I'm writing this while eating lasagna

TW: basically the three main types of abuse (verbal, physical, sexual) all that horrible jazz for our bby. (Mainly in the second part)

Don't worry I make it better.

Peter has many walls.

No, not physical walls. Not walls that you can see with the naked eye.

Peter has mental walls. Walls that surround a certain section of his brain. Walls that protect him.

Protect him from memories.

Protect him from people.

Because people are mean and sick. They will break you.

So Peter built up his walls after being broken by too many people.

Peter doesn't trust easily anymore, he doesn't open up easily anymore. Peter's walls protect him from having to do those things.

His walls protect him.

🥒🥒🥒🥒🥒🥒

Peter sighed as he walked back to his foster home from school.

These people were nice. They didn't hit him or yell at him. They took care of him.

They just didn't trust him.

I mean who could?

He's been tossed from home to home. And the day he came to them he was bruised and battered, he refused to speak or look at them for a week.

But what can you except from a kid that's been in the system since he was four?

He's never been wanted. He's just used for the money they get for keeping him.
He doesn't know what it's liked to be loved.

He doesn't know of a mothers kiss or a fathers strong hug.

He doesn't know what it's like to be in a home and feel safe. He's not used to safe.

Safe is a foreign word that he doesn't the meaning of.

--------

"Hey there, Peter. How was school?"

Peter looked to his left to see Alicia, his foster mother, pulling cookies out of the oven.

He didn't know why he felt a pang of fear every time he walked in the house.

These people are nice. He reminded himself that everyday.

"It was okay, Mrs. James."

"Peter we've been over this. Call me Alicia, and while you work on that come have some cookies." Alicia pulled out a plate a dumped all the cookies on it.

She pushed it towards the bar stool Peter had sat himself in.

He picked up a cookie and examined it.

Stop, Peter. These people don't drug your food.

He bit into a cookie and chewed it as he listened to Alicia talk about her day.

"Oh, would you like to lick the bowl? I'm pretty sure a little bit of raw cookie dough won't hurt." Alicia pushed the bowl over to him, the spook still in it.

Peter gave her a small smile and told he thanks.

As he ate the cookie dough in the bowl he answered a few questions Alicia would ask him.

"So, how are you liking Jax and Lillian? Are they being nice to you?"

Peter licked the spoon before answering. "Yeah, they're nice. They don't really talk to me much though. But they aren't mean."

Alicia nodded, "Well as long as they aren't being mean to you."

Peter grew quiet and Alicia hurried to make conversation.

"You know, when Jax was little and he licked the bowl like you did, he would get it everywhere. In his hair, on his face, on his hands, his legs. That boy was mess."

Alicia looked up as she saw Peter laugh at her little story.

He looked so innocent in those few seconds.

Cookie dough smeared on his face, doe eyes shining bright, his laugh sounding like a thirteen year olds should.

How she wished she could savour this moment. To keep it forever.

Peter was such a gift to her. If only he could actually be hers, if she could have watched him grow up.

She could have protected him from all those people that she knows hurt him.

But sadly, she isn't his birth mom. But she can try and be the best damn mom this kid has ever had.

"Hey Peter," Peter looked up at the mention of his name and cocked his head to the side, "I want you to know that I'm here for you. I know that there is a lot of people out there that have hurt you. But I can promise you that I will not be one of those people. I know you don't fully trust me, but I trust you. And I won't put you back in that system. I will protect you Peter, okay?"

Alicia had teared up as she talked. She felt so bad for him. She just wanted to hold him until he couldn't hold him anymore.

Peter had uncertainty heavy in his eyes. But he pushed it away.

He trusted her.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, he felt two arms around him and the sweet scent of coconut.

Alicia felt Peter tense for a moment, as if he expected her to strangle him. But just as she was about to let go and apologize for her actions she felt two small and frail arms wrapped around her waist.

"Do you trust me?" She whispered as she held him.

"Yeah, I trust you."

------

After that moment in the kitchen Alicia and Peter became closer.

Alicia felt so happy that he trusted her. This boy that was so scared and afraid trusted her.

That meant more to her than she could ever say.

As Alicia sat downstairs on a chair in the living room reading, she heard shouting and a crash before things went silent.

She put her book down and rushed up the stairs.

She turned the corner and ran into Peters room, where she was positive she heard all the noise come from.

She saw Peter on the ground curled in a ball, Jax and Lillian standing over him.

She felt anger surge through her.

Did they do this?

Why would they hurt him?

"You two go to Jax's room. Now." Alicia pointed to the door and watched as two of her children walked out of the room.

As soon as they left room Alicia ran over to Peter.

She sat down on the ground beside his curled up form and held him in her arms.

"Whatever they did to you they won't do it again. Do you hear me? They won't do it again." She rocked back and forth as she ran her hand through his hair.

"How do you know?"

Alicia stopped rocking and sat Peter up. She lifted his face from his knees and looked him in the eyes.

"Because I will protect you."

Alicia walked down the hall furiously, swinging open the door to Jax's room.

"Why did you two do that to him. And don't pull some stupid excuse. Just be honest and you won't be in as much trouble as I'm about to put you in."

"He's taking up all your attention! You even go into his room at night and stay with him until he falls asleep." Jax yelled at his mother.

"Yeah, it's almost like you love him more than us!" Lillian finished.

Alicia sighed as she pinched the bridge of he nose in frustration.

"Kids, listen. Peter has been tossed from home to home since he was four. He's never been in a safe environment until now. He has nightmares about his old homes. He needs a little more attention to know that he is safe and cared for."

When the two stayed quiet she decided to continue.

"Yes, I love Peter like he's my own. But I don't love him more than you two, I love all three of you equally and of you don't like it then hate on me all you want. But you will not hate on that boy. Do you understand me?" She said the last part in her angry mom voice, making sure to get the point across.

The pair nodded their heads at her words, both of them looking ashamed.

"Now I want both of you to apologize to Peter by the end of the week. You two are grounded until I feel like ungrounding you. Now give up the phones."

She shook her head at them. "Two years older than him and you act like give year olds."

She held out her hand and held the phones as Lillian retreated to her room.

Later that day Peter didn't come down for dinner.

"Peter! Time to eat!" Alicia called up the steps. When he still didn't answer she walked up the stairs to his room.

She found him sitting on his bed staring at the wall.

"Peter? It's time to eat bud." She say down in front of him.

Peter shook his head, "I don't deserve to eat." He mumbled.

"Peter," she held his face so he would look at her as she spoke, "You deserve to eat. In this house you can eat until you get fat you can't walk."

Peter giggled and smiled at her. "Thanks."

"No problem bud, let's go eat."

Do you all want a second part though?

Also let me address something real quick.

I accidentally started an 'argument' in the comments of one of my stories.

So of you saw it I'm sorry of it looks like I was starting an argument and being rude because that was not what I was trying to be at all.

I was just trying to calmly ask someone to be nicer.

But I'm choosing to not reply as they have said bye and I don't want a bad reputation for being rude.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good day and they love themselves.

I know it's hard to sometimes, but you are amazing no matter what you tell yourself.

See you Cucumbers soon!

🥒 "oH mEh GoD, iTs A sAlTy CuCuMbEr"