I never wanted to say something like this because I felt that It will make me appear a desperate freak, but please do share your thoughts, whatever, even if it's a criticism or other stuff because it really discourage me as a writer for not getting enough response even if they are voting for the Shots. I know I'm not that much social here but believe me this year schedule of mine is so shit that I thought of giving a break from writing but my heart always betray my mind *sigh* Even if I'm keeping every story of mine on hold, these shots are the only hope for me in continuing writing now. So I hope you all will encourage me enough.

Nonetheless, Happy Reading ❤️

**

Shivaay stumbling feet had already taken him to his room and the sight in front of him made his heart clench in his chest in the cruelest manner as there she laid on his bed, clutching onto the pillow which had successfully muffled her cries into a breathless gasp. He needs to talk to her, to make her understand that whatever she is thinking is ridiculous and stupid and unwanted and shit - Utter Shit!

Walking up to her, he sat beside her trembling form and swayed his palm over her jet black hair while she had mercilessly withdrawn his hands away from her as if his touch was disgusting her. He was hurt but he knew she was more than hurt to be mended at this time.

"Annika, Love" he whispered softly, once again trying to stroke her hair but again she just jerked his hand away, now screaming from inside the pillow to leave her alone and not to show his face to her ever again. She doesn't know but today was the last string of her patience and stubbornness. The thoughts which haunted her now and then, now seem to reside her mind permanently - he doesn't want her as his wife just because he doubts her to become just like her mother.

Annika, Maybe you are wrong, Maybe he might have some other reason.

Her heart suggested to her, but what could she do? She was forced to believe her mind because if he had some other reason, why not he bloody tell her about it? Why he is keeping that from her when he knew she was concerning to it as well. She knew today his behavior was because of something else, but from the past few days, the reason which he is hiding from her is freaking her out, she broke every second inside this house, where, even if they are married, they live like a stranger.

He doesn't know how she is going through all this, all this while, because if he would have known that every inch of her body ached for his care, for his love, he would never let her be alone because he wanted the same - last night was the prove, it was the freaking eye-opener for her as well for him. So why this hesitation? Why the hell is there still a barrier which shattered both of them destructively?

"Annika" his voice was hoarse, he was begging her to look at him and to stop crying, her sobs act as a sword which is piercing his heart continuously without any stop. Tears now effortlessly slide down his cheeks as he sobbed.

Her not talking to him is terribly devastating. He hated silence, he always had but the silence from her side is haunting. She needs to talk to him, to scream at him and tell him that he is being a jerk all this while with her. To let him know he had someone as his companion in his always silent world.

"Annika, y-you need to listen to me, what-whate-ever you are thinking is not true, I-I can never think of you being like that ever, please, just for me- for me - look up and speak to me pl-please" his voice broke in between his sobs as he sat there crying without even bothering what he was doing, or ponder over the thought that this was against his rule - to cry in front of anyone and to let anyone know about his vulnerability.

With each word, something broke inside her, sitting up straight in alarm - her face, wet and red due to constant crying - she looked at him. He was crying, he was literally crying like a man who was at the verge of losing his everything and was hoping against hope that he didn't lose anyone.

She was scared to see him like this, he wasn't like this, she had seen him cry only because of his sister but the way he was crying today - was different. He seemed helpless.

He was crying for something he knew he could never get, most prominently he himself will not let him have that very thing.

"Shiv —" she half-whispered his name and took his face into her palms. The moment his eyes met hers, she was engulfed in his arms - her hands instantly flew to his back as she rubbed the length of his spine in order to calm him down. Her own sob had subdued but the tears still cripple down her cheeks silently seeing him in pain. She fingered his hair as he cried in her arms, the hold over her waist tightens enough to hurt her - she didn't care enough. Her clothes soaking in his tears - she didn't care as well. He was in pain - she cared, she undoubtedly cares enough to take away all his pain if she could.

She didn't know when she was on his lap, pestering him to her further.

He sniffed as he felt her warmth engulf him yet again, the pain was subsiding again.

"You know An-Annika, Y-you know, I can ne-never think something like that about you. You have to be one of the purest soul I have ever met, the enchanting, the selfless" he murmured in her skin, she only hummed continuously making him know that she is listening, "please, while thinking about all that ridiculous thing, don't stop talking to me, just come and scream and shout and be mad at me, question me, ask for a damn answer but don't stop talking to me like this ever" he had come out of the hug and was looking at her with a look she couldn't comprehend at once.

His enchanting eyes had turned the softest shade of blue, brown flecks shone in the dim light, while tears continue to pour out of them. "You are the only one with whom I can be myself, Please don't make me lose myself again" and she knew, what it was, it was fear, fear of losing himself yet again in those darkest pits of his past from where he could only escape once she was with him.

She shook her head desperately, trying her best to let him know that she will never leave him, she will be there to save him from his own demons and fight for him, for her Shivaay.

