ok so i did this one here where pete lifts stormbreaker and then this one here as a follow up when he realises that he lifted it, but this request gave me an idea soooo i wrote a little fic thing? that was meant to be super short but is accidentally close to 2,000 words? it features a lot of laughing from pete. hope thats cool……if you want me to make the texts instead lemme know

Apparently, Thor thought the best way for him to spend his time at the tower was by making life for Tony that much harder, in a way that would earn him a few laughs – probably mostly from himself. It started with a bathroom, because of course it did. Tony walked into his bathroom one day only to be rendered unable to use the toilet, as sitting on top of the closed lid was Stormbreaker in all its glory. Tony knew that it was pointless but he tried to pick it up anyway, and when that didn’t work he tried pushing it off the lid, and when that didn’t work he tried to just lift the lid with it on top still. It, unsurprisingly, did not budge. He’d rolled his eyes but found himself letting out a soft chuckle anyway. It was kind of funny – it would have been very funny, if someone else had been the target – and he had other bathrooms after all.

The second time it happened, Tony was walking through his office door. Or rather, he was trying to. He scrolled through emails on his phone as he walked, absentmindedly pushing the door open, and then walked face first into the thick wood of it. He dropped his phone and cursed under his breath, reaching out a cautious hand to push at the door again. It didn’t move, and Tony stuck his head through the small gap it had opened to see Stormbreaker sat on the floor behind it, stopping him from entering. ‘You give a guy somewhere to live scotch free, and this is how he repays you.’ He complained to himself, picking up his phone and walking away.

The third time it happened, Tony took it as a very personal attack on himself and his well-being. He’d shuffled out of his bedroom at ass-crack in the morning, rubbing at his eyes and stifling a yawn, making a direct bee-line for the coffee machine. He reached for a mug and went to set it down for his needed morning fix, only for the mug to roll to the ground and shatter. Tony blinked a few times, taking in the scene in front of him. Stormbreaker was laid with its head in the coffee machine, laughing at him, where Tony’s mug should now be filling with that strong and bitter goodness. ‘Friday,’ his voice was thick with sleep still, ‘you better clear my day. Because I’m going to either kill someone, or die. Either way I need the day dedicated to it.’

And so, by this time Tony was done. He was done with it. At first, sure, it was funny. Cute, almost. That Thor was pulling little pranks. In an odd way, Tony had almost liked it. But now, as it sat outside his lab door openly mocking him the way it was, he’d had enough. It was time to call in reinforcements.

Pete, I need you over here asap. No questions asked. He text the kid, following it with a much softer, Also, good morning.

Peter replied almost instantly, assuring him he was on his way.

Tony paced in front of the lab entrance, shooting glares at the axe like that would somehow magically make it get up and move out of his way.

Within fifteen minutes, a very out of breath Peter rushed up behind him.

‘Mr. Stark, there you are! I got here as fast as I could, I’m sorry it took so long, what’s the- what’s the emergency? I mean, is there an emergency? I figured there was, is everything okay?’ Tony stopped pacing to look at the kid, a soft smile coming to his face.

‘Yeah, kid. Slow down and take a breath. Everything’s fine. Only, everything isn’t fine and I’m going to kill Thor.’ His glare was back, now.

‘What?’

‘He keeps leaving his stupid axe all over the place! In the bathroom, behind doors. He put it under my coffee machine, Pete. Under my coffee machine. I didn’t have a single coffee yesterday, and I think I’ve still got the shakes because of it.’

‘…Oh’ a smile came to Peter’s face that quickly turned into a bright grin.

‘Don’t.’ Tony pointed at him, a stern look on his face. ‘Don’t laugh. Don’t find this funny. It isn’t funny.’ A laugh escaped between Peter’s lips.

‘Repeat after me. You’re right, Tony, this isn’t funny. Say it, say this isn’t funny.’

‘You’re right, Mr. Stark, this isn’t funny.’

‘Good.’

‘But… what did you call me here for?’

‘Well it’s currently keeping me out of my own damn lab, and you’re going to move it for me. And don’t try and be all cute about it, okay? Just move it before I have to break a window to get in.’

Peter laughed as he stepped around Tony, bending to pick up the axe. He looked at it in wonder.

‘I still can’t believe I can lift this’ he said, his voice soft and gentle, eyeing the weapon with awe.

‘Kid, what did I say? I said don’t be cute about it… You know what?’ Tony grinned, pulling out his phone. He snapped a picture of the kid holding the axe and sent it to Thor.

Where do you want this putting, dumbass? Top of the Empire State Building? In a Chilli’s? Bermuda? He texts the god.

