We walk through to the waiting area for our plane, with me so ready to get home. I was so excited to see my family, because no matter how much I loved my tour, I missed my family nevertheless. Sure we had talked everyday but it wasn't the same as being in their presence, with them being there to give me constant hugs when I needed them and trust me I needed them often throughout this tour, and to cheer me up on my down days with their cheesy jokes, or even just tell me their cheesy jokes randomly. I could tell Shawn was itching to get home too, which reminded me I couldn't see Shawn or Lauren anywhere, yet they were meant to be getting on the same plane as me. Odd.  I was still racking my brain as to how I could tell Shawn about Lauren, but although there were so many ways, firstly I had no proof so there's no chance he would believe me over the woman he supposedly loves and secondly I couldn't just go up to him, I don't want to put him through that kind of pain.

I return my attention to my book, scanning the words on every page but not really taking any of it in until eventually I give up reading altogether and place my book back into my bag and go to the Starbucks that is nearby, waiting in line already knowing what I'm going to order.

As it nearly approaches my turn to order Shawn comes up behind me,

"Hey Eva, haven't seen you in a little while, where were you?"

"Oh you know, just in the waiting area, I was reading my book but then gave up and found myself here. Where were you?"

"That boring huh? That's why I never read, but I guess you're too much of a nerd. And about that, can I talk to you?"

"Just couldn't concentrate on it and hey nothing wrong with nerds, I love them. And um yeah sure, why don't you go find a table and I'll order some drinks."

"Okay, sure. Um yeah, a table," Shawn says as he sets off, and normally I would laugh but he was looking pretty lost and confused. I could tell he had some sort of guard up. He most definitely was not himself. Maybe he just didn't want to go back home? I knew how much he loved music and touring, just as much as me if not more, and maybe he was just missing it already.But why does he want to talk to me?!

I go up to the counter and order myself a hot chocolate and Shawn a green tea, he's always drinking it so I'm assuming that this is the drink he would want. I thank the barista as I take the two drinks off the counter and look around trying to find Shawn who had found us a table in the very far back corner. The cafe was empty yet he picked the back corner of all places?

"Here you are," I say placing the drink down on the table in front of him.

"You got me a green tea?" He questions taking the straw out of its paper packaging.

"Um yeah, you always seem to be drinking it so I thought it would be what you want. Sorry, I can go get you something else if you want?"

"No, Eva, it's fine. Perfect in fact, I was just a little surprised because no-one gets my Starbucks order right usually."

"Well what can I say, I'm a mind reader!"

"You're definitely inside my head," Shawn mutters but it's so quiet that I don't quite hear it properly and think that what he said is my mind playing tricks on me.

"Pardon?" 

"Never mind,"

"So um whats up?" I ask him taking a sip of my drink, mentally wincing as the hot drink burns my tongue. I wasn't a patient person okay?

"I-well-um. I don't really know how to say it, I mean I know how to say it but I don't know how I feel about it saying it." Shawn begins

"It's okay, honestly Shawn take all the time you need."

"We broke up."

"You and Lauren?" What a stupid question to ask Eva.

Shawn nods his head, looking up from his drink, his eyes meeting mine, I try keep my face straight giving nothing away and as bad as I felt I couldn't suppress the little joy that bubbled up inside of me, Shawn was too god for her anyway.

"So I'm guessing you found out?" I ask, curious as to why.

"Found what out?"

"About Lauren?"

"No, what about Lauren?"

Well shit. Nice one Eva.

"Why did you guys break up?"

"I asked you a question,"

"Well answer mine first," If he doesn't know she was cheating then why did they break up?

"Fine, but you're answering mine straight after Eva. I didn't have any feelings, every time I was with her I could name a better person I wanted to be with, and every time we said we love each other it wasn't her face that came up into my head, it was someone else. And that's why I wanted to talk to you about it because I'm so damn confused. Now answer my question,"

Oh.

"I've been trying to think of the right time, but I don't know, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I think she's cheating on you, or well was." I ramble out, it made me feel so much lighter telling him, like a huge wight was lifted off my shoulders.

Shawn stays silent for a long time, swirling his straw around his drink until he finally speaks.

"I thought so too, but I didn't want to accuse her."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when you ring someone's family to tell them that you hope they're okay during a family emergency and then they have no clue what you're talking about you would get a bit suspicious too, don't you think?"

"Oh Shawn, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's not your fault. How long have you known anyways?"

"Since yesterday, my song was about you."

"The things you don't know song?"

"That's the one,"

"You wrote it about me?"

