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"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."— Og Mandino
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Chapter 42
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I squeezed my eyes shut as the water continued to elevate. I didn't know how long I sat in the bathtub, the different possibles of tonight sinking me down.

To say I was nervous, was an understatement. Disquieted? Nerve-racked? Perhaps, fearful. It seemed that none of these could even barely constru my true feelings of the situation.

I had a plan. Though, I really didn't know why. My plans weren't always the correct solution, but maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

I wanted to imagine that this would be like a romance film. That I would be the girl in a beautiful dress, my hand gripping the staircase as I walked down to my charismatic date.

"Reality," I murmured, rolling my eyes at myself. "Stay in reality."

After what felt like hours, I stood up in the bathtub. The wave of cool air hit my body like a storm, and I quickly left the bathroom.

I decided on a regular tee, along with a pair of jeans. I found myself questioning my appearance, before I decided that it satisfied me, so it should do the same for him. It wasn't like we were going on a date; we were friends.

I sighed as I glanced at my phone for the millionth time tonight. I expected to be more worried about tonight with Kade, but instead, my anxiety peaked at the thought of Raven being hurt.

My calls were either directed to her voicemail, or completely ignored. My texts were the same, but the amount of messages I left voiced my worry. Maybe she would answer soon, but if not, then I could just drop by her place.

I breathed out another sigh as I swiped out of her contact. I had very few contacts, but the ones I did have, were all scattered close. It was no surprise that Kade's contact was only a couple away from Ravens.

I glared at the phone. "Thanks for the reminder." I drew out a long breath, before flopping back into my bed with my arms stretched above my head.

I glanced at my phone's time. It read seven-o-clock. Only an hour away from Kade's suggested time.

'He might be out to kill you' I tormented myself as I thought out tonight.

"He's not a murderer," I murmured for my own comfort. But, he definitely had the hands for one. The way he fought that night at the cages, the man could definitely defend himself.

With a clouded mind, I smothered myself with the pillow.

The torment was strong. Slowly, the time continued to slip from my fingers, much like grains of sand. One minute, turned into ten minutes. Ten minutes turned into an hour. An hour turned into two hours.

At this point, I was hanging from the edge. My fingers were slipping off of the building, and I felt myself anxious. More than before, if possible.

I stared at my phone. The time now read nine-o-clock. I was almost positive that the clock was against me in this.

When the zero transitioned into a one, my eye twitched. I gripped the decade-old phone in my hand, the frail metal trembling underneath my hands. My lips pursed as my anger grew.

Screw it.

I pressed Kade's contact info. My finger hovered over the phone icon, the pressure of it all weighing down. I mumbled a prayer of encouragement, before my finger hit the call button.

I placed the phone to my ear, with my fingers to my mouth. I was far too frustrated to care about the ruin of my nails.

In the back of my mind, I figured he wouldn't answer. Or, that he would at least let the phone ring.

Instead, I was sent to his voicemail.

My anger was hard to catch, but I was holding onto it. Tightly.

I wanted to hit something, I wanted to...

I jumped as my phone beeped, signaling that there was a message.

Kade: Don't call me.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard. They were itching to respond with my true feelings. But, I knew that would be uncalled for. I could practically see the sly smirk on his face, since he knew what he had done. He knew that he could play me. And, it worked.

I stared down at my jeans, my fists clenched on either side of me. So much for not caring.

***

My phone's bright screen glared back at me. My eyes squinted in search for something. Anything.

Yet, still nothing.

I pressed my cheek into my pillow, my eyes squeezing shut. It was no use, though. I knew that sleep wouldn't come.

Thump!

I jumped as the sound bounced off of my window. I looked up at the glass, my eyes wide.

"Maybe it was a bird, or something," I murmured the lie. I didn't want to go to the window and see an axe murderer waiting for me, so for right now, it's going to be a bird making that noise.

Slowly, I leaned back into my bed. My eyes continued to search my surroundings, my heart struggling against it's restraints.

I turned my back towards the wall, my eyes concentrated on the wooden nightstand. I couldn't help but to allow my eyes to wander off toward the window.

Thump!

My eyes grew large in size as I shot up from my bed. Fuck it. I walked to the window, though I made sure to keep my distance. I caught glance of a dark figure, who stood on the edge of my road.

In dark clothes, it was hard to decipher them. But, once he looked up, I was frozen.

