Heya peeps! Enjoy a 4,000+ word oneshot with insecure Peteyboi and Sad!Confused!Tony. With a happy ending, of course.

Endgame AU where Tony lives, so.

Enjoy.

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Love my readers!

If I could turn back time, then I would rewrite those lines.

"What are- what are you doing?"

"Oh. This is nice."

"I am inevitable."

"And I"

"Am"

"Iron Man."

Snap.

Peter freezes in the door of the hospital room, but Pepper moves forward with Morgan in her arms. It takes Peter a second to realize that Tony's eyes are slightly open. He is awake, though it doesn't look like he should be.

The nurses move to the side so Pepper can reach out a hand to grip Tony's. "Hey, sweetheart," she whispers softly. "We're safe. We're okay now."

Tony's eyes drift towards her, and some recognition flicks through them. His hand shifts on the bed as if reaching for her, but his strength fails, and Pepper gives a pained smile. "It's alright, Tony. I love you."

"I love you three thousand," Morgan whispers, hiding her face in her mother's shoulder.

"M'gn," the word is muffled from both the oxygen mask, and Tony's inability to speak clearly. The others move forward, but Peter stays where he is. He can't get his feet to move.

Tony makes gurgled attempts at names, but his attempts to ask about "Nt" and "Bce" are unanswered. 

"Mr'gn?" Tony slurs, and his daughter reaches out softly, tiny fingers resting on his uninjured arm. "Neb'la?"

"She's upstairs," Pepper whispers. "She's okay."

"M' kids 're 'll 'k th'n," Peter can't tell if it's a question or a statement, but something in him drops anyway. All of… but then...

"We're going to be okay, alright?" Pepper presses a kiss against his forehead, "You can rest now."

Peter slips from the room quickly and quietly.

I've seen all I need to.

Tony didn't—

Stop it!

Tony didn't—

Shut up!

Tony didn't...he said that all his kids were safe, but he didn't ask about Peter, and that means that he…

Don't think about it.

He has life to adjust to.

Normal life.

The life he hasn't been around for five years with—

Tony forgot about him.

The days after are strange, to say the least. 

He doesn't hear from Tony- of course not- and he tries to move on.

Yeah, it's weird (understatement of the year), but they're all right.

They're fine.

He doesn't have any nightmares, nope. None at all.

May tries to talk to him, but it's so different, and May has gray hairs, and she's dating Happy of all people.

And he doesn't fit in. 

MJ and Ned have gone on, they're in college, and half of his classmates are with them.

Sometimes he wonders why he even exists.

May worries about him, and he catches her on the phone a lot, whispering about him when she thinks he can't hear her.

He doesn't eat, really.

It isn't a big deal, it just doesn't taste good, anymore. 

And he wishes he hadn't come back.

They're better without him.

He hasn't put on his suit since then.

Since there were choked sobs of 'Tony please don't go- we won, please-'

And hands pulling him away.

He hates the sight of the shining metal.

Until the night he puts it on, and swings to the top of the closest high building he can find.

He takes it off there, folding it, and laying it on the ledge. 

Then he steps to the edge, staring down at the street.

He isn't even wearing his web-shooters.

It would be so easy.

So easy.

But just as he shuffles closer, his phone rings.

He hesitates to answer, but does, on the last ring.

"H-hello?" He curses his voice as it shakes, betraying his emotions. 

"Peter? Are you all right?"

He shuffles back from the edge, wiping his eyes with one hand. He hadn't even realized he was crying.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm- sorry, who's this?"

"It's Pepper."

"Oh. Hi. Is- is everything okay? Is Mr Stark okay?" 

"He's doing better. In fact, we were wondering if you would like to come spend a week with us, at the cabin? Harley will be there. Tony thought you two would like each other."

Yeah.

Sure we will.

"Sorry, Ms Po- Mrs Stark. I don't think that's really the best time. I kinda want to spend time with May. It's been five years for her, and you know…"

The lie made his throat ache.

"I already talked to her. She said she was spending the week with Happy. What do you say?"

Don't. 

They're only asking because they feel sorry for you.

A sob escaped before he could stop it, making the line grow silent.

Then…

"Peter? Honey, are you alright?"

Now that it had started he couldn't stop, silent sobs shaking his shoulders as he clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Peter! Peter, sweetie, talk to me, please. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"'No…"

"No? No to what, sweetie?"

