chapter fourteen

kaylathepublicist ✓ 20h

I watched April hold India on the couch, gently bouncing her as she talked to Leata. India was so small, her little hands wrapped around April's fingers as she cooed softly in her arms.

It made my heart swell to see India so calm and content with April, but my mind was racing with everything they were discussing. April had that look in her eyes—focused, determined, like she was already planning the next steps in her big vision for our future.

"We're officially buying a house for you guys," April said, a little too brightly, like she was trying to convince herself as much as the rest of us.

She glanced at Leata for support, and Leata gave her that knowing smile. They were both always so sure of what they thought was best for us.

I could feel Zilla's eyes on me, her presence solid and comforting beside me. But I still had to speak up. "Ma, please let us get used to having her here before we uproot her," I said, my voice firm but gentle.

I didn't want to be the one to rain on April's parade, but this was too much, too soon. We'd only just moved in with Zilla, and while I loved it here, I wasn't ready to be pushed into something else.

Zilla chuckled softly, but I saw the small, amused glint in his eyes. He wasn't exactly backing me up, though. I could tell he was going to let April do her thing. And April, of course, was very much not listening to me.

Leata smiled in a way that I knew meant she was agreeing with April. "I think a house is what they need. Zilla keeps moving from apartment to apartment," she said, nodding as if the words were a solid conclusion.

I could feel my heart skip a beat. Moving? I wasn't sure I could handle it.

Zilla gave me a soft shrug, the kind he always gave when he didn't want to get involved in a conversation, but also didn't want to make things worse. "Let them do their thing, baby," he told me quietly, his hand resting on my knee.

I sighed, leaning back against the couch. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate what they were doing, or the fact that April wanted to help. But I wanted some control over what was happening in my life. With India in the picture now, everything had shifted. But I wasn't ready to have all my decisions made for me, especially when it came to where we lived.

April nodded, apparently unaware of the storm brewing in my head. "I already sent Phil a list of the homes that I found," she said like she'd already done everything and now it was just a matter of me going along with it.

She said it so matter-of-factly, as if buying a house wasn't one of the biggest decisions we'd ever have to make.

Zilla shifted beside me, his hand rubbing my back as if trying to soothe me before I exploded. I wasn't going to explode—not this time, at least. But I couldn't stop myself from feeling frustrated. The whole idea of buying a house felt like too much, too fast. I hadn't even gotten comfortable in Zilla's apartment yet. I didn't want to think about a new place, new bills, new stress. I just wanted to focus on being here with Zilla, taking care of India, and figuring out how to be a family.

April, however, was already ten steps ahead of me. "I'm thinking of a family home in Houston," she said, eyes gleaming with excitement. "That way, you, Zilla, and India can live there, but also everyone can come to stay when they visit. It'll be perfect for all the family gatherings, and you won't have to worry about space anymore." She practically beamed, imagining the family home that already existed in her head.

I tried to smile back, but it was hard. I could see where she was coming from. A bigger house, more space for India to grow, for us to have room to breathe—it made sense in theory. But I wasn't ready. I wanted to enjoy where we were now, not rush to the next thing. I glanced at Zilla again, hoping he'd say something, but he just gave me that look, the one that said he didn't want to get in the middle of it.

India shifted in April's arms, whimpering a little, and April immediately adjusted, rocking her gently. The baby quieted down almost immediately, and I felt a pang of warmth in my chest. I couldn't argue with the way April handled India. She was so natural with her like she'd been a mom her whole life.

"And since India is turning three months soon," April continued, her eyes lighting up, "we could do a little photoshoot for her."

Leata practically squealed at the thought. "Oh, that would be adorable! I'd love to see that." Her voice was full of excitement, and I could feel her energy start to pull me in.

Leata was always good at getting me to see the brighter side of things, even when I was feeling weighed down by all the decisions.

I glanced at Zilla again, searching his face for any hint of doubt, any sign that he might share my hesitation. But all I saw was that small, reassuring smile. "Let them do their thing, baby," he repeated, his voice low and comforting.

He didn't want to make me feel bad for not wanting to go along with everything, but I could tell he was fine with it. Maybe even a little excited about the idea.

I sighed again, this time a little softer. I knew Zilla wasn't trying to push me, but he also didn't seem to have any problem with going along with whatever April had in mind. Maybe he was just happy that someone was trying to help.

That was the thing with April—she was a fixer. She liked to solve problems and take care of everyone, whether we asked for it or not. Sometimes it felt like too much. Sometimes I just wanted a little space to breathe and figure things out on my own.

India cooed in April's arms again, looking up at her with wide, curious eyes. I couldn't help but smile at how sweet she was, how perfect. And I wanted the best for her, but I also wanted to be the one to figure out what that was. I didn't want to be swept up in someone else's plan for our future.

Leata turned to me then, her eyes softer than usual. "Kayla," she said, her tone a little more serious. "You know we just want what's best for you guys. It's not about pushing you. But sometimes, it's okay to let people help. It doesn't mean you're not in control of your life. It just means you're letting others love you, too."

Her words hit me harder than I expected. I felt a tightness in my chest, like a knot that hadn't been there before. She was right, of course. It wasn't about control. It was about allowing myself to accept help, to let others take care of me, Zilla, and India. And maybe, just maybe, I needed to start doing that more.

I nodded, though I wasn't sure if I believed it yet. I was still processing everything, still trying to make sense of my thoughts.

I looked back at April, her face soft with love as she gazed down at India. "I get it," I said, my voice quieter. "I know you're trying to help. I just... I don't want to rush. I don't want to make decisions I'm not ready for."

April met my eyes and for a brief moment, I saw the understanding there. She didn't push. She just smiled and gently rocked India, as if saying she would be patient with me.

"Take your time, Kayla," April said softly. "We're not going anywhere. Whenever you're ready, we'll make it happen. But I do think it's something to think about."

I nodded again, feeling a little more at ease. Maybe I didn't have to have all the answers right now. Maybe it was okay to let things unfold. One step at a time.