We didn't even have enough time to say goodbye.
Ten minutes, that's all she had.
————————————————————————

The first minute still laughing and joking. She was still smiling. The reality hadn't yet kicked in. It felt good to laugh with her friends. The people she loved. Family. «nous sommes un grande famille» they always told us. We're family. They had been for a long time.

The second minute, saying goodbye to her teachers. And packing everything up. Collecting everything she owned from a place she once called home. She couldn't leave anything behind.

The third minute, it was starting to get real. "but what if—"
"don't say it"
"but you know I mean it, right?"
"please don't make me cry"
"i'm sorry. i just don't want to say goodbye"
"me neither, but it's not like we have a choice"
"i know it's hard, because sometimes..."
"goodbye is forever"
This time, they knew this goodbye could last forever.

The fourth minute, everyone felt it. She hugged them goodbye. The people she had shared her life with.
"maybe it won't happen?" they said, hugging her tightly.
But as they looked at each other, and what their world had become, they knew it wasn't true. They stood there, as time slipped through its hourglass. And she snapped back into reality. She couldn't let go of these people... but she knew she had to.

The fifth minute, their time was almost over. She took a deep breath. Hugged her friend.
"i guess this is goodbye"
"please don't say that"
"four-fifteen, first friday of september. meet you there."
"i will, but call me okay?"
"i will"
"love you"
"love you too"

The sixth minute, for saying goodbye. To the people she tried hard to forget. And to the ones who had already forgotten her.
"see you around?"
"yeah I guess... and I'm sorry"
But he never knew if she heard the last part, because like that, the minute was over, and she, gone with it.

The seventh minute, and the end was drawing near.
She couldn't say goodbye. It was too hard. She stood there in the middle of it all. People leaving her, everywhere she looked. Most of them were gone already.
"bye" she called out to some of them.
But they were already too far gone to hear her, the last goodbyes being carried away by the wind.

The eighth, talking to the girl she once knew so well. They'd been so close and when they drifted away, she spent her time regretting how things could have been. She's sorry because she hasn't been the best friend the last little while.

In the ninth minute, as her time was nearing an end, all the regrets came flooding back. Things she'd wished she'd said. Thing she wished she'd taken back. Chances, opportunities she wished she would have taken. She told her last jokes, laughed al little. Anything to dull the pain of leaving these people. Of having to let them go. It hurt so badly.

The tenth and final minute, she knew what was next. As the the people she loved pulled away from home, a single tear slid down her cheek. This couldn't be goodbye.

———————————

She sat there, tears sliding down her face, crumpled in her seat next to her "family". The one she was given. They'd never get her. They'd never even tried to. Because they never understood her like her real family did.

«nous sommes une grande famille.»
they'd been told since the start.
we're family.
that had to mean something...
right?

———————————————————————

Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap
Loving you was sunshine, but then it poured rain
Loving you was steady place
To let down my defenses
...
But loving you had consequences.