Chapter 5 Part 23: Rantaro's Resolve
Rantaro's POV:
Kaito was really something special when it came to his role in this situation. I failed to realize that until now. Kaito told me something I felt I needed to hear. When I thought all was lost, he told me those words I needed to hear. Kaito really was amazing, and saying what I said would most definitely give him an ego boost, but it was true.
"Of course I believe in everyone!" Kaito shouted in response, "as *the* Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, it's my job to believe in everyone. What you think is impossible is possible! You just have to change your mindset is all!"
Kaito puffed his chest proudly as he said those words. He really did have an ego, but his heart was in the right place. I couldn't stop myself from smiling though. My will felt reenforced as well as my resolve solidifying. As long as someone believed in me, I felt like I could do something to help (y/n) forgive me.
I was overthinking everything to the point where I didn't realize what type of personality (y/n) had and how certain points of her personality matched with Kaito and Kaede. She wasn't the type to hold a grudge, but even if someone believed in me, I knew I still needed to keep my finger's crossed.
"You really need to believe in yourself, Rantaro," Kaito told me, "I knew from the beginning you didn't even know whether to trust yourself or not. What I say is trust your heart, not just your mind! I know you've been struggling with all this bullshit, and so have all of us. We need to keep moving forward and find a way to overcome this. Overcoming the truth is what will put us into the right mindset if we want to save (y/n)!"
"Well then maybe you should try and repair your relationship with her and Shuichi," I laughed, "I mean you've been avoiding both of them longer than I did..."
"Ah, damnit..." Kaito replied with a slightly uncomfortable look, "that's going to be so awkward...."
Kaito had an uncomfortable looking expression on his face as I brought up his relationship with (y/n) and Shuichi. There was actually something I didn't really understand. Why was Kaito avoiding those two? They were such good friends. I felt like now would be a good time to ask. If he wasn't going to tell me about his condition, then I at least wanted to know why he was avoiding those two.
"Kaito, if you don't mind me askin', why were you avoiding (y/n) and Shuichi?" I asked.
"So you want to know about that..." Kaito muttered, "I mean you tried asking me about it a few days ago, but I kinda refused to answer if I'm remembering things correctly."
"Maybe you should take your own advice, Kaito," I chuckled, "you need to move forward if you want to help your friends, right? So please tell me."
Kaito looked at me with a look of slight shock on his face. It was only visible for a moment before his eyesight shifted away from my general direction. It was similar to his actions when (y/n) or Shuichi even spoke. It was obvious that me pinning the topic on him was making him uncomfortable.
"It's kinda an awkward reason though," Kaito told me, "it feels like my reason is pretty idiotic... but I guess you're right. I should take my own advice. Maybe it would be easier for me to make up with her if I know how to explain it...
"Take your time, Kaito," I told him, "I mean I'm already taking some of your free time by talking to you. I know it seems like I'm asking much, but I just want to know your reasoning... I want to be able to understand everyone more..."
"I get it man," Kaito replied, "huh, you are a lot more open now then you were before. I like this side of you, man. I wouldn't be able to hear the end of it from Maki Roll if I continued being stubborn, so I'll tell you. I'm past being stubborn anymore since she pushed me out of the way while I was in a rage... from the way I was ignoring her, I didn't deserve that..."
I knew how Kaito felt. I knew we were getting off topic about why Kaito was ignoring both Shuichi and (y/n). I couldn't dismiss Kaito's feelings. I couldn't imagine what he felt when he was pushed away, not even a second later (y/n) getting slammed down by the Exisal and picked up like a rag doll. He was probably one of the most frustrated in the situation.
I knew a lot of us felt like we didn't deserve (y/n)'s kindness. Kirumi who murdered Ryoma, and was brought back after her execution. Ryoma who was in prison before being taken here. Angie who tried to murder (y/n), but despite that, she still brought her back. I was no different. (y/n) brought me back, and I fell in love with her. But my actions hurt her.
"I know a lot of us didn't deserve the kindness (y/n) gave us," I explained, "but despite our thinking she still helped us even if we thought we didn't deserve it. That's just her character."
"But that part of her character is why I was avoiding her..." Kaito replied, "I already told you what was makin' me so stubborn. The truth is everyone is relying on her and Shuichi to protect everyone. During the trials we had, and almost losing our friends.... (y/n) stood by to protect the people she cared about. I wanted everyone to rely on me. I want to be the one who ultimately saves everyone. But I guess in the end, it's mainly her and Shuichi... The stupid thing is... I am jealous of both of them... jealousy was why I was being stubborn. Her desire to save everyone... I was jealous of it. And it was my temper that caused her to be captured after her ability was exposed..."
