Chapter 37

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Warning. This chapter contains heavy angst with fluff. But more to that, it includes violence, abuse and major self destructive behaviour. Read with caution!!!!

Also 7.5k wordcount- holy FuC-

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The odd leather scent that mixed with a hint of cheap citrus and ink bothered Taehyung's nostrils.

It wasn't really calming... his nerves were on fire as he looked up at the blinding light hanging from the dark dirty-ish ceiling.

Maybe it had to something with the punk aesthetic... Taehyung didnt know, but yeah... the lady with pierced nose bridge, eyebrow, lip, ears (ofcourse) and places Taehyung wouldn't like to be caught absent mindedly staring- was figuratively boring holes in his head.

Not literally cause she did have a driller-looking-like-gun in her hand... and saying, literally boring holes in his head sounded something that would come out of Texas Chainsaw.

Anyway, the lady looked pale with a constant resting bitch face. She had few parts of her raven hair dyed white, like Anna from Frozen but she didnt give the diddly-dallying-Anna vibe... she seemed straight up badass with the tattoos upto her neck and honestly- Taehyung felt his throat run dry (not in the kind of way when your favourite celebrity strips for you, kind of throat running dry, but you get it...) when she walked out of a room. Truth be told, Taehyung felt a little more scared now... maybe he still had time to change his mind.

"Dont worry, I dont bite" the lady said rolling her eyes in an amused way.

Taehyung cleared his throat and looked away, his cheeks beating with embarrassment.

This was a bad idea.

"By your looks, I'm guessing it's your first time.." the tattoo artist chuckled "dont worry sweetie, it will sting for a bit, not take a chunk outta your arm"

Taehyung smiled feverishly "that's very reassuring Maam..."

"What are you? British? Call me Jiwoo" Jiwoo snickered.

"So... about the tattoo... you have anything specific?" She asked.

"Um.. actually... I do... but I'm not sure of it." Taehyung licked his lips as his eyes fixed to the ceiling "actually... I'm feeling guilty- like I'm stealing something that doesnt belong to me... y'know like its personal to somebody else, but I'm just taking it away and making it mine- oh sorry.. I'm rambling." Taehyung chuckled awkwardly "I'm just super nervous"

"Its fine to be nervous on first times... I've seen worse scenarios in here- so you're doing fine trust me. Just relax and stay calm. Dont move around a lot..." Jiwoo instructed as Taehyung took a deep breath.

Taking Taehyung's idea, the tattooing began. The needle went on pricking Taehyung's delicate skin and honestly Taehyung felt no shame in shedding tears- cause excuse you, but it was his skin being pricked.

Jiwoo did say she had seen worse, so a bit of tears shouldnt be anywhere near that.

After a delicate and precise process of inking his skin below his ribs, right above his abdomen on his left, Taehyung let out a shiver of breath.

"Dont put any body creams and dont apply soap directly to it. Wash with water and wipe with a clean towel. I've put some bandages, to avoid skin breakage, or bacterial infestation but honestly- its mostly like a placebo to not freak you out.." Jiwoo mumbled as she kept the equipment aside as Taehyung slowly rose to sit upright on the leather lined mattress.

"If any complications arise- go to a hospital cause I'm no doctor" Jiwoo said moving her eyebrows suggestively.

Taehyung simply smiled behind the facade of stinging pain.

He's never getting a tattoo again.

"Thanks.." Taehyung muttered as he put his shirt back on.

Jiwoo shrugged "oh and... ofcourse, if you ever think of wanting another tattoo... you know the place" she grinned tilting her head.

Taehyung chuckled as he rubbed his nape awkwardly "you betcha' "

Paying the amount near a counter, Taehyung slipped his wallet into his pockets and walked out of the room, his eyes immediately landing on the void in the lounge.

And by the void he meant a figure huddled up in a black jacket, Jeans, boots, bucket hat and mask.

Yep. The Void. But to be honest, it suited the aesthetic of the tattoo parlour.

"Let's go" Taehyung muttered as he stood infront of the figure, who looked up at him.

"Finshed already?" Jungkook asked as he rose to Taehyung's height.

"Yep. And it hurts like a bitch..." Taehyung grit his teeth.

Jungkook chuckled under the mask, his eyes crinkling as they walked out of the parlour.

"Beauty comes with a price" Jungkook muttered cockily as Taehyung rolled his eyes hearing the statement.

"If I'd known it hurt this bad I'd have opted for the cheap-stick-on tattoos that comes with cereal boxes" Taehyung huffed as Jungkook unlocked the car.

The raventte removed his mask, his lips plastered with a small smirk as he watched Taehying buckle his seat belt, cussing to himself.

"What?" Taehyung scowled noticing the younger's gaze. "What are you looking at?"

"Aren't you gonna show me your tattoo?" Jungkook leaned on the window, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek with a prominent smirk etched on his face as he watched the other male with amusement.

"Why do I have to show it to you? I'm not gonna show it to you. Drive" Taehyung snapped, his neck and ears turning red from embarrassment.

