AN- PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE BOTTOM, THANK YOUUUU :)

A few moments later Shawn pulls away much to my disappointment, leaving me to crave the feel of his lips on mine.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, our foreheads touching

"Don't be, I liked that."

"Of course you did, you're vulnerable and confused and I took advantage of that. I'm sorry, we should just go." he removes his arms from me and stands up towering over me, any space we had between us now vanished.

"Shawn," I plead gazing up at him "I know I was upset, I mean I still am but I'm most definitely not confused. I've never been so sure of anything, ever."

As I stand up, he turns his back to me and starts picking up any litter. Silently I follow after him doing the same, both aware yet ignoring the others presence with an awkward silence hanging heavily among us. I rake my mind about what I could say to him but anything I can think of seems pathetic, therefore I start hoping he says something soon.

As if he can hear my silent plead he turns to look at me, his face conflicted with emotions

"This was a mistake, please forget it happened."

"What do you mean forget it happened?" I cry, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Lets just head back,"

"I don't want to" I stubbornly state

"Eva, don't make this more difficult than it needs to be,"

"How am I making this difficult? God you're so confusing,"

Silently Shawn walks to the car, I screw my eyes shut causing a few stray tears to roll down my face and begrudgingly follow Shawn to the car, it would have been my only way back to the hotel. Just before I open the car door I stop and look inside, only to see Shawn with his head in his hands which were rested on the steering wheel, his chest moving up and down as he takes deep breaths- which I'm assuming were to calm him down.
I open and slam the door shut making him jump, staring at me bewildered momentarily, buckle my seatbelt up and stare out of the window as Shawn starts the engine up and we drive away. I close my eyes wishing for me to fall asleep, it is better than the silence that is lingering between us, not to say that the silence was awkward yet it was the type of silence where we both wanted to say something, it's heavy with our thoughts and heavy with the moment we just shared.

"I'm sorry," I whisper

He nods mutely, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

"Me too," he says after a while

"I know," I offer him a small smile

"You know, you look much prettier when your smile is happy,"

"I thought all smiles were happy?"

"No, I can see your sadness in yours, your confusion, your anger, your helplessness and most of all your heartbreak. I'm sorry Noah did that to you,"

"It wasn't just him," I mutter, but obviously not quietly enough because Shawn hears.

"That's why I'm sorry, I don't know how I've made you feel but I know that it's not a positive feeling and I'm sorry for that,"

"I'm angry, not with anyone but myself for letting myself be affected by you and let Noah fool me like that. I'm angry because I'm so damn helpless, because I don't know what the hell to do but yeah you're right about what you said earlier, you confused me because I thought the electricity was there when I kissed Noah and then you came and I barely know you but you kissed me and I realised any kiss I had with Noah was like being given a star but being with you felt like I was given the whole universe, and I know it's cheesy but that's how you made me feel and I can't help it."

"I-I-Eva,- I'm sorry,"

"Just stop saying sorry. Stop it."

"Just listen to me, if I could I would do my best to help and I will, no matter when I'll do my best. I'll try my best to cheer you up and get you through this, I'll be here for you throughout this entire tour but there's only one thing I can't do for you Eva," he stops just as we
park up outside the hotel luckily with no fans in sight, I would hate for them to see me in this state, it would only make more people question about what's happened.

"What can't you do?" I whisper, keeping my eyes glued to my tangled hands which rested in my lap.

"I can't be there for you on a romantic scale,"

"Then why did you do it?" My voice comes out heavy laced with sadness, like the voices you have when you're about to cry and your throat hurts with every word you speak.

"Do what?"

"Kiss me," I choke the words out as if they were now venom on my lips, a memory that could have once been happy somehow seems ruined now.

"I told you it was a mistake," Shawn says as his hands clench into a fist and then unclench, repeating the gesture goodness knows how many times.

"I didn't know gravity accidentally pulled you towards my face," I reply bitterly.

"Look I got caught up in the moment, I don't feel the same way and I don't think I ever will, I'm sorry."

"Is it me?"

"What do you mean?"

"The reason you don't feel the same way, is it me?"

"I still don't understand, what about you?"

"Why don't you feel the same way? What's wrong with me?"

"We barely know each other." He states.

"That doesn't answer my question,"

"Fine it's you. Happy now?"

"Bullshit," I mutter "everything you said about Noah not seeing perfection was utter bullshit, and you know what? You're exactly like him, a damn player. So well done Shawn another person ticked off your list, I hope you're happy now."

In that moment I feel as though my heart breaks more than finding out Noah cheated on my, and I don't know why but everything inside me shatters. I reach for the car door handle and run out into the hotel, hearing Shawn call my name out but I ignore it.

So it's true, I would never be good enough. I run up to my room and collapse into my bed, sobbing away until I fall into a restless sleep....

♡

Okay so guys, I know I said I would update soon but I'm going to be completely honest
A- I've been busier than I thought this summer, so I haven't had as much time to update as I hoped
B- I'm definitely not going to stop writing this story so don't worry but I had no clue where it was going and honestly I'm not happy with it but I have more of a clue now and I'm going to finish it for you guys! I know the exact plot now so it's all cool!

ALSO- would you guys like Shawns POV?
Thank you so much for 6K!! It's insane!! I love you all lots and I will try my best to improve my updating game!!
❤️❤️