'So that's why you were avoiding them,' I thought.
Kaito's mood and expressions weren't very bad to say the least. Kaito didn't have bad intentions when he was ignoring Shuichi and (y/n). From what I heard him explain. About how everyone was relying on both (y/n) and Shuichi. Kaito was envious of both of them because of his desire for wanting to save everyone. Kaito wanted to be the person who saved everyone from this game.
In my opinion, it was jealousy stemmed from good intentions, but there was something Kaito didn't seem to notice. He was so caught up in trying to save everyone, that he didn't even notice the people who already looked up to him. Kaito fought with his emotions of belief to save people. People were inspired by him. That's what he needed to realize. I knew he already learned that he couldn't save everyone from Monokuma alone. Just like my realization that I wouldn't be able to save (y/n) on my own.
"Sorry for ranting about that, man," Kaito told me, "I guess I just keep things bottled up more than I thought."
Kaito let out a nervous laugh after saying those words. There was nothing wrong with venting emotions. I remembered that how I got closer to (y/n) was allowing her to vent her emotions out to me, and in turn... so did I. Venting emotions allowed us to get rid of some of our pent up emotions. It was normal to vent.
"Do you feel more confident after venting that to me?" I asked Kaito, "because venting your emotions is perfectly fine. In ways, I hear it takes a lot of strength to show emotions. Bottling up emotions is actually pretty unhealthy."
I chuckled nervously after replying to Kaito with these words. I knew bottling up emotions was an unhealthy habit. I was forced into a situation where I felt I needed to keep my emotions bottled. There was only one or two times that I even snapped at someone. There were things everyone was bottling up was my point. Everyone including me. We all had inner demons and emotions to deal with, but venting them to those we care about makes them a lot easier to deal with.
"I kinda do feel better, actually..." Kaito told me, "so what is the plan for saving (y/n). I know you said it wasn't a set plan more or less actions to create a more solid plan. You need to tell me, so I can help!"
"Well Maki decided to play the observational role," I explained in responses, "Maki is supposed to observe outside of the Exisal Hanger to see what schedule Kokichi uses. We will have a better chance at planning something if we read his every move. Miu is planning on perfecting a device that will interfere with the cameras here. Aside from that, we need strategic planning to fool Kokichi's eye in my opinion."
"I can't argue with you there..." Kaito muttered in response, "I can't just charge in there because Kokichi will expect that from me. I mean look where my rage got me. Even me, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars makes mistakes. So I'll have to keep my head down as much as it pisses me off to do so."
"Truth is we do need to fool Kokichi, however that'll be hard considering he can spot lies easily," I replied, "we have to fall in a somewhat of a line in between the truth or a lie. I mean that's just my opinion, and I apologize if I'm not explaining it correctly."
I chuckled nervously. For some reason, I felt like the way to fool Kokichi would be to go in between the truth and lies. I found myself thinking on how we could possibly fool Kokichi. It would be hard to do something like that and I knew it. In order to pull this off we all had to think. We had to be able to discuss ideas without Kokichi hearing. We had to act normal until Miu could finish the device for scattering wavelengths. That's all we could do.
"I honestly don't know how we can fool Kokichi," Kaito stated, bringing me out of my thoughts, "I'm not sure about all the stuff you just tried to explain, but the way he predicted my Electrohammer would turn off freaked the shit outta me... he is too smart... anyway, I need some time for myself. If I'm gonna help you guys save (y/n), I need to make sure I'm feeling one hundred percent! Let me know when you are ready for all of us to meet."
I was slightly confused. Kaito was hesitant on whether or not we could fool Kokichi. When he explained his feelings on when all of our Electrohammers powered down, one by one after Kokichi said something about it... it was kinda freaky. It was after that Kaito said Kokichi was too smart. After that point, Kaito mentioned that he needed time for himself. He must've used a lot of his energy talking to me. Kaito never told me what was going on, but I knew he wasn't feeling good.
"Alright, Kaito," I told him, "you feel better, alright? If you need food, I'll have Kirumi come by later to drop off some food for you, so don't worry."
"Thanks, bud!" Kaito exclaimed with a smile, "maybe I should make you one of my sidekicks!"
"Sorry, but I'll have to decline for now," I told him in response as I turned myself around to go back down the stairs.
Before beginning my descend, I turned my head back around to look at Kaito. I made sure to stare him in the eyes as he smiled at me as I left, trying to be polite and see me off at least. I still had one thing I was going to say to him.
