Disclaimer: Because of my eye condition, my updates will be much slower and not as consistent as they were before, but I am determined to complete this 3rd book as well as book 4. I apologize for such a long 3 year wait. I ask for your patience and kindness, and that you refrain from posting comments asking me to update. There may only be one chapter per month, or one every few weeks, or possibly even every 1 and 1/2 to 2 months, I have to take my health day by day and some weeks are better than others. I appreciate your understanding. Thank you, and thank you for reading. Xo -Katelyn

I COULD FEEL THE vibration of my heartbeat against the wooden floor. How long had I laid here? My entire body felt numb and limp, with every muscle shocking an ache in me every time I took the shallowest of breaths.

Everything is gone. It's all gone.

My home. My crown. My people. My Calder. Everything had crumbled to ash between my fingers and sprinkled onto the earth like blackened snowfall.

It was my fault. Every bit of it was mine. How did I not know? How did I not see that this would be what was coming all along? I was the fool disguised as the queen. Everyone in the castle was possibly dead now, all because of me...Maybe even Calder too.

I let out a muffled, agonized sob and rocked myself back and forth against the floor. What was I supposed to do now? How was I to know if anyone in Vinter was left alive? I couldn't go back and fight Sylvi on my own, with no army, without Calder by my side. And I didn't know how to make a portal that would take me back, Calder had never shown me how.

I was defenseless to Sylvi without the one weapon that could have a single chance of destroying her--Sverdet. And I had no other information to track her down now. I was completely out of options, plans, and power. A queen no longer...and maybe never again.

Could Calder still be alive somehow? Could he have by some miracle escaped the castle after getting me out and was on his way to find me? I didn't know. As hard as I could've tried to convince myself in my head that he was on his way to me, I knew Calder.

He wouldn't have left surviving subjects to die by his mother's hand if at all possible. I remembered his words, saying that he had to fix his mother's wrongs. That meant he had left that room somehow avoiding the fire and tried to help more subjects, and maybe even confronted Sylvi himself. But in doing so, he could've gotten harmed or worse...captured once again by Sylvi, or finally killed by her as she's wanted all along.

No. No, no, no. He can't be dead. He's not dead.

I would feel it. Wouldn't I? We were bonded now from our first time making love and from him finally verbally declaring he loved me. Our souls were officially connected, I would know if Calder was gone, or injured, surely that was what it meant. Calder said our heartbeats would be one, I would know if his had stopped. Wouldn't I?

I slowly pushed myself up off the floor and began feeling of my chest where my heart resided. I checked my pulse, tried to focus on how I felt within myself. Would it feel like half of me died if Calder had? I never got any chance to ask him in more detail how bonding each other's souls would feel after it happened. I never expected it to happen to us so soon, like that.

As I continued to feel around my chest, my hand found Calder's pendant he'd given me which pooled tears in my eyes again. I'd forgotten I was even still wearing it with everything that had happened. The unmeltable icy snowflake made from his magic felt dull in my fingertips, not like it had before whenever Calder or the essence of his powers were near. It didn't glow no matter how much I touched it. Perhaps it was because I was so far from him now, or because...no. I couldn't go there in my thoughts. I wouldn't dare.

I began to take a slow look around my surroundings. I didn't think I would ever see this home again. How many months, days, hours had passed since I was brought to Vinter? I knew time moved quicker in the realm than it did in the human world, but by exactly how much? How long had Blane been dead now? Was he still a frozen statue upstairs? Had my 6 months in the realm been but a blink of an eye here?

I looked over at the small desk clock sitting on the hallway table, ticking away in the silence. 9:00 p.m. I remembered that at this time of night Hanir and Linnea always watched the nightly news channel.

I got up and quietly walked into the kitchen to get to the living room, stopping abruptly when I saw the yellow police tape covering the patio doors.

So time had moved at least a little. Police had found Blane's body, and I was surely now named a suspect on the run. I felt an ache in my chest for his family, his friends, what they must be going through after his murder. It was another thing that was my fault that I couldn't reverse. How long had the police been looking for me? Did they think I had killed Hanir and Linnea as well? Did they find their bodies too, or even the knights Hanir and Linnea and Calder had taken down?

I stepped into the living room and walked over to the television, hoping the power in the house was still running. Clicking the remote it glowed to life and lit up the dark room, and I closed the window curtains just in case the house was under surveillance outside.

The local news channel was the first thing to appear on the screen, the female news anchor's mouth moving silently with a generic crime scene illustration shown in a square next to her head. I shakily turned the volume up just loud enough for only my ears.

"Good evening, this is your local Channel 5 news, I'm Vanessa Lorrianne. We begin our broadcast tonight with a new update about the ongoing investigation of the murder of local high school student Blane Malcaroy. It's been three months now since the seventeen year old high school soccer player was found dead in a home on Hollow Road.

The home belonged to Harold and Linda Arnesen and their daughter Eerika Arnesen. Mr. Malcaroy had visited the Arnesen home after school on February 18th and didn't return home that evening after the snowstorm anomaly that shocked the city of Phoenix.

With powerlines down he was unable to be tracked by cell phone and was declared missing for two days before his body was finally found inside the home. Two other bodies who were mutilated beyond first identification were also found inside. They were eventually declared to be Harold and Linda Arnesen based on key features given to investigators by a close friend of their daughter Eerika."

