2020 A/N., Aw we're already halfway through x)

Dedication to ReenaRamsaroop for being one of my BESTEST supporter ever. I love you girl and you look soooo pretty 😍😍😘😘

Unlike the last chapter, this chapter has some open CUSSING. Read with an open mind but I promise you, it's needed here. Because everyone swears (mild or hardcore) during arguments so yeah..

15
Heartbreak

<unedited>

I was an open minded person. I never got or had gotten jealous when girls flocked around the handsome Jeremy. Because I knew I was what was in his heart. It was a fact that Ayisha and Jeremy involve more skinship than me and him and it had never bothered me. Not even once. Because seriously, they were best friends too.

But do male best friends pin their female best friends on a wall while the said female friends have their hands around the former's neck? Is that a best friend gesture that I wasn't aware of?

I thought of walking forward but my legs halted when I heard what they were talking about.

"She is an absolute prude," Jeremy said as he buried his face in the crook of Ayisha's neck.

"I've been pointing that out for years now, Danuj," Ayisha said and laughed out loud, "Did you see how she squirmed and backed off every time you made a move?"

Were they talking about me?

Jeremy scoffed.

"I effing wanted to pull her and do things. Seriously, what can she do? She's just a spineless bitch who calls me 'Jeremy' in that annoying happy and squeaky voice of hers. I'm the good guy in her eyes, I'm Jeremy, her Prince Charming who gives his girl, space. God, how can someone be that naive?"

'Uthra. Stop crying. We can call the rabbit 'Gonzales' but you can call me 'Jeremy.''

'You look like a tomato.'

'Shut up.'

'Pet.'

'Jeremy.'

I felt sick. Did he just use the f word twice in a sentence? Did he just call me with the b word that's used to offensively call a female dog?

"Why need her when I'm here?" Ayisha purred and they did something that made me want to throw up my dinner.

I have never seen someone kiss before. Even in the movies, I would lower my head when the leads start looking at each other with googly eyes until they're done with their business. But this time, even though I was seeing it live and not on screen, I couldn't turn my head.

'This girl's very mean! Why are you even friends with her? Ayisha, my foot.'

'Uthra, I think... I may like you.'

'Uthra, Gonzales... died. Can I hold your hand?'

'Wow, school first in the boards?! My girlfriend is a G-E-N-I-U-S.'

'Will you marry me if I ask you now? Haha just kidding, look at your face!'

'Why go to another school for eleventh grade? I'll miss you...'

'I love you.'

My hands raised up to touch the warm liquid flowing down my cheeks.

Why?

My knees felt weak and it was like someone was mercilessly groping my heart.

Why?

And before I knew, I retched so hard and a second later, my dinner was decorating the ground in a very disgusting image.

"U- Uthra?"

Jeremy- Danuj's face had gone pale and he looked shocked beyond belief. Ayisha on the other hand had the same bored expression on her face.

'Wow Jeremy, you don't even get afraid of the Principal...'

'Jeremy, how can you go and confess that you broke his nose this fearlessly? You'll get expelled, idiot!'

'Jeremy, just try to act a little scared even once, will ya?'

The Danuj I knew was always brave, fearless, someone who would look you in the eye even if he was the one who did the wrong deed.

But the Danuj in front of me looked scared, guilty... he wasn't even looking me in the eye.

"Why..?" I whispered finally.

Ayisha rolled her eyes.

"You calling her spineless was a fact, I guess."

"Shut the hell up, Ayisha!" I growled and I was taken aback by how menacing I sounded, "I wasn't talking to you."

Danuj's hands were virtually shaking and he looked at me with something close to fear. But suddenly as if a switch was flipped on, his lips slowly curled into a deadly smirk and his face slowly got its colour back.

"Because you're a prude, Uthra."

When did being modest become prudish?

A sudden anger surfed through me and I straightened to my full height. I can't show weakness in front of these betraying foxes.

"Look, Danuj," I said fiercely, "Just because I reject your inappropriate gestures and just because I won't eat your face like how she did doesn't mean I'm prudish. If you can't understand it, know this. The engagement is off."