He caught my look, his brown eyes still visible through the night sky. The moon bounced off of him, one side of his face visible.

He mouthed something that I couldn't place. In a heap, I walked to the window to open it. He approached closer, and since my house was a one level, we were practically face to face.

With a pair of black sweats, and his typical tee, the only thing that stood out were his eyes. "Come out here."

I wanted to hit him. To discard of his body in the nearest river. He was casual with these type of things, and that awakened my fury.

"Where were you?" I hissed.

He didn't look surprised at my question. He dipped his head, a hand running over his face. I continued to glare at him as he raised his eyes to my face.

"I had to handle some things," he said.

"Great excuse," I responded sarcastically.

I went to shut my window, before his hand reached through the opening. I gulped as he placed his hand in mine, his eyes glued to my face.

His head titled, and I saw an apologetic message in his expression. "I'm serious, Kimberly." He sighed. "I know I fucked up, but my claim from last night still stands. I want to talk to you." His eyes were desperate. "Come with me. Please."

I thought over it as quickly as I could. I hated to admit it, but I was scared. I didn't know whether or not this would make a difference. Sometimes it seemed like everything else didn't, either. I didn't want that to be tonight.

I glanced down at our hands, before I searched his face. "Honesty?"

His eyebrows grew closer to the other. "What?"

I sighed, lifting my chin. "Do you promise me honesty tonight, if I decide to go? Nothing but truth, no matter what I ask."

He glanced around at his surroundings, before sighing. "Yes, you'll get the complete truth."

I stuck out my pinky as a corny seal. "Pinky promise?"

He rolled his eyes, the smallest of chuckles leaving his lips. "How in the hell is—"

"Kade," I snapped.

His pinky wrapped around mine, his scowl visible. "Promise."

***

"Who bought this for you, again?" I questioned as I ran a hand over the grass.

We were back at the spot where it all started. His secluded spot, only minutes away from the hotel.

The hotel.

Kade reached into the bag of food, handing me mine first. I nodded as a thank you, but I still awaited his response.

"Grandma Jacky," he answered.

I nodded, unwrapping my burger. "That's so sweet of her."

He shrugged his shoulders, biting into his French fry.

"You don't really talk about her, do you?" I asked him as the silence stretched.

"I don't like to talk about my family."

"Kade," I sighed.

He looked at me.

"Communication is a strong need of tonight. You said you would be honest," I reminded him.

He placed his burger down, and so did I. I watched as he picked at the grass underneath him.

I placed a hand on his leg, my lips lifting. "Just start slow...you don't have to tell me everything tonight. It's okay."

He stared at my hand, before shutting his eyes, and turning his head away in resistance. I sighed as I realized that this might be harder than anticipated.

Silence stood between us. I almost jumped at his voice.

"I don't know how to open up," he admitted in the midst. "I've never had someone care enough to ask it of me before. So, I just learned to...I don't know, deal with shit on my own. It's been that way forever."

My heart clenched as I gazed at him. A man, who had flocks of women and friends, an abundance of wealth, but none of it meant a thing. I knew none of that mattered if he felt alone. But, he wasn't anymore.

"You're not alone," I reassured. "I'm here, now. I can be your..." my head fell as I thought on it before looking to him. "Your talking buddy."

He leaned back on his palms, his head falling. He was trying to hide a smile.

"My talking buddy," he repeated, his voice hanging.

Laughter bubbles in my chest as I nodded. "Mhm. You can talk to me about anything and I'll be there to listen. Always." I hoped he sensed the truth in those words, because I desperately meant them.

"What if I don't know how to..." his voice fell into a whisper as he shook his head. "Never mind. It sounds stupid."

I chewed on the soggy fry as I read him over. I figured what he was trying to say, and I understood it wholeheartedly.

"It's okay," I said. "I suck at opening up, too. But, whenever I'm around you, the words just come out on their own."

His eyes ran me over with an unreadable emotion. "Really?"

I nodded.

"You make me feel so fucking nervous," he chuckled, pulling at a chunk of grass.

I raised an eyebrow. Me? "Why?"

His shoulders slumped as he spoke, "When I talk, I usually don't give two fucks about what I say, whether it's a swear or just the overall truth," he responded with a sigh. "But you...I'll spend all night thinking about what I should have said, or what I will say. I don't want to upset you, and I don't want you to see me the same way other people do. But, I fuck it up, every time, I guess."

