Why...why am I always feeling this way. Why did I have to loose my best friend. Why did my dad leave me. Why was I never good enough. Why am I ugly. Why does everybody hate me. What did I do? Did I do something in my past life to make me feel this way? Was I never good enough to be accepted by this world? I might smile and act fine, but I feel as if thousands and thousands of little pieces of glass are being shattered in each and every joint, and crease of my body, just for entertainment. Do all people like to watch me suffer? Should I just throw my life in the trash, because it seems like I should. I know you might not care about me...but what makes people think it's ok to make anyone feel this way. I can't handle life anymore. I want to be a free spirit with my beat friend. I want to see Tessa again. I miss her so much. Whatever happened to the family nights? Whatever happened to my dad and I laughing together? Why? I miss you Tessa.....I miss you dad.....why did you have to do drugs? Why did you leave mom? Was I not good enough for you? Did I not satisfy you enough? I have questions. And none of them will be answered. Why was I created this way? Why did I choose to go through this pain? Why does everyone leave me? Why am I used till satisfied, and I'm thrown away like a piece of garbage? Tessa, I can't wait to see you.....I miss you....I miss holding hands when a scary part of a movie would pop up....I miss laughing....I miss jumping, and screaming on the trampoline....why did I have to loose someone as perfect as you? Why did you go? Why couldn't you just stay for one more day? Why...why you? You were perfect...you were sweet and kind, and you never made fun of me...I miss pranking your brother together...now when I do it alone, I break down into pieces. Tessa, why? Why did you leave? I miss you so fucking much. I miss my dad. I miss everyone. Whatever happened to my normal life? Why am I in this world, just to be treated like I'm fucking trash. Am I not pretty enough? Is maybe because I'm different? Why the fuck do I have to go through all of this? Dad...I miss hanging out with you...I miss going to work with you.....I miss the times we had together. I wish I could be like my friends, talking about what we did with our fathers for the weekend. I wish I had something. Mom, I love you...I know you hate me, and everything I do, but I love you so much. You are everything to me, and so is my sister. But why? Why can't I just be a normal girl with a normal life? Is it that fucking hard? Why do I have to shed tears every single fucking day? Why?

Sorry guys, I had a breakdown, and I had to let my emotions spill