‘I ever tell you how glad I am that you taught Thor how to text?’ Tony mused.

‘No, but you have told me many times how much you hate that I taught him how to text’

‘I don’t need the daily updates about him and Bruce, okay? Especially when those updates are just ‘Hello Tiny Stark, Bruce looks good today’’, he mocked, lowering his voice dramatically.

‘He calls you Tiny Stark?’ Peters eyes lit up like he’d just won the lottery.

‘If you ever repeat that, you’re grounded. You hungry? Let’s go have breakfast, squirt.’ He led the way towards the kitchen.

Peter set the axe down on the counter, that grin coming back to his face when he looked from it to Tony.

‘You want me to starve you, kid? It’s still not funny.’

‘You’re right, it’s not even a little bit funny.’ Tony could tell from the kid’s voice how funny he actually found it. Which was very, he found it very funny. The little brat.

Ah, my axe! I searched for that for almost an hour this morning! Thor replied to Tony’s message. He rolled his eyes as he read it, his thumbs typing a response faster than they ever had before.

Don’t play coy, point break. You know exactly where it was, because you left it outside my lab door. He shot back.

No, Tiny Stark, I left my axe on the table, I am sure of it.

‘Can you believe this guy?!’ Tony waved his phone around. ‘Feigning innocence!’

‘Woah really? He’s the worst’

‘I can tell your heart’s not in it, but I appreciate the effort. He is the worst! Keep going, I dare you’

‘What kind of person would leave an axe lying around that you couldn’t move out of the way?! Stopping you from using the bathroom! It’s- it’s too much, really. He’s really… he’s really just the worst!’ Peter tried to stifle a laugh as he finished. Tony nodded along to his obviously fake rant enthusiastically.

I have suspected for some time that small Peter moves it.

Tony scoffed at the text.

‘And now he’s trying to shift the-’ Tony paused. He looked at the quite frankly shit eating grin on Peter’s face, at his red cheeks that must surely ache, and his bright eyes. His eyes flicked to Stormbreaker.

He thought back on all the times it had been left somewhere to disrupt his day. Now that he thought about it, there wasn’t a time it had happened where Peter hadn’t been in the tower, either at the time or soon before he found it. When it was in the bathroom Peter had been over watching movies. When it was behind his office door he’d been over working in the lab. He’d stayed late the night before the coffee incident.

Tony cocked an eyebrow, mulling this new information over in his head. Could Peter have been the one doing it? Would he have been? He looked back to Peter, at the stupid grin still on his face, and decided. Yes. Yes, he would.

‘You little shit.’

‘Wha- me?! What do you- I’m not- Mr Stark!’ Peter spluttered, covering his laughter.

‘Don’t ‘Mr Stark’ me.’

‘I thought we were mad at Thor! For the Stormbreaker thing! What- what did I do?’ he laughed.

‘We were mad at Thor. Now we’re mad at Peter.’

‘What did I-’

‘Don’t insult my intelligence by trying to deny it, Pete.’ There was no real heat behind his words, and a smile was coming to his face, too. Peter’s smiles were always so damn contagious.

‘I really don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Yeah, that so? So, if I pull up security footage from the past week or so, I won’t see you creeping around with that axe?’ he nodded towards it.

‘…No’

‘You’re grounded, for using the weapon of a God from outer space to make my life difficult.’

Peter laughed until tears came to his eyes, hunched over and holding onto the kitchen counter for support.

‘My coffee, Peter? My coffee?’ Tony said once he’d quietened down, which only caused him to start up again.

‘Okay, laugh it up. We’ll see who’s laughing when you’re not allowed to come over when Thor’s here anymore.’

‘What?! No, come on, I was just-’

‘Relax, I’m just kidding. I’m actually, in a strange way, almost proud that you pulled this off. I mean, I was convinced it was Thor. I was on the verge of kicking him out of here’

‘That’s a little extreme, isn’t it?’

‘I thought he’d stopped me from having my morning coffee, Peter. You take a man’s wife before you take his morning coffee.’ Peter laughed at his dramatics.

‘Alright, get that thing out of my sight. I’ve seen enough of it to last me a life time. I’ll start on that breakfast.’ Tony turned to the fridge as Peter took the axe and went to put it away.

‘Put it back where you found it, Pete!’ Tony called over his shoulder, watching Peter walk out of the kitchen, nothing but fondness on his face.

Tony would have to deal with a laughing Peter again, later, when they head to the lab together, only to find the axe back on the floor in front of the door. ‘You said to put it back where I found it!’