"Why do you seem so shocked?"

"I don't really know, I've never had a song written about me before. Why me?"

"Because, I hated how she was treating you and sneaking around you back and then acting completely normal around you. I guess you could say it was more about your situation,"

"I-um thank you?"

"You're welcome I guess, so you were saying, you're confused? Why?"

"Because, I broke up with Lauren, I expected to be sad and I should be but I'm not. I feel sort of relieved, but at the same time I feel so much more stressed because when I was with Lauren she could be my distraction but I was never happy with her and now she's gone the other girl is all I think about."

"Maybe you're not sad because you never really wanted to be in the relationship in the first place?"

"You're right, I didn't."

"Then why did you even get with her?"

Why did you break my heart....

"Because I thought she could give me what I needed-"

"What, sex?" I snort, and literally laugh when Shawn turns red.

"Well, no not just that. I thought I just needed to be with someone because I thought this other girl would go with this guy and I didn't want to set myself up to see that everyday and I thought maybe the feelings that I used to have for Lauren would come back and I would forget this other girl."

"And did she? The other girl go with the guy? And Shawn, you can't force your feelings to come back, yeah I know it's tricky seeing someone you like being with someone else but you shouldn't have put yourself into such a toxic relationship just as a distraction, and you can't say it wasn't. I've heard all the arguments, and I know how she treats you. You don't deserve that."

"She didn't, and I was so stupid to just let her go. And of course I deserve it, but I should be breaking, I should be in tears and be heartbroken after Lauren because that's what I deserve. It's what I made the other girl go through,"

I feel dread bubble up inside me, of course there was someone better. Never me.

"Shawn are you stupid? We all make mistakes okay? And I know you, you wouldn't hurt someone on purpose, for crying out loud you would still apologise to Lauren after an argument where she would throw nothing but insults at you, you're the kindest guy and you seem to think you should go through heartbreak?!"

"But I think I made her hate me, the girl, I made her cry and I pushed her away just because I'm selfish. She didn't deserve anything I did to her."

"Shawn stop being so cryptic, who the hell is this girl?"

"You."

"What?"

"The girl is you, I pushed you away so much because I was scared I was going to get hurt, don't you remember that night we kissed? I never meant any the crap I said to you, I wanted to tell you how amazing you are but I broke you, I saw it. And back then I knew it was you I wanted but I didn't want to get myself hurt so I told you I didn't want you. You cried so much and I could see it for days, and even though you smile now and look so happy I can still see that when I'm with Lauren it breaks you. It broke me too, so much. Every time I was with Lauren all I could think about is how much I wished it were you, but instead you would somewhere else, with some other guy oblivious to his flirting because you don't see how god damn amazing you are. Tell me if I'm wrong and this is all crazy,"

"I-um Shawn, what do you even want me to say? That was kinda out of nowhere,"

"Out of nowhere? Couldn't you see all the signs, how I was constantly complimenting you and how I couldn't concentrate or talk properly when you're around? How I'm always jealous because there's always someone flirting with you, how I don't want you talking with guys. Yeah I couldn't scream at the top of my lungs but maybe it's because it's what I have been doing so I'm completely aware of it but Eva can't you see? I know you must feel something too, tell me that if i hadn't walked away that night there could have been a chance for us? Let me know if there even still is?"

"Shawn, I really don't know, of course I like you. Honestly I have since that night and I know I got upset with you for saying this to me but right now I feel like you're confused, how do I know that you'll mean it tomorrow? How do I know that it won't be like last time. I don't want to be your rebound and I like you Shawn I really do but-"

"Hey, I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel overwhelmed by this. You answered my question and thats what matters right now, and thank you. I don't want you to answer now because I want you to be certain and I want to convince you how much I really do mean it so please think about what I'm about to ask you. Look, Eva I really want to give it all another chance, give us a chance."

"Shawn, thank you for giving me time. I swear I'll think about it but I really don't know, I want to but I'm so scared Shawn,"
But I'm also so ready to take you back...

"Hey, don't worry about it, take all the time you need! Also, our plane is going to leave soon so we should really go board."

"Home," I say to Shawn as I wait for him to walk with me, with of course a huge smile on my face.

"Sweet home," Shawn replied slipping his hand into mine.

❤️
Hi guys!! I'm sorry I took so long to update, I've had mocks which have been hell! (For those of you who aren't British they're exams) but from the results I've had they've been good :)
Anyways hope you enjoy this long chapter!! Thank you for all your support and thank you for understanding!
I love you all and I'm so grateful❤️