"Iwan ko muna kayo," Paalam ng school nurse namin bago lumabas ng kwarto.

Ngayon ang nandito nalang ay ako, si Ricky at si France, na maga ang mukha at putok ang labi habang nakaupo sa kama na nakalaan para sa mga may sakit. We're at our university's clinic, after all.

"Long time no see, Ash. You look.... better," Wika ni France matapos ang mahabang katahimikan.

"Better? I guess so. I'm definitely better now compared to those times when everyone avoided and bullied me back when we were in high school. Talk about memorable, and I got you to thank for that."

"..... I'm sorry," Maiksing turan ni France bago manahimik muli.

"Your sorry won't really do anything, you know? It won't take us back to the past nor would it heal the scars that your actions have caused me." Hindi ako nagtatanim ng galit or anything. This is just the truth.

How nice would it be to become the villain of every story. Most of them just have to apologize to the kind heroine near the end then they'll be forgiven, without suffering or understanding the pain they've caused to others.

"I know. People like me don't really apologize to be forgiven. That apology is more on self-satisfaction. It feels better doing so, after all."

"Talk about selfish," Singit ni Ricky na mukhang nagsisimula nang kumulo ang dugo.

Ngumiti lang si France sa mga salitang nanggaling kay Ricky bago magsalita muli, "Seems like you've found yourself another great friend. Make sure to treasure him this time.

"I will, but it seems like you've lost yours."

"You mean Kyler?"

"Yup, the same man that tried to heal me just to leave a bigger injury in the end."

"....I love him."

"Ano?" Pagpapaulit ko sa sinabi ni France kasi baka mali lang ako ng narinig.

"I said I love him, diba nandito ko para tanungin ako kung bakit ko nagawa sayo 'yon dati? Well, that's your answer."

"Huh, wait..... you have feelings for Kyler!? Diba mag-bestfriend kayo?"

Tinaasan lang ako ni France ng isang kilay na para bang sinasabi na, " Sayo pa talaga nanggaling 'yan?"

"Ano ngayon? In-love ka tapos ano? Gagawa ka ng katarantad*han na makakasakit ng ibang tao?" Singit muli ni Ricky na mukhang konti nalang ay susunod na kay Jake sa guidance office.

"Yup, that's correct. Love makes you do all sorts of things, you know? It'll grant you momentary happiness, for a heavy price later. Alam kong alam mo ang ibig kong sabihin Ash. Finding love just to lost it in the end, ironic isn't it?"

"Right," Pagsang-ayon ko sa aking isipan.

"Ano bang pinagsasasabi mo? Just get straight to the point," Naiiritang sabi ni Ricky.

"It's actually quite simple. Love is like drugs, and I let myself get addicted to it kahit na alam kong ikakasama ko."

Hindi parin kami dinederetso ni France. Pra bang iniikot niya lang ang usapan para makaiwas siya sa pagsasabi ng totoong rason sa likod ng mga nagawa niya.

"You still don't get it, Ash?"

"Huh?"

"Hayst, wala ka talagang kaalam-alam noh? Kailangan ba talaga ako pa magsabi, tch! Kyler, he..... he genuinely loved you, Ash. At kahit kailan, yon ang 'di ko matatanggap. I mean, bakit di nalang ako diba? Ako naman yung lagi nyang kasama, ako yung may alam ng mga paborito nya, alam ko kung ano yung mga bagay na makakapagpasaya sa kanya, at higit sa lahat.... mahal ko siya. Why can't a person just choose someone that would fuck*ing love them back!?"

"That won't be love then. Love is not a choice, after all. It's a selfish feeling that will make us chase the one it sought for. I guess.... you're just another victim, like me."

"Tch, your the worst Ash. You could have just shouted at me or- or punch me. Why do you have to be so....." Naluluhang sabi ni France.

Nginitian ko lang si France bago tumalikod, "Take care."

France's POV

I wonder how to be you Ash. Pareho  tayong nasaktan—no, higit pa ang sakit na naranasan mo kaysa sakin. Kaya naman bakit nagagawa mo paring ngumiti? bakit parang ayos ka parin? Tulad mo.... magiging ayos rin kaya ako?