A smile wandered upon my lips at his confession. He really had no idea. "I love hearing you swear, actually. It's kind of funny when we're talking about something completely innocent, and you're just like..." I cleared my throat in order to emphasis his voice, "'Fucking hell.'"

Kades' head flickered up at me, his expression dull. Then, it happened. His head swung back, his Adam's apple bobbing as he released the deep, throaty laughter. I was so mesmerized by it, I didn't catch myself staring until he came back for air.

He swept a hand through his hair, his eyes crinkling at the end from the laughter. "Shit, my bad."

I felt breathless at the harmony of him. "Don't be sorry."

"You did kind of good with that impression," he said with an appreciative nod of his head.

"Kind of?"

"Mhm," he nodded, throwing a fry back.

I admired him for a moment, despite his curious expression. He thought himself a monster, and unlovable. I wondered how he saw so lowly of himself, when I saw the beauty of what he was. He was beautiful.

"Your laughs are really beautiful," I rushed out without an ounce of regret. "And, your dimple when you smile. It's nice. Really nice."

I stared him over for reaction, but when I caught it, it nearly sent me into hysteria. His cheeks grew red, so red that it seemed almost painful.

Kade Ryder was blushing.

This time, it was my turn to smirk. I chuckled down at my container of fries before taking one. Just as I bit into it, I heard him.

"Your smile..." he said, clearing his throat a moment later. "I love your smile. It makes me want me want to do the same every time I see it." He averted his eyes, his last words a bit of a murmur, "Because of how beautiful it is."

I looked up at him; now it was my turn to blush.

"Oh." Breathless laughter shook my lips. "Thank you."

Our silence stretched for a moment, but I didn't feel an ounce of tension between us. A smile flourished past my lips every time I thought of what he said. I make him want to smile every time I do it. That simple fact made my stomach flutter.

I looked up to him, to catch him in his own train of thought as well. "You know what we just did?"

He looked to me.

"We just talked," I confirmed with a smile. "You opened up."

I could see the train wheels working in his head as he thought my words over. Finally, I saw his head tilt at me. "Fuck me, I did." He blinked several times, then ran a hand down his face at the realization.

I nodded with a smile. "Mhm, and I think you're going to do it again. All you have to do is say whatever comes to your mind, and I'll listen."

"What if you don't like what I have to say?" his voice fell as he shook his head. "I just...I don't want to scare you."

Before I could think it over, the first thought spilled out of my lips, "Your scars don't scare me."

His expression fell into another. Through the night, I heard him suck in a breath so tight, his chest caved as well. His eyes softened as he gazed me over. For a moment, I thought I saw...admiration.

Moments passed, and for a second, I thought I may have scared him off. I parted my lips to correct it but before I could, he said, "Grandma Jacky...she's my dad's mother."

"It disgusts me to even acknowledge the bastard as my father," he mumbled, his head turned toward the water.

Slowly, I placed my food down and crossed my legs under myself. Like I had told him, I wanted to hear it all.

"My dad...he was a hateful man. He would do and say anything that would manipulate Susie into believing that he would change. But, I knew. I knew that the empty cans of Bud Light, and the bruises on Susie weren't an accident, as she acknowledged them."

I squeezed his leg as I saw his jaw lock in place, the tick visible.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I'm one to talk about being hateful, huh?" he chuckled, the hairs on his head falling over the very tips of his brows.

I shook my head. "You are not your father, Kade."

He shrugged, indifferent to the claim.

"Grandma Jacky...she helped bring me up. Actually, she's the only person I'll ever give credit to. She was one of the first to notice the bruises, but when she asked, I lied," he caught my eyes. "I didn't—I didn't want her to hate my dad—her son. It was her that invited us to stay with her in Wisconsin until Susie could cut ties with my dad during one of the trials. But..." he cleared his throat. "Things didn't go the way any of us thought they would."

The only version of this that I knew of was his mothers. But, hearing it from the actual person that experienced it, was much more.

I squeezed his hard leg. "It's alright if you want to stop," I whispered to him.

I drew back as I noticed his reddened eyes. "I promised you honesty."

"This," I motioned between us. "Is more than enough, Kade."

I bit back a gasp as I felt his hand drop on top of mine. "You deserve more, and I'm trying so hard to give you that, sweetheart. I am."

My insides grew heavy with emotion as I nodded. As badly as I thought I wanted to hear it, I didn't want to force him back into that place. "We can talk abut something else...if you would like."

