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『26 Salvatore Boarding House,
Mystic Falls, Virginia
MARCH 16TH 2009

DEAR DAMON

Do you remember when we talked about retiring to a more remote world with less trouble to deal with? Less Organisation, and supernatural turf war? Well, I wish for that now. It has been one chaos after the other. Which gets tiring.

One good news came out of it. I found a world that only humans can inhabit. It's perfect for us. . . At least, it would have been. My mother told me to settle down with Jonathan Cambridgeshire. After barging into my room to tell me I needed to move back home, so she could keep a closer eye on me.

Yesterday, my therapist asked if I had the desire to harm myself and anyone. I said yes. I wanted to harm myself. So, of course, my mother threatened an answer out of him.
While my father thinks I will indeed take myself out of this world if an eye isn't kept on me. He tells me I have many reasons to keep living while asking when I will be retiring from The Organisation.

Although my parents have been understanding of my plight. They offered to help look after something important to me. it does help to ease the pain holding me hostage.

On a good note;

My brother Jonah achieved a dream of mine to fight in The Dark Universe for Maaelefi'Caerus Mar'Liris. who might I add, is the uncle slash stepfather to Dark Creator. Dark Creator's family is complicated.

The history books says Dark Creator's father, Chrillon S'Phérę was the first husband of Maaelefi'Caerus. Maaelefi'Caerus left Chrillon after a petty fight. As retribution Chrillon claimed Derathys; the younger sister of Maaelefi'Caerus.

SIGH

Enough talk about Dark Creator's incredibly complicated family.

I bought a boat yesterday, she's named Betsy. She's beautiful and golden with a built-in living system, in case I need to run away again. The thought of swimming with the sharks has possessed my mind. I wouldn't mind sharks eating me.

Remember the mission I said was classified among many?  Well, it is not anymore. One of Dark Creator's husbands. No, it wasn't Kai. His first husband, Niklaus Mikaelson. The version from his universe. He's been plotting against his husband who beforehand left for two years.

In retaliation, Klaus turned werewolves into hybrids and sent them after his husband. It was a petty fight. But I heard, Klaus was severely punished by his husband.

Two weeks since my last entry.

My youngest sister, Théresę found my journal. This same journal. She read it and snitched to our mother. She told my mother that I was suicidal. No shit Sherlock. 'That's not news, THÉRESĘ. It's old news.' That was what I said to her.

I can't help but think about how fragile I am right now. My bones are soft and brittle. Humans live fewer lives, whereas I may get to live for centuries like you. Maybe then, we will find our way back to each other.

I want you to know the love I have for you is unyielding. No wind powerful enough will blow out the flames in my heart. I will let you know. I will find you. I will avenge us, even if it ends with my death. I will do it.

The day you confessed your love for me, my entire world spun so fast I could see the stars. You gripped my heart into submission. Despite the war I was fighting inside me, you were always there for me.

Do you remember the first time you learned I had depression?

It had been months since we started dating, and we were going on our third date. I was so hooked on antidepressants and therapy to tell you about this darkness taking control of my life.

So when the day of our third date arrived, I was happy. So Godsdamn happy. I even bought a new suit. It's like a switch. From smiling to feeling so weak, so covered with a thick blanket that I couldn't fight. Right there on the stairs, I fell. Wheezing, crying, numb.

I couldn't move. I couldn't think.

This heavy cloud repeated in my head.

'He will never love you.'
'You're a failure.'
'YOU'RE THE GRIMM WHO ALMOST KILLED HIM.'
'Worthless.'
'Good for nothing.'

All I did was stare at the ceiling, wishing that Daeril Death would claim my soul. That was when I heard that knock. Like clockwork, the tears started to flow.

'He can't see me like this. I'm strong and a badass. He can't see me like this.'

But you did. I had no idea if it was because you heard my rapid breathing and broke down my door. All I knew was that I didn't want you not to love me anymore, but you kept surprising me.

The next thing I knew, You raised and undressed me in a minute before you laid me under my bed covers.

The TV turned on and there you were, right in front of me, holding my face and saying, 'it's going to be okay, Micah. I'm here for you.' Then you left.
That thought, 'You're not good enough.' 'He's lying.' masked my mind again. Suddenly, there you were again, with a bowl of noodles along with a chicken egg sandwich. You sat me up and fed me, then cleaned me up before cuddling with me.

It was all grey.

Big fat grey.

That was when I knew that I would always love you, even if I didn't deserve you. For weeks on end, you stayed by my side until the lows became High. I knew It was a matter of time before the lows washed over me once again.

Do you know why I rejected Dark Creator's offer?

Because I wanted the time to myself. To find out everything about the day you were forced out of my life. I will find out who was responsible and make them pay.

With blood and pain.

LOVE,
MICAH UNDERWOOD.

P.S I LOVE YOU.