*Time Part 5*

~Taehyung ~

Time was a killer...at least that was true for me. The two months came & went without a word from Irisis. It had left me feeling completely gutted.

A few days after I had last seen her, I discovered she had up and left town to go spend time with her family. Azalea had gotten a text explaining where she'd gone. It said she just needed some time away and would return soon. There was not a definite answer of exactly when. It was short & straight to the point.

At first I thought ok....maybe she really does need some time away....time to get her thoughts together.... relax...regroup and decide if she's willing to make a commitment with me. Time to consider what I'd laid out to her. Or if she wanted to continue with her failing marriage. Which she herself had openly admitted to me on the night we spent together. We both had shared more than just sex. I told her things about my life that I'd never dared to tell any other female and she did the same. After that I saw her inner beauty more than the obvious physical beauty she possessed.

Yes we had jumped into sex fast and I had only been after that to begin with. We both had. The woman was lonely, & neglected and I had fulfilled that along with my own desire for her.

But as the days past it changed, becoming more than just a physical attraction. Everything about her drew me in more and more. She made me feel like a man, yea I know that sounds weird af, but most women always looked at me as if I were a high school boy, which was the reason I'd never been with any female her age. Even though the age thing bothered her she never treated me as though I were immature once we got through that first mishap where I'd made a damned fool of myself. When I did stupid shit, she thought it was cute and my heart soared whenever I could make her smile and do that sweet little crinkled face at me.

Now....here I sat just barely over two months gone and I'd heard nothing at all. She hadn't even accepted calls from Azalea. Once a week she'd send a short message saying she was fine, but never texted anymore than that.

Who had I been kidding? To actually believe this woman might possibly have feelings for me. What an ignorant fuck I was to believe I had a chance. Of course she wouldn't want someone like me, I didnt have anything to offer her....other than myself.

I felt sick inside, like my heart was barely beating. All I wanted was to crawl inside a dark hole and fade away. I payed that this feeling would let up, if only long enough that I could get some sleep.

Jkook & Azalea tried to persuade me to go out to some clubs with them, but I just wasn't into that type of shit anymore. They already knew how I felt about Irisis. It was kinda obvious. Hell they'd known all along and kept their mouths shut.

I was grateful when they finally left, I knew I needed to get out for a while, but I had no desire. Any other time I'd have no problem goin out just to land a quick piece of ass, yet now I couldn't bring myself to even try. I lay back on the sofa sighing, my arm covering my eyes.

*3 months Later*

I had pretty much lost all hope with Iris, even though I couldn't help but keep thinking that soon she would return. However I couldn't wait any longer and had finally came to the conclusion that I had to get on with my life regardless.

It was over & done with. A total of three months gone was a clear indicator that she wasn't interested and I was dreaming to have thought otherwise. Maybe she was happier with her life as it was and I was just too blinded by my growing emotions for her to see it. She could possibly be fuckin some other dude by now for all I knew. The very thoughts of anyone else touching her still devastated me. But what the hell could I do about it? Not a God damn thing!

*3 months earlier*
Irisis

I sat in the bathroom floor clutching the plastic white stick in my hand afraid to look. My eyes were shut tight praying that what I was feeling for the past month was just stress.

I reluctantly opened my eyes uncurling my clutched fist from around the little stick and slowly looked down at the result.

"God nooo!..nooo!..nooo!...nnnooo!" I cried out throwing it across the bathroom and slumping over onto the cold floor tiles.

"I cant do this....I won't do this" I sobbed uncontrollably. How could I have allowed this to happen to me. Im smarter than this, or so I thought.

"Ok...ok, I need to calm down an...and have this taken care of. No way can I do this." I stood slowly walking into my bedroom and lay down. I had decided I'd go ahead and get in with a local clinic tomorrow before this went any further.

I lay half the night thinking about how Taehyung had looked at me and the words he spoke so sincerely. This thing between he & I couldn't be love. Yet my heart raced thinking of him and I thought of him nearly all the time since I'd been gone. His cute face when he did something silly made me smile.

I had never been more confused than I was at this very moment. All I knew was I had to terminate this pregnancy, and the sooner the better.

_______________

I lay in the brightly lit sterile room, my feet in the stirrups. My legs shook as I watched the nurses acting as though this were the most natural thing in the world. Tears streamed down the sides of my face as I kept seeing Taehyung's face.

I reached up wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. My lips trembling. I let out a small whimper, emotions running rampant inside me watching them preparing to suck out the tiny 8-10 week embryo inside my womb.

"Its ok honey...."its" not even considered a baby yet." A nurse replied noticing how upset I was. She spoke as if this tiny life wasn't even considered a human yet.

"We ready in here?" The doctor strode inside the small operating room snapping his gloves on.

"You ready to get this over with Irisis?" He asked raising his tone a bit.

"Y...yea, I....I think s..so." I stuttered out nervously.