"C'mon... I'm not gonna judge you..." Jungkook teased.

"No. Just drive..." Taehyung replied, looking outside his side of window.

"Did you tattoo your asscheek just like I asked? Is that why you're all shy?" Jungkook ran his tongue over his lips to hide his grin back.

"I did not tattoo my asscheek!! just drive Jeon!" Taehyung replied trying to sound stern but it all came out as a weak whine.

"Alrighty.. whatever you say... just know that when you get naked for me again, I'll have the glory to see it and you cant stop me..." Jungkook chuckled as he removed the hand break.

"I'm not getting naked for you... I'm cancelling you" Taehyung huffed, still not looking at Jungkook.

"Aw Prettae... are you sure about that? I could take you right here and now if I made up my mind..." Jungkook grinned as he licked his lips. "Car sex doesnt sound that bad if it's with you and honestly, we both know you cant resist me or my advances..."

Taehyung scoffed in return.

"Cocky much, are we?"

"Well... if Cocky adds up to my Cock and considering its size- well... I would say it's a lot more cocky than it seems"

Taehyung shot a glare at the male who drove with an innocent face but an amused stupid grin on his prefect pretty pink lips.

Goddamit.

Those HANDS.

Taehyung looked away from Jungkook and his absolute mental talent of holding the steering wheel with one hand.

"You make absolute no sense..." Taehyung scowled.

"I make enough sense to leave you sexually frustrated... " Jungkook smirked " and oh by the way- you can hold my hand if you want to.." he added not stopping with his attacks.

Taehyung groaned pressing his hands to his face "just spare me please"

Jungkook cackled evily, his smile reaching his eyes as the bubbly sweet sound of laughter left his lips.

Jungkook moved his hand from the gear at the red light in the traffic and slowly draped it across Taehyung's pulling his hand down.

He gripped Taehyung's slightly larger hand in his own and moved back to the gear shift along with it, so that Taehyung's hand stayed under his.

Jungkook pursed his lips as a soft smile danced on his lips. His heart running a mile in his chest.

"You dont have to ask to hold me..." Jungkook muttered looking ahead, but he could feel Taehyung's gaze on him.

"And about the tattoo..." Jungkook chuckled squeezing Taehyung's a bit "...its alright. You can show me when you want to. I'm good at waiting. I'm waiting for a lot of things anyway..."

"Like?" Taehyung quirked his brow up, regaining his composure.

"You." Jungkook replied without batting an eyelid, his gaze on the brown haired male.

"What?"

"This red light to turn green..." Jungkook added turning his attention ahead "I'm also waiting for Somi to accept I'm the favorite child, which is pretty obvious. And apart from that... your Yoongi Hyung to accept Hobi.. hmmm what else? I'm waiting for Joon Hyung throw an icecream party for my cheat day... and I.. uh I dont know, I'm waiting for tours... I'm waiting to see ARMY.." Jungkook shrugged.

Taehyung snorted, a smile on his lips.

"You're one weird kid"

"Yeah the same kid weird kid you thirst over" Jungkook replied as he put shifted the gear as the lights turned green.

"Again with that- god Jungkook..." Taehyung groaned while Jungkook simply snickered absorbing Taehyung's embarrassment for his entertainment.

"Promise me one thing... " Taehyung spoke up with a serious tone, as he side eyed him.

"Hm? What is it Prettae?"

Taehyung narrowed his eyes down at the raventte, nibbling his lower lip.

"When you show up tomorrow.... you're on my side okay? I swear to God- if you team up with Jimin I will cut your dick off" Taehyung said sternly.

Jungkook burst into laughter.

"Possessive I see... I likey.."

Taehyung groaned "you're even acting like Jimin... please... do not team up with him. I swear-"

Jungkook gently squeezed Taehyung's hand, his eyes sparkling fondly like little stars dancing around in those charcoal pools.

"I wont baby.. I'm forever on your side..."

*******

Fuck that shit.

Forever on your side, my ass... Taehyung thought to himself as he rolled his eyes for the nth time ever since the party started.

"And.. and you wont believe this..." Jimin cackled gaining his breath after laughing like a hyena on crack from the past five minutes.

"What?" Jungkook prompted, catching his breath.

"Taesexual! That's what it was!!" Jimin hunched over Jin and began laughing out loud again.

Jungkook's airy laughter burst out as he slapped his thighs trying to contain himself.

Taehyung watched helplessly sipping his coke from a fancy straw, accepting his fate.

Great.

His bestfriend and the spawn of satan (who he disagrees on calling a bestfriend at the moment) were having the time of their lives cracking jokes on his pathetic life.

Amaze balls.

"I'm standing right here. Have some shame" Taehyung clicked his tongue, gaining attention from the two for a split second before they started laughing right on his face.

"Fuck this shit I'm out" Taehyung turned on his heels and walked away, not being able to bare the embarrassment anymore.

It felt like you brought your colleagues home for the first time and your elderly mom brings out your childhood album and showing your colleagues pictures of you in your baby suit.