"I won't, I will never" she whispered assuringly as she pressed her lips over his forehead gently, "I promise"

Breaking apart, she looked at him while his were already on her, she smiled weakly and with her thumb, rubbed off his tears while he just stared at her, for the second time, she was this close to him, so close that he wanted to be selfish once in his life and just stop living like the Shivaay Singh Oberoi and be Just Shivaay, be just him and live his life the way he wanted it to if his parents haven't done that heinous act because with Shivaay Singh Oberoi come - truckloads - of insecurities, nightmares which could only be solved by him and his practical mind and not his soft heart which he, unfortunately, has for her.

He wants to be selfish, let the consequences be damn!

She gulped as she saw his eyes darkening as it moved from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes. She knew this sexual tension between them was getting unbearable each passing day and now - her on his lap, and their body this close that not even air could pass through them - she knew it was worst. Uneasy from his intense gaze, she tried to come out off his lap but it seems he was in no mood to let her go, the grip got painfully tighter - as it was initially - blocking her for moving away.

Thinking of their proximity, adrenaline rushes the length of her ears and cheeks as she found herself looking down, away from his eyes "Annika?" He whispered huskily against her lips and she felt like a puddle, ready to melt in the arms of her husband, "Lookup"

She hesitated but soon, looked up and before she knew he had claimed her lips in a kiss, it was gentle and soft. It was her first so she was too stunted to reciprocate but before she broke apart, she found herself kissing him back with the same passion he had for her.

He nibbled over her lower lips, asking her to open her mouth and let him in, and so she wasn't ready for the bite he just landed over her lower lips and involuntarily moaned in pain but stilled the next moment as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth while the bitter taste of the scotch which he had consumed a few moments ago set her body on fire.

He smirked in between the kiss and continue to do assault with his tongue to her, her hands got lost in his dark hair as she wrapped her legs across his waist, pulling him as much closer as she could while their tongue played with each other for dominance.

She was a quick learner, he got to know about it now, as the way she kissed him back made him think that they had done this a thousand times and it was just so normal for them.

As time passed, they found themselves kissing each other impatiently ready to knock the breath out of each other lungs, if possible. He bends down along with her as her back hits the mattress while the feel of his body over her made her feel wanted, and desired. Their hands were now started to move all over their bodies on their own accord but stopped soon as they felt the need to break and take in a deep breath.

Breaking apart, Annika just pressed her head over the mattress, breathing hard as the smile which captivated her swollen lips never cease to escape while Shivaay just looked at her intensely.

If this is what call heaven, then he will do thousand of sins just to experience it.

This was what he had always craved. Craved her, since the day she set her foot in this Mansion.

Sliding off her hair behind her ears he sighed; as she opened her eyes filled with love for him, he felt like he can now die peacefully. He saw her blushing and just pecked her nose murmuring a Sorry.

She smiled affectionately at him, stroking his left cheek with her right hand gently like he was a newborn baby, looking deep into his mesmerizing eyes as he seemed relieved, "You need not to"

"No I have to, I know I have been hurting you all this while but you need to understand me, Annika" he sat up, now frustrated how to make her understand that 'them' being together can't be possible.

"From the very first day I met you, I'm trying to understand you and to some extent I'm doing it because even if you are still a mystery for me, I know you have feelings for me" she sat beside him, now trying to make him understand, "I know you do, please you just can't deny it, now"

The determination in her voice didn't give him the courage to lie at her face. His silence was the silent manifestation of his love and without wasting a minute she found herself pressing her lips over his, which shocked her as well as him but no one present in that room, cared enough. He was repulsive, trying to move away from her with all his might but she didn't let him move away.

A scorching kiss followed hereafter, as his hands moved freely to every perfect curve of her body, making her tremble.

She doesn't know how much he had waited to touch her like the way he is doing right now, to claim her as his without any hesitation. Breaking from the kiss, he didn't leave her, else clasping her in his arms, he started peppering kisses all over her face and neck while she held him tight, taking in all the things he is doing to her.

His mind was clouded with desire to make her his but suddenly as if by magic he stopped, this isn't happening, he can't go any further, only a kiss was the last thing he wanted to share with her because he knew if he'll go any further, he won't be able to stop himself in making her his in every possible way.

Springing away from her, he distanced himself from her. Running his fingers through his hair, angry with himself he groaned. why can't he put his hands off her? Why he kissed her again? He wasn't regretting it, but now he does because now he feared those consequences.

"No, this isn't happening" Shivaay whispered, trying to bring back his sanity, "Fuck! We need to stay away from each other" saying so, he stood up in a hope to go away anywhere but to her.

Annika had held his wrist in reflex stopping him in his track, "Why can't it happen?" She sounded disappointed, "Why?"

"Because I have been very tired but I'm not getting any sleep. I never feel the food pangs anymore. I have been so bitter and cold that the only thing which could warm me is Alcohol since god knows how long. Since the day I have regained my consciousness I'm struggling between killing myself or the memories which surround my mind every damn second of my life and I think the first one is a logical option. If I'm not there so do the memories will." His eyes started to stink again, his voice had that desperation to make her believe that he wasn't perfect for her as he jerked his hands away from her grip, "I have been trying to figure out happiness from the equation of my life but it seems every time I try to solve it, I fail in it miserably."

