"Happy birthday."

Tony blinked confused as he took the envelope handed out to him, "My birthday passed a while ago."

Happy nodded, "Just open it."

Tony raised an eyebrow before he turned the envelope over to front to where seven letters were written. But those seven were all it took to make his heart skip a beat,

Mr. Stark

Such a simple phrase, something he had been called for a good portion of his life. Something so simple that it shouldn't faze him. But it was handwriting he recognized him which caused his heart rate to increase, to cause his hands to begin to shake. To make it hard to breathe as words echoed in his ears,

"Mr. Stark I don't feel so good."

"Mr. Stark I don't wanna go."

"I'm sorry."

"Tony?"

The words came from Happy, not from the past Tony tried not to drown in. He took a deep breath in as he forced himself to open the envelope and pull out the card.

"The kid asked everyone for days what he should get you," Happy was explaining as Tony stared at picture on the front. It was clearly a card meant for a child, the cartoon Iron Man in a party hat and holding a cake made that much clear, but nonetheless it made Tony want to smile- but the urge to cry was greater.

"He asked me, Pepper, Rhodes and even Vision... We all told him you'd like anything he gave you," Happy continued. "He didn't tell us what he got you in the end though."

Tony took a deep breath and opened the card nearly dropping what sat inside. He grabbed them quickly and upon inspection found two expired carnival tickets, and other than the tickets read the words,

"Have a birthday as awesome as Iron Man!" And beneath in that familiar scrawl it read,

Iron Man may be awesome, but I think Tony Stark is even better! Happy Birthday Mr. Stark!

-Peter

P.S. You deserve a break so let's go to the carnival!

P.S.S. If you're free of course. I don't want to take up too much of your time or anything

Tony shut his eyes and the card as he took breaths to focus on the bubbling emotions stewing in his chest, and try to push them back down before they overflowed. Tears pricked at his eyes as his empty hand balled into a fist.

"Why are you giving me this now?" He asked Happy quietly.

"Peter had made me promise to give it to you on your birthday," Happy sighed. "But that wasn't possible with everything. And I doubt you wanted me to wait a year to give it to you."

Tony took another breath as he opened his eyes and focused on the card before him. As he tried to focus on the thoughtfulness of that fifteen year old- that amazing kid. That amazing Spider-Man- that kid. That kid he has brought to space. That child he had gotten killed.

"It's not your fault," Happy stated suddenly.

Tony only shook his head in reply, he had this conversation enough times. And no matter who said that, it wouldn't change the truth of the situation.

Peter was dead.

And Tony was at fault.

"It's really not To-"

"You know he probably saved up for those tickets," Tony said standing. "I doubt he'd ask his aunt for the money."

Happy's mouth opened and closed is surprise at the sudden shift, and Tony used that as an opener to leave. He had made it into the elevator before Happy understood his intentions.

"Where are you going?" He called.

Tony glanced down at the card in his hand as the doors began to close, "I've got an errand to run."

~~~~

"One second!"

The call from the inside of the apartment came at the same time Tony glanced down at his phone to see a text from Pepper come in.

I thought we were having lunch? Where are you?

Tony put the phone back in his pocket and he looked back to the door in front of him. Why was he even here?

He shouldn't be here.

He had no right to be here.

Yet this was where his subconscious had driven him when he had gotten in the car. Perhaps part of him wanted to apologize more than he wanted to take his mind off of everything.

But in this moment he wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run. To run down those stairs and jump in his car and make his lunch date, but his feet were nothing more than cinder blocks. He had only managed a half step back when he could hear the door unlock.

The sound caused his heart to become a jackhammer and his hand to burn around the card he held.

"Give me one reason to let you in," May Parker demanded coldly when she had opened the door.

Tony opened his mouth to respond, but she didn't give him the chance to speak before a slap stung his face. His face stung, and the sound rung in his ears as he lightly touched his face. He dragged his gaze back to her face, his eyes searching her blazing ones as she still seemed to await his answer.

"Well?" She asked him.

I'm sorry.

The words were simple, so why was his throat constricting them? Why was it refusing to allow him to say it? To say two simple words?

"I slap you and that's it?" May scoffed in disbelief.

When Tony remained silent she crossed her arms and shook her head, "You have nothing to say to me at all? You take my nephew to space, and get him killed and you can't think of a single fucking thing to say to me?" She screeched. "You send people to tell me he's dead while you sit at home like nothing changed! And then you just show up here and I'm supposed to let you in like nothing is wrong at all? Like you-"

"I know."

His words must of surprised her, because her words faltered and her anger calmed slightly. She took a deep breath and Tony saw as tears left her eyes,

"Why are you here Mr. Stark?" She said his name with venom, like it was some sort of slur for the murderer he was.

The complete opposite of how Peter would say it.

"I don't know," Tony told her quietly as he looked down to the card in his hands. "I really don't know."

"And you expect me to let you in despite that?"

"That's up to you."

May blinked back tears which were already escaping as she took a step back in to allow him space to pass. An action which seemed to even surprise her.

She led him to the couch and once Tony was seated he was finally able to speak the words he had come to say.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. From the very beginning to the- the end. I'm sorry for how I am even handling this right now. I'm sorry I can't give you more than an apology. I'm sorry for everything, and I'm sorry I couldn't do more ... Peter he- he was such a good kid..."

When May didn't do anything Tony held the card out to her which she took with uncertainty.

"I found out today that he had freaked out over my birthday," Tony told her.

"Carnival tickets?"

Tony shrugged, "It's something fun I guess... I'm thinking I might go, just because."

"These tickets are expired."

"I'm a billionaire."

She gave slight chuckle as she handed the card back to him, "Well enjoy yourself."

Tony nodded as stood and moved to the door. She followed him to it, but he hesitated in the doorway.

"What?"

"Well um," Tony started awkwardly as he turned back to her. "Do you want to come with?"

"Where?"

"To the carnival-"

May's eyebrows knit in confusion behind her thick glasses, "Why?"

Tony shrugged unsure why he had even asked her to join him in the first place, "I don't know."

She exhaled and shook her head in a manner which said had expected his answer. "I'll pass."

Tony nodded and exited the apartment, "I'm sorry."

He made it halfway down the halfway before she called out to him, "Wait! I'll come!"

"Great..."

