The rest of the night felt strange, as if I was disconnected from the world, yet at the same time, had my senses sharpened to an unbearable degree. Lightheadedness threatened to overtake me, and spots swam in my vision, slowly morphing into shapes that I remembered too well.

Did you have any other choice? I buried that rifle deep in my backpack before trying to go to sleep, yet it seemed to call to me, mocking me for what I did. But I didn't have any other choice... or did I? He would've killed me or taken me prisoner had I not shot him, but if I shot him, even in the leg... would that have been any better fate? It was either me or him, but we're all selfish, aren't we?

Too selfish.

I grimaced and looked beside me, where Gus appeared to be asleep, making faint sounds similar to that of a grunting pig. Turning back and looking at the corner where the backpack was kept, I frowned. The rifle continued to laugh at me, and I could almost hear it in my mind, cackling. One or two months ago, the idea of shooting somebody would've never crossed my mind. But now... 

Continuing to frown, I took another look at Gus, almost glaring at him. You put me into this predicament. But the more I thought of it, the more painful it was to admit the truth that I roped myself into such circumstances, and Chet along with me. Selfish me. Every action I seemed to make led to more and more consequences, until there would be a point where I would simply bring everybody to-

Looking past Gus, I suddenly blinked. Chet?

Taking a closer look, I swallowed. Chet wasn't there.

Where did you go this time?

Sighing, I hesitantly peeked outside the tent flap, only to see Chet wandering around the campgrounds with an expression of determination and anxiety. Making sure not to wake up Gus, I walked over and joined him.

Gradually slowing down his pace and eventually sitting down on the gnarled ground, Chet sighed and looked at me strangely. "I think we both know what we want."

Also sitting down, I raised an eyebrow. I had a vague idea, but it was too early to jump to conclusions.

Seeing my hesitation, Chet frowned and continued, "You also want to get out of here, don't you?"

For the first time in a while, I smiled. "You read my mind, Chet."

Chet smiled back. At almost unnerved me, sometimes, how he managed to go from one mood to another. Frowning to smiling. Outrage to understanding. Uncaring to compassionate. All of that, and all in the blink of an eye. It didn't feel... right. Yet that would only be a thing I would joke with Chet later.

"Well, I was thinking - if there's nothing else to present here, we might as well escape. Go to the nearest refuge." Chet gave an empty laugh. "You know, it's hardly been a week. Remember the time when you said that joining these nuts was a good idea?"

I nodded, plastering a fake smile of amusement, even though deep down inside, I felt as if Chet were mocking me. He wasn't, I knew. It was an unintentional remark, meant to be a jest, yet it hit too deep. "It's almost unbelievable, how fast time goes. You blink, and a hundred-" Where had that number come from? "-days go by. So much can change in a week - look how the world got trashed with acid rain."

Faltering for a moment, I shoved memories to the back of my head and continued. "But yeah, if I have to use the rifle again to... shoot... somebody again, I'm gonna lose my sanity." I can already feel my sanity slipping. Too many people are dying. I've seen Adriana die, my mother die, my father, too many, too many... "So, you got a plan or something? There's no point in stalling time for escaping."

A strange glint of amusement shone in Chet's eyes, but it disappeared as fast as it came. "About that... I have a plan, but it's probably not gonna work right away."

I shrugged. "I didn't mean it literally either."

Standing up, Chet began to walk around again, a habit he had which I attributed to being deep in thought. "It'll be risky, but it's the best one that I can work out with the best outcome. That is, if everything goes well. Out of all the plans I calculated, this one is the most unstable but also the most rewarding."

"You sound like a less hotheaded version of Jezza," I remarked, grinning. It was a wonder, how Chet - like many other friends, could relieve me in even the worst of times. "So... you were saying?"

Giving a quick laugh, (something told me that my joke hit the geeky side of him), Chet continued, "We need to wait until what's-his-name finds another refuge. Then we escape, warn the refuge about the oncoming Outcast raid, and then take shelter with the refuge while at the same time, sabotage the rogues. If everything goes well, we'll be hailed heroes for avoiding a disaster, and we'll get all the resources we need, and at the same time, escape with flair."

"Flair," I muttered, looking at Chet with a sudden seriousness. His plan was all sound, except... I didn't want to send the rogues into a trap either. As much as I hated the rogues - though mainly Gus - for forcing me into the previous raid, it couldn't be entirely blamed on him either. And what had Gus said before about the rogue Outcasts being caught? They were strapped into the Simulation and experiments were taken on them... I shuddered. It was inhumane, all of it. And I couldn't condemn so many people to such a terrible fate.

"Thomas," Chet suddenly said, "Are you okay?"

Standing up too, I swallowed and asked, "Are you sure about the last part?"

"What? About sabotaging the rogues?"

I nodded. "It just feels a bit... overkill."

Chet shrugged. "Hey, it doesn't harm us anyway. Besides, if we let the rogues go, they're just gonna do the same thing to other refuges. We're avoiding further panic. See it as... terminating a threat."

As much as I hated to admit it, Chet spoke the truth. What to do? Do I let Gus go, and inflict further pain... or end it here by my hand, only to cause suffering, too?

Should I just improvise and wait for when the moment comes?

I squeezed my eyes shut. No, that didn't work last time, and it won't work now. I need to think this through, myself. Chet, what about Chet...?

"It sounds good," I manage to say. "I'm not exactly on-board with the Gus thing, but otherwise, it sounds good."

Chet smiles, almost relieved. "Then it's settled - the next refuge will probably pop up in a few days. Get some rest and don't worry too much until then. The only other thing that we might need to iron out is how to convince the refuge Heads, because if they're suspicious and don't let us in, and then we end up getting caught in cross-fire between the rogues and the refuge..." Chet swallowed. "Well, we'll be back to square one. No, make that square zero. At least we had a refuge - or an abandoned one - at the start."

Don't worry too much until then. Walking over to the tent with Chet, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop worrying. Chet might've seen it as a survival of the fittest situation, but I cared. Does anybody else care, anymore? It's like the world is turning into a battlefield now. Everybody I meet...

"This place gets ever stranger, doesn't it?" Chet remarked. "Just think about how we've gone from ordinary teenagers training to be Groundbreakers to... well, many different things." Chet pursed his lips. "Think about that for a while."

And as we slipped into the tent, Gus' pig-imitation still going on, I thought about it for the rest of the night, unable to get any sleep.