That's what this evening felt like and Taehyung was having none of the 'party-vibe' thanks to Jimin, who made it sure to embarrass the fuck outta him.

Even Jungkook betrayed him.

Taehyung scowled as he sipped his cola, trying to block out the laughter that erupted somewhere behind him near a huge bone fire.

The party wasnt anything extravagant... it was just a night in the presence of an open sky and under a small rented camping place, thanks to Jin who wanted to make the congratulatory party a little more memorable.

Yes, a congratulatory party.

Yoongi's congratulatory party.

Apparently, the submission of the track album project based on mixing two artists' styles did get him through to get the free ride to British Academy of Music, but that meant he was going abroad soon.

Taehyung was happy for Yoongi, for being able to achieve his dreams... although it made his stomach squeezy on knowing one of his favourite hyung's was leaving roughly in 5months.

But he was happy for the male.

The party wasnt that precise, it mostly seemed like a get together considering Yoongi's amount of friends- the headcount of the people who were invited was less.

The only outsiders invited apart from his 3roomies and his sister, were Namjoon (since he was Jin's boyfriend), Jungkook (cause Yoongi wanted Taehyung to get constant whiplashes- he was evil that way), Lee Sora (who was his music partner in Seoul), Hongjoong, Pdogg and Hoseok.

Taehyung didnt know when Yoonji and Jimin slipped in liquor to the angelic party, and Jimin turned shit faced drunk (he wasn't- but that was just Jimin and his natural self)

Lee Sora, Hongjoong and Pdogg left together from the venue as the clock showed 11pm but the rest of them stayed, drinking and having fun.

Well.. Taehyung didn't know what part of being embarrassed down to bone was 'fun' but... well.. you do you.

Wandering back to the centre with his cola (he could not risk being drunk with Jimin in the picture, while Jungkook's present) Taehyung sighed again.

New embarrassing story.... shocking really.

"Guys please stop... it's been two hours already. Can we start trolling another person? I'm being left out"

Namjoon chuckled louder at Taehyung's attempts.

"Sit Taehyung..." he spoke up with a soft smile.

The brown haired male huffed and sat on the log, eyeing Jin and Yoongi for help.

"Oh my God... I forgot to tell you this!" Jimin squeaked.

"Do you the story behind V?"

"Oh God- Jimin NO!" Taehyung roared with distress but nobody really paid attention accept for Yoongi, Namjoon and Hoseok who simply chuckled at him.

Jungkook eyed Taehyung for a bit, as he licked his lips recalling the night he got his first tattoo.

V stands for Victory. It means.. I'm wishing for a victory in your career.

Taehhung's words rung in his ears, as he smiled gently realizing that was the point where his heart started seeing Taehyung differently.

"V for victory? I know that...."  Jungkook replied.

"Ughhhh not that. Theres another one... the other backstory is a sexy one. He just used the 'V for Victory' as a coverup plan" Jimin snickered.

"Jimin!!!" Taehyung stomped towards the shorter male across him with his fists curled.

"Whoa whoa twinkie- calm thyself love" Jimin grinned, inching away to steady himself for his escapade, if in case Taehgung was gonna throw a punch.

"Twink? You twinkle fucking toes shut your ass up!" Taehyung barked, his hands strained infront of him to grab Jimin and beat some sense into him, but a pair of arms snaked around his waist and quickly pulled him down.

A round of 'ooh' started by Jimin and the rest of the chain echoed and Taehyung potentially hid himself in Jungkook's chest cause god fucking dammit- he was embarrassed.

And those of you troubling your minds wondering how Namjoon ended up knowing?  Well... say thanks to Jimin.

The spawn of Satan literally...deadass.. revealed their 'secret relationship' outloud (Sora, Hongjoong and Pdogg hadnt arrived yet at that time) when Namjoon raised a brow spotting the odd familiarity and closeness between Taehyung and Jungkook.

Seriously...

What a way to start a party with...

'Dont worry Hyung... it's nothing new. Jungkook's been putting his dick in Taehyung for month's now'

Bam!

Nothing can literally beat that. Or can it?

"Okay so, I hope you know- I was the school rebel and Taehyung was my second in command... and yeah we went around, did shit, fucked around.."

Taehyung swore he heard Jungkook whisper 'didnt need to know that' above him, but he decided to not comment.

"...detentions, suspended yada yada all the normal rebel behaviours. So I was Park and Taehyung was V... so initially, that's how V came into existence"

Taehyung groaned, his eyebrows furrowed as he mentally imagined strangling himself to death in a not-so-kinky-way.

Atleast Jungkook smelled nice...

And Taehyung shifted his attention to inhaling Jungkook's cologne as he laid his head on Jungkook's chest, his fingers numbly playing around Jungkook's that was clasped around his hand.

"...But then just as Taehyung, being our maknae at that time turned 19, we all decided to slip into a strip club"

Jungkook lightly snorted above Taehyung.

"Yeah.. we were young and dumb, wanting to have the taste of freedom..."