~~~~

The ride to the carnival was relatively silent.

He had put on the radio, but when he saw May scrunch up her face in disagreement he had turned it off entirely.

The silence between the two continued until they were far inside the carnival and wandering around.

"What should we do?" May asked finally breaking the silence. "Or should I assume you don't have an idea?"

"Do you like rides or games?" He asked her instead of answering questions.

She paused in thought looking around at the people enjoying themselves around them. "I like the calmer rides," she said finally. "Like the Ferris wheel or those car things. Games are alright, I never have enough money to win something but with you here that shouldn't be an issue."

Tony gave a slight chuckle as he moved his arm in a sweeping motion across the game stalls, "Take your pick May Parker."

~~~~

It had cost Tony a good amount of cash, selfies, and autographs before May was satisfied with her large prize, a child sized Spider-Man doll.

After that they had gotten snacks, and gotten into the Ferris wheel.

"I used to take Peter here," May volunteered as they rode, her eyes glued out the window. "He liked to come up in this right as it was dark and before we went home so he could see all the lights below."

Tony nodded deciding not to comment that was the first time they had actually mentioned Peter since leaving the apartment. "Is that part of why he liked to go out late and hang out on the roofs?"

May's lip twitched into a smile, "Perhaps that was part of it. But more than anything he liked to help, and he wanted to be a like his personal hero."

"Who's that?"

May looked up to look Tony in the eyes, "You."

"Me? Like I know I helped the kid out, but-"

"The Stark Expo," May said slowly looking back out the window. "I assume you remember when it was attacked?"

"Well yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well we were there."

Tony's mouth opened and closed once without words before he was able to formulate his questions, "What? You were? Why?"

She looked back out the window instead of answering, and after a minute or two she spoke again. "Peter didn't run away. He stood there wearing that stupid little Iron Man mask and held his hand up in front of him at that robot which had a gun trained on him. You landed next to him and destroyed the thing saying, 'Good job kid' before you flew off... As if he wasn't obsessed with you already," she laughed despite her tears.

Tony's mouth opened and closed as the memory came to him, it was something which had happened and that was always it. He had never dwelled on it. The memory was gone as fast as he had left Peter that night. That Expo Kid hadn't been like Harley, Tony hadn't spent time with him or gotten to know him so he never thought about him.

But apparently Peter had thought a lot about that half second interaction. Besides saving Peter's life had Tony also managed to change it? Was it that simple thing he had done which made Peter decide to become a hero?

"He never told you then," May said quietly.

"No he didn't," Tony breathed out as emotions hit him full force. Memories of that day on Titan, but also memories of the times he had spent with Peter doing anything at all. The times he didn't realize how much he had valued until they had ended.

"Here," May told him holding out a tissue she had pulled from her purse.

He hadn't even realized he was crying.

"I didn't really how much I had impacted him," Tony told her wiping his face.

"He was probably embarrassed to tell you."

"Probably... But he was still pretty brave and thoughtful. I've never gotten carnival tickets for my birthday. Much less at all."

May gave a small smile, "Have you gotten expired ones before then?"

Tony chuckled and shook his head, "Its the thought that counts."

May nodded with a slight smile as she wiped away a few more tears which escaped. "We're nearing the bottom."

"Can I tell you something May?" Tony asked her trying to stop himself from sobbing at the very words he wished to say.

"What is it?"

"I- I... I- I hate myself..." Tony admitted slowly and quietly as though he was scared to say the words at a louder volume. Because then maybe someone who had had lied to about the fact before would hear.

When May only nodded at his words rather than talk him down and try to tell him how wrong he was he took a deep breath already feeling more comfortable.

"I hate myself," He said again this time louder and with more strength. "Because Peter was only fifteen.... Because it wasn't until he was gone that realized how much he impacted me. How important he was and still is to my life... And to make it worse I know I'm the one who ruined it at the same time."

Tears blurred Tony's vision, but he wiped them away long enough to look at May as their car docked at the exit.

Tears flowed freely from her eyes as he wiped at them furiously. "We're here," was all she said.

The two of them climbed out of the ride crying, most certainly confusing the operator of the ride and the people around them, but Tony didn't pay much mind to it. He wiped at his face and ignored his sobs as he quickly led the way to his car and soon enough the two were on their way back to May's apartment.

~~~~

The ride was as silent as it was on the way, if you subtracted the sound of each of them calming themselves down.

"Tony," May started when they both stood in front of her apartment. "I hate you."

Tony nodded, "I know."

"And I don't forgive you," she continued before she moved to pull Tony into a hug, which he awkwardly returned. "I don't think I'll ever forgive you, or stop hating you, but even so I'm glad I went with you... And- and I accept your apology."

"Thank you," Tony told her squeezing her slightly back. "Thank you, that's more than I could ask for."

She nodded before she stepped back from the embrace and turned to go into her apartment. "Goodbye Mr. Stark, and well... despite what I think, I know Peter is thanking you for everything you did for him."

Tony's chest warmed as he gave the woman a nod and smile, a warmth which followed him down to his car and all the way home. A warmth which would follow him forever as he tried to move on, because he could tell that warmth belonged to Peter Parker.