you know your identity and this thing you're feeling, feels so weird, but something about it just feels so good in a way you don't understand. or don't want to let yourself understand. but you know the commitments you've made to yourself and you maybe, just a little bit, regret making them. like you've made decisions for yourself and your future without knowing what you actually want. i mean, to some extent you know what you want, or what you're capable of having.

....
*sigh*
Life is annoying.