"And by freedom of that night, you mean of alcohol, drugs and sex?" Jin added with a slight snort as he shook his head and sipped on his beer.

"You went too?" Namjoon quirked, looking at Jin who put up an awkward sme.

"All the four of us boys went in young man.." Jimin replied and Namjoon stuttered a bit with the 'young man' part.

"Me, Taehyung, Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung... four horsemen of Egypt. Four horsemen of the movie Hangover. I'm sorry Jin hyung... but you gave so much Stu vibes back then. You are literally Stu- man you were so stuck up back then, I was surprised you didnt have a stick hanging below from your asscrack"

Jin scoffed loudly "excuseyou- but I was freaking out because I was the only legal adult and yall thrived on my ID. MY ID! While you were tryna flirt with the other guard despite being straight as a fucking pole- You have no idea of the sheer panic that's courses down you when a bulky looking bouncer looks at you like you smuggled a nuclear bomb. I swear to fucking God-"

Everyone erupted into laughter listening to Jin's trauma.

"Anyway... so we didnt know it was strip club, but when we walked it oh God- I think that's where I unlocked my sexually inclined fantasies." Jimin rambled shamelessly.

Yeah.. shamelessly, because Jimin had no shame whatsoever.

"You unlocked your sexually inclined fantasies in highschool when you fucked Kira from History class in a janitor's room!" Taehyung snapped in.

"Wait. You fucked Kira?!" Yoonji stepped up, disgusted "god Jimin- and when I tell you not to fuck that bitch oh my god. I am disgusted on a thousand levels"

"Hey dont blame me- you were the one who had beef with her.." Jimin shrugged as he took a gulp of his beer.

"I had beef with her, because when I finally decided to tone down a notch around the school whore, giving her my assignment to help her- SHE ENDED UP LOSING IT AT THE END!" Yoonji yelled with frusturation.

"I had to do my whole week's assignment in a single night. In. A. Single. Night. Jimin!!!"

"Oof.. okay didnt know that but oh well- but it's in the past now.. so..." Jimin chuckled nervously.

"Anyway... " Jimin continued "... so we entered the strip club and gosh- we were blown outta our minds. God- Taehyung's eyes were like saucers!"

Jungkook looked down at the male in his lap, who simply avoided his gaze.

He discreetly squeezed Taehyung's thigh, as the male jolted a bit.

"enjoyed a lot back then eh?" Jungkook whispered.

"Yeah.." Taehyung replied sarcastically rolling his eyes, not noticing that Jungkook was looking down at him with his tongue poking against his inner cheek- it's either the 'I'm hot, I know' look or 'you're so getting fucked tonight' look... just figure out which one Jungkook was portraying by yourself.

"So okay- amidst all the alcohol and dirty dancing and the strip show, Taehyung, my sweet dumbass bestfriend here- decides to act all sneaky and to loosen Yoongi hyung from his natural I-wanna-go-home state... he tries... I repeat tries to sneak ecstasy into Yoongi's drink"

"But Yoongi hyung... this fucker catches on early and the next moment, you know is that hyung had switched the drinks.." Jimin laughed while Yoongi snickered recalling the memory.

"And then.."

"Oh god no-" Taehyung pressed his hands to his eyes.

"... it's just Taehyung high on his own foolery with ecstasy. He slurred around, danced on tables, made out with strangers and the best... he literally- I swear to fucking God... he literally, stepped onto the stage with his shirt ripped, pushed the actual strippers away and strutted down the stage. He'd have been dragged away- but trust me, he probably looked more enticing than the actual strippers and dancers, that they let him do whatever on the stage. V.... That's what he called himself when the host asked for his name. That's how Stripper V blew up and honestly, everyone turned out to be Taehyung's bitch that night."

Everyone chuckled while Taehyung hid in shame. Namjoon was a little astonished but he soon melted into smiles. Hoseok cheered on to the younger male, while Jungkook was dealing with different problems on the inside by himself.

Stripped down?

Strutted on stage?

Stripper V?

And What- everyone turned out to be Taehyung's bitch that night?

Oh ho ho no.

Jeonlous at its finest.

Jungkook felt all hot and bothered and the fact that Taehyung's plump ass was preseed right against his crotch didnt help much. To push his thoughts away he squeezed Taehyung's thigh again, encasing the thickness in his palm.

Taehyung pinched Jungkook's arm in response and the raventte let go, huffing.

Taehyung was definitely getting it tonight.

"Damn only if Taehyung had given a lap dance to someone that night- God my life would have been complete..." Jimin chuckled.

"If that's the case, to be honest here.." Yoonji cut in, a deadly smirk on her face "..it doesnt have to be just on that night... Taehyung surely is sitting on someone's lap right now..."

All eyes switched to him and God- Taehyung wanted to bury a hole and lay there for all eternity.

"Oh my God Yoonji!" Taehyung yelled, scrambling out of Jungkook's hold- but to no avail. "I'm not gonna start a porno here"

"We just said a lap dance, but boy if you wanna get that freaky... I dont know what to say.." Jimin chided in.