Danuj let out an inhumane laugh and sneered.

"My dear Uthra, engagement was discreetly called off the day daddy went bankrupt. You didn't know? Oh my, guess daddy didn't want his baby to get her tiny heart crushed. Poor poor, little Uthra."

How can someone change this disgusting in a span of a few months?

Ayisha cackled like a hyena beside him and I clenched my fists.

Was he even the guy I grew up with? Was it all a lie?

"My father engaged me to you because of your company. You were richer than us. But why marry when you are potentially a beggar now? Well I really used to like you y'know. But let's say that I like willing girls. But I still have a soft spot for you and I may even help you if you mind ente-"

I punched him.

A sickening crunch filled the night as Danuj howled back in pain.

I didn't even bother to look at Ayisha as I punched his face again.

"Entertain you? You're just seventeen. Maybe this immoral here would kiss your feet but I'd be more than willing to kill you. Who do you think I am, Jeremy? Still the girl who cried for not calling a rabbit with a nickname? You changed and so did I.

"Show your pathetic face to me ever again and I can assure you that you won't be able to see daylight again," I said and started walking.

But I was painfully yanked back by my hair.

"You think I'd let you go after you punched me?" Danuj spat.

I heaved an exasperated sigh as I gripped his hands and peeled his fingers off my hair. Did this senseless boy forget that I excel in martial arts?

It was tough minding that he was a strong guy himself, but the anger in my veins powered the already strong me.

His other hand shot up but before it could hit me, I dodged. I kneed him where it hurts the most.

Danuj howled in pain, as he doubled, clutching his groin. It clenched my heart to see my best friend like that but I remembered the betrayal and without my permission, my leg kicked in the side of his stomach. He fell down and I let out my final rage with a kick on his stomach. Again.

He groaned in pain and I turned to Ayisha, who backed off.

I returned back to Danuj and brushing off my inner conscience which was urging me to go nurse the traitor's wounds, I gave him a smirk.

"Don't show your pathetic face to me again."

With that I turned on my heels and stalked out of the alleyway. In my peripheral vision, I could see Ayisha scramble off without helping the pathetic scoundrel.

What if he's in so much pain that he passes out?

Maybe I can go back and just check on hi-

NO!

I marched with my head high but after crossing a block, the anger in me drained and the agony took the main seat.

I stumbled down on the pavement, heaving hard. Yeah, I acted all high and mighty there but to be honest, my insides were screaming in pain.

I had known Danuj since I was seven and Ayisha since I was eleven. They... were my best friends. My family wasn't exactly close with my relatives since their marriage was conducted against their parents' wish. So after my family, I only had them. How could they do this to me? I love- loved them and I thought they reciprocated the feelings. How can all the times, all the laughs, all the jokes be fake? How can the warm, sweet guy whom I loved be a lie? How did I never found out that inside that sweet, caring facade was a cheap, vicious creature?

I sighed.

My footsteps were sluggish and I kept stumbling. I don't think I can walk to my dorm in this state.

Luckily, there were a few auto-rickshaws there and I hailed one. And my bad, the cellphone was still with him. I guess uncle has to deal with it after all.

I told him my destination and leaned my head on the window as if it weighed a thousand pounds.

"You okay, kid?" The driver asked, his eyes seemed worried as it gazed via the rearview mirror.

I smiled weakly. "The dinner I ate makes me queasy."

He nodded and started rambling about how all the eateries from roadside stalls to big hotels use things that are bad for health just to increase taste. I blocked it out but kept nodding and humming occasionally to imply that I was listening.

When we reached the gates of the dorm, I paid the driver the fare and dragged my feet along the well lit corridors to my room.

All I wanted right now was to sleep. To just get lost in oblivion.

I walked in without knocking. Rohan was studying Chemistry.

"You're late," he remarked as he glanced from his book.

I did not reply as I went and sat on my bed.

"Did you eat dinner?"

