I wanted to contact him.

Talk things over.

I freaked out on him and never gave him time to explain.

My friends and family discouraged it...

But my kids...

After another week, they seemed so excited to see Casper come back soon and it broke my heart. And Heather... she was so young and she needed more than just me. Bryan and Eugene, I could handle them alone, but Heather... she must've sensed something was wrong. If I didn't sing one of his songs or put him on tv or play his music, she wouldn't stop crying. Kids are honestly smarter than We give them credit for.

Either way, I definitely misunderstood. The model came out to confirm what he said, but everyone was still casting shade on Casper, saying he was an absentee father, a bad one and accused him of things that weren't true.

Why?

Because I was upset with him.

"Hey, you need a weekend to yourself, we'll watch your kids," Tyler said warmly.

He said it as I was trying to think up where I'd get the time to talk to Casper.

It just landed on my lap in a perfect little package.

"You don't have to. You and Tina are-"

"Hey, I want to help. Besides," he chuckled, "we need the experience. We found out Tina is pregnant!"

"Oh my god, Congrats!" I exclaimed, pouncing my best friend and bear hugging him. "You two have been together so long, I didn't know what would come first, your marriage, or a kid."

"Hey, we've been married for over a year now."

"I know, but still,"

He chuckled, "you beat everyone to the punch though. Three kids."

"But not married," i grumbled.

He tended up, seemingly worried, "Hey, I didn't-"

"No, I'm over it. Honestly the whole thing was stupid anyways."

Tyler sighed, "even if it was a misunderstanding, I still don't like him."

"I know, but I need to talk to him. He's still their dad and the love of my life."

"So? You deserve be-"

"Stop," I whispered, "if I could've fallen in love with anyone else, don't you think I would've done that by now?"

That shut him up, "I hate seeing you hurt Gavin. Please be careful, alright?"

"Careful? My entire life has been careful."

I knew I was getting mad at my best friend for no reason, but he seemed to understand. He placed a hand on my shoulder, smiling warmly at me, "Hey, I know this is a difficult time. Whatever you do, I support you. So if you want to get man, get mad, I understand."

"Why couldn't you be the one I fell in love with?" I groaned, pulling my best friend into a hug.

"Because I'm straight?"

I snorted, a wicked grin on my face, "then what about that time I saw you sucking dick in freshman year?"

He pushed me away, laughing his ass off, "look, that- yeah you're right, I'm bisexual as hell."

"Anyways," I said. "I think I'll invite him here this weekend. Just to talk."

"Don't sleep with him."

My face went slightly hot, "Tyler!"

"Well, it's a little late for that I guess. Just use a condom."

"You just told me you still don't like him."

"Yeah," he agreed, "but that doesn't mean you won't ride his dick while your kids are away."

"Ugh. Whhhhyyyy are you like this?"

"Because I'm your best friend, and a grade A asshole."

"I'm aware."

When the weekend came, I invited him over, sent the address and said that we needed to talk. He was ecstatic that I was willing to talk to him.

It hurt me knowing a misunderstanding split us up. I was just... scared.

I was always scared. I had a normal upbringing but I had terrible trust issues. Though, when you find out you can give birth... it's terrifying.

When Casper showed up at the door, all uneasiness, anger, bad emotions, slipped away from me. Casper was here, smiling awkwardly.

"Are the kids here?"

I shook my head, "Tina and Tyler have them for the weekend. Honestly, I prefer it that way. I can talk to you without worrying them."

He nodded solemnly and walked inside, moving to the couch. I sat beside him, looking at my hands, wondering how everything was going to go down.

I...

I needed to be honest.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," I repeated softly. "I didn't even listen to you and assumed the worst. I should've had more trust in you and i panicked."

He frowned, "it's not your fault. I'd be upset too if someone sent me a video like that."

"Still, I should've trusted you."

"It doesn't matter now, people are realizing it was a misunderstanding."

"I still hurt your career..."

Then Casper said something surprising, "my sales actually went up. People like drama."

"That's... ugh."

"Yeah..."

Silence filled the air between us, and I looked at him. He was tense, i could see the tension rest in his shoulders, but he wanted to make me comfortable, restraining himself from any contact.

"Casper, I still love you. I do still want you in my life and the kids. I was just, freaked out and scared."

"Scared of what?" He asked softly.

I looked away from him, "I was scared I wasn't good enough, that you didn't live me. Scared that you were only in it for sex even though I knew that wasn't true. Just scared."

He looked at me sadly, before extending an arm. I looked at it before tucking myself under it, being pulled Into his side. Casper seemed glad that I was warming up to him again.

"I love you and only you. Back then when I tried to move on... it just didn't work. I only saw you."

"Man I feel like an idiot," I grumbled, leaning into him more.

He gently moved his hand to ruffle my hair, gently running his fingers through it, "you're not an idiot. Idiots don't raise wonderful children."

"Pretty sure I'm still an idiot," I joked, "our kids have the benefit of me knowing smart people."

"You're smart."

"Tell that to my freak out."

He rolled his eyes, "that's called being human. Being an idiot is what I've done for most of our kids' life."

"You're a good father."

"So are you."

The air went quiet again, but it was nice. Peaceful.

There was nothing else we really needed to get off our chests. We still needed to talk, but for the time being, I was content laying in his arms.

"We're a mess." I whispered.

"A bit." He said. Then he saw my pointed look, "Okay, maybe a lot. Still, things end up working out for us."

"I guess."

He sighed and readjusted how we were sitting, pulling me into his lap, facing him. "We'll get through this," he said, cupping my face.

I smiled softly at his, my fingers dancing to his hands. He looked about ready to melt.

"God it's been to long, can I kiss you?"

"Fuck yes."

Casper dives in for my lips, and it was definitely a feeling that I missed. The warm buzz was just so perfect. I wanted more, and I knew well that he knew.

"Tonight's going to be all about you," he muttered softly. "Gonna treat you like a damn king."

And he did.