"You all are hopeless! Shutup!" Taehyung yelled while Jungkook chuckled.

Great.

Just. Fucking. Great.

"Ya ya.. stop with the teasing... its enough now" Hoseok stepped in.

"See? Finally!! One decent human!" Taehyung smiled at the aforementioned.

"Why are you in his team?" Jungkook furrowed his brows.

"Because you're not in mine. You're supposed to be in mine- but yeah go off. Go team up with Jimin and gang up against me!" Taehyung scoffed.

"I'm always in your team baby" Jungkook blurted out and the mini crowd 'ooh'd' again.

While Jungkook blushed pink, Taehyung turned into a whole fucking tomato.

Awesome.

"Ugh yall- let's go eat the dessert." Taehyung mumbled as he set himself free from Jungkook's grasp and stood up.

"Your dessert's right there!" Yoonji chided, and Namjoon choked on his own saliva ending up in a fit of cough, while Jin patted his back with softly with concern filled eyes.

"Ohmygod... Jin hyung dont act like you didnt have sex with hyung already..." Jimin groaned, earning a sharp glare from the elder, while Namjoon just grinned through his coughs.

"What? What are you looking at me like that for? I am the only person who's not getting any action at all. Excuse you and your sexed up selves... but I am the lone ranger here. You have Namjoon. Tae's got Jungkook. Yoongi... well, atleast Hoseok's in line- no offense Hoseok and Yoonji.. well I dunno about Yoonji. Yoonji, you fucking around lately girl?"

Yoonji just rolled her eyes "I would call you an offspring of a fucking hyena, but then that would be a disgrace to auntie and uncle. You sir, you have the average intellectual of a snail."

Jimin just grinned in return earning a defeated sigh from almost everybody.

That's... that's Jimin for you.

The conversation shifted over the dessert, where Hoseok whipped out a highschool photo of Jungkook (who almost fought Hoseok over it) and boy- Taehyung was finally enjoying.

Ofcourse, he did embarrass himself again with a 'God Jungkook you look like a fetus here... if this were you today, I'd have fucked you instead...'

Yeah... not so pretty choice of words, since everyone laughed realizing that Taehyung exposed himself of the fact that he bottomed for Jungkook.

I mean... it surely was obvious for some part- but well, you never know... so hearing it come from Taehyung himself was spectacular, while Taehyung questioned his own life decisions.

Taehyung wasn't... really proud of it, with the bottoming part- since he was the alpha male all his life, but he wouldnt deny to his own self that he liked the way Jungkook filled him up so good.

And truth be told? Taehyung loved it. He loved every bit of it.

He wasnt attracted to another dick. Just Jungkook's dick... and if you take the author's word, I think that was beautiful.

They lazed around a bit, talking casually and Taehyung looked around, his eyes realizing a person was missing.

Hoseok.

His eyebrows furrowed, wondering where Hoseok had gone.

Standing up, the brown haired male venture back into the little cabin to find nobody there. He frowned a bit and looked around the area.

"Hey, Jin hyung, have you seen Hobi hyung?" Taehyung asked

"Yeah.. he went that way.." Jin pointed to a direction and Taehyung left, thanking his brother.

He walked for a minute or so until he spotted Hoseok seated on the ground.

They werent far away from the bonfire. Taehyung could still see Jimin dancing dancing around the others.

"Hey hyung?" Taehyung spoke up and his ears caught a quick sniffle.

"Hey..." Taehyung's mumbled softly as he crouched on the floor while his heart thudded in his chest.

"I'm alright..." Hoseok replied quickly.

Taehyung wasnt dumb.

Okay- maybe he was dumb towards his own feelings and emotions and all... but he wasnt dumb when it came to people (other than Jungkook obviously, otherwise we wouldnt have been on thirty fucking seventh chapter)

Taehyung observed Hoseok quietly the whole evening and he knew the older had a facade on.

It takes an actor to know an actor.

And Taehyung knew Hoseok was hurting within from the beginning.

Yeah.. Yoongi's achievement meant a lot of things for Yoongi- but to Hoseok, it was a goodbye. A permanent etch to his heart that the man he so dearly pursued for months was leaving.

Surely, it would seem pathetic for somebody else. 'You'll get over it'. 'There's plenty of other fish in the sea'. That's what it was to somebody else.

But Hoseok... Hoseok was a passionate man.

Surely he had his flings in and about... but some things... rarely caught his eye. And Yoongi was that rare gem in his eyes.

"I'm alright Taehyung... go back.. seriously." Hoseok chuckled, his voice a little cracked.

"I'm not going anywhere Hyung. I'm so sorry that Yoongi hyung doesnt see you the same way... I thought it'd work out- but well.. I guess, some things never change..." Taehyung patted Hoseok's back.

Hoseok chuckled bitterly "so did I... so did I.. but I guess... that's what it is right now"

"I have my album.. Yoongi has his dream... it was my fault eitherways- I was the one who pursued him and pushed on, knowing that he didnt feel the same. I dont really blame him.."