His nod confirmed the conversation shift.

"Why were you late?" I asked him.

"I had some things to handle," he stated.

I dared to go further by asking, "What type of things?"

"You don't want to know."

"I'm asking, though," I responded.

He pulled a french fry from his bag of food. I took notice of his lack of eye contact, and I figured that this meant something.

At his silence, I removed my hand from his leg. I ran a hand through my hair, and picked at the loose piece of lettuce on my burger.

I raised my head as I heard his newfound voice.

"I was supposed to fight a while back, but I didn't go," he revealed. "You remember Angelo?"

I nodded, not even attempting to disguise my scowl. How could I forget Angelo?

"Well, I was supposed to fight his partner, Chivo. But, I didn't because I went to that party, to make sure that nothing happened to you. I didn't really care about the fight anyway; it was an easy win. But, it pissed Chivo off because the fight was supposed to be his biggest," he said.

"You missed a fight...just to watch over me at a party?" I asked slowly.

He nodded. "I wasn't going to let shit happen to you, whether you hated me or not. I made sure everyone knew to leave you alone, because half of those fuckers would have been too happy to spike your drink. Angelo just wanted to fuck with me by using you. Once he heard around what you meant to me, he told Chivo."

My head titled at the confession. My mind was racing, and if I listened too closely, I would have been distracted by the rapid beating of my heart. He had protected me, even though I had practically given him every reason not to. If he wouldn't have been there that night, Angelo surely would have succeeded in whatever he planned.

But, something didn't click. It was only one fight; it couldn't mean that much for either of them.

"But, it's only one fight," I stated.

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, if he would have won, he could have walked away with nearly eighty-thousand dollars."

My eyes widened. Now, I knew why Chivo was so angry. But, what did that mean for Kade?

"Why so much?" I asked, eyes still large in size.

He took a minute to chew his burger. I nibbled on a fry as he took his sweet, terrible time.

"I'm the best fighter in the cages, Kimberly. Cocky as fuck, yeah, but everyone knows it's true. I've never been defeated, or close to it. The only time I almost lost my title was when Angelo and I fought, and that was because..." Kades' eyes were now on me.

I felt naked underneath his eyes. I squirmed as I avoided eye contact.

"Because, why?" I pushed.

"Kimberly..."

"Tell me, Kade," I said.

"Because I knew that you were there...and, possibly in danger," he pushed an invading strand out of his face.

Me?

My blood grew cold at him. His words were full of...fear? I guess we were both scared for the other on the night of the fight, but that didn't correlate with what I heard.

Kade shook his head, dislodging my thought process. "Chivo...he's using you against me. The pussy put a fucking target on you, Kimberly."

I felt the air rush out of my lungs. I didn't care, or even attempt to catch the fry as it slipped from my fingers. This wasn't real. It couldn't be.

I could see that there was something else he was hiding. I didn't know what it was, but I was going to find out.

I leaned in closer. "Kade, what else?"

"Angelo...he fucked up my ribs. Bad."

He sighed. "I was late for tonight because we met. He gave me an ultimatum. Your life, or a match with him by next month," he informed me.

I felt tears rush to my eyes. Logically, this was my fault. I was the one who started the feud between Kade and Angelo. If I wouldn't have went to the party, Kade would have went to the match like normal instead of trying to protect me. I was the reason Kade would have to participate in a fight with an injured rib.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, his head tilting at me.

I turned my head away, squeezing my eyes shut. "This is my fault. I should have never went to the party with Raven, I should have never talked to Angelo. It's my fault that you had to fight him and mess up your ribs."

I could feel his heavy stare. I didn't bother returning his look, because I already knew what he would do. He would tell me that it wasn't my fault, when we both knew it was.

"You're right. It was your fault," Kade said.

I whipped my head towards him, my mouth dropping. My response was cut off before it even began as Kade's lips parted again to speak.

"But, Angelo putting his hands on you wasn't. I chose to fight, and I sure as hell don't regret it. Do you really that I would let any of them lay a finger on you? I would do it all over again if it meant protecting you. Do you understand me?" His voice was rough, but the words were genuine.

I felt my heart melt in my chest as his words sank in. My breathing stopped, while my heartbeat continued even more rapidly as I savored his words. If he weren't so close, I wouldn't hesitate in grabbing my heart, and ripping it from it's strings, in order to cease the fatal beating.

I needed to say something. Something that would prove that I felt the same way, while not scaring him away at the same time.

