#NewClassicILIB

Chapter 29
Layers

"Alam mo hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o matatakot para sa 'yo..."

Jerlyn looked really concerned as she considered a lot of things after I told her how my feelings for Isaiah nurtured and grew. As I couldn't control the overwhelming emotions inside me and I had not experienced this kind of intense romantic feelings, I thought of confiding into Jerlyn and ask for advice.

Honestly, I wasn't one hundred percent confident that she'd be able to give me a useful advice, but I really wanted someone to talk to about my feelings. She was the only person I could trust about it. She was the only one who knew about what I feel for Isaiah.

"I'm not sure if you should risk your feelings for him or not," she continued.

Itinagilid ko ang ulo ko. "What do you mean?"

She let out a sigh. "You told me that you're getting closer and that you're the person he's confiding to..." she summed up what I told her earlier. "But are you really sure that you know him already? He's an artist. We don't know if he's just faking it."

I think I could understand where Jerlyn was coming from. I wanted to defend Isaiah, but I realized that she also had a point. I couldn't blame her for thinking that way.

"Alam mo na ba kung may girlfriend siya ngayon? Baka hindi mo alam at hindi mo puwedeng malaman dahil fan ka niya at artista siya!" Her imagination was starting to run wild. "O baka naman kagagaling niya lang sa break-up at gagawin ka niyang rebound!"

I was about to think that she'd been reading a lot of fiction novels about love, but I was struck with her last sentence. It hit the right spot. My shoulders slowly dropped at that realization. It was a thought that I had been trying to shut away. However, since Jerlyn mentioned it, the possibility of being Isaiah's rebound became so vivid to me.

Still, I didn't want to assume that he would consider starting a relationship with me. I'm just his fan who happened to get very lucky. I just happened to be there when he was vulnerable and when he needed someone, so he took that opportunity to lean on me.

I was in denial that such thing would ever happen. But at the same time, the possibility encouraged me. I dwelled on it a bit and hoped.

I mean, the door is just right in front of me. All I have to do is to twist the knob and open it. Why wouldn't I get tempted when it's everything that I want?

"You should really be careful, Zendaya." Jerlyn kept shaking her head as she warned me. "Don't get your hopes up. Don't create your own heartbreak."

It was amazing how Jerlyn mentioned something about being a rebound when I didn't even tell her about Isaiah's past relationship with Blair. I guessed that's how experienced she is when it comes to romantic relationships.

I thought I would end up not getting an apt advice from Jerlyn, but her reminders made me cautious of everything. It stirred up my mind and my feelings. I became a nervous rookie when it comes to love. That's why when Mr. Joel invited me and Dawn to watch the recording of New Classic's live session of I'll Be Okay, I almost rejected the invitation. However, I realized that this would be the first event of the band since I returned. And Dawn would be going to the recording. I couldn't just let her go alone.

It was just a small event. Only ten lucky First Classes were chosen to attend the live session. They needed the audiences to cheer for New Classic during the recording. Also, the band had not been performing in front of their fans since the encore concert for Utopian World, they seized the opportunity to treat their fans―even if only a few were allowed to join the recording.

Dawn prepared simple laminated banners for those who attended. Syempre ay mayroong kopya rin kaming dalawa. I brought my lightstick, which I had not used for so long. We also prepared snacks for the New Classic, the staffs, and the fans.

Dawn and I arrived earlier to arrange everything. Cloe was also there to assist the fans. She also asked us if we needed help. She was very reliable.

Ang live recording session ay gaganapin lamang sa pinakamalaking studio rito sa Top Star Records―isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kaunti lang ang inimbitang fans. The fans were seated only two meters away from the elevated part of the studio where the instruments were placed. Everyone was so ecstatic to be that close to the members.

Hindi pa nagtagal ay dumating na ang banda. Madami ang hindi napigilan ang sarili nila sa pagtili. They couldn't bring out their cameras, though, as per Cloe's instruction earlier when she briefed the fans. After the recording and filming, that's the only time they'd be given the opportunity to take pictures with the members.

Every member was wearing different semi-formal outfits, but they all had the same style and concept. Their color motif was white, so they all had white tops.

My eyes drifted right away to Isaiah who's currently adjusting the mic stand to his height. He was wearing a long sleeve polo with cuffs rolled up scrupulously. His hair was down, looking extra innocent because of the white shirt.

After a few seconds, Cloe went closer to them and asked them to line up at the center to greet the fans who came. Gaya ng iba ay pigil na pigil din akong kuhanin ang aking cellphone sa bulsa para kuhanan sila ng litrato. I missed seeing them lined up in a straight line for their greetings and ment that's why I wanted to take a picture.

While they were getting ready for their greetings, Isaiah's eyes wandered around the studio, and I nearly gasped when it stopped on me. He smiled as a greeting and nodded his head once.

It might be an innocent smile for him without malice, but it caused so much trouble to my fragile and hopeful heart. I couldn't bring myself to smile back, but my heart did in an instant.

Mabuti na lang at inilihis niya na rin agad ang tingin sa akin dahil nagsimula na sila sa pagbati. Nalipat na ang atensyon niya sa ibang mga fans na nasa harapan.

"Got Music?"

"New Classic!" The excited First Classes seated on the audience seat enthusiastically joined the greeting and waved their banners and lightsticks.

"We really missed hearing you doing the greeting with us," Ike told the fans. "Did you miss it, too?"

"Yes!"

Ike nodded his head and smiled. "I hope you'll enjoy this time with us and cooperate well with the recording. So, without further ado..." He then turned to the director and used a hand signal.