Taehyung sighed "well... we can only hope for best for the two of you now. I know it's not easy to let go... but you gotta."

"I know... but I cant unlove him... its... it's just different. Although my feelings were unrequited, I still felt calm in his presence... I can't..  I just can't imagine to leave-"

"Then are you fucking stupid?!"

Hoseok winced, his eyes widening same as Taehyung's.

"Y-Yoongi." Hoseok mumbled turning around and there he was, his face fuming while Jin cautiously walked closer, catching onto the tension.

"Answer me!" Yoongi yelled again.

"Yoongi hyung-" Taehyung interrupted but the latter sent a sharp glare.

"Get out of this Taehyung. I swear to fucking God..." Yoongi snarled lowly.

Taehyung gulped as he stepped aside, his eyes catching onto the rest who were walking up towards them hearing the commotion.

Taehyung looked at Jin to help Yoongi calm down, but his older brother just watched Yoomgi with tear glazed eyes.

"Yoongi just listen to me. None of this matters. My feelings dont matter-" Hoseok began.

"How it's not supposed to matter when you fucking guilt trip me very fucking time of my fucking existence?!" Yoongi cut in, his eyes flaring at this point.

Hoseok's face morphed into disbelief as a nerve popped in his head. He scoffed "you're... you're feeling guilt tripped?"

Hoseok scoffed louder as he stepped forward, visibly mad "do you know why you feel guilt tripped? It's because you know, you're being a complete asshole to me but you dont want to accept it!"

Silence.

Taehyung swore he could hear his own heartbeat.

His heart rammed with fear as his brain short circuited watching Yoongi in his worst phase of his anger, Taehyung had never seen.

"Yes I am an asshole. I am a fucking asshole and guess what Jung Hoseok I dont fucking care. I dont care about this. I dont fucking care about you. I infact dont care about any body."

"Well good for you- cause you live upto that name!" Hoseok shot back. "You are right. You dont fucking care and I know that. Guess I was just too stupid afterall for falling in love with a self centered bastard who treats people like shit and gets offended when he gets called out for his narcissistic assholery!"

"Dont. Act. Like. You. Know. Me.." Yoongi growled lowly, his knuckles white from curling his fingers into a tighter fist.

"You're right. I dont know you." Hoseok retorted "I have no fucking idea who the fuck you are Yoongi cause you keep changing your faces. Sometimes you're mean, sometimes you're soft- y'know what... I have no idea what the fuck was I even thinking imagining you being in the same frame as me!" Hoseok took another step ahead, his tone gradually rising above an angry notch with each word "what are you afraid of Huh? WHAT ARE YOU SO FUCKING AFRAID OF THAT YOU CAN'T STAND ME ?! WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF MIN YOONGI? WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO LOVE?!"

"BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I LOVED SOMEONE I ALMOST ENDED UP KILLING MYSELF!" Yoongi yelled.

Taehyung didnt know when his tears started flowing down or when Jungkook slipped his hand in his, to hold him tight.

"DO YOU GET IT NOW? I AM AFRAID TO LOVE BECAUSE I ALMOST FUCKING DIED LAST TIME!"

Silence entered, the festive mood long gone.

Jimin held onto Jin's right arm, his vision blurry with tears as Yoonji stared at his brother, numb. And Jin watched his bestfriend crumble all over again over the memory that never faded from either of their minds.

The 1st of January. A new year, where Jin would have had to continue without his bestfriend for the rest of his life, if he hadn't reached on time.

A choked son erupted from Yoongi "Kihyun... Kihyun was m-my everything."

"I met him in elementary... and we immediately clicked. He.. he was adventurous and always... always so curious. And before we knew it, we fell in love." Yoongi paused, his gaze on the ground.

"I.. I had always imagined my future with him and it felt nice. With Kihyun by my side... I felt everything was alright. Besides music.. he was the only thing that kept me happy. We moved to highschool.. and that's where he changed"

"He changed for bad... he found new friends... bad friends... and before I knew it, he wasnt the same person anymore. It wasnt about dates and soft things anymore... it was more than that. Kihyun asked for more from me... and I gave all of myself cause I loved him"

Taehyung squeezed Jungkook's hand with tear stained cheeks, realizing Yoongi had given away himself from the pressure of his boyfriend.

"He kept changing... but I refused to see. Jin Hyung noticed it too and he begged me to leave before it was too late, but I was too blinded in love. And things kept getting worse and worse..."

"It went from sex... alcohol.. cigarettes... drugs... thieving.... attempt of murder... suicide." Yoongi paused his vision no longer clear from his own tears.

"I robbed people... I beated up homeless in the streets for fun because Kihyun loved watching it. I hurt people for his entertainment, but I was far too gone to realise... I did it because I started enjoying it. I started loving the taste of smoke and blood. I started enjoying seeing that wicked maniac smile on his face."

"But things flipped when Kihyun got involved with worser people. People from a gang. And with an unsettled argument- he accidently shot someone. He killed someone. He killed an innocent man, who had nothing to do with Kihyun, me or the gang. He killed a man who just wanted to return home to his family. He took away a life and suddenly... I started seeing he was no more the Kihyun I knew."