"I'm not okay. I'm not- I can't do this- I don't want to do this- I'm so tired-"

"Peter, please talk to me. Where are you?"

Peter barely manages to choke out a coherent answer: "I- I can't-"

Pepper was quiet a second, "Did something happen?"

"Not- not, I'm sorry, I- I have to go-"

He hangs up to her startled protests, and hunches over, wet face stinging in the sharp breeze.

His eyes gaze unseeingly at the blur of people and cars below.

His phone rings again.

Same number.

He ignores it.

Again.

And again.

Minutes later, it's May.

Then Happy.

Ned.

Even MJ, though he has no idea how they got in touch with her.

He ignores them all.

Then his phone rings again, and he sobs as he looks at the name.

Tony.

He declines.

Messages pop up.

Peter, call us.

Peter, please answer the phone.

Peter, I'm worried, baby, please come home.

Peter? Pepper and May are frantic. I'm worried too. Please call us. -HH

Peter, I will have Tony track you if you don't pick up.

Peter silenced the phone.

It hurts.

It physically hurts. 

Like something is pressing his chest in, and he can't breathe.

He almost changes his mind.

Almost calls Tony back.

Wants to say all the things he couldn't before.

I love you.

You're like my dad.

I nearly lost you.

I can't live without you.

I'm sorry.

Instead he sends a message to all of them.

I'm not okay. I haven't been okay for a long time. I don't belong here. Everyone has gone on, but I'm stuck five years in the past. Everyone has their own lives, their own families, and I don't fit into them.

He ignores the influx of panicked calls and texts. There's more he wants to say.

Tony… thank you. For everything. You're the best mentor I could've asked for. I even- it's stupid, but I kind of- you're like a dad to me. Were. Were like a dad to me. I know, you didn't ask for it, and you have your own kids, and you're happy now, but it's true. I love you, Tony. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person.

Then as an afterthought, because he wants Tony to know that he's fine with it, with this, he sends a message to Tony, and Tony only.

I was there, you know? In the hospital room. When you woke up. You asked for Morgan, and Nebula. Pepper said they were safe. And you smiled. You said, 'my kids are all okay then.' You didn't mention me. It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. It really shouldn't. I have no right to see myself as your kid. Because I'm not. Not really. Not as much as they are. Maybe not at all.

Either way, I love you.

Hours later, he listens to every one of their voicemails and he cries.

Big, ugly, gasping sobs that tear his throat. 

But he still listens.

Messages from Pepper.

"Please, Peter. Tony is out of his mind. He needs to know that you're okay. Please come home."

Then there's several from May.

Please. I thought you were dead for five years, okay? And I can't do it again. I can't lose you, and Tony can't lose you.

More messages from Pepper.

Tony is panicking, okay? Cho is threatening to sedate him if he doesn't calm down. Please, Peter. Please. Just come home.

He doesn't want to see Tony.

He does.

He doesn't. 

He wants more than anything to see Tony, but he doesn't at the same time, because even if he didn't hate me before, they will now.

Tony's voicemails are the worst.

The first one tore him apart.

"Peter please, I just got you back."

His voice was weak.

"I just- I just got you back. You were supposed to be okay. I- I wanted you to meet Harley, and geek out about stuff with him. I wanted you to meet Morgan, and tell her about Spiderman's adventures. I wanted- I wanted to hug you- and call you Spiderbaby. I wanted- I wanted-"

There's a stifled silence, broken again by Tony's voice.

"I always said when I was a dad, I would tell my kid I loved them, but I didn't tell you- and now- I just- I just want my kid home. I thought- maybe you needed some time with your aunt before I stole you away to our cabin. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

The voice stopped for a brief second, replaced by ragged breathing.

"I was still- still drugged. I thought maybe it was a dream. Maybe I had dreamed hugging you. Maybe you were never even there. I didn't ask because I didn't see you- didn't think I could handle being told that my brief moment of happiness was a lie. I swear I never forgot you. I never replaced you. Morgan and Nebula are only two of my kids. I love you, kiddo. I love you, and I need you to come back so I can tell you in person."

The thing that breaks his resolve is a final, quiet voicemail from Pepper.

