one, Amber," another voice encouraged her.

I hated confrontation. My anxiety and it never mixed, plus, I knew that they all had insecurities of their own. Ones they'd have to harshly confront one day.

I had to keep it moving. They weren't worth my attention.

I drifted to the sidewalk with my head hanging. Though, my guard remained up when I realized that her car hadn't pulled away, yet.

Before I could comprehend what had happened, a wet substance was dripping from my body. Amber and her friend sped away in a hurry, their laughs following behind them. Their laughter resembled a loud, very obnoxious, bitchy siren to my ears.

"Bitches!" I shouted after their car.

I comprehended on calling my brother and dad to see if I could sit today out, but then decided against it. I had to woman the hell up. This wasn't important enough for them to come home early for, and I knew they would ask too many questions. Like my dad had said, he was proud of me for succeeding, and I couldn't let him down out of all people. I just couldn't.

I continued to remind myself that the outfit was only a hoodie and jeans. It could be replaced, and the stains would dry before I got to the school.

Once I arrived to school, I kept my head down while I walked to the front door. I just hoped the stains weren't showing too bad. Pushing past the other students, I hurried to the restrooms.

Wetting a paper towel, I cleaned both my face and eyes before I paused to glare at myself in the mirror. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I couldn't quite understand why the people here wouldn't just leave me the hell alone. That wasn't too much to ask for.

Silently, I cursed as I felt the tears leak out the corner of my eyes. My frustration grew as I glared at the empty stall door.

Why? I asked myself.

Why couldn't my life be normal? Why couldn't I have been born to a real mother? Why did Kade have to steal the only thing that helped me cope? The closest thing to free I'd ever had...was gone.

My lips parted to release the breath of anger I hadn't even been aware I was holding.

I looked into the mirror at my distraught expression. My red eyes were raw with the amount of times they'd been wiped or rubbed. My body shook in sync with my breathing as I gripped the cool sink.

"I hate him," I whispered, as if it could change something about my situation.

In my seventeen years of life, I'd strongly disliked people. I'd even despised them in such a way that even the devil would shake his head at.

But, Kade?

I fucking hated him.