"My reflection wasnt me anymore. It was an unknown person staring deep into my soul and my shadow was just a looming figure of Kihyun following me."

"I had already drowned before I realised I was- and the sirens hit our street, and the next moment the police took Kihyun away."

"Decemeber 31st. It was cold and freezing and I felt an emptiness I couldnt comprehend. December 31st, was the day the police took him away, but he returned the same night with more blood on his clothes... and I knew... I knew he had taken more lives. He had turned into a monster. I had helped him to turn into a monster."

"And he knew too.. he knew that was the end of it. The cops were behind him and he knew he wouldnt ever walk out of a prison, if he were to be caught- and his fear ignited something in me to call Jin hyung over as fast possible."

"And I-I.. was right... it wasnt long before he brought out a rope and tied up a knot...  He said... he said that he loves m-me.. he said that he always loved me and it... would hurt him to see me with someone else... He said t-that.. he wanted to be with me for-forever... h.. he said that we'll live forever... if we d-died together."

"And I believed him."

Yoongi crumbled to the ground, his hands shivering as his lungs ignited, making his breaths harder.

Yoonji on the other hand bit on her arm to hold back her sobs as Namjoon offered his shoulder as he rubbed her back.

Taehyung gripped onto Jungkook for support witnessing the scene. His lungs on fire as he gasped for more air with his hands clutching Jungkook's arm to make sure this was reality.

Jimin was full on crying. He had teased Yoongi his entire life not knowing what he had gone through. What were his reasons to stay away from attachment.

Jin had his eyes closed, simply trying to escape the nightmare he had lived of walking into a room where a body was already hanging limp from the ceiling and the other, the one that belonged to his bestfriend kicking air above the ground.

A nightmare.

And Hoseok... Hoseok had it the worst.

The emotions that burst through him was incomparable. His heart ripping with pain of knowing Yoongi's truth. To know, Yoongi had something like this to go through his life. To know... Yoongi almost died. To know he would have never known him if he hadnt survived.

Hoseok was torn.

Yoongi rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, his voice completely cracked "if... if it wasnt for Jin hyung.... I wouldnt have ever made it alive..."

"So I distanced myself... I kept away from people who got attached to my heart. I ran away from love, because I feared I'd turn them into monsters. I kept running away... because I know- I know I cant survive again, if I'd lose my heart, if I'd have to watch somebody I love die. So that's why I'm running away... that's why I've been running away!" Yoongi looked up at Hoseok.

"And you... " Yoongi mumbled, his lips quivering "you are so.. so fucking stupid. So fucking stupid. I treated you like trash. I threw worst comments at you. I made you feel useless in hopes that you'd leave me alone for good. I hated you so much for softening me up again... I hate you so much.. I.. I hate you..." Yoongi burst into sobs, his eyes hidden away by his trembling fingers as his shoulders shook violently.

It was cold... so so cold for a moment... but then he felt warmth.

A warmth of gentleness. A warmth that was more serene than the glow of the sun. A warmth of love.

And it never left Yoongi. The hands around him embraced him tighter and Yoongi cried harder on Hoseok's chest.

"I hate you... I hate you so much for making me like this. I hate you so much for making me smile with your stupid... stupid jokes. I hate your stupid obsession with those stupid shoes.... I hate your stupid random noises.. I hate your stupid face. I hate you so fucking much for making me fall again.."

"Shhh" Hoseok whispered as he pet Yoongi's hair and rubbed the Male's back in soothing circles to calm him down. Hoseok's heart was skyrocketing but his first priority was to bring back Yoongi to his normal state.

"I'm sorry...." Yoongi whispered, as light as a feather. "I'm sorry for everything Hoseok... I dont deserve you..."

Hoseok gently squeezed the male in his arms and pulled apart to wipe off his tears with his thumb as he cupped his face.

"No... thankyou for telling me your truth. Thankyou, for trusting me..." Hoseok mumbled, a silver of smile dancing ok the edge of his lips.

"Thankyou for saving me... for making me believe again...thankyou for staying with me" Yoongi muttered with his croaked voice and eyes glistening with more tears as he leaned in to press his lips across Hoseok's.

It was soft and gentle, the kind that made Hoseok's heart beam and his stomach turn into a puddle of warmness.

Yoongi pulled away and wiped Hoseok's tears away just like the other did "I like you... a lot buttercup"

Hoseok smiled, leaning into Yoongi's hand.

And a loud wail broke out in the  background.

"Yoongi hyung~~~"

With an absolute mess of a tear stained face and snot running all over was Jimin.

He was crouched on the ground and his hair all in a mess. He continued wailing in process as everyone watched him.

"I.. I..ruined your moment.. didnt I? " he sobbed in the middle "I .. I'm so.. s-sorry.. but I just cant... stop crying. I'm so sorry..."

Yoongi chuckled lightly, rolling his eyes as Hoseok smiled fondly at the male.