"Peter. I know you don't want to come home. I know you're hurting. I know. But if you will listen to anything I say, it needs to be this. Tony. Loves. You. You're his kid. His first kid. Losing you the first time broke him. He hasn't been the same since. And he can't lose you again. He kept pictures of you around the house. He invented time travel for you. Please, Peter. If not for anyone else, come back for Tony. Give him his son back."

I can do this.

He dialed a number he still had memorized, and took a deep breath.

It rang.

And rang…

"Hello?"

Peter smiled weakly at the familiar voice. "Happy. Hey. Hi, uh- can you come get me?"

There was a stunned silence.

Then…

"Peter?"

The teen rubbed his forehead. "Yeah. I need a ride."

"Thank god! We were all so worried! What the- what were you thinking? Are you completely insane?"

Peter winced. "I know, I don't know, and probably. It certainly feels like it. Can you come get me?"

"Where are you?" He can hear the complete and utter relief in the older man's voice, and it completely throws him for a loop.

"Uh...Westridge Avenue, I think. Why do you sound so relieved? I didn't think you cared so much." He deadpanned.

"Kid, with all due respect, shut up. We've all been out of our minds. May has been crying non stop because she thinks she wasn't there for you when you needed her, me and Rhodey have been searching everywhere. Pepper has to care for Morgan while worrying about you. Helen has had to keep Tony sedated because he has been absolutely hysterical with worry. We care, all right? Now I'm taking you one of two places. May's, and then Tony's, or straight to Tony's."

Peter sank down on the curb, pulling the thin hoodie further around his frame. "Tony's. I need to see him."

"Good. I was taking you there anyway. I'm going to call Pepper, okay?"

"Uh...yeah. maybe that would be good."

"All right. I'll call, and be there in ten." The tone was final.

"Okay."

As promised, Happy pulled in at the ten minute mark, opening the door and pulling Peter into a hug. "Never scare us like that again."

"Yeah. 'M sorry. Are they-" he faltered, avoiding Happy's gaze. "Are they mad at me?"

The driver shook his head softly, pointing to the passenger door. "Get in."

Peter slid in and buckled up before repeating the question.

"Not so much mad as- well, scared. Terrified. Tony thought he was losing you again. Pepper was scared because she didn't think Tony could deal with it again. Morgan, well, she just wanted to meet the brother she heard so much about. So they're pretty upset."

"I didn't mean to worry you guys that much."

"Didn't mean to worry us," Happy repeated incredulously. "Didn't mean to worry us? Do you have any idea what your message sounded like? It sounded like a suicide note. Just… never do that again," Happy said firmly. "Never."

"I won't," Peter mumbled. "I didn't mean it to sound like that, I just needed to get it off my chest."

"And I get that, Peter," Happy stated gently. "I do. I really do. But you can't scare us like that. May has already lost everything, including you, once. And Tony loves you more than almost anything or anyone in this world. Morgan, Pepper, and Rhodey being the others. Trust me. That man loves you more than life. And I care too, you know?"

Peter smiled wanly. "Thanks."

After a fairly long drive, they pulled up to a cabin, and Rhodey was waiting, along with Pepper, whose eyes were red.

The minute they pulled up, Peter getting out, and grabbing his bag, Pepper was hugging him tightly, nearly sobbing into his shoulder.

"I'm- I'm fine, Ms Potts. I'm sorry I scared you."

She pulled back, wiping her eyes. "I know. Come on. I didn't get the chance to tell Tony yet, seeing as he's asleep, so you can go wait in the room."

"Are you sure?" The shakiness of his voice didn't go unnoticed. 

"Yes. He's worried too much already. He needs to see that you're okay so we can stop keeping him sedated."

She may or may not have wanted him to feel guilty, but he did.

I did this to him.

Tony…

Was not sleeping peacefully, if the lines on his forehead were any indication.

Pepper stopped at the door of the bedroom, nodding toward the bed. "Go on." She kept her voice quiet. "He should wake up soon."

The door shut, and he was alone with the silent form on the mattress.

"Hey," he began, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Uh- I came. I- I'm sorry I worried you. Pepper said that they had to keep you sedated so you wouldn't come after me like this. I'm really sorry, Mr Stark. I guess I could call you Tony, now. Seeing as apparently you see me as your son. I guess- I thought it would be weird, or something, but- I kinda, may see you as my father figure? Maybe? If you don't mind, that is. Anyway, I didn't get to meet Morgan properly, or Harley, for that matter. Did you know that Mr White Wolf likes memes? He calls them mee-mees," He continued rambling, trying to fill the stifling silence. "Can you believe that? He's best friend with the princess of Wakanda, who is extremely up to date on everything current, and he calls them mee-mees."

