Waverly POV

Its been a week since I've left the Hospital and a few days since my surgery and I can't get anytime to myself. Jacob and Robin have been suffocating me all week, asking me if I need anything every 5 minutes and not letting me get up unless one of them is present. And don't get me wrong I love the help but I need my space; I mean we did have a fellatio session last week and I'm still trying to figure out what I want. I don't have time for boys in life right now......but then again they are my brothers and I can't avoid these feelings forever.....and then there is the part where they are my brothers and this whole situation is just wrong and, "Sinful" as some would say. I just need time and they are to blinded by my injuries to see that I need space to figure out what I want.

"Good morning Wave, did you sleep well?" Robin comes in without knocking once again with a plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I look over at him and give him and warm but very fake smile. "Fine Robin, but I'm still sorta tired so you can just leave the food on the nightstand I will eat it later." I say in my groggy morning voice pretending to sound tired so he can leave and I can think. "Oh no it's fine you sleep and I'll sit here and wait so I can feed you when you wake up.", he says looking at me with a clearly pleading smile as if he were begging to be near me, to be close to me..... to..... touch me?

 I don't know, but this needs to stop I need to fucking think and I can't do that with him here. "Actually I am hungry but I don't want this.....I want Mazie's, and you know what I like can you go get me some please?" Mazie's is my favorite breakfast restaurant, but we don't go often because if like 45 minutes away from where live. " But Wave that's like an hour away and I just made you breakfast." Robin whined with a pouted sad face, I tried so hard not to burst into laughter at his childish antics but I had to restrain myself to make it seem like I really needed this. "Robkins please?" I said in the best baby voice I could stir up, but I already knew I had him at a loss because he would never turn me down if I called him Robkins. 'Hehe Robin is so gullible its too funny' I chuckle on the inside as he sighs and says OK. He picks up his keys off the hall table and walks down the steps into the living room where my mother is sleeping. 

Her condition has become more severe over the years. She has done so much Chemo I feel like it has had some permanent effects on her. I'm scared I'm going to loose her before graduation, I don't know what I would do if I lost her before then. I just want her to see me succeed, I want her to be proud of me, I want to make her see she has someone that she still has someone that believes in her. Not that my bothers don't care, its just they have sorta given up on hope they still love her and still will take care of her but they have accepted the fact that she will die soon, and I just don't think I'm ready to lose both of my parents. One I can handle but both would take me into an entire relapse. 

(Flashback) 4 Years Earlier

I winced as the razor went over flesh. Taking in breath after breath as it sliced through my skin. It felt so good I just couldn't stop. I've been cutting since last year and no one has found out so far, I think I'll be good just as long as I ask mom for some more money to buy some more jeans. I've been so stressed, I feel like dad is going to come back, he's coming back for me, to take me away from the boys and mom. I have dreams about it all the time, well more like nightmares not really dreams. I do 5 more rows and then put the razor down, look at it for a minute and then pick it up and do 5 more rows. I watched as the blood drained out of my skin and touched it slightly before I heard the bath room door knob being opened, I tried to rush and clean up but Jacob was two fast and I slipped on spilled blood and landed on my back. 

"What the hell!?!!??" Jacob screamed banged the door hard on the wall and rushed in to help me. "What the fuck are you doing Waverly?!!?!?!?" Jacob said in the most stern voice he could muster, I knew he was enraged because he never says my real name unless something is wrong. " I........I was just......... I was......UGH!!!!!!! JACOB GET OUT!!!!!!!!" I said just so frustrated and pointed to the door. Jacob looked down at me with disbelief in his eyes, sucked in a very heavy breath and the next thing I know I'm being picked up and carried out of the bathroom and into Jacob and Robin's joined room. I screamed and punched Jacob as hard as I could in the back but he didn't even flinch as if it wasn't even affecting him. He sets me on the bed as i can see all of my blood seeping through the front of his shirt. I look down and see that i didn't have time to rap my legs properly so it was bleeding and dripping all down my leg. 

"Robin!" Jacob screamed and just stared at me with the most pure and the most passionate look of  disgust upon his face. I've never seen him look at anyone like this......especially not me, I felt so ashamed. Robin walked in with a bowl of popcorn and is digging in it looking for the least flavored one in the bowl when he finds it puts it in his mouth and looks up. When he does he drops the bowl and all the popcorn spills out. "Waverly!!!!!! What the Fuck!!??!!??!!" Robin screams and runs out of the room, he returns soon with a damp wash cloth and starts to remove the blood from legs. "Wavelry, what the hell were you thinking???? Do you think this is really the best option. You not only have one but two brothers that you could have come too. How long have you been doing this to yourself??"

"I was thinking I wanted to feel Robin......" I mumble barley over a whisper. "Yes its the best option for me, I love the release it gives me, I love the way it feels to release all the pain away." i say a little louder. "I've been doing it for about.......a.......um.....a year." I say barely at a whisper again. "A year!?!?!!!!?!!?" Jacob and Robin scream in unison. I wince back a little, they've never yelled at me before. They are both really mad, 'ugh I knew I should have locked the fucking door!!!' " Yes, a year." I say again mumbling so quietly a mouse couldn't even hear. "You've been doing this for a fucking year Waverly? Why?" Robin says with glossy eyes. I look into to his eyes and open my mouth for a response then think again and close it. I look away and stand up to leave and they let me go. That was the last day I ever cut and they know it.

 (End of Flashback)

"Honeywaver.........Honeywaver?" Jacob calls from the other end of the bed, snapping me out of my thoughts. 'Ugh I totally forgot there were two' "Yes Jacob?" i say nicely with a fake smile. "Cut the bullshit Robin isn't here, that shit might work on him but it isn't going to work on me I know you better than that honeywaver." He says in the most annoying voice. "Fine what Jacob I want ot be alone right now." I say clearly annoyed. Jacob looks at me with apologetic eyes and I raise an eyebrow. He take in a deep breath and say something I really wouldn't expect.

"How do you feel about um..... what we did before your accident?" He looks at me then down at the floor and rubs the back of his neck. I look up and smile.........

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Im so sorry for not updating. Ive recently had a relapse with my cutting and it was so bad I couldnt type and then after i attempted um.....ya'know and failed and have been going to therapy and today I just felt up to it. once again im sorry for the wait but I will maybe be updating every other week, my therapist says i have cut back on social media and stuff and focus on me and my needs before anyone else so yea. Sorry guys. I hope you like this chapter and no this chapter is not about me the feelings are the same but the reason behind it is different and the time when it took place is different and how long its been going on is different aswell. anyway Vote please Comment and Follow please thanks and i hope yall have a wonderful weekend... :)