"C'mere all of you..." Yoongi said out loud and it was enough for his 3roomies and his sister to rush towards him and topple him to the ground with a giant family hug.

Namjoon, Jungkook and Hoseok stayed apart to watch, with as oft smile on their features.

"I'm alive... and I will be here for a very long time so dont worry. I've been going for therapy for years now and my therapist has also said that I'm no longer in the dangers of going back to what I was. I am me right now and I'll always be here guys... the same Yoongi you had known." Yoongi mumbled petting two heads (he couldnt see who was who)

"God.. I'm so sorry..." Jimin muttered hiccuping a bit from crying too much.

Yoonji slapped her brother's thigh and the male yelped.

"That's for not telling your sister.."

And she slapped his thigh again.

"That's for telling me now."

Yoongi scowled but pulled her head in closer to embrace her in a hug.

"I'm sorry... I swear I'll never do anything like that again. I promise, love"

Yoonji sniffled as she tightly hugged her elder brother and let go of her.

"And I'm sorry, for yelling at you Tae..." Yoongi smiled apologetically at the said male who fought back tears.

"Promise me that you are gonna outlive your enemies.." Taehyung mumbled with a pout.

"What?"

"Promise me."

"Okay okay... I'll try to outlive all of my enemies... I promise" Yoongi chuckled at the younger's adorableness.

Yoongi's eyes drifted to Jungkook and Namjoon who stood closer and watched him with respect, and a fond smile on their lips.

Yoongi smiled at them and looked down at Jin whose eyes twinkled.

A sigh of relief, escaping his lips as he nodded his head with a knowing gesture.

And Yoongi smiled back.

Because he knew... they knew that they were finally free from that nightmare.

*********

Taehyung was in a daze as he watched cars zip past as Jungkook drove him back home.

Jimin and Yoonji were passed out in the passenger seat in the back and a mellow music played in the background.

Everything that happened an hour before... had shook all of them to their core.

But there was a sense of relief.

Yoongi was okay.

Everything's alright, for now.

"Do you want to get a slurpee?" Jungkook asked.

"Its 1am?" Taehyung quirked up, turning his attention to the male.

"McDonald's open..." Jungkokk muttered softly so that he wouldnt wake up the two in the back.

"Okay.." Taehyung replied.

Jungkook drove into the parking lot and put on his mask, quickly skipping his way in to get the slurpees.

It almost took 10minutes and Jungkook was back with the chilled drinks.

So as to not disturb the ones sleeping, Taehyung stepped out of the car so that they could drink it outside.

They were alone in an empty parking lot with the stars twinkling above them as they slurped on their drinks.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Jungkook asked and Taehyung shook his head.

"I'm alright... it's just... I was terrified at the moment. But now... I feel calm. I know hyung's alright and I know I can trust him to keep his words... I just feel relieved..." Taehyung sighed.

Jungkook hummed and kept his drink aside on the bonnet, turning to face Taehyung. He gently wrapped his hands around the Male's and tugged onto him, so that he could see his face.

The raventte cupped Taehyung's face and pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead, the tip of his nose and down to his lips.

Taehyung sighed softly with his eyes closed as he melted in those warm hands.

He didnt know why Jungkook did that... but it felt nice.

It was like reassurance.

A hidden meaning under softness.

As if, Jungkook was convincing Taehyung that he'd be there for him. Through thick and thin.

Jungkook smiled softly as he pulled away watching Taehyung's ethereal beauty. He tucked his brown fringes behind his ear and rubbed his thumb across his cheek.

"Let's go yeah?" Jungkook mumbled and the other hummed.

The two slipped back into the car and Jungkook revved of to distance, while another car stayed in the shadows.

The figure that watched the scenario play out through his own eyes sighed when he saw the caller ID of the phone ringing in his hands.

"Yes, Hello, Sa-jangnim Lee YongWon.." Xi Luang mumbled back.

Xi Luang looked back at the spot where Jungkook and Taehyung stood a minute ago.

"Jungkook?"

"No Sa-jangnim... there was no one with him sir. I can confirm Jeon Jungkook was alone...."

"Yes Sa-jangnim... have a good night" Xi Luang replied and cut the call.

He breathed calmly, lying again effortlessly.

A soft smile played on his lips, knowing he could sleep peacefully tonight.

For he loved the boy dearly like his own son.

For Jungkook.

___________________

___________________

Author's Note:

Damn this chapter literally got tears to my eyes like-

So.. yeah, Yoongi had his reasons and well...

sorry for that heavy angst.... but ummmmm it's not the last heavy angst of this book.

Honestly- shits coming down from the next chap.

LoL....

______

And oh boy.... omg.. Still With You, has me bawling my eyes out.

It's a perfect song that will go for a wholeass scene in one of the (later) coming chapters that will make you wanna rip your hair out.

Okay bye in giving too much information.

Thanks for all the love yall-

61k views wow... Im- so emotional.

Be kind to one another

Stay safe from Rona yall.

Love,
Jaye.