"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ansh, happy birthday to you!" Anika and Shivani sang in chorus as Ansh cut his stack of Birthday PanCakes

and fed it to his mom and sister. Anika pressed a kiss on his forehead but he scrunched his nose.

"Mumma aisa mat kiya kijiye, main bada ho gaya hoon. 11 years ka." Ansh huffed.

"11 years ke ho jao ya 111 ke, main aise hi karoongi." Anika declared.

After breakfast, the kids got dressed and took their bags. Shivani was in her regular uniform while Ansh wore a light blue hoodie with jeans and carried an extra bag of chocolates. They, along with Anika, sat in car and were off to school.

"Friends ke liye chocolates blue bag mein hain. Teachers ke liye white box mein. Tiffin bag mein hain, poora finish karna. Tum bhi Shivani. And shaam ko Papa pick karne aa jaayenge. Kal main 11 baje FunZone aa jaaoongi, cake le ke." Anika instructed as they neared the school. Once they reached, she hugged them and watched them till they went inside the school building before leaving.

"Lalitji, aapne pastries aur toys collect kar liye the na?" Anika asked.

"Jee ma'am. Subah bakery aur toy shop jaake sab samaan le liye. Toys dikki mein hain aur pastries yahaan aage." Lalitji informed.

"Achha, aap Hope Children's Home le lijiye." Anika told him.

As they drove through the roads, Anika got lost on her thoughts.

"Happy birthday Ansh... and Happy birthday... Shivansh."
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13 years ago

Anika was sitting on the bed while on video call with Shivaay. One of her hands held the phone up while the other rested on her 7 months pregnant baby bump.

"6 mahine kaise beet gaye pata hi nahi chala. Pichhli baar toh humne ek-ek din ka hisaab rakkhe the." Anika spoke over the video call.

Shivaay, who was also lying on bed of a hotel room, told her, "Pichhli baar zaroorat bhi thi. You used to get very sick."

"Woh toh hain. Luckily, yeh pregnancy thodi asaan rahi hain. Shaayad doosri hain is liye." Anika theorized.

"Waise Anika, appointment push nahi ho sakti?"

"Shivaay main already apni 7 months ki appointment ek hafta aage kar chuki hoon. Main jaanti hoon aap har appointment mein mere saath chalna chahte hain likin main is ek appointment ke liye khud Jaa sakti hoon. Aur best cheez toh yeh ki Bhavya ki 2 months appointment bhi hain, main uske aur Rudra ke saath chali jaaoongi aur aa jaaoongi."

"I'm thrilled, actually elated to have another baby but I still can't fathom the fact ki Rudy baap banne wala hain!" Shivaay expressed, making Anika laugh.

"Achha, main aaj phone rakhti hoon. Aap apni dawai khaana mat bhooliyega."

"You too. Good night."

"Good night."

Next morning, Anika was en route the hospital with RuVya. She thought Shivaay and Omkara were overprotective about their pregnant wives, but Rudra was a whole new level. The 30 minute drive to the hospital took them 1 hour because he refused to drive faster than walking speed, leading Bhavya to threaten to throw him out and drive herself.

Anika sat in the waiting room as RuVya went in for their appointment. She didn't mind accompanying them but today they would get to hear their baby's heartbeat for the first time. Deciding to let the couple cherish that precious moment with each other, she opted out of accompanying them. While waiting, she got a call from Shivaay.

"Haan Shivaay?"

"What are my babies doing?"

"Ek ghar pe so rahi hain, ek mere pet mein."

"Awww! My cuties!"

"Cuties ke papa kya kar rahe hain?"

"Flight mein baithe hain. Socha takeoff ke pehle cuties ki Mumma se baat kar lein."

"Aapka kaam ho gaya!? Aap ghar aa rahe hain!?"

"Yes and yes. I'll land in 1.5 hours."

"Jaldi se ghar aa jaayiye. Main appointment ke baad seedha aapse miloongi."

"Yes, your highness. I'll see you soon. Bye and take care."

"Aap bhi." Anika wished and hung up. She squealed in excitement. Shivaay was coming home after a week.

RuVya exited the doctor's cabin and Rudra ran to Anika, holding the ultrasound photo in front of her.

"Bhabhi! Yeh dekhiye! Kya handsome baby hain humara! Apne dad pe gaya hain!"

Bhavya side-eyes him. "Baby rajme ke size ka hain abhi!"

"Kya rajme ke size ka handsome baby hain humara!"

Suppressing a chuckle, Bhavya asked. "Baby ladki hui toh?"

"Kya beautiful baby hain humari! Ekdum Mummy- ek minute, aap mujhe baaton mein uljha rahi hain?!" Rudra huffed.

"Nahi, aap khud yeh jaal bun rahe hain." Bhavya stated.

Their banter continued for a few minutes, before the nurse informed Anika that Dr Madan was ready to see her. RuVya offered to accompany Anika for her appointment but she sent the couple to the cafeteria, knowing they hadn't eaten anything yet.

