Word Count: 2158

✷✷✷

It was a weekend full of anguish, you didn't feel good about having to go to school and endure Adrien's presence because you knew it would be painful.

Even with Luppus's attempts to cheer you up, it was difficult. Just thinking about him made your head hurt.

It was exam week, so you decided to just focus on studying, if it was possible, avoiding contact seemed to be the least painful way for you.

After you got ready and made sure you put on a hood that covered most of your face, the driver took you to school. As you walked down the hallway you breathed in and out as you repeated it in your mind;

Out of sight, out of mind...

Out of sight, out of mind...

Just don't look at him. Yeah! It'll work!

You entered the room and walked to your seat while Alya, Marinette waved at you. Adrien was next to them and you felt his gaze on you. You didn't dare make eye contact, just gave them a quick wave and hurried to your seat next to your friend.

"(Y/n)? I thought you wouldn't come today. Are you sure everything's okay?" Felix asked looking up from his notebook as you sat down next to him.

"Yes! Thanks to you I feel better. What are you reading there? I need to review for the exams." You took his notebook and started reading what he had highlighted. "What an organized guy..." You unconsciously praised him with your face literally inside the notebook, so that it blocked your view of Adrien who was sitting in the front desks.

Felix furrowed his eyebrows worriedly but decided to help you with the review for now.

As soon as the recess bell rang, you quickly grabbed your things and hurried out of the classroom.

Alya watched you leave hastily and furrowed her eyebrows noticing your strange behavior since you arrived.

She walked up to Felix and asked if he knew why you had disappeared at the party and weren't answering any messages. She was worried about you.

"She's grounded, her parents won't let her use her cell phone because she came home late after the party." He lied easily as he walked past Alya, going looking for you.

"Okay... But that doesn't explain her acting so strange." Alya thought out loud as she rubbed her chin watching Felix leave.

"What are you mumbling Alya?" Marinette asked when she finished gathering her books.

"Have you noticed how (Y/n) has been acting strange lately?" Alya commented.

"Well... I don't know, she seemed great at the party. She even cheered everyone up and made them jump into the pool, didn't you see?" Marinette giggled.

"And after that I didn't see her again. She disappeared." Alya keep wondering.

Adrien was lost in his own thoughts, but as soon as he overheard Alya say your name he began to slowly put away his books just to stay there listening to the two girls' conversation.

"Hey girls, I've heard you're worried about (Y/n)." Suddenly Lila joined the conversation.

"I can guarantee she was very well, after she cheered everyone up in the pool, I saw her kiss Felix before going upstairs. They must have had a good time that night." Lila giggled with a smirk and waved leaving the classroom. Alya blinked several times in surprise, while Marinette just frowned, not believing anything.

Adrien clenched his fists so hard that the pencil in his hand broke in half as the splinters penetrated the palm of his clenched hand.

Those feelings of possession, jealousy and hatred that he thought he had buried long ago, returned. His mind was clouded with scenes of Felix touching you, filling you... doing things that only Adrien had the right to enjoy... and make you feel. He had waited for the right moment, but that moment never came and now it's over.

Not this fuckin shit

She's not would fuck with him right after...

"Dude? Your hand is bleeding! Are you alright?" Nino took Adrien out of the darkest thoughts hidden in his mind and the pain he felt in his palm now was nothing compared to the pain in his chest.

"Yeah, I think this pencil was old..." Adrien disguised himself by throwing the pencil in the trash. "I'll meet you later, I have to wash my hands." He left the room without making eye contact with Nino, keepings his gaze on the floor so that no one would see his green eyes that sparkled with fury and hatred.

In the canteen:

You ate while reading Felix's notes. This out of sight out of mind thing seemed a little ridiculous but it was actually working well.

Ever since Felix arrived and sat next to you, he has been typing something on his cell phone. You curiously tilted your head to the side to see what he was doing and you got intrigued to see several messages between him and Kagami.

" ... " You looked back at your notes, regretting having peeked. Why didn't you feel good when you knew that?

You shook your head, clearing away those confusing thoughts and went back to reading Felix's notes. But a trio of boys came to congratulate him on the party and you couldn't concentrate properly.

"Hey, Isn't that Kisser Girl? I almost didn't recognize you because of the hood." One of them said excited.

"Busy, Can't talk now." You kept your eyes on the book hoping they'd go away.

"Oh come on, everyone wants to know how you hook up with Chat Noir." Another guy in the group insisted on talking. You shifted uncomfortably in your chair ready to grab your things to get out of there but Felix speak for you.

"You know guys, it's a bit shameful to ask a stranger for tips on how to hook up with someone. Are you all in a dry spell or are you just curious virgins?" The blonde's sneer left the group so embarrassed that they just left without asking any more questions. You were also embarrassed because you fit the virgin description perfectly.

"Cheers." You thanked him with a slight warmth in your cheeks, thinking that Felix's arrogant manner wasn't so unbearable after all...