"After we save (y/n), I'll see if I want to join," I told him.
After telling him that, I walked down the stairs, turning my gaze right back in front of me I walked back down the stairs and turned directly to my dorm room door. I entered without a second thought. I had so much to think about, including a plan to save (y/n). I knew however that there wouldn't be much of a point on thinking about it here in my dorm. After all there was a security camera here, when we'd assume that the rooms would have no surveillance. It was always like this however, and if there was any chance Kokichi could check the data in any way... he'd know I'm planning something.
Your POV:
I struggled to move my arms as Kokichi left the room, the sensation of cold sharp metal digging into my wrists. I could barely recall what happened when Kokichi did this to me. The only things I was able to make out during then was Kokichi's taunting voice and the feeling of being pushed down.
The handcuffs dug into my skin slightly making it painful for me to move my arms around. It also felt like there were sharp areas on the handcuffs. From what I was able to remember, Kokichi mocked me about these being the handcuffs used on Ryoma.
I was upset about what I just heard from him in the process of what seemed like mere minutes. Everything took longer than that though but I wasn't even sure what time it was anymore. I didn't think I was awake during the morning announcement, so I was in the unknown about what time it was.
My face was pressed against the floor. I didn't want to believe that I was the only motive Kokichi would have for making an attempt at Rantaro's life. I was shocked and upset. I was filled with hopelessness due to that, but a part of me was telling me not to give in to it.
I had to believe in something. I needed to, but it obviously couldn't be myself right now. I wanted to put faith into the others and hope that they would do something to help. I couldn't put all of my hope into that though. I had no idea what the others would be planning, or even if Rantaro was going to help.
Right now, I felt like it was my fault that Rantaro almost died in the beginning, but how would I have known that Kokichi would've tried to plan it. Was it really my fault this happened. I had no idea anymore. It felt like I was at some sort of loss. I was trying to process somethings that really upset me. But I had no idea if Kokichi was lying or not.
Everything was so confusing. My heart hammered against my chest as I was left alone to register everything. Left alone to let my will break. Left alone to face an utter depression worse than what I felt right now.
Through the tears in my eyes and the feeling of the cold tile floor on my face. Despite the muffled hearing I was facing, only able to hear my heartbeat, I could make out the sound of what I could assume to be footsteps. I jumped slightly hearing the footsteps.
'Kokichi just left not too long ago!' I thought.
I felt myself stir into a panic. I didn't know where those noises were coming from, but it didn't sound like it came from the Exisal Hanger. It sounded like something coming from the outside.
I didn't know who it was. I didn't know if Kokichi was prancing around the outside of the hanger to mock me. My breath became labored as I started to hyperventilate. I couldn't show him any more weakness than I already have. I couldn't let him get what he wanted for me.
Through the swirling of my thoughts, I heard the sound of a quite knock coming from behind me. In the best way I could, I used my legs to try and get myself sitting upright. It took me a few tries, falling into the process of each try, but I managed to get myself up right eventually.
I looked to the direction of the sound, and I noticed the window that was stationed at the back of the bathroom. That was the window I noticed when I first investigated the outside of the hanger, and even in the bathroom. I couldn't see anything from the position I was in, so there was only one thing I could do.
'Who is it that's over there...?' I thought, 'I can't tell if it's Kokichi or not... I know he might be setting a trap for me but...'
I scooted myself closer to the window. I had no idea if it was Kokichi there, but if there was a chance that it was someone trying to see if I was doing okay... who was I kidding. There was no way it could be anyone aside from Kokichi. Despite that... I scooted close enough to the window, and I sent a knock through the wall of the window.
I waited a few moments after that. My heart continued to throb in my chest, beating as of my life was on the line at this very moment. My body was shaking as I waited for the impending mockery that was her to come.
"Hey, I saw Kokichi leave not to long ago," I heard through the wall, "are you okay?"
The voice was feminine and soft. I knew who's voice that was as she spoke. It was Maki. I could barely contain the joy I felt to hear her voice. I could see my eyes were growing muddled with incoming tears at hearing her voice. It was like an overflow of relief spread across my entire being in that one moment.
"M-Maki!?" I exclaimed, "w-what are you doing here!?"
I couldn't see Maki from where I was stationed, however that changed when I witnessed Maki peeking her head in through the window. It took her a moment to see me, but once she did. She saw me sitting on the floor with handcuffs around my wrists, as well as my puffy red eyes. As soon as she saw me, I saw her eyes showing anger. I didn't think it was at me though. Her rage was directed mostly to Kokichi.