I did not look at him and bent my head further. I was afraid to even open my mouth since I knew I was on the verge of breaking down.

I heard Rohan get up from his seat and a few seconds later, two feet came into my vision.

"Hey, are you alright?" Rohan asked, placing his hands on either side of my shoulders.

"You... look pale, buddy. What happened?" His voice was soft and there was real concern colouring it.

I looked up to drown into two obsidian orbs which were filled with worry to the core.

"Rohan," I said but all that came out was a broken breath and that's when I started crying.

Embarrassing, I know. But that's what I did. I cried. As if there was no tomorrow.

"He-y, buddy..?" Rohan breathed out, "what happened?"

I did not take away my hands which were covering my face and continued crying harder.

How long have I known this guy? Six months? And he was worried about me. How long have I known them? Six to ten years? Yet they are the cause for these tears.

Suddenly I felt two big hands embrace me awkwardly.

Rohan patted my back with even more awkwardness.

"My mother always does this to me when I'm upset," he explained.

I didn't reply as I snuggled into his arms.

This wasn't anywhere near manliness. Heck this wasn't even boyish. But screw it. I can't pretend anymore.

"You know, I'm always here, Uthra. I can lend you a shoulder to cry on. Or if you want to talk, I'm all ears. Just trust me, okay?"

I nodded. How did his father ever think he was rude, moody and a delinquent? How can he-

My internal speech was interrupted by Rohan's chest vibrating. I looked up to find him chuckling.

"God, that was so corny, wasn't it?" He laughed and I couldn't help but give a chuckle.

Can I love this guy any higher?

We laughed a bit but soon my forlorn mood came back.

"What happened, Uthra? Did the boy and girl you were with in the food court do something?" Rohan whispered.

I was hundred, multiplied by infinite times sure that I was going to regret this decision. But I wanted to let this out of my chest and Rohan deserved to know the truth. After all, I was planning to tell him that in the future. So what's the loss anyway?

I motioned Rohan to come sit by my side. He came and sat but his right arm was still around my shoulders in a protective gesture. Seriously, what did I do to gain this amazing boy's friendship?

"Do you remember the time when we played 'I've never'?" I asked, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah... kinda," Rohan sounded unsure.

"Do you remember how I was in love with a Jeremy?"

"Yes, Jeremiah... Alice, right?"

I laughed sounding downright humourless.

"Right," I agreed sarcastically. "Well... today I saw with my very own eyes how the love of my life cheated on me with my bestest friend. The funny thing about that is? I loved them both while they were just... there."

"Uthra-"

"Don't interrupt, Rohan. Otherwise I would never get the guts to tell this ever again. You deserve to know this y'know..."

"Okay..." he whispered.

I took a deep breath.

Well, here goes nothing.

"Do you know how I joined here midyear? Well, my father had a construction company. It was successful and I was filthy rich. Long story short... because of some rival company's foul playing and my father's pride, my father lost his ultimate contract as well as his money. We went bankrupt. We had no where to go.

"This school's owner, Vimal uncle is my father's best buddy. He offered to help but my father turned it down because... you know, pride and all. So uncle proposed a deal, a very strange one. I should join his school and become his partner's moody son's friend while my family would end up with a well off life. And I accepted it. Well I had to.

"But after coming here, I found that this moody boy wasn't anything like what they had portrayed. In fact, he has the most beautiful hearts I've ever seen and what started as a mere mission, turned real. He became my bestest friend ever and I love him."

At the part where I mentioned the deal, Rohan's hands froze but giving my all at the hope that he wasn't judgemental, I continued.

God, please help me.

"But the strange part of the deal was that, I had to disguise. This is an all boys school and if I want to gain his trust, the easiest way was to be his roommate. But- but how can I be his roommate when I'm a" -I laughed weakly- "girl..?"

And there, I said it.

Let the storm begin.

************************************

This chapter mega sucks. SORRY T_T I tried to write it many times but this is how it ended :(

Song attached - Why not me by Enrique Iglesias

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