Chapter 6 | Understand

"Eros..." I trailed off his godly name.

"Yeah, hi. May itatanong lang sana ako," he said with all smiles.

With shaking lips, "Sure, ano?" I asked.

Minsan lang 'to. Minsan niya lang ako kausapin.

"Carthage is not in the mood today. Lagi kayong sabay pumasok, 'di ba? Kaso hindi kita nakita kanina sa sasakyan ninyo. Pero baka alam mo lang ang reason kung bakit siya wala sa mood?" tanong ni Eros sa tonong nahihiya.

"Ah, uh..." anong sasabihin ko? "Hindi ko alam, e."

Shocks! Baka umalis na siya?

"Ganoon ba—"

"Mia!"

Boom. Good bye luck.

"Oh? Lukan? Close kayo nito ni Mia?" may gulat at biro sa tono ni Eros.

"Shut up. Ako lang ang tatawag sa kanya sa second name niya," banta ni Lukan sa isang seryosong tono.

What was Lukan talking about?

"What the? May namamagitan ba sa inyo?" Eros asked with humor.

"Wala!" agad kong sagot.

Never! As in, never!

"Oh, buti naman. Sasaktan ka lang nitong kapatid ko," Eros said playfully.

Wait, ano raw? Kapatid?

"Sige na, aalis na ako. Thanks, Thera."

Naka-iinis naman! Hindi na Mia ang tawag sa akin.

I problematically turned around to see the boy who just said immature words toward my crush. His expression wasn't in a good mood as well, as if seeing us together ruined his day.

"So, bakit ka naman bigla-biglang dumadating? Langaw ka ba, ha?" hindi ko na napigilan ang aking sarili.

That was my luck and it just faded.

"Tapos ngayon, hindi ka magsasalita?" mas nakas-stress pa siya sa Chemistry, as in!

His sudden silence signaled me he wasn't playing around. With his chilling pair of eyes directly attacking mine, I sensed him unhappy of something. I uncomfortably stood in front of him, maybe it was his stiff body that made our small interaction awkward.

"Mamaya na tayo mag-usap," he said and turned away.

"At bakit?" pasigaw kong tanong.

"Patapos na ang break time," he simply answered.

I took a deep breath and turned away from him. I was about to walk away when I heard him say something else.

"And you made me mad."

What happened bothered me. Thinking about it wasn't necessary, I should not even think about it during our class. Una, ginalit ko kuno si Lukan. Pangalawa, magkapatid sila ni Eros? How? Magka-iba sila ng surname at kailanman ay hindi naging nagkasingtunog iyon.

I tried to busy myself on the lessons instead on Lukan.

"Hey... you mad at me?" si Trojan na ngayon lamang ako muling kinibo.

Our classmates individually left the room, sign that the whole class had ended. I didn't rush going out of the room and instead, I took time arranging my things inside my bag.

"Medyo," I answered shortly.

"I'm sorry," Trojan softly told me.

I quickly looked up to my cousin who just suddenly apologized.

"Okay lang, Trojan. At least alam ko na ang pananaw ninyo," I said to him in a casual manner.

"Hindi sa ganoon, Thera—"

"I get it, alright? Kilala mo ako, when I say it's okay then it is okay. Okay?" I persuaded him to believe me.

"No, hindi ka okay, e. I offended you earlier. I'm sorry," hindi niya ako tinigilan.

I stopped putting my books inside my bag and stared at Trojan for a few moments. He sat above a desk behind me and his feet supported his weight. His expressive eyes were hopeful I'd accept his apology.

He awkwardly showed me his smiled, his full white teeth shined and made me soft. I couldn't be mad at him even on times he'd annoy me to the max.

"Okay na nga, 'di ba? Ang kulit!" I said and squeezed his cheeks.

"Ikaw dapat ang ginaganyan!" at ginantihan niya rin ako ng pisil sa pisngi.

Kahit makasalanan 'tong pinsan ko, mahal ko pa rin siya.

We both laughed as we exited the room. Ang ilang mga babaeng may gusto kay Trojan ay masama ang tingin sa akin. Sanay na ako sa mga tingin nila at ano bang magagawa ng mga titig? Magpinsan kami at kung pinagselosan nila ako ay may sebo ang kanilang utak.

Saka ko lang naalala!

"Ay, Trojan, ma-una ka na sa gate. Pakisabi rin kay manong na huwag na akong hintayin."

Alam kong pipilitin ako ni Lukan na sumabay sa kanya.

"At bakit? May dini-date ka na?" kunwari ay galit siya.

"Loko! Mukha bang mayro'n, ha? Naka-ilan ka ng insulto, Trojan," then I pouted.