"What did that bastard do to you?" Maki asked.
"It's a long story..." I muttered in response, "I really don't want to talk about it..."
Maki nodded in response to my words as if she understood what they meant by them. It was too much to tell in a short time frame because even I didn't even know when Kokichi would come back. We had a limited timeframe to be able to talk.
"Is everyone safe?" I asked, "did Kokichi do anything to you guys?"
"Everyone is safe," Maki told me, "you're still worrying about everyone even though you're the one who was taken hostage?"
"I at least wanted to know that everyone would be safe after this..." I muttered.
"Does that include Rantaro?" Maki asked, "I know we don't have a lot of time, but I'm just curious."
As soon as Maki brought Rantaro up, I looked down nervously. Of course I wanted Rantaro to be safe. Despite all that's happened... I still cared about him... there was nothing I could do to change that. I wanted to see his smile again even if I knew that I was a terrible person for because of the fact that I felt I was using Rantaro to make me feel better about myself. I knew that he was avoiding me, and that might be the reason why he was avoiding me. As much as I was upset, I still cared about him. I still wanted to repair our relationship somehow.
"Of course that includes Rantaro," I muttered, "a lot has happened I know. I know he was avoiding me, but there had to be a reason why... I can't exactly blame him... I still want to repair my relationship with him."
"What about your arm though?" Maki asked bluntly, "it was one of the things that bastard was flaunting after he took you hostage."
"My arm..." I muttered in response.
I knew what she was referring to, but I didn't want to admit it. I didn't know what Kokichi told them aside from the fact that he used Miu to expose me for my ability. My mind glazed over his mocking though, but he never mentioned my arm.
"That's right," Maki replied, "while you were passed out and upside down, he lifted your sleeve for us to see those bandages. The bastard told us that a conversation took place between the two of you before this happened..."
I had the same expression on my face as Maki explained that. I've been told so many things that have shocked me, I felt like I couldn't be so surprised anymore. It would be obvious that Kokichi would know about that. He was the mastermind and I didn't even use the device I held during that conversation. Kokichi told everyone, and that would mean...
"So he did know about that..." I muttered, "I'm such a terrible person, aren't I...?"
"What are you talking about?" Maki asked, "I don't think you're the one to blame in all of this..."
"There has to be a reason why he avoided me..." I muttered, "he probably thought that I was using him to make me feel good about myself or something... I mean if I'm being honest... I felt abandoned again and putting all of the love for myself into one person caused this to happen. I used Rantaro to feel good about myself."
As I was venting all of this, my face contorted back onto the verge of tears. My emotions were all over the place. Fear of Kokichi and his role... happiness that someone wanted to reach out to me in some way. Sadness and Guilt from Kokichi's confession.
Maki however was silent in response to my words. It was like she couldn't exactly figure out how to react to what I just said. She let out a small sigh as if she was slightly annoyed by my venting.
"I haven't heard you talk like that since after the first trial," Maki explained, "it makes sense that you would feel that way since you grew up with mostly everyone disliking you for some reason, and eventually the friend you trusted betrayed your trust. It would make sense that you feel like Rantaro avoided you because of a response to your trauma. While I believe that mental state is bade for a relationship despite not being in one... Rantaro didn't avoid you because of anything you did."
My face contorted into a look of confusion after I processed what Maki had said. She was telling me how she understood my mannerisms bringing up how I felt in the beginning. I knew that was true, but that wasn't what I was focusing on.
I was focused on the fact that she somehow knew that wasn't why he was avoiding me. How would she know that? I had no idea what happened with Rantaro, but I had no idea why she knew.
"How would you know that?" I asked.
"Simple," Maki replied, "he told me. As for why, I'm going to let him tell you when he gets the chance. He will tell you once we get you out of here."
Maki obviously was trying to keep the conversation short. Rantaro told her something... his reasoning. I didn't know why she told me, but it was obvious that it would be better if he told me. She told me he would once they got me out of here. That meant one thing. They were planning on a way to get me out of here.
I know that this chapter is probably not that good, but I thought it would be a good idea to have Maki interact with Reader while the mastermind is gone. As I said before, there are many different POV's. It's just how it is in this segment.
Part of me had no idea what to write and I literally spent an hour staring at my phone contemplating what to write, all while doing art and making a bunny fondant cake in class because it's getting closer to Easter.
This author's note is short because I don't have much to say today. All I know is that I'm tired and ready to sleep XD. I hope you all enjoyed the update! I hope your weekends are amazing, and please take care of yourself! Ciao for now- yuki_no_fuyu
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