He sat there for who knows how long, just talking about anything and everything that came into his mind.

"Did you know that Mr Rogers has PSA's that we have to watch in school? It's ridiculous. They're so annoying. That's a villain origin story right there." He faked a deep, accented voice. "'Always telling me how to live my life. Be a good boy. Stay in school. Don't do drugs. So, you got detention' SHUT UP ABOUT MY LIFE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME.' Honestly, I would become a villain if I wasn't Spiderman. And if I didn't have you."

He trailed off, wringing his fingers together nervously. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, Mr Stark. Tony. Please wake up."

The door opened, and a small figure came creeping in.

He relaxed as he recognized the little girl. "Hey Morgan."

She blinked up at him. "Mommy said that you were feeling better now."

Holding his arms out, he waited for her to accept, then lifted her onto his lap. "Yeah. I mean- well, yeah. I'm better."

"Good," she said firmly, snuggling into his chest. "Cause daddy missed you, and I wanted to meet my brother."

Peter nodded slightly. "I know. I'm sorry I didn't come before."

Morgan didn't seem perturbed, instead settling herself and brushing hair out of her face. "You can braid my hair," she said softly. "Daddy said you can, and it's annoying me. Daddy likes braids, but Mommy doesn't have time right now."

Internally screaming, Peter forced a smile. "Sure. I might not be good at it though."

She wrinkled her nose. "Not as bad as daddy. He made my hair so bad that Mommy couldn't brush it for days."

The teen pulled a face. "That's ridiculous. He's just not very good at fixing hair, is he, princess?"

"Nope," she responded cheerily. "Can you do it?"

He gave a slight nod and fumbled as he gripped strands and smoothed them away from her face. May taught him how to do basic braids so she wouldn't always have to do it after Ben died.

Appraising his work with a critical eye, he bopped her nose with his finger. "Better go get a hair tie from your mommy."

She kissed his cheek quickly, running out the door. "Thanks Petey!" She yelled over her shoulder.

"No problem, Morgan," he said under his breath. "Hair stylist on call."

The miniature whirlwind was back in minutes, holding what looked like popsicles in her hands. "Petey! D'you like juice pops?"

She handed him the purple one before he could answer. "Everybody likes juice pops! They make everything better!"

Smiling softly, he accepted it, not surprised at all when she climbed into his lap again, leaning back with familiarity as if she had been sitting there all her life.

Pepper called them for dinner half an hour later, pushing plates of food at them as they entered the dining room.

"Eat. Sit down at the table, Morgan. You too Peter."

"Yes ma'am," he ducked his head. "Thank you."

Several minutes in, Morgan shoved the last bite of food in her mouth, and started to get down before stopping and looking at her mom. "Can I be 'scused?"

"May," Pepper corrected gently.

"May I please be 'scused?" Morgan said again.

"Mm-hm. Take your dishes to the sink please."

The tiny girl disappeared into the hallway, and Pepper focused her gaze on Peter. "How are you doing? Apart from the obvious."

He hunched his shoulders, toying with his fork. "I'm fine, Ms Potts. Mrs Stark," he hastily corrected himself. "I'm fine."

He felt a finger poke his side, and he jerked away. "Try again," she said softly. "You're as stiff as a board."

He snuck a look back at the bedroom. "I hurt him."

There was a soft silence, unbroken except for their breathing. 

"I hurt him, and now I can't even apologize for it."

Tears stung his eyes, and the woman pulled him into a hug. "It's all right now, Peter. You're here, and that's what matters."

Just then Morgan bounded into the room, stopping short at Pepper's side. "Daddy's awake!" She chirped. "He's acting funny. He's going like this," she imitated inhaling and exhaling quickly. "And I think he's tryin' to get up."

Peter looked quickly to the blonde woman, who inclined her head gently. "Go on. He needs to see you right now."

The room was only illuminated by the light of the bedside lamp, which highlighted the shaking form of his- dad.

His dad.