"Hindi mo 'ko makukuha sa mga pa-cute mo. Sige, sasabihin ko pero huwag kang papagabi, ha? I will know. Bye!" he rushed as if he saw something.

"Sometimes, I really wished I was Trojan."

My shoulders seemed to jump hearing someone talk behind me. I wasn't sociable to anyone and that explained why I got nervous of conversations or people everytime.

"Nakagugulat ka!" I exclaimed.

"Sa gwapo kong 'to?" then he flashed his bad boy smile.

"You heard my cousin, bawal akong magpagabi. So, ano na?" pangunguna ko.

"I didn't hear your cousin," he said instead of directly answering me.

Ang layo ng sagot. Mali, hindi niya nga ako sinagot. Mga moves nito ni Lukan, 'no? Kung ano-ano ang mga sinasabi para mapahaba ang usapan. Bakit hindi ko 'to ginawa kanina kay Eros?

"Yeah, whatever. Ano na nga?" tanong ko muli.

"Hmm... ano-anong araw mo ba gustong mag-gym? At least four days," he asked.

"Four days? Shocks, busy ako sa academics. Tapos panghapon pa ako, paano ako makaka-gym?" I asked, frustration was evident.

"E 'di sa umaga. Mula five AM until nine AM, bali five hours," he suggested.

"Sige. Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday na lang," I agreed.

"Bawal ka tuwing Linggo, 'di ba?" he told me with a questionable tone.

Wait... oh. Oo nga, bawal ako tuwing Linggo.

"Bakit mo alam?" I asked back.

He grinned.

"I told you, I like—"

"Other reason, please!" hiling ko.

I knew what he was going to say when he continued.

"Cause I stalk you? Yeah, parang gano'n," he lazily drawled.

I stared deadly on him. Hindi naman siya natakot at mas lalo lamang ngumisi.

"Ang creepy mo," komento ko.

"Nah, I'm just awesome," he winked at me.

"Hindi na Linggo. Wednesday na lang," I said.

"Alright," he answered and shrugged.

"By the way, may tanong ako," I opened another topic.

I don't know if I was in the right position to ask this question but I didn't want myself to carry the curiosity.

"Is this about my relationship with your crush?"

Did he expect me to ask?

"Oo, magkapatid kami... sa ama. Aksidente akong nabuo. Ginagamit ko ngayon ang apelyido ng nanay ko," simple niyang paliwanag sa akin.

So, anak siya sa labas?

"Saan ka tumitira, kung ganoon?" I asked.

"Somewhere down the road," kanta niya.

Tinampal ko ang kanyang braso na kanyang kinatawa naman.

"Sinusuportahan ba ng tatay mo ang mga pangangailangan mo financially?"

I knew my question was a bit below the belt but my mouth couldn't hold it.

"He wants to... pero ayaw ko. Kaya ko naman," mayabang niyang tugon.

"Signal number twelve," bulong ko sa hangin.

He laughed again. May iilan na tuloy na tumingin sa aming gawi dahil sa kanya.

"Sige na. Tara na sa kotse mo," yaya ko.

We had nothing to talk about already and I needed to go home early. Nauna pa akong naglakad sa kanya.

I sensed him uninformed, "Saan?" he asked.

"Sa kotse mo? Ihahatid mo ako, alam ko. Huwag ka ng-"

"I didn't... expect. Shit..." he panicked.

Ano raw? Hindi niya expect na sasabay ako? Ano? Assuming ako, ganon? Akala ko ay ihahatid niya ako, gano'n?

"Uh, okay lang naman siguro kahit hindi mo expect. Pwede mo pa rin akong ihatid—"

"No, you hate motorcycles," he cut my words.

Yes, I hated riding motorcycles pero anong connect?

"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled of his statement.

"I told you, my father does not support my financial needs. Wala akong sasakyan, Mia. I use motorcycle as my private vehicle," he explained.

What?

"E, 'yong kotse kagabi—"

"Tinawagan ko lang ang bodyguard ko kuno na ihatid ako dito muli sa school dahil nandito ang motor ko," sabi niya, kalmado na ngayon.

So, assuming ako nga ako? Stupid, Mia!

"Fine. I'll call our driver. You may go now," I said and calmed myself as if what happened wasn't a big deal.

Natawagan ko na si manong, mabuti na lang at kauuwi pa lang nila. Pabalik na raw siya para sunduin ako.

Lumingon ako at halos matumba sa gulat nang nandito pa pala si Lukan.

"Nakagugulat ka talaga!" deklara ko.

"I'm staying with you," he said.

Imbis na sagutin ay wala akong nasabi.