The appointment went as all of Anika's previous appointments had been. Questions, vitals, ultrasound. Only during the ultrasound something felt off because Dr Madan's relaxed and happy smile turned a concerned frown.

"Anika, have you felt any movements recently? Has the baby been active?" Dr Madan asked, moving the transducer over Anika's belly.

Anika thought for a second then replied. "Kal jitna tha, utna nahi. Par kyoon? Kya hua, Doctor?"

"Have you experienced cramps or bleeding?"

Anika's blood ran cold.

"Doctor, kya baat hain? Please batayiye! Mera baccha... woh theek hain na? Please, kuch boliye."

"Anika..." Dr Madan started, no easier or gentler way to break the news. "There is no heartbeat."

Footsteps echoed through the corridor as Shivaay ran across the hospital, frantically searching for the room number Rudra texted him.

Once he landed and turned his phone on, there were 10 missed calls from Rudra and 2 from Anika. When he redialed, Anika's broken voice and Rudra's fraught words came through phone and Shivaay rushed to hospital at once.

"Bhaiya..."

Rudra approached Shivaay as he rounded a corner and hugged him, tightening his hold when he felt his elder brother trembling.

"Ru..Rudy, An..ni..Anik..ka.." Shivaay stammered but Rudra stopped him from saying anything and guided him to a hospital room.

Anika, in a hospital gown, was sitting on the bed with Bhavya beside her. When ShivRu entered, Bhavya stepped aside and Shivaay's heart shattered seeing Anika's tear-streaked face. Shivaay ran and wrapped her in his arms as Anika broke down into gut-wrenching sobs.

"Shivaay... Shivaay hum..humara..mara bacchaa... humara bach..baccha..." Anika cried out and Shivaay only held her closer despite tears streaming down his own face.

Dr Madan and her team arrived shortly and told them that because Anika was seven months along, they needed to induce labour as it was the safest way to deliver the baby. Shivaay had a million questions for the doctors but held them in as Anika nodded numbly and Dr Madan motioned the nurses to inject the medications into Anika's IV that would start contractions.

As the labour progressed, the pain intensified. Anika's body, familiar with the process from her first pregnancy, responded quickly to the induction. The contractions came faster, stronger, giving her little time to recover between them. She clung to Shivaay's hand, her nails digging into his skin, and he didn't flinch. If this was what she needed to do to release the pain, he would let her.

"Shivaay," she whimpered, tears streaming down her face. "M..main... mujhse nahi hoga."

"You can do it Anika. I know you can." Shivaay said firmly, though his own voice wavered. He brushed damp strands of hair away from her forehead. "You're the strongest person I know, Anika. And I'm here with you."

Finally, the time came to push. Dr Madan guided Anika through the process, her voice gentle but steady. "You're doing great, Anika. Just one more push."

With a guttural cry, Anika gave everything she had, and then it was over. The room fell into an unbearable silence. There was no sharp wail, no first breath. The absence of sound was louder than anything Anika had ever heard.

The nurse carefully wrapped the tiny baby in a soft blanket and approached Anika. "Aapka beta."

Fresh tears spilled out of Anika's eyes as she reached out with trembling arms and cradled her son against her chest. He was so small, his features delicate and perfect, his face peaceful as if he were merely sleeping. She traced a finger along his tiny nose and lips, memorising every little detail of him.

Shivaay sat beside her, his own tears falling freely now. He wrapped an arm around her and looked down at their son. "Hi..." he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Anika's lips wobbled as she looked up at Shivaay, delicately caressing their son's cheek.

"Hi..." Anika's voice trembled. "Hi Shivansh."

Shivaay's head jerked up, his eyes wide with shock. His chest tightened, and for a moment, he couldn't breathe. While Shivani's name was decided after she was born, Shivaay and Anika had names picked for their second child beforehand. Anshika for a girl. Shivansh for a boy.

"Shivansh. Yeh tumhara naam hain. Mumma-papa ne choose kiya hain. Tum... tumhari badi behen Shivani, use bhi yeh naam bahot pasand hain." Anika spoke to baby in her arms. She kissed his forehead and drew a shaky breath. "Tumhari Mum...Mumma tumhe bahot, bahot, bahot pyaar karti hain, theek hain? I love you. I love you so much."

Anika and Shivaay spent hours holding their baby, talking to him, telling him they loved him until a nurse entered  and quietly stood at the door. Shivaay looked towards Anika, who instinctively tightened her hold around her baby.

"Anika..." His voice cracked as he said her name.

"Jaanti hoon." Anika mumbled before handing the baby to Shivaay.

Shivaay looked at the bundle in his arms. His baby. His son. He looked at him for a long minute, memorising every little detail about him and etching it into his memory before handing him over to the nurse. Before letting go.

As the door closed, Shivaay pulled Anika into his arms, who broke down into gut-wrenching sobs. She clung to Shivaay like a lifeline, the grief in her heart threatening to consume her whole.

