Dedication to Rolling_in_the_Dice for the awesome cover :D They totally rock. If you want a cover, ask them! (You don't even have to wait that long. Yay!)

Warning: I totally suck at writing fight scenes. Forgive your dear little Kavya for that.

16
Crushed hearts and storms

<unedited>

"Ha ha, very funny bud," Rohan said, his voice shaky, "you totally got me for a moment."

"Rohan, do I look like I'm kidding?" I whispered.

Rohan tried to smile at me, but it came out as a grimace.

"Who pranked you?" he asked again.

"Come out, guys," he called out and I looked helplessly at him.

"You got me. You win," Rohan said and laughed.

It was high pitched and artificial.

God...

"Rohan?" I called in my voice. My real voice, yeah, the feminine one and he visibly cringed at it.

"What did you say..?" Rohan's voice sounded so weak and the sight of his face crushed my heart.

I'm so stupid. Stupid, Uthra. Stupid, stupid, Uthra!

I took a breath and started from the beginning but Rohan interrupted me.

"No, I get that. What were you-" he stopped a took a deep breath "-what did you mean by... disguise?"

"I'm a girl, Rohan," I stated. Black met black but those black eyes weren't the eyes I loved. They were just black dots.

Slowly, Rohan's eyes dropped down. Then they looked up at me and then down. Then up, then down. He did it for at least five times.

"So, you lied." It wasn't a question. Just a statement.

"Yes."

"This was all pre-planned?"

"No-" I started but he interrupted me by raising his hand, palm facing me and the words died in my mouth just like that.

"I wasn't asking for an explanation," his voice was deadly cold, "yes or no?"

Rohan's not judgmental.

Guess, he is.

"Yes."

Why is it suddenly cold?

Why am I shivering?

I waited for him to tell something. One minute. Two minutes. Ten minutes... Nothing came out.

"Hrithik anna knows," I whispered it as if that was going to save me.

But my hope crumbled when I saw the hurt and disgust in his eyes.

"Hrithik knows," he said through gritted teeth, "That freaking bastard knows and I don't?! Wow, this is what friendship is?"

"Rohan, I told him because I had to! Not because I wanted to. If I hadn't told you this now, you wouldn't even know that I'm a damn girl!"

"Oh, what a sacrifice," he said sarcastically. "When did you two become that buddy-buddy?"

I sighed. God, I'm tired.

"Why do you hate him so much?" I whispered.

"Why do you care?" he barked and I scowled.

What was Rohan's problem? Where is the kind guy I knew?

"Maybe because he cared back for me unlike a certain someone?" I yelled and then remembered that we were in the dorm and lowered my voice.

"Oh, so now I'm the bad guy? I don't care? Right."

Rohan sounded so bitter but his face held zero emotion. The stoic mask was back on. But this time, it was impenetrable.

"Why are you taking it the bad way? Hrithik anna isn't the problem here. Why are we fighting about him? Roha-"

"Don't you dare say my name," Rohan, for the first time since the fight started, whispered.

My voice died and I looked at him, eyes wide and all.

"Wha-what?"

"Don't you dare see my face again."

And with that, he was gone.

Not even the sound of footsteps, the sound a door slamming, the sound of Rohit asking Rohan what the hell was going on, pulled me from my state of mind as I stared into nothingness, my eyes still wide and burning.

Don't you dare see me again.

Why? Why are you so sad, Uthra? This was bound to happen one day or other. You were prepared remember?

I was prepared.

But it didn't hurt any less.

*

*

*

One day later.

Rohan transferred his bed and things to Rohit's room. So yeah, some of his things were still there. But... he has officially moved out.

Two days later.

With the tray in my hand, my legs automatically took me to our table in the mess hall. But when Rohan saw me, he took his and left.

I ate in the playground. All alone.

Three days later.

Maybe sitting beside me felt like floating near the sun for Rohan. Because he switched seats with Ryan.

Four days later.

Hrithik anna came to our- my room and asked 'What the eff was going on.'

I told him everything. But instead of helping me, he confused me further.

He said, "Did you see, Uthra? You were only angry at your fiancé when you came to know about him cheating you. But look at you, it's been only a few days since Rohan stopped talking to you and you look like a complete mess. I wonder who you actually love."

At his words, I had only starred back at him until he ruffled my hair and was gone.