He pulled me toward the waiting shed. Wala ng mga tao rito ngayon at halos ubos na rin ang mga estudyante. Mga ilaw sa harap ng school at mga lamppost na lamang ang liwanag ng lugar. Wala na rin ang araw na kanina'y palubog pa lamang.

Umupo kami at hinayaan ko ang sariling matulala sa kalsada.

"Uh, wala ka bang hahapitin?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"I'm from the lowest section. You think the teachers will sell their time and effort to us?" pangbabara niya.

"Ah, so binabara mo na ako ngayon?" I asked.

Ngumisi naman siya, hindi apektado ng aking tanong.

"Sinasaktan mo nga ako, e," ayan na naman siya sa drama niya.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo," napa-iling na lamang ako.

"Ay, may tanong pala ako."

"Nakakarami ka na, ha. Konti na lang, mag-a-assume na akong ako ang gusto mo at hindi iyong model ng Alaska kong half brother," he mocked.

I laughed at what he said. Eros had a white skin that was the opposite of Lukan's color. I noticed Lukan was a bit tanned. They both had fine shape of bodies and tall heights.

Pinanood niya akong tumawa nang malakas kaya pinilit kong tumigil.

"Seriously? Model ng Alaska? Ikaw, model ka ng ano?" hamon ko.

"Titan gel," agad niyang sagot, proud pa.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

Nasampal ko ang kanyang labi dahil sa kanyang sinabi. Tumawa naman siya. As in, 'yong tawang tawa. Abot na yata hanggang loob ng school!

"Huwag ka ngang magsabi ng mga ganyan tuwing kasama mo ako!" I shouted.

"Kilabutan ka naman, Lukan! Goodness!" I stressfully said.

"Okay, okay! Kumalma ka. Sinubukan ko lang," he said to me.

"Anong sinubukan?" tanong ko.

"Sinubukan ko lang kung anong magiging reaksyon mo. You see, lagi ko kayong nakikita ni Trojan na nagbibiruan. Kahit pinsan mo 'yon, nakakapangselos pa rin... kaya sinubukan ko ngayon."

Ano raw ulit? Parang na-bobo ako.

Selos? Nagseselos siya?

"Anyway, ano 'yong itatanong mo?"

Now, he became attentive.

"A-Ah—ano..."

What the hell, Mia?

"Ano? Hindi ka maka-move on sa Titan—"

Tinakpan ko agad ang kanyang bunganga. Tinakpan ko na! Jusko! Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong palapulsuhan at marahang ibinaba ang aking mga kamay upang makatawa siya ng malakas.

"Ito na nga tanong ko!" I declared.

Pinilit niyang magseryoso muli.

"Anong nagustuhan mo kay ate?" I asked.

Mukha siyang naguluhan.

"Pardon?"

"Ah, nasabi kasi ni ate sa akin na nanligaw ka raw sa kanya noon," I explained politely.

"Ah, grade eight pa kami no'n," he tried to apply humor in it but he didn't succeed.

"I see. Anong nagustuhan mo kay ate?" tanong ko muli.

He shrugged. "Don't know," he answered.

I made this horrified expression, what I received as an answer angered me.

"Ano ba 'yan? Bakit hindi mo alam? Kaya ka binasted ng kapatid ko, e," sabi ko sa kanya.

Akala ko ay ngingisi o tatawa siya dahil doon but he was still serious.

"Ayos lang 'yon. Matagal na 'yon," he simply said.

"At saka nakilala kita ng lubusan. You seriously don't need to think about it," he told me.

"Also, we were young and dumb. Matagal na 'yon, hindi na kailangang balikan," he added.

"Bakit ako nasali?" tanong ko.

"Nand'yan na ang sundo mo," deklara niya at naunang tumayo.

What the? Talagang hindi niya sasagutin!

"Ano munang rason?" I asked.

"You know the reason, Mia," he said with his husky voice.

"Alam ko? Ano? Hindi ko alam!" depensa ko.

"Alam mo," pilit niya.

"You are frustrating me," sabi ko, nawawalan na ng pasensya.

"Alam kong nasabi ko na sa 'yo ang rasong iyon ng maraming beses. Hindi mo iyon ipapa-ulit sa akin dahil alam kong laos na iyon sa 'yo," natauhan ako sa kaseryosuhan niya.

"Paulit-ulit... nalaos na. Siguro, alam mo na," huli niyang sinabi bago ako tinalikuran at pumunta na sa kanyang motor.

Pumasok ako nang lutang sa aming sasakyan. I know what he was talking about but I refused to face it.

I knew what he meant.

I like you.

I heard it several times but I still couldn't afford to understand.