His voice raised a bit as he throws his hands up in grief, "You see? It feels like I'm a hero of a blockbuster film who walks in slow emotion out of an explosion but instead I'm not able to back off and my world is crippling down so fast. It's terrible and You know what? Why this is all because? Because my life is complicated. My parents are murderers, my father wasn't able to keep up with his marriage and I'm afraid of doing that to you. I'm scared of the possibility of doing such things to you in the future and hurting you. I'm not worthy! I'm not" he shouted, shouted enough to let his words echo in his room as he falls to the ground on his knees crying bitterly.

She was crying, crying seeing him like this. Her heart ached, ached with the thoughts of him going through all of this, all alone. But not anymore. Not when she is with him.

Going on to her knees she held him face as he looked at her with a hope - a hope that she will snatch him away from the dark world he had lived all this while and make him enter the colorful world with whom he wasn't even recognizable to while his mind was telling something totally opposite of it.

"Stop It, Shivaay!" Her expression turned more tender, "Stop making decisions for me. You just can't tell me that you are not worthy of me, Okay? Let me at-least consider this on my own what is right and wrong and what is worthy and unworthy for me" caressing his dampened cheeks she continued trying to make him understand, "And I know you are Right for me, let, be your past be damned, I'm only concerned with your present and future Shivaay"

"There is blood dripping out from every part of my body onto the ground every time I'm in contact with it, coming out from the wounds I seems not to have but are really there inside every cell of my body, and there's so much agony and grief and chillness that when I look down there are no stains but there seems to be so much blood, so much that I feel lifeless. As if I'm just a hollow body with bones." Tears pooled his innocent eyes more making her face blurry, "I wonder how my heart is still beating perhaps how I'm still alive because I'm sure they are my blood, the blood of this very body of mine. The blood of my past memories. The blood of my life which I have experienced since my childhood. The blood of my nightmares. The blood of me knowing that I won't be able to love someone anymore, of not having a life with my partner, the blood of me shattering in front of my eyes, killing me every moment little by little"

Wiping off his tears he slipped away from her - from her care and Love which threatens to take away his sanity "and the blood that I won't be able to reciprocate your love and efforts. It's devastating and you are telling me that you are being concerned with my present and future? How could it be when my present and future always have my past in them mixed like salt and water?"

"So you won't let me make any efforts in this relation?" She asked softly, moving towards him but he was fast enough to take a step back bringing her to a halt, "tell me?"

"No, I won't because it's better for you to be away from me" was his reply as he kicked the invisible dust in disgust.

"I'll mend you Shivaay, I'll do it. Just give me a chance, a chance to bring you back."

Stop! Just stop Annika.

"To fill your mind with beautiful memories that there is no space for those forbidden memories of your past and even if it came then It's me to comfort you. Let me be your escape, I —"

"It will be useless, so Stop this right here" his eyes gazed at her and he felt his body stiffen.

Stop Looking at me like this! It's distracting. Distracting me from lying to you.

"Please Shivaay—"

"Why don't you understand, I want you to be happy and I and happiness had never been to an equal foot" He screamed in frustration.

"It's because you never let it agree with you Shivaay" she argued back.

"Perhaps It didn't seem necessary at all" he just shrugged off his shoulder.

"Then, I'll make sure that you start believing that it is necessary" She challenged him, now crossing her arms across her chest, her eyes accusing him of an unknown crime he never knew he did, until now.

"It'll never gonna happen because I'll make sure that you don't perish in the flames of my darkness anytime soon"

"Shivaay?" She had moved towards him, now a few inches away from him - he was lost - lost in the attempt of thinking of any other alternative to stop her from going any further on the road of her destruction which surely had to be him.

"Okay, as you have said I won't be able to make you realize that then let our destiny be the silent testimony of what holds our future." She started, bringing him back to earth as he tried to avoid her eyes "Just the way it had made me realize that we are made for each other, let him make you realize the same as well"

Saying so, she stepped forward and embraced his stiff and cold form into her warm arms while his arms moved to hold her but it couldn't.

"And even if it takes years and years, I'll wait. Wait for you and your acceptance and most importantly your Love"

She whispered near his heart, trying to tell it to break open its wall and let her enter, while he wished that his heart never open because it will be the destruction of not him but hers as well.

She will wait and he will make sure that her wait doesn't end, ever.

**

Well, here is the end. Which is neither happy nor sad, but there is hope. I really couldn't let Shivaay accept Annika as his wife all of a sudden because I know it's not that easy, it's not easy to fight your demons and it takes time to overcome it. And here was the same case.

I hope it was worth your expectations. I have freaked a lot in this part and I would really appreciate your thoughts regarding how it was, so do comment and hit the star button if you all like it.

Love ya,
-Anya❤️