Requested by Locjinger

Peter had just gotten back from an especially tiring day, after swinging around town, stopping countless crimes, and getting a total of 3 churros.

He was now chilling on the comfiest couch in the tower, casually watching Newsies (this is a bit of me projecting onto Peter, but I really like the headcanon that he's a musical geek), and eating one of said churros.

Wrapped like a burrito in the blankets, and about to fall asleep, Peter had heard a door slam, and a quiet grumbling coming from his father.

"Hey Mr. Stark! Come watch Newsies with me! If you want, uh, we can watch Heathers instead" Peter called out, making his presence known, as Tony was far too deep in thought to even notice the musical on the tv.

"Oh, hey kid," Tony started, he was about to turn Peter down, but he saw how hopeful he looked, and Tony really needed something to get his mind off his latest failed project. "Yeah, let's watch Newsies"

He sat down next to the teen, and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. Peter turned on the movie, and scooted towards Tony, and leaned into the older mans side.

Peter, quickly loosing consciousness due to Tony softly humming King of New York, started saying whatever was on his mind.

"You know what Mr. Stark?"

"Yeah kid?"

"I'd die for you"

Tony looked down at Peter from the corner of his eye, and responded without hesitation.

"Then perish"

This woke Peter up instantly. Usually Tony didn't even UNDERSTAND cultural references, but this time he responded correctly. Did he suddenly change his viewpoint? what was with this difference? Peter decided to test what was going on.

"Um..." The teen sat up, quickly racing his mind, thinking of different ways to test his theory. When he realized Something to Believe in had already started, and Tony was quickly drifting off, he opted to leave it up to future Peter.

*you know what's coming. This is italicized. It's inside two asterisks. It's a time skip*

The next morning, when Peter woke up on the couch to see all the rest of the team surrounding him and casually watching Shrek the Musical like the group of fuckers they were, and idea struck him like lighting.

See, the entire group was relaxed and happy, all resting on the couch, Clint not even out of his pajamas yet. It was the perfect time to initiate his plan.

Without anyone noticing he had woken up, Peter got to work and positioned himself to leap onto the ceiling in a moments notice, before clearing his throat, and speaking up.

"The floor is lava"

Intense panic surged through the entire group as they all frantically jumped around on furniture. Peter has already made himself a nice little spot above the couch, but nobody else could attach themselves to walls.

Now, on the other hand, Bucky could attach himself to Steve's back, and Natasha could backflip onto a coffee table in the other room and saunter out.

Thor just summoned himself the Bifrost and basically yeeted himself out of the world, while Bruce hulked up and yeeted himself out the window. Property damage? Never heard of her.

Peter looked around to see what Tony was doing, and was very pleasantly surprised, to see him just. Running. On the side of the wall. You've seen the meme.

*this is another time skip to create the appearance of good spacing and timing in this story*

Wade and Peter were chatting it up in the same common room as the rest of the story has taken place in, discussing Wade's new neighbors. New people had just moved into the apartment next door, and he had recently met them.

"Right. So the guy comes over, and he's like talking to his roommate" Wade was saying, flailing his hands around, because he's totally someone who also talks with his hands (and not just ASL)

"Right"

"And he was like 'so this guy I knew, was like 'hey I knew the girl from the roommates vine. She didn't even know she was in a vine''"

Peter gasped. "How iconic and relatable"

"So he kept talking, and was like 'so she was talking about how SHE was introduced to her brothers friends. And HE said 'this is my friend, and my friend's...roommate'' but it was totally his boyfriend' and that was the backstory"

"No way" Peter said. "And they were roommates"

"Oh my god they were roommates" Tony said from the kitchen, startling both the teens on the couch. He laughed and walked off, but not before Peter's jaw dropped, and Wade wiped an imaginary tear from his face.

"He's been doing this all week" Peter mumbled, deep in thought about what the signs could possibly mean.

"Stealing your thunder?" Wade joked, leaning back on the couch again, and picking at under his fingernails that he couldn't see because they were under his suit.

"Finishing my references" Peter clarified, now looking back at where Tony had left the room. Wade laughed and pecked his boyfriend on the cheek.

*this is the last time skip I promise*

Usually, Peter and Tony wouldn't eat out at fast food restaurants, mainly because Tony could literally buy the chain, but also because Clint could cook better. And Clint is a shit cook.

But, it was one of those rare occasions where Tony was feeling lazy, Peter was feeling stressed, and nobody wanted to cook anything. So Red Robin it was.

They sat in their booth, patiently waiting for their burgers while having a napkin folding competition. One would think that a billionaire in the restaurant would be a special occasion causing for the best possible service, but that person would be wrong.

Eventually, after Peter had finished his fourth crumpled ball, and Tony his ninth origami swan, the food arrived.

The smell was enough to bring tears to the starving boys' eyes, as they almost immediately dug in. But before then, Peter had to say something.

"Red Robin..." he mumbled, wondering if Tony would even understand, it being a lesser known vine. One of the rare variety. He held his butter knife out to his father figure, and waited moments that felt like hours, until a reaction.

"Yuuummmm..." Tony said, tilting a bit to the side and waving his hand, while giving Peter the tips of look like "yeah I know exactly what's going on, and you can't top this"

Peter dropped his knife and looked down at his burger, intent on just thinking instead of eating. Was his father really quoting Danny Gonzalez right before his eyes?

Tony, noticing that his son was having an existential crisis over his cheeseburger, chuckled a bit, and started eating.