"Ok then here we go...your gonna feel some cold and pressure. Then I'll turn on this machine right here that will make a sound kinda like a vacuum." He pointed to an odd looking piece of equipment that i barely paid any mind to as more tears spilled over blurring my vision.

A nurse held my hand as I felt the cold tip of an instrument touch my vaginal opening causing me to jump an cry out. The sounds of a newborn baby's wee cries filled my head. More tears fell as I bit down hard on my bottom lip preparing myself for the pain to come.

I heard the machine flip on....

*6 Months*
Taehyung

I'd been doing a bit better lately, well better than I had been only a month ago. I was planning on taking the girl from the cafe out tonight, Hannah. She was nice, not quite my type, but I figured maybe thats what I needed was to date someone different than I usually would.

Of course I still thought of Irisis... I always would. I still loved her even though I kept trying to ignore it & tell myself that I really didnt.

Azalea came rushing inside the apartment with jkook. Bags of junk food hanging from their arms while they juggled one of the largest pizza boxes I'd ever seen. They came into the kitchen, both of their mouths running so fast I could hardly understand them as I chuckled at their behavior sipping on my cocoa coffee.

"Irisis is back!" Azalea suddenly announced.

I nearly choked on the hot drink hearing her words. "What!?...when did she get back!? Where is she?!" My voice came out loud & demanding. I stared at the girl my brows furrowed as she unloaded the various snacks.

"She's not staying with my dad anymore. Their divorcing. I haven't seen her yet. Buuuut I did finally speak to her and she's doing fine." She mumbled with her mouth grossly overfilled with pizza. How damn discusting.

"Really? And where is she staying? I asked calmly as if I were just curious, yet I wanted to run to wherever this woman was. My heart beat so fast I could swear the front of my shirt was jumping out like in one of those old cartoons where the characters chest is pulsing out in the shape of a heart.

"She didn't tell me and I did ask her. But she said its best that she be alone for now with all thats going on. I even told her I would keep it a secret. But she's stubborn and wouldn't budge. And you know how persuasive I can be. Anyway the divorce will be finalized soon. Oh and my sorry ass father already has himself a new lady....im sure he had before Irisis even left. I hope Iris takes his ass for half if not all of what he has.....that piece of shit!" She snarled with pizza sauce smeared all around her mouth.

"D...do you think sh..she'd talk to me?" I asked in an unassuming tone.

"She called me from a private number yesterday...so I can't call her back. The old number she had has been disconnected. There's no way to get in touch with her. I'll have to wait till she calls me again. Sorry Tae." She rolled her lip down giving me an over exaggerated sorrowful look that I wanted to roll my eyes at.

I felt like a caged animal, I needed to get the fuck outta here away from these two nuts before I got hateful and caused a damn argument. " Ima go out for a while." I snatched up the keys, grabbed my phone & jacket dashing out the door. I was so fucking pissed. If I could see that woman right now I swear to God I'd give her a piece of my mind....and she wouldn't like what I had to say.

I drove around aimlessly for an hour, then remembered the date I was supposed to go on tonight. I just couldn't do it now with the new turn of events that had me all shook up. So I called and canceled, claiming I had a family member that was very ill and I had to go outta town. If I would have told her I was sick, im positive she would have insisted on wanting to come over to take care of me and I couldn't run the risk of that shit happening. My lie had to be a damn good one to keep her away.

Finally I decided to head to the market even though I'd never been to this one before. I needed to pick up a few things and try an get my mind off  the woman I couldn't stop myself from thinking about and my heart from aching for.

I strolled inside the store pulling up the list of shit we needed on my phone.

I slowly pushed my cart through the store standing in front of the wide selection of cereals. " God damn why they had to make so many different tyoes of fucking cereal amazed me." I murmered pondering on which ones I wanted, a most difficult decision for me to make in my current state.

I finally settled on a few boxes. Two family sized for kook and one for me. I proceeded onward. As I was getting ready to head down the coffee aisle I caught sight of someone out the corner of my eye that reminded me of Irisis. Except this lady had longer hair, but the way she stood studying over the frozen treats caught my attention.

I knew I was being a fool, but I just had to get a closer look. I stayed back outta sight watching and waiting for her to turn around.

Finally she made her selection and spun around. My breath lodged inside my throat as my eyes ran over her. God she was even more beautiful than before. She wore a dress that flowed from underneath her much larger breasts than I remembered. I watched as her hand smoothed over the very clear bump on her tummy.

I held back a curse that threatened to slip out. The huge lump still stuck inside my throat. My God it was clear, she...she was pregnant and from the looks of it, she didn't have too awfully long to go. I knew for a fact that the baby she carried was not her husband's, she had told me he'd had a vasectomy.

I stood in utter shock wondering if the child she carried was mine. I wanted to run away...and confront her all at the same time. I stood a few more minutes before abandoning my cart and rushing outta the store. I couldn't catch my breath....I had to get the fuck out right now!