Sa opening ment ay si Ike lang ang nagsalita. They all went back to their position, except for Isaiah who got a bottle of water from Cloe. Mabilis niyang pinangalahatian ang bote bago niya ito binalik at tumakbo pabalik sa kanyang puwesto.

As soon as Isaiah was in front the microphone, he cleared his throat and craned his neck on one side. While blowing out a deep breath, he held on to the mic with both hands and closed his eyes. He was just getting ready to sing, but he was already so mesmerizing to my eyes.

One of the staffs hit the slate, and Ike started plucking his guitar.

I'll be... I-I-I'll be, I'll be
I'll be... I-I-I'll be, I'll be
I'll be... I-I-I'll be

I'll be alright
I'll be okay

Looking back,
No regrets
I tell myself that it's worth it
Worth it
Worth it

I shed a tear
I felt the pain
But I know that it's worth it
Worth it
Worth it

I take a deep breath
And let it go
Because I know in time...

Isaiah shot a lingering gaze to the camera filming him up close when he started singing. Though his eyes were on the camera, I was still focused on him. He was making it hard for me to pay attention to the other members. Everything about him is just so captivating.

I tripped and fell
Got bruised and burned
But I will stand up and fix myself
I'll live my life
I'll show a smile
Because I know in time...

I'll be alright
I'll be okay

Oh... Oh-oh
Oh... Oh-oh
Oh... Oh-oh
Oh... Oh...

Oh... Oh-oh
Oh... Oh-oh
Oh... Oh-oh

I'll be alright
I'll be okay

I did get my heart broken
But my world won't stop from turnin'
I will heal
I will love again

Isaiah's smile could overpower the brightness of the lights inside the studio. He wasn't just singing the lyrics; he was also showing it.

I'll be alright
I'll be okay
I'll be alright
I'll be okay...

When the song ended, we waited at least ten seconds before we clapped our hands and cheered for the band. As usual, they sounded better live. However, the filming didn't end that fast even if they already had an amazing performance.

While the director reviewed the pre-recording of the live session, the members were getting retouched by their personal stylist and professional make-up artist. Hindi nagtagal ay nagsimula ulit ang pangalawang recording.

Lumipat ako ngayon malapit kay Cloe kung nasaan ang mga monitors. Tutok na tutok din siya sa kanyang pinapanood habang may ngiti sa kanyang labi. There were five monitors which showed what was being filmed in each of the five filming cameras. Mayroong individual camera ang bawat member at mayroon ding camera kung saang kita silang lahat.

Like the usual, even if I tried to look at the other members' monitors, I would always go back to Isaiah. I could see his expressions clearer through the monitor unlike earlier. His expressions and the emotions he was showing were all raw. His passion for his craft never failed to tug at my heartstrings.

Since during the second run, all the members did well performing and the director got all the shots he wanted, the recording unexpectedly ended fast. Cloe finally gave permission to the fans to use their phones, while the members gathered at the center of the elevated floor.

"The shooting ended sooner than expected. We didn't want to end it just like this, so we decided to perform another song for you," Ike told the fans, and they all cheered loudly for the rare opportunity.

"We will perform a song of your own request," dagdag ni Sic. "Ano ang gusto ninyong kantahin namin sa inyo?"

"Someday!"

"Always!"

"Someday!"

"Moments!"

"Someday!"

"Someday!"

Iba-iba ang nire-request ng mga fans pero nangingibabaw ang pagsigaw nila sa Someday.

"Someday?" Jirro asked the fans to make sure.

"Yes!" They screamed out enthusiastically.

Those who were requesting for different songs earlier joined those who wanted New Classic to perform Someday.

I saw how the other members became tensed and nervous. They all stole a glance on Isaiah. It seemed like they were silently asking permission from him if they would really grant the fans' song request.

That was when it hit me what the song is about.

Right... Someday is that song...

Biting my lower lip, I felt a bit uncomfortable not only for me, but also for Isaiah. However, on the other hand, Isaiah's relaxed expression showed that he didn't seem to mind singing the song he wrote for Blair. The other members even looked more concerned and anxious than he was.

"Okay. Someday it is," Isaiah said with finality.

Nagkatinginan ang tatlo habang si Isaiah ay bumalik na ulit sa kanyang puwesto. Nang mapansing hindi umaayos ang tatlo ay nilingon niya ang mga ito.

"What are you guys waiting for?" he asked, slightly chuckling.

We were astounded when Isaiah unexpectedly chuckled. While the other members rushed to their own position, I remained looking at him, still amazed on how he looked casual and composed.

Every day I spent with you is something I cherish
Every night that I'm with you is something I want to last
Every time I see your face, it makes me smile
Every second is something worthwhile

And then, it crossed my mind
(I want this to last)
I want to be with you
'Til the end of time

When Isaiah began singing, he closed his eyes gently. I wasn't sure if he was trying to hide his feelings through shutting his eyes or if he was just really feeling the song.

Someday, you'll become mine
Someday, you'll be my bride
Someday, you'll be the first one I see when I open my eyes

Someday, you'll be my wife
Someday, if you'd give me a chance to be with you
For the rest of your life

Isaiah slowly lifted his head as he was done singing the last line of the song. His earnest gaze fixed on mine, and I felt my heart leaped because of it. He sincerely put on a smile, like he was reassuring me that he's really okay now and that there's nothing to worry about.

I really hoped that he was right, but he was wrong...

I might not have to worry about him anymore, but I was worried for myself. Just when I thought I wouldn't fall deeper, I still did.

Loving someone has so many different layers. As I peeled it layer by layer, I discovered more parts of me that I had not discovered before. I realized that I didn't want to hear him singing the song he wrote for another girl again―no matter how good it is. I was slowly starting to get selfish, wanting him all for myself, even if he wasn't mine to begin with.