I don't know what to think. Is it possible that sometimes when he's at work, he's not at work? Is it possible that Jim has been lying to me?

I don't want to believe it. I don't want to think about what he really was doing. And I also didn't want to ignore it, either.

I couldn't sleep at night, as dramatic as that sounds. I couldn't sleep when I heard the peaceful snores of a liar right next to my ear.

And I hate being lied to. I despise it. There's nothing worse than lying, in my books. So, while he was asleep, I quietly picked up his phone from the nightstand. I made sure to be careful as I made my way into the bathroom, so I wouldn't wake him up and get caught.

I'm normally against going through his phone, but I need this. I need this reassurance that I'm either right to be afraid or extremely paranoid. I just can't stay in this state of confusion.

I'm not sure what I expected. It's like I thought an app called How To Lie would suddenly appear, but that wasn't the case. I decided to check his texts.

I saw some from friends like Matt and Jeff. I quickly disregarded them after I saw that they pretty much just sent memes back and forth to each other. And then I saw a name I had never seen before.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure I know all of his friends. I'd never heard of this one.

Her name was Rosaline.

The fact that I didn't know her made me click to read their texts. The most recent messages made my heart clench.

Rosaline: thanks so much for the fun earlier, babe. are you sure your husband doesn't know?

Jim: He thinks I'm working.

Rosaline: okay. i just want to make sure we can keep going.

Rosaline: love those marks you left, babe.

I had read enough for one night. Tears had already started falling from my eyes, and I had used my hand to cover my mouth as I sobbed quietly. I couldn't believe Jim would do this to me, especially after the fact that he knows what it's like to be cheated on.

Am I not enough?

I wiped my tears and shakily walked out of the bathroom. I turned off his phone and placed his phone down on the nightstand. For a moment, I hesitated before going back into bed.

He cuddled against me, and let out a small sigh.

Normally, I would pull him closer and place my chin on top of his head. But I can't. Not anymore for a guy who doesn't love me.