Maybe Hrithik anna was right. Maybe it was Rohan I was in love with.

Five days later.

Rohan changed his usual dinner timing. We used to be one of the firsts to enter the dinner hall but he started coming really late to, obviously, avoid me. But the food was over by then, according to Hrithik anna. I wanted him to eat well. So I did the natural thing.

I stopped going to the mess hall.

Six days later.

I hadn't seen Rohan other than at school. And that too, only his back. I missed his black eyes. I wanted to melt in those obsidian oceans like before but I guess, it was too much to ask.

Seven days later.

My throat felt scratchy and my voice came out hoarse even without trying. Guess, I caught a cold.

Eight days later.

It hurt so much to wake up daily beside a barren bed. Rohan and I didn't make any crazy memories in this room. But still, the simple memories of him and me doing homework together, talking as we laid on our respective beds in the dark, waking him with a bucket of water too often and the small silly chuckles we shared with the momentary lame jokes, was too much.

It still hurt.

I wondered why I hadn't transferred schools since the reason I stayed back was pushing me away.

Nine days later.

I felt tired. I haven't really slept well and the cold wasn't doing me much good. I kept coughing today at school.

But at the end of the day, when we were all leaving, Rohan's eyes met mine.

It was stoic. I couldn't read anything in it unlike how I could read him in the past when we were practically strangers.

But... I was happy. At least I got to see his eyes after so long.

Today.

I fainted in class.

Maybe it was the cold or my empty stomach that caused me to faint, but I fainted nonetheless. And even though I regained my consciousness the next moment, the teacher asked me to take rest since I, if I exactly quote him, look like the ugliest zombie ever.

And I bet hearing his words you figured out who the teacher was. Yep, you guessed it right. It was Snape's doppelganger.

So Ryan being the awesome class rep, went to the office, got me a permission slip and offered to help me to my room.

I declined.

Taking the slip in my hand, I thanked Ryan and staggered towards our dorm, which was unfortunately far away from my classroom.

I just hoped Snape's doppelganger didn't report this to Uncle.

When I reached my room, the sight of the bed felt like heaven on earth.

Giving a watery smile, I fell face forward onto the bed, with the shoes still on.

Let me remove it after a good day's sleep.

*

*

*

I stirred in my sleep by something warm brushing my forehead.

Amma?

Nope, it's not possible.

I tried falling back into sleep but a creepy sense of someone watching me made me to unwillingly open my eyes.

It was blurry.

It was so blurry that all I could see was two foggy black drops but those were two beautiful eyes I would recognise anywhere, blurry vision or not. Heck, I'd recognise them even if I was blind!

I blinked once. It was still blurry.

I blinked again and this time, Rohan's not-so-beautiful-yet-beautiful-to-me face came into my vision.

He smiled at me.

He smiled at me.

He smiled at me?

HOLY GRILLED CAPRESE NAAN PIZZA WITH EXTRA CHEESE! DID ROHAN CHAKRAVATHY JUST SMILE AT ME?!

Guess I died of severe cold and starvation.

Maybe this is heaven. Oh right, maybe that's why everything is foggy.

Wow, heaven offers these kind of stuff? Thank you God, who took this sinful creature to heaven and showed her an awesome Rohan hologram.

Hologram Rohan chuckled.

God, it even sounds like the original one.

"Uthra, this isn't heaven and I'm not a hologram," Rohan's trademark deep, yet mellow voice said and I frowned.

Can holograms talk? Let alone read my mind. Maybe heaven holograms are hybrids. Or mayb—

"OW!" I shouted rubbing my forehead.

The pain subdued after five seconds or something like that and though my forehead has been flicked countless times by a certain someone, it still hurt. But that's when I noticed the familiar roof and the familiar things.

Oh... so I was still here. So why—why the hell was he (you know, someone-who-shall-not-be-named) here?!

"Because I was worried," Rohan said and I frowned.

"When did you start reading minds?" I asked suspiciously but then, I mentally face palmed.

Seriously, Uthra? You talk to him after 10 days and this is what you can ask? Wow, I'm ashamed to tell that you are me.

Rohan gave his infamous chuckle and I couldn't help but melt a little.

Ew, love-struck Uthra is gross.

"What are you chuckling at?" I barked, annoyed but then when I saw the mischievous grin on his face, it struck me.