He was, like Morgan said, slightly hyperventilating, trying to push himself to his feet, but failing each time.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Peter hurried over, gently pushing him back to a sitting position, and crouching in front of him. "It's okay, Mr Stark. It's okay. I'm right here."

Tony swayed slightly, glassy eyes focusing on Peter's face. "Pete?"

"Hey." Peter gripped the feverishly warm hand between his own. "Yeah. It's me. I'm right here. It's okay. It's okay now."

The older man slumped forward, bringing his arms up to weakly hug the teenager. "Was worried," he mumbled. "Missed my spiderbaby."

"I know," Peter whispered. "I know you did. But I'm back. I'm here now."

He gently lowered the man down, resting his head on the pillow. "Try to sleep. I think you have a fever."

Tony jolted up, trying to sit up again. "No- no sleeping- gotta keep you here-"

"I'm staying here, Tony," Peter said gently.

He's completely out of it. 

"I'm staying right here."

The sluggish movements slowed, and Tony scrabbled weakly for Peter's hand with his uninjured one. "'M spiderbaby."

"Yeah." Peter nodded, smiling softly, and blinking away the sudden wetness in his eyes. "Your spiderbaby. Now sleep."

Tony frowned, sluggishly lifting his hand, resting it on Peter's cheek, and wiping away a tear. "There. Happy now?"

"I'm happy now," Peter agreed.

Satisfied, Tony closed his eyes, letting his hand fall to Peter's, and grip it tightly, so that Peter wouldn't leave.

Not even if he wanted to.

Peter was asleep when Tony woke up again, his head resting on his arms, upper body on the edge of the bed. 

He was woken by a gentle hand on his cheek, thumb sweeping back and forth.

The teenager lifted his head blearily, looking around slowly, brows furrowing, and then turning back.

His eyes met Tony's.

The book in his lap— The Great Gatsby, his school reading—clatters to the ground. It's late, and quiet, and the sound is deafening.

"Hey kiddie." His voice was hoarse, tears in his eyes. 

“Mr. Stark,” Peter breathes, and in the next instant he's across the room. “Mr. Stark! You're—you're awake! You're—”

Here.

Safe.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

“Oh, kiddo,” Tony whispered, as though Peter had somehow said it all without saying anything—and Peter just broke. Tony reached up, and his shaking thumb brushed Peter's cheek as he cupped his face. “Oh baby.”

Peter clutches Tony's other hand like a lifeline.

"I'm sorry-" The whisper came out on a breath of air. "I'm so sorry…"

Tony gently shook his head. "We're okay, Pete."

Trying unsuccessfully to blink back tears, Peter laughed shakily. "We will be."

He stopped trying to hold back, slumping forward, resting his forehead on his dad's chest.

A gentle hand smoothed down his hair, calloused fingers rubbing soft circles on the back of his neck. 

"I missed you so much," he choked, tears breaking through. "I missed you so much."

"I know, Petey. I'm sorry. For not telling you how much you mean to me. For not being there for you."

Peter shook his head quickly, face still against the soft t-shirt. "Wasn't your fault. I was bein' insecure."

Tony's finger tapped his cheek, drawing his gaze. "Not that I don't love you either way. Get up here."

The teenager hesitated, brow furrowing. "What?"

"Get up here." His dad patted the blanket beside him. "I need my Spiderbaby cuddles. I haven't gotten them in over five years."

The shakiness in his voice didn't go unnoticed, but Peter gave a tiny nod. "Are you sure? I- I don't want to hurt you-"

"If it would hurt me I wouldn't have asked. Now come on."

Peter moved around the bed, gently easing himself down on the mattress, and curling up against Tony's side.

His dad's arms wrapped around him protectively, a relieved sigh escaping. "I love you kiddo," he whispered, voice heavy with exhaustion.

"I love you too," Peter inhaled the comforting scent of home. "Dad."

He pretended not to see the way Tony's eyes were shining, or feel the way his arms tightened.

They would have to talk about it, of course.

There would be tear filled discussions, and apologies, and embraces.

But that was for later.

Now, as Peter lay there in the comfort of his dad's embrace, he could hear the steady heartbeat, and know he wouldn't have to hear it stop again.

Whew this one was a doozy.  It took me weeks to write this!

Hope you enjoyed, and as ever, leave a vote and comments! They make my day!