'Impossible,' I thought.

"You can't be possibly thinking of fighting him can you? Something might happen to your ribs, or worse, something might happen to you," I expressed.

Kade shook his head. "I know what I'm doing. I've been doing this shit for years, and it won't stop now."

"Kade," I sighed.

"I'm not a child, Kimberly."

I glared at him. "I never said that you were. But, how can't you see that this could end bad either way?"

"It'll end bad if you get hurt," he said.

I stood up, my frustration rising. "It'll be even worse if you come out injured, or dead!" I exclaimed.

I knew that this would be a thing where we both had different opinions. But, for one minute, I needed him to see mine. I understood his need to protect me from his life, but I couldn't take—no I couldn't bare the thought of losing him.

I felt my confidence deflate as he lifted himself up. His height, and quarterback-like shoulders didn't quite help my case either. I gulped as I saw the recognizable fire in his eyes.

"It's settled, Kimberly. You can't protect me from protecting you," he said, words growing fierce by the moment. "I won't lose you."

I glared into his eyes as he continued to stand his ground. I stood mine, as well, my hands clenched at my sides.

"I don't care what happens to me if you're not—" I looked down as I realized that I couldn't bare to say the word aloud.

My breath was caught in my throat as he reached out. I didn't flinch, though my eyes were as wide as saucers, if not in the lead. I had to remind myself to complete my next oxygen cycle as I felt his fingers brush my skin.

He laid his forehead on mine. From my red as a tomato face, down to my blistering heart, some would think that I was an active runner.

"If you die, I die," he mumbled, though his words were loud and clear.

I had always wondered if love was just a psychological stance of companionship for the people who were too naive to see otherwise. Including the fireworks, or as its originally called, butterflies, in their stomach. But, when those five words were said from Kade Ryder, the guy who I vowed to hate, the guy who I swore to be the worst of the worst...

I knew that it was real. Instead of fireworks, my stomach twisted in tight, silly knots. Ones that would cause you to grab your stomach if in private.

I opened my eyes as I felt myself begin to waver away from reality. I caught contact with Kade, who stared me down like a lion who planned to close in on his prey.

Kade raised his head from mine, the secluded spot cold now. I withdrew a shaky breath as he placed his hands on my cheeks, his long fingers grazing my ears, and my neck.

His tongue peeked out to lick his lip, but as swiftly as it came, it was just as quickly gone. "I want to kiss you so badly right now, sweetheart."

My chest raised against his, before falling again. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want that, too. To say I was starved of his lips would be an understatement.

His head tilted, leaning back to get a view of me. His eyes weighed heavy with both fear, and want. "Is it...are you okay with me kissing you?" The huskiness in his voice melted my heart into a mess.

I dropped my head, a small smile rising. "Friends don't kiss." I chuckled as I saw his lips lift.

"Fuck that," he mumbled, a chuckle following as he leaned forward.

I attempted to tell myself to go slow. But, as I felt his lip graze mine, I realized that I starved for something much more complex than anything else. Him.

I could tell he didn't expect my kiss to be so rough. I hadn't, either. But, being around him always edged out a different side me.

I didn't realize that my hands were in his hair until I felt the soft locks trapped in between my fingers. I leaned in closer as I felt his lips grow far more fierce against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck once I noticed his hands close in around my waist, lowering me to the ground.

I no longer cared about what tomorrow would hold, or the day after that. I shoved all of the thoughts about Angelo, about Natasha and Amber, about Chivo, and about my home life. All of it was a bystander in this moment.

I felt my heart blossom as Kades' lips found their way to my neck. I was careful to avoid his ribs as I trailed my hands to the end of his shirt, only shutting my eyes to relish in the pleasure of his cushiony lips on my neck.

I felt my eyes widen as I felt a hard, long pressure against my naval. My cheeks flooded as I realized that he was enjoying this as much as I was.

I went to lift his shirt, before he caught hold of my hand.

I looked at him in confusion. "What's wrong?"

His hooded eyes fell across my lips. "Nothing...I just don't want to do that to you," he said.

I nodded slowly. "Oh."

At his mistake, he scrambled to correct his words. "I won't take something so precious from you in the middle of the woods, in the middle of the night, Kimberly." I felt his fingers tip my chin up. "I know you saw what you did to me by just a simple kiss. Anything you do drives me crazy, and you don't even know it. You're not Amber, or Natasha, or some random chick I met. You're not. You're far more. I refuse to do that to you here."