"Oh my god, did I say that all out loud?!"

Rohan burst out laughing. "Ding, ding, ding. Hundred points to Gryffindor!"

I rolled my eyes.

Rohan's laughter subdued and he stretched his hands towards me. I looked up, to look at those black eyes and boy, the longing washed over me like a freaking tsunami.

How I missed looking at these eyes. How I missed those familiar glint in it.

And just by looking at them, I knew.

So I did the obvious thing to do. I placed my hands on his and he pulled me up from my bed.

Once I was in a sitting position, though I didn't want to let go of his hands, I dropped them. It was just too weird, you know.

Rohan came and sat near me, a good one feet between us but it wasn't nothing new. He always maintained his space.

We were both silent and I didn't know what was going on his mind. The atmosphere in the room wasn't palpable tension yet it wasn't glistening sun and sparkles. It was just... the kind of silence that was waiting to be filled.

Okay.

Time to fill it.

"So..." I started, "you came back."

"Yes."

"Just like that?" I asked glancing back at him but his eyes were trained on the wall in front of us.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't stay back."

"Right."

And once again the silence stretched.

"I talked to Hrithik."

"Okay..." I didn't know how else to reply.

"And... we talked."

"Well, no shit, Sherlock," I muttered sarcastically and Rohan laughed lightly.

"You must be thinking that I'm a first-class douche."

"Nah," I said shrugging. I felt Rohan glance at me and a cheeky grin grew up on my face, "I think that you're a platinum-class douche."

This time Rohan burst out laughing. "Glad you're still the same."

I shrugged again. And, the silence was back.

"I want to punch you, you know," I said suddenly.

Rohan chuckled and bore his chest a little towards me.

"Go ahead—" I raised my arm "—but I'll punch you back."

"Ahem, okay," I said and dropped my hand and this time Rohan doubled over laughing.

"Jeez Uthra, I was joking. Look at your face, idiot!"

I didn't reply as I kept staring at the wall.

It was nice to talk like nothing changed but I seriously needed some kind of closure. I needed explanation.

And guess Rohan understood that. Because I heard him take a deep breath.

"So like I was saying," he started, "I talked to Hrithik. It was absolutely rude of me to tell such..." — Rohan winced — "rude things to you especially when you trusted me enough to tell such a huge secret."

"Yeah, it was," I accepted and Rohan's face fell, "but, it's alright. It was the most natural reaction anyway."

I smiled at him and he gave back a watery smile.

"When I heard you say... stuff, I felt overwhelmed, even frustrated. It felt like I was suffocating and at that moment all I wanted was to escape it. So I did just that. I moved out."

I nodded and gestured him to continue.

"At first I was angry. Then bitter. Then confused. Then... then guilty. Then ashamed. I didn't know how I could come and just talk to you after all those days. But I sucked it all up cause I wanted back my best friend. So... here I am.

"And Hrithik told that you'll be... leaving after this year and there isn't much time. And I—heck, I just want my time with you to be well spent instead of in a stupid fight. Okay, yeah, it was for your family that you came here. But you stayed here for me. Now it's my turn to make up to you. And I'll start that by accepting you for who you actually are."

I looked at him and Rohan looked so... vulnerable and scared. And I knew what my reaction was.

"Your best friend never went away for you to get her back."

Rohan laughed in disbelief. "You didn't just insinuate—"

"I just did."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Are we quoting TFiOS?"

"Maybe."

"Okay."

"Okay."

We still had so much to talk through but at that moment, as I sat beside Rohan in comfortable silence, only one thing was in my mind. A quote by Kasie West.

Because you know everything is going to be okay. This is like the calm after the storm. Everything has settled, and even though it left destruction in its wake, you know the worst is over.

***********************************

Don't even get me start on how... filler-ish this chapter is :(

Okay, so maybe people would think that Uthra was too lenient on Rohan after his behaviour but hey, have you seen guys? They'd fight, punch, blood will spatter, they'll swear that the other's death is from their hands and a minute goes by, they'll do this man hug and handshake thing and ta-da, friendship is restored.

So instead of a drama queen girl reaction, I opted for this ending xD

Song attached: Last Kiss by Taylor Swift (This song always makes me want to write a book along it's lines O.o)

VOTE. COMMENT. SHARE. LOVE.

With love,
Kai.