Jessi...because Hanir and Linnea had been in hiding with me they hadn't made friendships in the city and Hanir worked from home. They never attended my school functions and no one paid attention to them in the grocery store. We had no neighbors and of course no family...Jessi was the only other person close enough to know what they really looked like. She had to be the one to identify them...I couldn't imagine how much this all had traumatized her, when I had nearly forgotten all about her while I was in Vinter. I felt sick to my stomach knowing the iron knights had done such a gruesome thing to Hanir and Linnea after Calder had rescued me.

"There was no sign of the seventeen year old daughter in the home when police arrived. Investigators believe she may have been the cause of these gruesome crimes and is currently the top and only suspect in this case. Though there were signs of a break in through the kitchen patio, authorities saw no sign of a struggle that would assume a kidnapping was involved. The warrant for Eerika Arnesen's arrest is still ongoing and police ask that if you have any information to please call the station as soon as possible."

I swallowed down a lump of bile risen in my throat. So it was just as I expected. I was a fugitive now, supposedly running from the law. Everyone in the city and at school knew about what happened now. Three months had passed here when already six had gone by in the realm. That meant it was May now, so Prom and graduation had already taken place, and I had caused Blane to miss it all along with his future. I would always have that aching regret.

I was a fugitive, because I had killed a guy without consequence, even when it was accidental. But how would I have ever been able to explain that I was a frost faery with a deadly kiss? I didn't even know or understand myself before Calder brought me to Vinter...

"Here's the latest picture we have of the suspect sent in by the police station. If you see anyone matching this photo you're asked to contact the police hotline right away. We're going to take a short break now and continue on with our scheduled weather and sports news in just a moment. Thank you."

I stared at my face plastered on the television screen as the anchor finished her segment, the yearbook photo I had taken before my senior year started staring back at me. That girl was unrecognizable to me. My hair was white as snow now, my cheekbones were sharper, my ears stuck out from my hair in points, even my eyes looked so otherwordly. I wasn't sure if anyone saw me outside that they'd know it was me. That girl in the photo could never have known how much her life would be turned completely upside down in a matter of months after that photo was taken.

And now, what was to become of that new life I had? What only seemed like an hour that had passed here since I was transported might have already been a whole day or even a week in the realm. What was happening there now? Was there anything left of the castle? Were any of my subjects still alive? Was Sylvi still there, now sitting in my throne and torturing my people senselessly?

And Thorne...Calder...Was there any chance at all that they were ok?

I slowly sunk myself down onto the couch and let out a shuddered breath, tears pricking my eyes as I put my head between my knees.

"Calder..." I whispered to myself, choking on a sob. "Please let me know you're alive out there somehow. Please. I don't know what to do...What do I do?"

I sat there for what seemed like the longest seconds of my entire life while I cried and tried to focus on feeling anything, or even hearing his voice in my head if that was possible. But when nothing happened after a minute passing I broke down, my utter deafeat crashing down on me once more.

"No...no, no, no. This can't be happening. This can't be real, no."

But then after another sob escaped my lips, I suddenly felt a cold sensation against my chest, and opening my eyes and looking down I saw the white glow in the center of Calder's pendant. I gawked at it with wide teary eyes, grasping it in my hands and feeling the energy tingle my fingertips.

Some form of hope suddenly swelled within me knowing it was made purely from Calder's magic. If he was truly gone, I knew the magic of this pendant would no longer glow, it couldn't have. The energy felt strong, assuring me he wasn't injured or in Sylvi's hands. Whether it was because of our souls being bonded now or simply my hopeful intuition, I just knew. Calder was okay. This was a signal to me.

I let out another little sob with a smile spreading across my face, running my shaky thumbs over the snowflake.

"You're alive. You're alive Calder."

The glow of Calder's magic softly faded and went dormant once more, and after that confirmation I felt my sorrow quickly turn into hot anger.

Jumping up from the couch I quickly walked out of the living room and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. Coming upon the doorway I saw another row of police tape, and I ducked under it. My room hadn't been touched other than the markers of where Blane's body had been. I could tell some things had been taken for evidence though like the landline I had used to try calling for help and the backpack with the homework I'd planned to do with Blane.

I turned to my closet and saw all my clothes still hanging up, and an old backpack from a previous grade still stuffed on the top shelf with dirty sneakers. I grabbed every piece of clothing I could hold in my arms, the backpack and shoes too, throwing them onto the bed and stuffing them inside the bag.

I quickly changed into an outfit and threw Calder's clothes into the bag so no cops could try to get his DNA, and changed into the shoes. I was moving a mile a minute now, grabbing everything I could think of--first aid, snacks from the kitchen pantry that hadn't been destroyed in the fight with the iron knights, anything useful I could fit inside the backpack.

I wasn't thinking of much other than of Calder, that if he was truly still alive then I knew he would come find me and we could track down Sverdet to end this all once and for all. But until he showed up I would have to start on my own now that I felt for sure he was alive. My shock of what had happened was now worn off and anger towards everything Sylvi had done suddenly lit like a fire within me. Calder's message through the pendant was my reminder. This is not over yet. Even if she burned my castle to the very ground, this was not over. Not until we finally won this fight.

I didn't know how or where I was going to start, but until Calder could get to me, I had to start working on a plan on my own before time ran out for any of my kingdom that might be left.

I had to find Sverdet.

*

A/N: Since I don't read as well as I used to, please let me know of any grammar mistakes. Thank you so much