I smiled, nodding my head. "I understand."

I glanced down as my fingers went to my neck. I wasn't sure if Kade had left a hickey on my neck, or not. I blushed as I relished in the thought.

"What time is it?" he asked me.

I reached back into my pocket to pull out my phone. "About to reach twelve o'clock, why?"

"We should get you home," he said.

I nodded. I knew there was always a strong chance of my dad finding out that I snuck out, but I could care less right now.

The walk back wasn't very long, but by the time we reached his car, I had thought over what to say. I knew that this might burn the bridges we so barely built, but perhaps I could prevent us from falling.

"Kade, wait," I called out.

I breathed out slowly as he turned toward me, his eyebrow raised in question.

"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry...for what my mother and I did to your family. I was selfish. I was a child yes, but with enough common sense to know that I had lied in front of a judge. And, possibly taken a life, along with yours and your mom's. I am so sorry for what I said—for what I did. And, I know that an apology doesn't make up for what I did, and it never will, but I say this whole heartedly," I blinked away the line of tears. "If I could choose between my life, and his again, I would gladly go. I apologize for not only me, but my mother, too."

This had been dwelling on me for awhile, now. I tried so hard to push it back, and attempt to find some blame on some else, but it was impossible. I was the reason why Kade had to suffer in his own home for years, along with his mother, and little brother.

I could see that Kade wasn't expecting the apology. All of these years, I was sure that he had a plan for demolishment for me. But, perhaps, he changed his mind. In a good world, we would be perfect, two souls connected by the past. Though, this was reality, and this wasn't quite that.

Kade's head bowed as he attempted to disguise his emotions. "You're sorry?"

"With my entire heart," I whispered.

I saw the emotions flicker across his expression as he sighed. He dug either hand into his pockets as he approached me.

He pulled a hand from his pocket, slowly craning my head up by my chin. "For so long...I dreamed of hearing those words from you, but I don't need it. You don't have to give it. You were a kid...we were all children and we were surviving. I knew, from the moment I saw you, the real you, that you weren't the monster I envisioned you to be all of those years. You were an angel. I tried so, so hard to go through with my plan to ruin your life, but I couldn't. I can't. Because...you're the most impeccable person I've ever met, sweetheart. You see things better, you do things better, you make things better. You make me better, you make me want to be better. And, I will be, for you. For my brother." I saw his eyes twinkle with tears as he finished.

I would have fallen if I wasn't so grounded to the dirt. I drew him in, the sob hanging in my throat as I grasped him. Kades' arms were wrapped around me before I could notice anything, his head in my neck.

I felt the tear escape my eye as I ran a hand through his black locks. "I miss him," he rasped.

"I know," I whispered, stroking the back of his head. "And, I know, for a fact, that he misses you too."

He lifted his head, his eyes finding mine. "You think so?"

I nodded my head, placing my hands on his cheeks. "I know so."

***

I jumped as I realized that my phone had beeped. It had been so long since a sound was heard in the silence of the car, and the random vibration spooked me at first.

Raven: I'm alright. Don't worry about me.

I rolled my eyes at the message, though I was happy to see that she texted back. I responded with a short message, before shutting my phone off.

"Your phone should be in an antique shop," Kade commented.

I glared at him at his insult, though I couldn't help the small chuckle. "You should be a freakin' comedian, you know."

I smiled as he smirked, shaking his head. I twiddled with the slightly bent material on my phone.

"Besides, not everyone can get the new phone with the new apps," I said to him. "I like my phone, anyway."

"Yeah, sure."

I withheld a sigh as I saw him turn on my street. I felt the seconds tick by, my mind racing for something to say. I would be lying to myself if I said that I didn't want to see him soon.

I nibbled on my lip as he turned into my driveway. I could only hope that no one had woken up yet.

"Today was a good start of our...friendship," the word triggered my gag reflex.

Was that our title? Friends? I wasn't sure of what to make of it just yet, but I knew that the title didn't quite sit right with me.

"Mhm," he hummed with a crooked smirk. "Because friends definitely do what we just did, right?"

I shrugged, my skin flushed out. "It depends." Laughter skipped from my lips as I undid the seatbelt.

"Kimberly," he said, his expression growing serious.

I looked at him.

"I'm not kidding when I say I need you to call me if you feel like you're in danger. Even if you think you're being paranoid, you're probably not. You get me?"

