"My dear Nathaniel, embrace the endless and infinite opportunities available at the perfect choice of deciding to begin your adventure of saying YES to EVERYTHING! Okay, huh? So try this! You must for the sake of your freedom!" The tall lanky boy urged.

"Lucas, it's kind of ironic you're talking about freedom while attempting to force me into something" I replied nonchalantly. I was leaning against the rock hard brick wall that engulfed my room, perched languishly upon my paper thin budget mattress that I found at 90% off at British Homes. 

Lucas gasped theatrically, great gulfs of air swooshing into his face at the grand gesture of mock astonishment. "Nathaniel! I would never, EVER do such a thing! You are merely twisting my words into compulsion rather than persuasion. You just cannot seem to admit that I have a bulletproof conving argument" he said, eyes glinting with mischief and with a slight smirk at the knowledge of his foolishness. 

"Oi! Nathan!" A large high-pitched voice boomed my dorm door open suddenly before I could reply tho the Lucas's empty words. It came from Tweitha, a girl from the most northern town in the whole of Ireland and just as geographically upward she lived, so was her vocal words and she permanently spoke as if she had sucked up the entirety of a hot air balloon. 

She stomped into the small space of my room, and pulled me up by the ear. "Your bloody knickerbockers were found in MY room, ah-GAIN! How dare YUH! Who was it this time, eh?" She interrogated, her beakish face suddenly an inch closer to mine with a brown eyebrow raised above tanned skin.

"Uhhhh, sorry Tweitha..." I babbled, unsure of how this could ever have happened. Why would I leave my underwear in her room? And who called underwear knickerbockers other than Tweitha? "I have no idea how they got there".

"UH! You mean to say..." she jerked her neck back in semi-shock, eyes bulging "that your smelly white undies just waltzed into my room on their skateboards and plonked themselves on my WINDOWSILL for the BLOODY WHOLE WORLD TO WATCH AND ****ing CLAP?!" She shouted, with a slight grin at the end. "Agh, I'm just kidding with you, mate". She grinned, tossing my underwear over to me. So they had been in her room...

Before I could contemplate the complexity, Tweitha whipped her attention over to Lucas who was sitting in astonishment at the quick reversal of atmosphere at her sudden entrance. "What the hell, Lucas? Why are you holding a pear like that?" 

Suddenly coming out of a state of statue mood that Lucas randomly entered at the moment dramatic of moments, she spoke "Nathaniel here says he's never eaten a pear! Quite remarkable, I must say". 

I shrugged, repeating to Tweitha what I had told David. "Pears just look weird, they kind of look like my favourite kind of female body, and I don't want to eat a woman. That's cannibalism". 

"Really depends how you eat them" David intervened with a smirk, rubbing his chin  with the palm of his hand. 

Tweitha tutted. "The pair of you have SUCH dirty minds! Nathan, that's a ridiculous reason not to like a pear. Do pears even possess legs and arms?" She said, hands on hips 

"No..." I said, shiftily. It wasn't the true reason why I had an unhealthy prejudice against the pear, it was just first reason that sprang to mind under pressure. "I don't know why you're both so outraged over my dislike for pears. It's just a pear for frog's sake" I said on edge, trying to flip onto the offensive. 

"But pears are absolutely exquisite, and taste like the kiss of life as they run delicately upon your pear-blessed tongue" David replied in his obsessive hyperbole. 

"Well, I really don't care. My food life is sophisticated enough" I countered, burying my face in the nearest magazine - The Economist - and trying to be interested by the fact that the Bank of England had lowered the interest rate yet again in the current economic climate. 

"Are you weirdos stopping by the party on the top floor of this titchy building?" Tweitha asked enquiringly, sweeping the pear dispute away. She was eyeing David in particular. Was I just collateral?

"Will there be plenty of pear-flavoured vodka shots?" David asked with a wink at me. 

"Errr, only if you bring them, you greedy bastard!" Tweitha rebuked, her face creasing into the stern hardness we were going to become adapted to so frequently. I would learn later that David found it extremely sexy. 

"Thus sounds like an excellent arrangement. I shall grace the party with the Pear Paradise it so sorely needs". 

"Great" I huffed, contemplating reading more about interest rates instead of listening to more pear teasing. 

"It is great!" Tweitha added. "Anyhoo, I will see you boys there" she announced.

"Off to aggressively recruit other individuals to this lame Top Floor party? I hope the Top Floor is paying you. You don't even live there" David said with a grin, knowing that this was like winding up an exploding parrot.

"Excuse me! But I have PLENTY of friends who live up there!" Tweitha revolted, a slight flush on her face. She looked a bit embarrassed and at the time that had surprised me because she seemed like someone with the skin thick enough to withstand any bombard of a teasing comment. 

With David's now classic grin still plastered onto his face, Tweitha turned and stormed out of the room, revealing for a few seconds a gigantic arse bulging from her tight blue jeans.

As the door slammed shut, David let out a whooshing sigh. "Goodness gracious me, that body is incredible" he said in a gushing drawl, more to himself than to me. 

He took a huge, crunching bite out of the bottom of the pear and smiled widely with mischievous glee.