Hours passed by as Anika lay in the hospital bed, a numbness washing over her. The world looked out of focus and sounds seemed muffled. At some point, Rudra sat next to her while Shivaay had to step out, but she didn't remember exchanging any words with him. Some time during the next day, Anika was discharged. Her body was working on auto-pilot, transporting her from the hospital room to the car and back to Oberoi Mansion. There was a hand holding hers the whole time, which she knew was Shivaay's.

When Anika crossed the threshold of the house and all eyes were on her, she suddenly became very aware of the world around. Her chest heaved, the sensations overwhelming her. She needed to stay present. She needed to stay grounded. She needed... needed.

"Shivani..." Anika scanned the room till her eyes landed on Gauri. "Shivani kahaan hain?"

Gauri blinked for a second before replying, "Upar, Raahil ke saath humare kamre mein-"

Anika darted towards the staircase and hastily climbed up. Halfway through, she stopped and doubled over as pain shot through her body. She had given birth just a day and half ago, of course her body wanted to rest. But the storm coursing through her would only find rest when she had seen her child, her daughter. So steeling herself, Anika climbed the remaining flight of stairs and went to RiKara's room.

Shivani and Raahil were playing on the bed with Jhanvi and Tej looking after them. Anika entered, panting slightly. Tej had just opened his mouth o say something but Anika dashed towards the bed and pulled Shivani on to her lap, hugging her tightly.

"Mumma!" Shivani spoke and held her mother with her tiny arms, making Anika hold her even closer.

Jhanvi gestured Tej to take Raahil outside and stop others from coming in, to which Tej silently agreed.

Jhanvi sat beside Anika, leaving a few inches of space between them. After a few moments, Shivani tried to wiggle out of Anika's hold to grab her teddy bear so Anika put her back on bed. Jhanvi looked towards Anika and Shivika.

"Om 2 saal ka tha jab Tej and I were expecting our second child." Jhanvi started and Anika turned towards her. "Pregnancy ke 5th month mein... I had a miscarriage."

Jhanvi drew a shaky breath as Anika looked towards wide eyes but not having the right words to say anything. Jhanvi blinked slowly and placed her hand on top of Anika's.

"Jis dard se tum guzar rahi ho, I don't think hum mein se koi bhi samajh sakta hain. Likin hum sab har kadam pe tumhare saath hain Anika, for anything you need. We're here for you, I'm here for you." Jhanvi assured.

"Badi ma," A chocked sob escaped Anika. She looked up at Jhanvi with glassy eyes and asked, "yeh dard... kabhi kam hoga?"

Fresh tears fell from Anika's eyes. Jhanvi cupped Anika's cheek with one hand, wiping the tear tracks with her thumb.

"Dard ke saath jeene ki aadat pad jaata. Seene pe yeh dard bahot bhaari lagta hain, saans nahi aati. Likin waqt ke saath, hum is dard ko uthana seekh jaate hain, baatna seekh jaate hain, saath jeena seekh jaate hain. Slowly, but eventually, you grow around the pain Anika."

Present

"Ma'am, hum pahunch gaye." Lalitji informed, pulling Anika's attention to gaye of Hope Children's Home.

"Aap gaadi park kar dijiye aur samaan utaarne mein meri help kar dijiye." Anika asked and Lalitji did as instructed.

One attendant from the orphanage came to help unload the bags. Anika went inside and greeted the staff before heading to the courtyard to meet the children.

One of the children saw her and exclaimed, "Angel ma'am!"

Anika smiled and spread her arms wide open as the children rushed to her and hugged her.

"Aa jao, sab log aa jao, group hug karenge!" Anika encouraged as all the children her and each other.

Breaking away from the hug, she greeted the kids individually, introducing herself to some of the new kids and giving longer hugs to some of the older ones.

She clapped her hands, gathering their attention. "Chalo, sab bada sa circle bana ke baith jao. Abhi snacks pass honge jo hum achhe se lenge aur sab ek-ek karke batao, kisne class mein kya seekha, kya games khele?"

Anika motioned to Lalitji and the wardens to distribute the pastries to all the children as the younger ones enthusiastically counted till 10, something they had learned recently.

Anika had started helping Jhanvi with the charity work of Oberoi Group and the NGOs Jhanvi independently worked with. Eventually, she took over managing Hope Children's Home. She made sure those kids had everything they needed.

When a couple of years later Ansh was born, on the same day and bearing the same features as Shivansh, Anika could finally believe that maybe, just maybe her fate wasn't all that cruel to her after all. Ansh and Shivani become the centre of her universe. The moon and the stars that guided her and never let her stray away in the darkness. And Shivansh, he was her twinkling star that she knew was always with her in heart, even if she couldn't see him.

Every year on their birthday, Anika sent toys and cakes for all the children at the orphanage and whenever she got opportunity, would go herself to spend time with them.

Jhanvi was right. Slowly, but eventually, Anika learnt to live with the pain and grow around it.

A/N: Took me 2 months to write this and now I'm just...