I nodded my head. "I promise I will."

At his tense stature, I placed my hand on his arm. "Kade, you have nothing to worry about. I'm fine, and you'll be the first to know if I feel like I'm unsafe."

I didn't know as to whether or not this calmed him, but by his squeeze of my hand, I guessed it did. My eyes flickered to my window as I saw the curtains in my house flicker open, then close.

"I'll see you later," I couldn't finish the sentence with a timeframe since it was unpredictable.

I sighed as I watched the curtains move again. In a hurry, I shut Kade's door, and rushed to my front door.

"Who was that?"

I jumped as I heard my brother's voice. I glared at Ryland as I realized that he was the one behind the curtain.

I continued to glower at him. "What were you doing watching me?"

He crossed his arms. "What were you doing outside while you're grounded?" Ryland questioned.

I sighed as I felt his question smother me with guilt. I knew that I had broken a rule, but he had done the same, if not worse, in his teenage years.

"What's been up with you lately? Sneaking out, getting into fights...what's up?" he questioned me.

I walked past him in order to avoid his questions, and get to my bedroom quicker. I sighed as I heard his footsteps close in behind me.

"Ryland, can you please just let me go to bed?"

I watched as he leaned against the nearest wall, his arms crossed. His green eyes were interrogating as they raked over my face.

"You know, I think dad should know about this," he began. "You're grounded for a reason."

"Ryland," I hissed.

"Then, tell me what's been going on with you lately," he said.

I shoved a hand into the pillow as my frustration hit the roof. "Oh my god," I snapped, standing. "Why are you acting like you're my parent?"

"I'm only worried about you."

I chuckled. "What? So, now you care?" I shot at him.

He sighed, shaking his head. "What are you talking about?"

He knew exactly what I was talking about. "Ever since Teresa came home, you've been an asshole. Just because she's here is not a reason to start treating me like shit," I snapped.

He ran a hand through his locks. "I haven't been—"

"Oh, cut the shit, Ryland," I said to him. "I'm not stupid. Now that Teresa's back, you think you're the king of the world. You have never checked on me, at least not recently. But, the moment I get in trouble, you're a damn trouble detector." It was true, he'd been so busy with his friends at college, I hadn't seen any concern from him in months, so why have to now?

The anger flashed through his eyes. I knew that I shouldn't have snapped so easily, but I was sick of being happy, only to be brought back down by another person.

Ryland leaned away from the wall, his scoff audible. "You want to know something?"

I threw my arms up. "Why the hell not?"

He stepped closer until he was right in my space. "You're just jealous because your own mother couldn't muster up the strength to go to rehab."

My mouth fell at him. My fists clenched by my sides, and I knew that our argument couldn't be ceased from here. "Are you serious? Why the hell would I be jealous of a terrible excuse of a mother who left her own son. Say what you want, but my mother never abandoned me like yours did."

Rylands' eyes narrowed before he shoved a finger into my face. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," I spat in return.

"Well, at least mine didn't give me away to my father who didn't even want you at the time," he said to me, his words dripping with venom. "Since you wanna dig so deep into the past. Let's talk about how you and your perfect mother literally broke a perfect family and marriage apart."

I had to step back as his blow hit me hard, I nearly stumbled. I had to travel over his words once again to fully realize what he had said.

It was no secret that my father had denied my existence for the first couple of years due to his marriage finally being back on track. But, to hear my own brother use that, as well as the abuse I suffered under my mothers' hand...it felt like a punch to the gut.

I blinked at him. "W-what?"

He had realized what was said. His eyes roamed over me, his nostrils flaring before he shook his head. "Nothing, just forget it," he mumbled. "Forget what I just said."

The tears pushed past the barrier, but I held myself up. I pointed to the door, my entire figure shaking with rage. "Get the fuck out. Now."

He remained in his spot for a moment longer, before his chest fell. With a heavy sigh, he stepped out.

I slammed the door right in his face. The anger ran so deep, I could barely even remember the other people in the house. I didn't even bother changing, since I was already comfortable in my original clothing.

I rested my head against the pillow, attempting to find the good of tonight before the bad. As hurtful as Rylands' words were, I had something else to sustain me. A small smile settled on my lips as I realized that things had perhaps became easier between Kade and I.

I rolled over in my bed, settling my hands on my stomach. "Things never become easier." I sighed before darkness settled over my eyes.