You looked away from the book to look out of the corner of your eye at those white teeth smiling boldly, while his eyebrows furrowed at the curious group leaving. You found yourself admiring him and also got so curious to know if he really had sexual experiences but you didn't have the boldness to ask him now.

Confidence, Boldness...

God... Why was it so hot all of a sudden?

✷✷✷

You spent the rest of the class studying and turning a blind eye to everything that wasn't related to studying. You even received a message from Adrien and some messages unread from Alya but you didn't dare read it and took the opportunity to put your phone on silent. You don't feel like talking now.

When you got home, you took a shower, put on your comfortable pajamas, put on some relaxing music and went to study more. You were concentrated face down on your bed reading your notes.

Until you hear a knock on your sliding door and you jump out of bed.

When you look back you hold back a scream of surprise when you see Chat Noir entering your room.

"C-Chat Noir?" You try to look at him but look away to the floor, it was still so painful.

"I really want to talk to you. Are you okay? You've been avoiding me so much..." He stood in front of you, keeping a certain distance.

"I need some time for myself now. Seeing you just makes things harder to me." You explained in a whisper, your eyes still on the floor.

"You know (Y/n), I can't understand why I can't disobey my father but... I want to be with you. I really want it. It's torturous to me when you pull away like that." Chat Noir reached out to touch you but he stopped himself by taking a step back.

"I don't think it's best for us to pretend that everything is fine and talk as friends as if nothing is happening. You need to get along with your father. And I..." You didn't know how to explain what was wrong with you to him.

"And you need to know if you still love me, isn't it?" He read you like a book that even you couldn't understand. When you found the courage to look him in the eyes, you couldn't unsay it or deny it.

His eyes left you paralyzed.

Those green eyes didn't have their usual cheerful sparkle.

Without a response from you he just added;

"I only ask you one thing (Y/n), if you don't want be with me anymore, be safe. I want you to be happy. But please don't let me know, don't let me see, if you do, I think I'll go mad." Those green eyes were so cold and sad that they reminded you of certain blue eyes that once courted you in a deadly way.

You clasped your hands together to contain your shaking tension at the thought that Chat Blank might come back because of a wrong answer from you.

Chat Noir wanted to ask you a question that was torturing his mind with all its might.

Those dull green eyes slowly... Very slowly devoured the exposed parts of your body. Neck, cleavage and thighs looking for marks, bruises any evidence that you were touched by another guy. This thought drove him so crazy that he didn't hide his hatred and fury before looking back into your eyes.

When he saw the glimpse of fear in your eyes and your accelerated breathing, he put himself together, turning to leave without looking back.

Your knees gave way as soon as he was gone. He had never looked at you like that, you felt naked and in danger.

It was as if Chat Blanc was here.

What was he thinking about?

✷✷✷

For the next few days of the test you just focused on studying and doing other activities you liked like piano and karate. In addition to continuing to turn a blind eye to your feelings.

You always kept your distance from Adrien and it seems like he respected your choice because he also did everything he could to stay away.

It didn't cross your mind that if he got too close to you, he would end up doing something stupid.

Felix was sometimes looked daggers by his cousin but he didn't care, thinking it was just another drama and didn't mention it to you.

Furthermore Felix was busy with certain preparations that would change the things.

"Are you sure you'll be busy again? Why don't you just tell the truth?" You confronted Felix at break when he again gave an excuse for not training with you.

"Truth? What are you talking about?" He looked away hiding his tension skillfully.

"You have been going out with Kagami. Why don't just tell me?" Then he laughed kinda relief.

"You don't ask me." He shrugged. You pressed your lips into a thin irritated line but then took a deep calming breath.

"You two are perfect for each other." You tried hard to be happy for both of them but something inside you was bothering you. You just ignored it like you've been doing with your dilemmas lately.

☆☆☆

Over the next few days Felix became increasingly elusive and distant, you thought his thing with Kagami was taking up a lot of his time so you weren't surprised by the different way he was acting. You took the opportunity to disconnect from Social Media and the news, you just wanted to relax and feel good about your mind again.

The exams are finally over and you managed to get good grades. The self-therapy you gave yourself worked in a way.

One day in the late afternoon when you were taking a walk near the Eiffel Tower with your favorite songs playing in your headphones.

Several black butterflies gather together forming Hawk Moth's face right in front of the Tower. You took out one of your headphones and looked on half-heartedly as people were freaking out.

Argh... What's the new now?

Hawk Moth has now named himself Monarch and given a speech about something that Ladybug missed and he will attack the Parisians relentlessly until she hands over her and Chat Noir's Miraculous.

Out of sight, out of mind...

You turned around.

"Ladybug is not alone, Chat Noir is with her. They can handle it." You smiled confidently but a hint of sadness and envy ran through your chest at the thought that you could no longer be his support without your heart hurting.

Why can't I just be your friend?